Imperfect Bastard (16 page)

Cori thought I was a good girl?

His message was a true reflection of him, and it saddened me to think that a mere stranger saw more than I had showed him. He was right, though; I knew what I would get from him.

Drew, on the other hand, was headstrong about not dating me, but still wanted me physically, albeit reluctantly. At times, I could feel his struggle, even when he had been inside of me. I had sensed that he loathed himself for wanting me so much.

It wasn’t the greatest feeling to know that he wanted me against his will. However, it was difficult to deny him.

“You don’t have to. You can just leave, and he won’t even know it.” I was gearing myself up for the next move.

He was at the bar; he wouldn’t even know I left. Knowing how he functioned, I doubted he would chase after me. He would most likely go back to his rich friends and smoke, drink, and fuck models. Wash, rinse, and repeat.

Eyeing my glum reflection, I made a determined nod as I wiped the moisture off the sides of my eyes before reapplying another kohl layer atop the faint one then redoing my lipstick.

“There. Much better,” I said out loud, noting that my saddened eyes were no longer apparent. In their place was mystery. The dark liner made my eyes glow much more strikingly than before.

Exiting the bathroom, I paused to take one steady breath for encouragement before resuming my steps toward the main door. Chin up and be proud, scars, broken heart, and all.

Yanking the door open, I was about to take another step when I found Drew casually leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, as pensive as ever.

Fuck.

“Going somewhere?” His gaze flickered to my clutch before pinning me with those artic eyes of his. His demeanor was twice as bad. How did he manage to be so manipulative without words?

Nervous didn’t define me. Try borderline hysterical. Everything felt so stifled. I couldn’t breathe. Drew never used to intimidate me like this, but things had shifted between us from bad to disastrous.

“I, uh … came looking for you.” Fuck, there I went, lying again. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just say I was ready to scram because he was colder than the peak at Mount Everest?

“Dishonesty doesn’t suit you, cupcake.”

Fuck you, too. If he weren’t so aggravating, I wouldn’t take drastic measures to preserve myself from him.

“You don’t want me. I can’t read you. I’m even beginning to think that I’m going mental. It’s just too much, Drew.”

“Has it ever occurred to you that I needed a drink because you ought to be fucking
him
instead of me?” He held his composure, barely revealing his emotions.

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

“You were just leaving. I don’t have to wonder where you might be off to.” He stepped aside, giving me space to walk away. “I’m not stopping you a second time, Chloe.”

He was the most infuriating person I had ever come across!

“Why do you have to be so …? You weren’t like this before. You’re so serious about everything. You make me fucking nervous. Your eyes fucking cut me. You’re hot one minute then cold the next. What am I supposed to think, Drew? I need the old you back. This harsh, corporate asshole, Columbia guy … It’s too much for me.” I shrilled, halfway from going ballistic on him, my voice echoing into the hallway.

He dropped his gaze to floor for a few seconds before he pushed himself away from the wall and walked toward me.

“I’m sorry this happened again. I shouldn’t have,” he said in an emotionless tone before walking past me and straight into the room.

Somewhere deep within, I heard something crack. I thought it was my temper finally boiling over to lunacy.

“You’re sorry?” I said while my eyes did that knowing crazy roll before I slammed the door shut and marched toward him. Jerking his arm so he could face my wrath, I felt anger course through my veins as I eyed him menacingly before slapping his cheek, too overwhelmed by emotions. “Were you sorry that you hijacked my night? Or was it when you fucked me raw? Were you sorry then, too?”

My hand was halfway from landing on his cheek once again when he caught my arm, swiftly twisting it behind my back. Then he roughly pushed my body against the wall.

Panting into the wall, I reeled when he wrenched my underwear off, tearing it away from my body. Before I could protest, he lodged his dick into my pussy, evoking a sound that resembled a moan and growl.

“Do you feel just how sorry I am?” he growled as he pushed farther into me, stretching my swollen canal to fully accommodate his monstrous size. “Keep choking my cock like that. Don’t let go,” he ordered.

I tried with all my might to control my muscles while withstanding the ferocity of his thrusting.

