Ignite Me (A Burning Desire Novel) (8 page)

You said I was the most exotic flower

Holding me tight in our final hour

I don't know how you convince them and get them, but

I don't know what you do, it's unbelievable

And I don't know how you get over, get over

Someone as dangerous, tainted and flawed as you

I chose the song in a heartbeat. It was a translation of
everything I felt for him. Falling for Landon Davis was easy, so much so, that
it happened in a matter of days. I gave myself to him, body, heart, and soul.
It was scary, and it went against all my instincts.

One for the money, and two for the show

I love you honey, I'm ready, I'm ready to go

How did you get that way? I don't know

You're screwed up and brilliant,

Look like a million dollar man,

So why is my heart broke?

You got the world but baby at what price?

Something so strange, hard to define

It isn't that hard boy to like you or love you

I'd follow you down, down, down,

You're unbelievable

If you're going crazy just grab me and take me

I'd follow you down, down, down, anywhere, anywhere.

I was struck by the sparkles that gleamed in his beautiful
gaze. Landon’s jaw twitched faintly, it was as if he understood what I was
communicating. His eyes were a mix of awe and something I could only describe
as disappointment. What hurt me most about it was that he only seemed to
discern the fear. It wasn’t what I aimed for. Although it was there, it was more
like an indelible mark, than anything else.

Landon pushed to his feet as soon as the music faded out.
He moved swiftly and extended his hand to me.
I stood carefully, pulled the guitar over my head, and
laid it on the floor.

“We’ll be right back with you.”

Landon cut in on the unbearable silence that governed the
room.

He walked me towards the kitchen, and into the backyard.
He stopped abruptly and turned me to him.

“What’s wrong?” I could hear the concern in my voice.

Landon pushed a rebelled curl, and locked his gaze on
mine. His eyes were a scorching gray and searching.

“Why did you choose that song Clea?” He spoke slowly; his
tone was smothering and undecipherable.

I frowned, “What do you mean?”

“What do you think it means?” He prompted.

I didn’t want to discuss it and risk ruining everything. I
knew he wouldn't understand what I meant. It wasn't worth it anyway.

“It’s nothing baby.” I went with my reassuring tone and
smiled at him.

“Ever since my birthday-special massage, I developed a
great fondness for Lana Del Rey’ songs and I wanted to sing one.”

I brought my palm against his cheek; the light stubble
sent a shiver through me.

He stilled his hand against it and brushed a kiss.

“So you think I’m screwed up?”

I swallowed and shook my head.

“No, I think you’re brilliant, hot, and mine.”

His smile broadened for a beat.

“What about dangerous, tainted, and flawed?”

I pulled him to me and wrapped my arms around him.

“Why do you focus on the lyrics? It’s just a song baby.”

He squeezed me in his arms.

“It wasn’t just a song when I was the one singing.”

He sounded hurt, but I chose to let it slide and wait for
tomorrow. I didn’t want to waste the day I had planned for us.

I pulled from him. “You know Mr. Davis?” I said, smiling
at him, “It’s just my opinion, but I think you focused on the wrong lyrics.”

I turned to walk back inside the house.

“But as I said, it’s only my opinion.”

Landon grabbed me, easing my back to his chest, and spoke
into my ear.

“Is that so Miss Opinionated?”

He slid his hand under my elastic band and slid one long
finger. My breath caught.

“I sense some defiance in your tone.”

The rasp in his voice added to the feel of his long,
dexterous finger, made my insides quiver.

“But it’s just my opinion.” He prompted sarcastically.

I gathered my courage and pulled his arm away.

It took a lot of strength to fight Landon Davis off, but
my determination fueled me.

I suppressed a smile, watching the baffled expression on
his beautiful face.

“Did I forget to mention that I’m on a Landon-free diet?”

“What the fuck is a Landon-Free diet?”

The confusion in his eyes did nothing to hide the
bafflement in his voice.

“What do you think it is?” I grinned stepping away
carefully.

