Imperfect Bastard (17 page)

Chapter Eighteen

It was Wednesday night, and I was drumming up the courage to call Cori. It wasn’t particularly the call that had me nervous, but the fact that Drew was home, which was unusual. I had to make this call short just in case he decided to check on me, another unusual pattern of his for the past two nights. Not one to openly question his actions, I decided to let bygones be bygones.

Dialing Cori, I chewed on my lip until I heard his familiar voice pick up on the other end of the line. “I’m sorry, but I can’t make it. I wish you all the luck. I’ll see you when you get back.” Words rushed out of my lips so he didn’t even get a chance to say hello. Color me nervous, but it couldn’t be helped.

With Drew in the apartment, dealing with other men gave me severe agitation. Deep down, I knew I wasn’t doing anything wrong, but like any sensible person, I would rather avoid a combustible argument.

Cori remained quiet for a few moments before making a sound. “You’re still unwilling to let him go, then. I respect that.”

I could tell his pride was wounded, but I knew he would recover in no time. Playboys always did. It was the rubber band effect.

“Thank you, Cori. Good luck and have a safe trip.”

“You, too, Chloe.”

Cori hadn’t called me “Red,” a true indication that he was disappointed.

“Chloe?” Drew questioned as he opened the door, gazing over to where I sat crossed-legged on the mattress.

“What’s up?” Guessing by how he was freshly showered and all dressed up, it wasn’t hard to figure out. He was going out. It had taken him two nights to want to break free from staying home with me.

He seemed casual, though a little distant, before he sent me an addled smile. “I’m going out with the usual crowd from school.”

“I can see that.” Mirroring the same unaffected smile, I braced myself once again while feeling my world crumble around me. “Have fun,” I said wryly.

Drew seemed to be taken aback by my nonchalant demeanor. He started to open his mouth then instantly shut it, probably thinking better than to voice whatever he had meant to say.

“Good night, then,” he said awkwardly before giving me one last lingering look then leaving my room.

“Well, that didn’t last long.” I let out a shaky breath then pushed myself off the bed and took a long, hot shower.

Instead of dwelling on him and what he might be up to, I focused on tomorrow’s homework and working on my lackluster résumé in case
Teen Vogue
should call. I wanted to be prepared. Then I went to bed, dreaming about him, the models, the debauchery, and the kind of partying they usually did together.

My mind was on a whirl of a ride when my body awoke to something more primal and primitive, causing a throaty sound to come out of my mouth.

I woke up to Drew between my legs, rolling his hips, executing hard, quick thrusts as he breathed into my neck.

The glorious feel of him gliding in and out of me, his insatiable hunger, his desperation to have me, just as I did him, made me moan out his name while opening my body more for him. He could have it all. I was his for the taking.

“Baby,” I sobbed as I dug my nails into the skin of his hard, honed buttocks, greedily wanting more of him.

“Shh, Jacks is home,” he murmured into my ear before silencing me with a mind-numbing kiss, tranquilizing me into submission.

The sex became something more, something paramount that I couldn’t explain. It was as though we needed to mate to complete ourselves, filling that dark void that could only be satisfied by each other. I felt his drive, the craving, never waning but merely escalating to new heights.

“I’m sorry I woke you.” He kissed my cheek before smiling down at me a few seconds after he came. He smelled of smoke, his cologne, and alcohol.

For a few heady moments, my heart raced as I studied his face in the dark, thinking I had never loved him more compared to this very second.

“I definitely don’t mind waking up when I’m about to orgasm.” Grinning, I held the side of his head, slowly brushing his hair aside, overwhelmed by bubbling joy while my body still recovered from the high he had just given me.

“I couldn’t wait to come home. I had to have you, or I would’ve gone out of my mind,” he said as he slowly pushed in his half-mast length that was still lodged inside of my wet channel.

His member was regaining its strength as it gradually grew inside of me. And when he took me a second time, though he was still rough, there was tenderness to his kiss and the way those eyes held me.

When I emerged from my deep slumber with an ache between my legs, there was no sign of him, but there was an indention from his head on the pillow, telling me he had slept with me until he’d had to go to school.

With his school, work, and social activities, did he even have time to study? I mean, I knew he’d had a perfect GPA in high school, but college was a whole different league.

For the first time in a long time, I sported an easy smile, as if the sun were shining down on me, as if my soul were finally happy. Everything felt great, and I rode the high all day long … up until I realized I was home alone, went to bed alone, and woke up the next morning with no Drew in sight.

Jackson came in and out of the apartment, but nothing from Drew. Out of my mind with worry, I tried to call him, but it went directly to voicemail. I sent a message, asking him to contact me, but by Friday, the sound of crickets had grown louder.

It was in the wee hours of Sunday when I got a response from him, extinguishing our one-week affair in two sentences.

Thank you for granting me the most amazing time, even though it was short-lived. You’re the greatest anguish I’ll forever bear.

He had to end it sooner or later. I hadn’t been fooled into thinking that it could last forever. However, I had hoped he would change his mind.

You’re the greatest anguish I’ll forever bear.
My heart constricted because he was mine.

“I know,” I whispered out loud, “that maybe someday … You’ll come to your senses.” But that wasn’t going to be anytime soon; that much was obvious.

Weightless, that was the word that fully described how I felt after learning he could easily dispense of me through a simple message. He could have at least done it through a civilized conversation! I wouldn’t have objected. We could have  at least ended the affair with some form of respect.

I was more pissed than I cared to acknowledge. After seeking out Manolo and Chuey for some good company and drinks, though, I realized he was a coward. And no matter what excuse he could come up with, I wouldn’t ever forget how he had unfairly treated me.