Delirious, he grabbed my hair, bunching it into his fist before pulling my head backward so my head rested against his chest. Without breaking pace, he then used that hand to push the small triangles that covered my chest, freeing my breasts. Both hands took hold of my sensitive globes, grabbing them as he slowed his pace.

He then heavily breathed into my ear, “Where do you want me to nut, Chloe?” as he toyed with my nipples.

“Inside of me.” The last time had made me feel complete, and I wanted to see if he could take me there again, becoming whole with him.

“How badly do you want it?”

A cry escaped my lips when he twisted and pulled my nipple, making it twice as sensitive. “I want you. I crave every lost drop of you … always.”

“Keep still. Make yourself available to me. Don’t deny me your body.”

Kissing my neck, he skillfully played my body like a beautiful instrument, relieving me of any energy, of any thought, becoming subdued, languid, and submissive, a slave to its master. And just when I thought it couldn’t get more intense, he secured his hand around my neck while he gripped my hip with the other hand before he brought me into a screaming pinnacle of orgasm.

“Don’t let go. Tighter!” he bellowed while I came around his engorged cock as he furiously pounded in and out of my channel. “Just like that, baby, just like that,” he incoherently huffed out before biting my neck as his dick expanded, injecting his semen into my womb.

A soft smile crept onto my face as I lavished on the rapid beat of his heart against my back. He kissed the very spot he had bruised with his teeth, soothing it.

He was still lodged inside of me, larger than life, while he made small, soft strokes, discharging the last bit of his essence into me before I moved my face to the side, facing him.

“Did that make you feel better?”

“A little,” he whispered before kissing the tip of my nose.

I sought his face, softly caressing it while my eyes were halfway shut, happily drained of ambition. “No more fighting?”

“I didn’t realize we were,” he teased as he softly gazed into my eyes.

“I forgot that’s just the usual for us.” I snickered. “I hate that I love you.”

“You don’t mean that.” His face turned somber. “I’m only the happiest when I’m with you.” He aimed for my heart, forever holding it captive.

“Really? I don’t believe it.”

“I do.” He gazed into me before kissing me thoroughly, passionately. “You make me happy.”

Just as Cori had stated, Drew wasn’t in love with me, and I wasn’t trying to pursue such grand illusions about it. Without the possibility of him falling in love with me, this was the next best thing—making him the happiest man when we were together … if I were willing to settle for second best. However, I knew that, even though I was satisfied with what I had with him, someday soon, I would want more from him, and Drew didn’t have the capacity to fill the void that ached inside of me. As much as I hated to think about it after what he and I had just shared, I knew, come Monday, I had to let him go.

★

Adamant that I didn’t fall asleep, Drew convincingly kept me up in bed. It was already the crack of dawn, and he was about to leave for school in a few hours while I made my way back to the condo. This had been a whirlwind, and I knew I would forever keep these memories in my memory bank to cherish and look back at when I was alone.

“The sunrise is breathtaking from here,” he intoned before pulling me toward him while I rested my cheek on his chest.

The bedroom had floor to ceiling glass that gave a one hundred and eighty-degree view, so when the sun began to rise, glowing from afar, I felt this serenity awash me as we quietly viewed one of life’s most beautiful moments. There was nothing like it, and I was truly glad that he had persisted that I watch it with him.

It was almost six when my eyes began to water from lack of sleep. When he suggested we order in breakfast, I had to wave the white flag. His stamina was insane, and I was having a hard time trying to catch up with him.

“Go ahead. Eat your heart out. I’m going to sleep. I’ll see you when I see you.”

“You don’t want to talk?” he asked softly, stroking my back.

“There’s nothing much to be said that we haven’t said to each other. I’m good; you’re good; we’re good.” I had to laugh at my idiocy

“Are you sure?”

Quite.

“You bet,” I mumbled before sinking deeper into his arms and passing out.

I somewhat remembered how he held me for a stretch of time before he called in for room service. Vaguely, I recalled the shower running while he got ready to leave, but what I vividly remembered was the kiss he gave me before leaving.