I had made the decision earlier in the day. I didn’t want
the sex to be all the connection we had, especially when I was about to admit
my feelings to him. I had no guarantee that I was dense enough to turn him
away, but I was willing to do my best.

I also needed the reassurance that he could accept it.

I cherished the look on his face. It didn’t hurt to feel
desired, even though we were together less than one hour earlier.

“Are you saying that I can’t touch you?” I recognized the
manipulation in his tone.

I swallowed hard, glancing down at my watch.

“No.” My voice came out small.

“No I can’t touch you, or no, you’re not saying that I
can’t touch you?”

I shook my head.

“You can touch me, but that’s it.”

His jaw flexed and tightened.

“So I can’t kiss you?” His voice was completely composed.

He knew what I meant, and he was testing me. I needed to
put a stop to it before he got the upper hand.

“You can touch me and kiss me, but that’s it. If you
consent, we’ll sleep next to each other, if you don’t…”

“And if I don’t?” He prompted.

I shrugged and smiled.

“I’ll see if Jenna is in the mood for a pillow fight.” I
answered tartly.

Landon blinked rapidly, as if he couldn’t believe the
words that were coming out of my mouth.

“What the fuck is this about Clea?”

I wrapped my lips around my teeth to suppress a satisfied
grin.

“You love to test my resolve. I think it’s my turn to test
yours.”

His face sobered and I could hear a light snort.

“I think you’re getting cocky baby.”

He stepped towards me and spoke inches from my face.

“Well then, game on, Miss Determination.”

Landon’s tone was hot and defying. My insides were on
fire.

He walked past me and inside the house.

“Does this mean I sleep with you, or Jenna?”

I yelled after him.

“Whichever you want, baby.”

He disappeared inside the kitchen. I held still for a
moment to regain my senses. The defiance in his tone suggested that he didn’t
think I’d resist him if I chose to sleep next to him, or that maybe I wouldn’t
be able to sleep without him. I didn’t know which one, but I still had some
time to settle.

I cursed inwardly as my back hit the hard floor. I’d felt
someone’s presence behind me and jolted up from the couch in a fuzzy state. Why
did I choose to sleep alone in this scary big house again?

Ah, yes! I didn’t have a choice. It was either, sleep next
to my very challenging, possessive, hotheaded lover and take a risk to succumb
to his manipulation, or rain on Jenna’s parade.

So sofa, it was.

I rubbed my ass cheeks and carried myself back on the
vintage clic-clac.

“Morning Clea.” I jumped up again at Ryan’s cheerful
greeting and over-pitched tone.

“Check out what we got for ya’.”

His mood forced a smile on my face. Jude opened the
blinds, making me squint at a bright winter sunshine. He leaned down to press a
kiss on my temple.

“Good morning sweetie.” His voice had a tender, blissful
ring.

Jude handed me a yellow mug, to match the sunlight; the
smell of the freshly brewed coffee gave a boost to my senses.

“Thank you guys, I needed this.” I took a sip of the black
liquid and welcomed the oozing warmth of it.

“You like?” Ryan’s voice was dripping with energy and pure
happiness.

I frowned, not understanding what he was referring to. He
gestured to the mug, and I noticed the carving ‘Juju loves his Boo.’

I grinned broadly and jumped to my feet to press a kiss to
Jude’s cheeks. “I love you too, thank you.”

He wrapped his arms around me, “Ryan got you one, too.”

“Thank you, guys. Where did you buy them from?”

Ryan lounged on his back and started recounting their
morning. They went to the flea market at a town nearby, and spent time shopping
for their apartment. They found an old warehouse that was converted into an
artisan market. They ordered a tea table and a bookcase, and bought some gifts
for me and Jenna.

“Are you guys up for a run?” I suggested, feeling the need
to let off some steam.

“I’m sore, but I’m in, as long as you don’t go all
Gammoudi on me.”

I laughed at Ryan’s comment and walked out of the living room.

I turned midway, “Hey, what time is it? Why are we the
only ones up?”