Manolo, Chuey, and his lover Jordy were great distractions. They knew I was out of sorts. What I cherished about them was that they didn’t pressure me to divulge anything, which made it easier to drink and dance the night away. Besides, I had gone over it all once way back when I had first met them. There was no need for me to keep harping on the same old story.

This was aptly called growing pains. I kept telling myself that, a year from now, I would be dreaming and dealing with other things, and this painful memory would remain in the past. We all had one, after all. Each heartbreak, each relationship, shaped each and every person, molding us into a unique individual.

★

Four Jack and Cokes, two body shots, a dirty martini, and an Irish car bomb later, I had a perfectly massive, pounding headache the next morning. I had never drunk so much in my life, and the thought of seeing sunlight made me want to vomit.

And just as I was about to doze off, my phone rang, torturing me.

“What do you want?” I growled into the phone without checking the caller I.D.

“Who pissed you off, Red? Give me the name and address, and I’ll take care of it for you,” Cori’s teasing voice broke into my brain fog.

Even though half of my face was shoved into a pillow, a grin slowly made its way onto my lips. “Hey, you,” I managed to say. “No one pissed me off.” Not in that sense. “It’s just a hangover. Nothing life threatening.”

Our conversation flowed without any problems. If he was disappointed that I hadn’t joined him in California, he didn’t mention it. Consequently, when he offered to bring me food, reasoning that it was already past lunchtime, I gratefully obliged him.

It took Cori about an hour to get to the apartment, and since it was Monday, no one was home except me.

For a brief moment, I felt a twinge of guilt for inviting a male guest into our home, but after reminding myself how callously I had been dispensed by Drew, that feeling instantly went away.

Luckily, Cori didn’t mind seeing me in my boy shorts and the loose shirt I had slept in while my eyes still had last night’s hint of makeup because I was too plastered to properly wipe it all away.

“What’d ya got there?” My eyes were glued to the white paper bag in his hand, smelling of grease, melted cheese, and juicy meat.

“Mouthwatering goodness, it looks like,” he muttered with that cheeky look on his face. “Here, Red. Eat your heart out.” He handed me the bag, and I gratefully snatched it, running into my bedroom, sitting on my bed, and beginning to dig in.

“This is the sexiest thing I have ever seen,” I heard Cori somewhere while minding my own business, picking at the fries then placing them on top of the burger before biting into it like no one’s business.

A low, satisfying moan came up my throat as the flavor unfurled on my tongue, sending my senses into a whole different frenzy. This was my ambrosia, and I deserved every delicious bite of it.

Halfway through the burger, I managed to look up and found him leaning against the doorframe with a can of soda in his hand, studying me with curious wonderment.

“What?” My brows rose up in question before taking another mouthful of food.

“I love a woman who loves to eat meat.” He snickered, strolling over toward the bed and placing the can of soda on my bedside table. He then sat right across from me with that wicked gleam in his eyes as he watched me gobble on the small feast.

Cori and his sexual innuendoes aside, he wasn’t all that bad. It had taken some getting used to, but once I had, his words had become just that—mere words. He was attractive, but he didn’t affect me like Drew did, and in some ways, that was good. I could only handle dealing with that kind of upheaval from one man. Two would be suicidal.

After I finished the meal, Cori discussed the highs and lows of his weekend, detailing it in his own quirky way. We got comfortable, laughing one second then kissing the next. His kiss was punishing, and it took me a few seconds to finally realize what we were doing.

At first, I was reluctant to give in, but the more he pressed his body against me, the more my senses and judgment became impaired. Maybe it because of the mixture of despair, heartbreak, and the thought that there was this hot blooded man who wanted me. I mean, after being so callously rejected by Drew, I needed some validation to feel good about myself, to know I was worthy and wanted, desired not just for my looks, but everything else. All these emotions washed over me, and it didn’t help that Cori was too good at this game.

“Red,” Cori groaned as he kissed me, sliding his hand under my shirt and to my breasts. I was helpless against his expert ministrations.

At one point, Drew’s face flashed in my mind, but I justified going forward by reminding myself that maybe this was what I needed to move on, to finally know what it felt like to know another man’s touch, to make memories that didn’t include him. And so I did.

Cori had come prepared. I barely noticed him putting on protection. Before I could utter anything, he had already impaled me. And just like the man, he took me, hard and unforgiving.

It was different than what I knew with Drew. With Drew, there were a lot of different elements involved, but with Cori … It was pure, unadulterated sex, no more, no less. He served it sizzling hot, and God help me, it felt good to feel free, though my heart was slowly dying. Aside from that part of my body, everything else was enraptured.

We lingered in bed, and Cori eventually fell asleep, holding me. While he dozed, I was wide awake, my brain not willing to shut off.

For a moment, I took a good look at him and felt a small smile cross my face. Then I slid off the bed and put on the abandoned shirt that had been flung on the foot of the bed, in need of some ice-cold water.

Why had I been so against having sex with other people before? I had missed out on what dating was really all about.

Just before reaching the kitchen, I almost died of a heart attack when I saw Drew leaning against the counter. How long had he been here? Why was he home?

My mind went numb. The thought of him being here while things had gone on with Cori in the bedroom … Fuck.

Gazing up at him, I saw his eyes had shadows around them, as if he hadn’t slept a wink.

“Drew …” I choked out, unsure what to even say.

“Don’t.”

One word. He uttered one word, and I felt like he had stabbed me in the heart a thousand times. It couldn’t be helped; my tears fell, and while I quietly sobbed, he simply stared at the floor, as if he were reeling, as if he were trying to grasp what had just happened between us, between Cori and me. And in that moment, I honestly didn’t know what to do.