It wasn’t the kiss per say. It was the affection I felt from it. He had wanted to say something, but dared not to. There was no mistaking that we were fond of each other, yet we both knew this had to end.

The next few days in the apartment would no doubt be challenging. Nevertheless, since I had the boys and now Cori, I was sure I wouldn’t spend much of my time indoors anymore.

Getting over him wouldn’t be easy. Hell, I wasn’t sure it was possible, but I had to at least try. It was all I could do. It was the best I could do.

Chapter Seventeen

“Should I ask how your weekend went?” Cori teased as I slowly chewed on a piece of calamari. We were having dinner a few blocks away from the apartment in this new joint I wanted to try out.

“You could say it was unexpected …” I lamely responded before reminding myself to divert the subject back to him. Dwelling on how it all had gone down with Drew still gnawed deeply. After all, it had been twelve hours since I had fallen asleep in his arms, and I hadn’t seen or spoken to him since. “How’d yours go? Still flirting your way around town, picking up chicks new to the city?”
Myself included
, I thought with a smile.

“Hey, no need to air out my dirty tricks.” He laughed before popping a piece of bread into his mouth.

Cori was so laid back and casual, not to mention crazy sexy in his own rough kind of way. Unlike Drew, he wasn’t demanding of my emotional and mental focus. I liked that very much.

“I’m going to be away this coming weekend,” he said, garnering my attention away from dwelling on my wasted lost love.

“Where to?”

“SoCal. There’s this thing called Slamfest, and I’m going to be a part of it.” He considered me for a moment before casually leaning against his chair. “Why don’t you come? I could use the extra support.”

I laughed, not at his invitation, but at his statement about needing extra support.

“I have a feeling you’re not lacking in that department, Cori. There’s no need to be coy with me.”

“All right, all right,” he said, chuckling as he shook his head. “Man, you really have it out for me, don’t you? But I’m being serious. It’s close to where you’re from. You can invite friends if you like.”

The idea of seeing Courtney made me almost say yes. “I don’t know … This is going too fast—”

“I’m not asking for anything except to have you there, cheering me on. I’ll even lay off the seduction if that’ll make it easier for you,” he countered.

“How noble of you,” I retorted, barely avoiding rolling my eyes at him.

“I’m trying my best here, Red.” He shrugged before reaching out across the table to cover my hand with his. “Give me a little credit. This declaration might fuck me up big time, but I want you there. That’s all.”

Did the guy ever hide anything? He was like an open book, and I didn’t know what to make of it.

“When are you leaving?” I found myself asking.

“This Friday.”

“In four days?” I blurted out before he confirmed it with a quick nod. “That’s cutting it close. Well, I can’t promise you anything, but I’ll let you know by Wednesday night if I can make it.”

A part of me wanted to go and experience this new adventure with Cori, but a large part also held me back because of Drew. Moving on when your heart was barely mended didn’t evoke the greatest of feelings. The question I had to ask myself was if I was willing to plunge into this head-on.

“Fair enough.”

“So, apart from riding and flying around on bikes, what else happens at these types of things?”

He laughed again. “You’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you?”

Cori didn’t bring up the subject of Slamfest from then on. It was as if he were giving me time to digest his invitation. It was, after all, quite a lot to consider. First off, I didn’t know him well. True, I might be hanging out with my friends, but still, I would be stuck on a six-hour plane ride with him. God knew how that would pan out.

For the remainder of our dinner, he chatted about his life and how his passion had turned into something bigger than he had expected. It was a side of him to admire. His eyes lit up like I had never seen before, and for a moment, without his flirty persona being applied, I got glimpse of what kind of a man he was. I had to admit, I was intrigued.

While strolling back to my place after insisting I walk back alone, I texted Manolo, informing him that I would be stopping by the bar soon to catch up. Then I responded to Spencer’s message in regards to him asking for a raincheck.

With no messages or calls from Drew all day, I was sure whatever it was we’d had this past weekend was buried right underneath his stubbornness and inability to accept that he was attracted to me.
I get it. I’m not his type
. Although, that didn’t change how little it made me feel every time that thought crossed my mind.

