Impulsive (Reach out to Me) (12 page)

              She watched up until it looked like the movie was headed for a happy ending, and then turned the television off. She didn’t even have the energy to go to bed. Kara just slid down on the couch and put a throw pillow under her head so that she wouldn’t wake up unable to move her neck in the morning and fell asleep.

              The next day wasn’t any better. For one thing, since she’d slept in the living room, she woke up much earlier than she wanted when the sun streamed through her sheer white curtains. For another, she’d kicked the throw off in the middle of the night and her feet were freezing. Just as she was thinking of getting up long enough to walk down the hall and get back in bed again, her phone rang. She practically vaulted over the back of the couch and looked frantically for her phone. It was in the purse she’d dropped by the door last night because she hadn’t had the energy to hang it on the hook where it belonged.

              She checked the caller I.D. and felt her heart sink when it wasn’t Thomas. She decided to let Michelle’s call go to voicemail. She didn’t feel like explaining herself to anyone just yet. Everything else seemed like too much work, so she walked down the hall and crawled into her bed.

              The pillow on the left side still smelled like Thomas’s musky, clean scent and she buried her face in it as she fought the urge to cry once more. When her phone rang again, she simply turned the phone off. It was silly to assume that Thomas was going to call her. It was almost as silly as assuming that he’d loved her or that they might be headed for a deeper commitment.

              She groaned a few short hours later when she dreamed someone wouldn’t stop calling her name. A bop on the head from her spare pillow woke her up fairly efficiently though.

              “Kara!” Michelle said for the seventh time. “What in the world is going on? We were supposed to be on our way to pick up the dresses half an hour ago!”

              Kara covered her face with her hands and groaned again.

              “Get up!” Michelle gave her another, less-friendly smack with the pillow.

              “Can we please go tomorrow?” Kara mumbled. She didn’t really care how many times Michelle hit her; she wasn’t getting out of bed today and that was final.

              “They aren’t open tomorrow,” Michelle answered, clearly trying to hold on to her temper and remain composed. “Kara, this is important! I know you were probably out late, living it up with Thomas, but it’s time to come back to reality and, oh I don’t know, do your job as my maid of honor!”

              Really? Now Michelle was yelling at her? Kara sat up and eyed her friend angrily.

              “No Michelle, as a matter of fact, I wasn’t out living it up with Thomas last night. I was out getting dumped by Thomas last night. And have you ever considered that you wouldn’t have so much to freak out about if you’d taken my advice and done this a little earlier than two weeks before the wedding?” she snapped.

              Michelle clearly wanted to address that last comment, but there were more important things to talk about.

              “Thomas dumped you?” she asked, sitting down beside her friend in shock. “Oh Kara, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

              “You should be,” Kara answered, giving in to her need to have a good fight with someone.

              “What?” Michelle was clearly stunned. “What on earth do you mean by that?”

              “You practically threw me at him! Oh Kara,” she said, slipping into a poor imitation of Michelle’s voice. “He’s so good looking! Oh Kara, he’s so perfect for you! He’s so stable and so good and so not likely to punch you in the face! You never once stopped to think that he might hurt me so much more than anyone else ever has! You just wanted me to end up with a guy like Hayes!”

              “Kara,” Michelle said, clearly hurt. “I know that you’re hurting but it’s not fair to say that I threw you at each other. I thought he was a nice guy and I was happy to see that you were dating someone who might be good for you for a change, but you did all the chasing yourself.”

              “So this is my fault? Are you actually agreeing with him? Are you actually going to stand there and take his side?” Kara was so upset that she had to work with everything she had not to start to cry again.

              “Kara, how can I take his side when I don’t even know what happened?” Michelle asked. Then, before she could get angrier with her friend, who she knew was only lashing out because she’d really cared about Thomas and was hurting a lot right now, she went on. “Why don’t we both take a break and calm down? You go hop in the shower and I’ll run get you some breakfast. Well,” she corrected herself with a glance at the pink alarm clock on Kara’s oak nightstand. “I guess I’ll get you some lunch.”

              “Fine,” Kara said as she swept the sheets and comforter back and stomped down the stairs and into the bathroom.

              It didn’t really help matters in the grand scheme of things, but she felt better when she slammed the door, so she slammed the medicine cabinet as well and yanked the shower curtain back as hard as she could before turning the water on full-blast. Once steam was rolling out from behind her ducky-printed shower curtain she stepped in and gasped as the hot water began to pound her skin. Okay, maybe she could take it down a few notches. She adjusted the temperature and force of the spray and then leaned her forehead against the tiled wall.

              The shock of the hot water had taken the fight right out of her. She felt terrible for the things she’d said to Michelle. She knew her friend had only been looking out for her best interests. She’d also been right. Kara wished a thousand times over that she’d just listened when Michelle warned her about pushing Thomas so far out of his comfort zone or taking up too much of his time. She might still have him if she’d just listened to Michelle!

              She was rubbing lotion on when she heard Michelle come back into the apartment.

              “Michelle?” she called. The bathroom door was closed, but the apartment was small so she knew her friend would hear her.