“It’s seven.” Jude announced, making me choke on my coffee.

His face brightened, “We woke up to watch the sunrise from
the boathouse.” Ryan’s eyes sparkled tenderly.

It was refreshing to see the new scenery. I didn’t miss
the bad smells around the park, back in the city. I loved the smell of the cold
air on my cheek, the smooth cooling from the sun. It wasn’t something I usually
liked. However, now I knew I had someone to keep me warm, and it was all I
needed to appreciate the little things again.

Except yesterday, though. I had to seek warmth under the
cashmere quilt.

Jenna, Simon, and I spent the rest of the night in the hot
tub, playing ‘Never have I ever’ and reminiscing about college. It was
excruciating to play with someone who knew me as well as Jenna. But, when we
were drunk enough, we focused on Simon, and we built some sort of a bond.

That game has always been a great way to know people.

The girls decided to head out and seek an open dive bar,
or a nightclub. I heard Mia and Faith giggling when they came in around three,
when, in my foggy state; I thought I heard Landon murmur something to me.

Ryan and Jude went to bed; right after Landon had joined
Evelyn and Alec on some work emergency. They spent endless hours in Alec’s
library. Eve had an eclectic tone and it worried me.

Nonetheless, I was grateful for the distraction. From the
moment I’d announced to Mr. Davis that I was going cold turkey on our bed
activities, everything he did, seemed to carry a provoking meaning. He was
testing my resistance. It got worse when Jenna chose to interpret the
not-too-subtle message to Alec and sang ‘Soko’s’ ‘Wet Dream’. Landon’s mood
shifted instantly, from provoking to insinuating, and hotly amused. Every inch
of my fragile being was subjected to his blazing, dark gaze. He was thinking
about my dream, and frankly, so was I.

“Slow down Clea!” I heard Ryan’s breathless squeak past
Robin Thicke’s voice. I pressed pause on some blurred lines and turned to find
him lying on the grass.

“Are you fucking trying to kill me?” He snarled again.

Jude shook his head and bit out an amused smirk.

Ryan Finch didn’t like any activity that required any
extra efforts. He didn’t like being sore, sweaty, or messy, he just liked to
pretend he did.

“Screw you. Both.” He bit at me and Jude, when we
exchanged an amused grin.

“You’re such a lazy ass.” Jude admonished, still amused,
and failing to conceal it.

Ryan’s eyes widened, feigning offense, “We’ve been running
for an hour!”

Jude laughed and shook his head in disbelief:

“You’re such a drama queen; it’s been roughly twenty
minutes, tops.”

Ryan rolled his eyes and shrugged, “It sure felt like an
hour, to me.”

“It’s okay, guys.” I interjected to end Ryan’s misery. We
had a crazy week, especially the two of them, so I’d rather see them enjoying
their weekend.

“Oh, thank God!” Ryan pushed to his knees.

“Are you sure?” Jude insisted.

I nodded, blew them a kiss, and plugged my earplugs back
to ‘Coldplay’ ‘Clocks’.

I reminisced about the time Jude and Ryan first met. Ryan
and I had several classes together, and he was the reason I looked forward to
some of them. He used to sit next to me and comment about some of the students’
choice of clothing. He didn’t spare a soul, down to the faculty staff. Unlike
Jude, Ryan met every stereotype that was ever made about gays. However,
whenever I invited him for a drink with me and Jude, he would get excessively
calm and silent. It wasn’t hard to see how smitten he was with the Mediterranean
looks of my other half. It was sweet to witness someone with such a strong
personality, energy, and presence, get all timid and self-conscious around
someone he liked.

When Jude first admitted that he liked Ryan, I told him
about the impact he seemed to have on him, and the way he affected Ryan. Jude
used it to get him out of his shell. After their first kiss, Ryan had said to
him “I thought you were out of my league.” It somehow, made Jude fall for him,
instantly.

He just kissed him again, smiled, and said, “Trust me, I
totally am.”