What little euphoria I had evaporated the moment I stepped into the building and entered the elevator. Releasing a sigh just as the elevator cart halted and opened to my designated floor, I pulled out my keys and opened the door.

The kitchen lights were on, but I didn’t feel like greeting Jackson or Drew. The thought of small talk made me want to gag quite frankly, so I sprinted toward my bedroom, hoping to eradicate this heavy, sinking feeling in my stomach that made me want to drown myself in something. A bath? Alcohol? What? At this point, anything would do, really.

Dumping my purse on the nearest white lounge chair, I was slipping out of my shoes when the door opened without as little as a knock.

“Hey.” Drew peeked in before coming through the door and closing it behind him.

“Hey,” I uttered, still reeling at the sight of him looking as though he hadn’t dwelled on what had happened between us for a single moment.
If he thinks he’s going to bring out “the inevitable talk,” he can shove it where it hurts the most.

“You’ve been gone awhile.” He gave a cautious smile without advancing, choosing to hover by the door.

“Yeah, had to grab a quick dinner, you know. I hadn’t really eaten all day, and the thought of cooking just didn’t appeal to me.” Disconnecting my gaze from his, I dropped my eyes and pulled out my hair from the loose ponytail before brushing the ends with my fingers.

Why is he making this more awkward? It’s fine. I told him it is. But apparently, he didn’t get the damn memo.
Ugh. My bleeding heart.

“I could’ve gotten you something had you called.”

He was being polite. I hated it when he was being fucking polite.

“It’s okay. I really didn’t mind since I needed to get some fresh air, anyway.” Giving a stiff smile, I managed to look at him, though not directly. I didn’t have the nerve just yet. Besides, if he decided to know more about dinner, I might be inclined to divulge whom I’d had it with.

He nodded. “Fair enough, but if that happens next time, just call me, and I’ll get you whatever you want.”

“Thanks.” I blew out a breath of relief that he hadn’t pressed. What I had told him wasn’t particularly a lie; I just had chosen not to include Cori.

“Anyway … I meant to call you earlier.”

Here we go,
I blew out a breath
. Just act casual, Chloe. Easy does it.

“Oh, yeah? What about?”

He hesitated a moment before licking his lips and throwing me shy smile. “A guy from my class mentioned something, and I had this insane but brilliant idea that might interest you.”

So this was something else? Thank God. We didn’t need a confrontation. We were good. That was all I could hope for, really.

“Do tell.”

“My friend’s sister works as one of the chief editors at
Teen Vogue
. I thought it’d be a great opportunity for you to dip your toes into the world of journalism, get the feel of the surroundings and see if it’s something you might want to pursue later on. I get that this will be mainly focused on fashion, but why not? It’s a great learning opportunity for you, so as a favor, I asked if he could get his sister to see you for an interview. I gave him your number, so don’t panic if you’re getting a random call from a number you’re not familiar with.”

“What?” Did I hear him right? I did, didn’t I? “
Teen Vogue?
Holy smokes, Drew, that’s huge!” I screeched before thoughtlessly running toward him and hugging the living shit out of him. “You’re the fucking best!”

“You’re not mad at me?” he asked, grinning down at me.

My heart melted over and over again. “Are you serious? Of course not! And thank you. I’d be the biggest idiot of the century if I didn’t take this interview. God, this is so exciting! Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.” He cared about me, and I couldn’t fault him for that. “You’re amazing, but you know that already!”

“I do, but I don’t mind being told again,” he murmured just as I was letting him go. “Where are you going, woman? Come here. I’ve missed you all day.”

He had? Oh God …

“You—”

I was about to ask him if he truly had when he kissed me senseless, taking my breath away. If I’d had any lingering questions in my mind about him missing me, his kiss told me all I needed to know.

We tried to part after a few heady, lengthy kisses, but I supposed the need was too great, too powerful. We ended up in bed with him showing me just how good of a lover he was, and I fell asleep in his arms, only to be woken a few hours later when he took me again.

Drew Cavendish was insatiable, and I wouldn’t have him any other way.