              “Yes?” Michelle asked warily.

              “I’m so sorry,” Kara admitted. “I shouldn’t have said any of the things I said.”

              “It’s okay, Kara,” Michelle said. “I understand.  And I’m sorry to hear about you and Thomas.”

              “Me too,” Kara said, but she knew she’d spoken too softly for Michelle to hear her. “Hey,” she went on in a louder voice. “Would you mind setting the table? I’ll be out in just a few minutes.”

              “Sure.”

              Kara heard dishes clinking as she hurried into her room to dress. She picked out a bright pink skirt with a flared out hemline and a crisp white shirt to go with it. She might feel dark and depressing, but maybe if she looked cheerful, it would help. She put her hair up in a twist and dabbed some bright gloss on her lips to give them that wine-stained appearance she went with on light make up days. A little foundation and a touch of mascara was all she had the energy to do after that.

              She told Michelle that she didn’t feel like rehashing the breakup, and that was the truth, but it was mostly because she had the sinking feeling that her friend might have been right. She thought back to Michelle’s warning last week about taking up too much of Thomas’s time. It still didn’t give him a good and sufficient reason for breaking it off with her without even giving her a chance to fix it.

              Kara forced a cheerful mood when they picked up the dresses and continued forcing that mood for the next two weeks of wedding preparations. She didn’t hear from Thomas once and they hadn’t even run into each other at work. She figured he must just be getting there extra early and leaving late. She tried to dress a little nicer than usual everyday so that, if she did run into him, she’d be devastatingly hot and he’d regret his decision, but so far she hadn’t had any luck with that.

             
“Oh Michelle you look beautiful,” Kara gasped when Michelle stepped into the room in her wedding dress.

              “You’ve already seen me in it once,” Michelle said with a laugh.

              “Yeah, but not on your actual wedding day!” Kara protested. “This is so much better!”

              “I agree,” she said with a grin. “You look gorgeous too!”

              “Whatever,” Kara said with a wave of her hand. “Don’t be nice to me! I’ll cry and my makeup will run. Now, let’s get you out there and married off!”

              The ceremony was beautiful. The weather had cooperated perfectly by giving them a sunny, warm afternoon with just the slightest breeze. Kara sent up a prayer of thanks as she walked down the center of the lawn to the apple tree where Hayes and the priest stood.

              Michelle and Hayes had written their own vows and after they were spoken, Kara happened to glance out over the audience to blink away her tears. She nearly gasped out loud when she saw Thomas in a chair that had been empty until about five minutes before the ceremony began. When had he arrived? She took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves and to try to stop her hands from shaking before she turned her focus back to her best friend’s wedding. She’d deal with him later, if he even stuck around. He had been invited by Michelle so maybe he just hadn’t wanted to be rude.             

              When the ceremony was done and Hayes and Michelle began the receiving line, Kara slipped away and walked over to Thomas. He was standing away from the crowd, near the shelter of the apple tree. She wondered what he was going to say to her. She wondered what she should say to him.

              “Hello,” was all she managed to say once she got close to him.  She was proud of herself when her voice stayed steady. She really hadn’t thought it would.

              “You look wonderful,” he said softly as he looked at her.

              “Michelle has good taste,” Kara replied. “And she let me help.”

              Thomas gave a shy, half smile as he nervously shoved his hands into the pockets of his suit pants.

              “What are you doing here?” Kara asked bluntly when he didn’t immediately speak again.

              “I was invited,” he reminded her. “That isn’t my reason though. Honestly, I just wanted to see you.”

              “Well,” she said. “Now you have.”

              His face fell and he gave a slow nod. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have come.”

              “No,” Kara said involuntarily when he started to walk away. “I shouldn’t have said that. You don’t have to leave just yet. I know Michelle and Hayes would love to get a chance to see you before they go on their honeymoon.”

              He followed her without saying a word as she walked over to the newlyweds.

              “Hi!” Michelle said when she saw him. “I thought that was you in the back row! I’m so glad you came.”

              Thomas gave her a hug and then shook Hayes’ hand. “You’re a lucky man,” he said with a smile.

              “Don’t I know it,” Hayes replied as he glanced down at his beautiful bride. “It’s good to see you again, Thomas.”

              “Thanks. Congratulations again,” Thomas said before stepping out of the way so that the receiving line could continue.

              He glanced around for Kara as he walked away. She was near one of the round white tables that had been set up for guests.

              “Did Michelle know you were coming?” she asked when he approached her.

              “No,” he said. “Why?”

              “Because she still has us seated together,” Kara answered dryly. “I guess I should be glad you showed up and I don’t have to eat alone.”

              He pulled the chair out for her as everyone gathered to eat. The meal was awkward and silent but at least she hadn’t stormed off when she saw him or screamed at him and run away. He’d been terrified that he might cause such a scene that he’d ruin Michelle and Hayes wedding day by showing up, but he hadn’t been able to talk himself out of taking the chance. They were both startled by the ‘ting’ of a spoon on a champagne glass. They, and the other guests, turned their attention to the couple.