In Another Life (2 page)

The door beside me opened, and Quinn stuck his head in. “Everything alright here, Eli?”

I sucked in a deep breath and smiled at him. “Yeah, babe. Everything's fine. I'm coming now.”

The door sighed closed and Mike said, “Babe?”

I looked at him, seeing the remnants of the man he'd once been behind the façade of who he was now and nodded. “Yes.” I left the room before I told him it wasn't what he thought. At least it had been, but it wasn't now.

Quinn met me in my office. “Was that him?”

I'd never told Quinn who Mike was. I hadn't really told him much at all. He just knew the kind of mess I'd been after Mike left and no one could call Quinn stupid. “Yes.”

“Do you want me to finish up today?”

I went and hugged him, my forehead on his shoulder, and breathed in the comfort of my best friend. “No. I'll be fine. Just stay with me?”

“Of course.” Quinn's arms tightened around me before gently pushing me back. “Let's get back to work before Jerry comes in and catches us.”

“Too late,” said a dark voice from the doorway.

“I think we've been caught,” I whispered to Quinn and leaned in for a quick kiss.

“Eli, you're pushing your luck,” Jerry said.

I released Quinn and turned to see short, slim Jerry, who owned half the company with Quinn, glowering at me, and laughed. “Number one, you know Quinn doesn't even see anyone but you,” I crossed to Jerry and planted a similar kiss on his lips. “Number two, you love to watch.”

Jerry raised his hand to clip me around the ear but I ducked. “I'm getting back to work. Make sure you don't smell like sex when you join us,” I said. I closed the door on Jerry's growled ‘Eli' and returned to the conference room, a smile still on my face.

Mike scowled at me, but said nothing.

We were halfway through the afternoon session when Brittany interrupted with a message from the hospital. I read it quickly then leaned over to Quinn.

“I have to go. Can you finish up?”

Quinn patted my knee under the table. “Of course. We're mostly done here, anyway. You've done a good job.”

“Thanks,” I stood and spoke to the room generally. “I'm sorry, ladies and gentleman, but I've been called away to an emergency. Mr Watson will continue.” I dropped my hand on Quinn's shoulder as I passed.

I left the room, told Brittany to clear the next week, and went to watch my mother die.

Eight years later

“Jerry has cancer.”

I looked at Quinn as he dropped into the seat in front of my desk, my heart suddenly pounding so hard my throat trembled. “How bad?” Jerry had had trouble peeing and stuff for a few months, always heading to the bathroom and coming back with a pained and frustrated look on his face.

“Apparently we're lucky it's bladder cancer. The success rate is really high.” Trying to put a positive spin on it was costing Quinn.

“But it's still cancer.”

He nodded. “They aren't sure if we've caught it early enough.”

Damn Jerry and his ‘I'm-the-king-of-the-world' attitude. I stood and rounded my desk to kneel beside Quinn, one hand on his knee, the other on his shoulder. Grounding him. “We'll make sure…” I stopped. “I don't know what we'll do, but whatever Jerry needs to do to be healthy again, we'll do it.”

“Quinn.” Jerry stood in the doorway, a scowl on his face. I jumped up and went to him,
pulling him into a hug before he could resist.

“You bloody idiot, Jerry. How could you possibly think you have to do this on your own?”

He pushed me back. “I never said I had to do it on my own.”

“You didn't tell Quinn until after you saw the doctor. You don't want anyone else to know. Fuck that. You're his husband. He has the right to be there with you all the way. And I'm your friend. You and Quinn are going to need me, so just shut up and take it. We can all be scared together, and be as strong as we need to be together to fight this.”

“I'm the one with cancer. I'm the one who has to fight it.”

“That's right, so you need us there with you so you can focus on that and let us worry about everything else.”

“You're as bad as Quinn,” Jerry grumped.

“Is that a pout on the big, bad Jerry McIntyre?”

He flicked my ear with his finger. “I don't pout, pussy.”

Quinn nudged me aside and I stepped back, tears pricking my eyes as I saw the look of love and devotion that passed between my two closest friends. It was selfish of me, but I wanted that too, even though I knew I'd never have it. The last sixteen years had been a series of hook-ups and relationships that never lasted longer than three months. That was my cut-off time. After that, the other guy started thinking it was going to be permanent. Quinn was the only one who recognized I needed a friend more than a lover. He'd absorbed me into his life and kept me in it even after he and Jerry got together.

Jerry tugged Quinn to him and they held each other close. “I'm so sorry, love,” Jerry rumbled into Quinn's chest. “I didn't want you to worry.”

“Eli's right. Sometimes you're an idiot.” Quinn's voice was thick as he drew Jerry even closer and buried his face in his lover's hair.

“That's why I have you,” Jerry said. “You're the smart one.”

“You remember that and we'll get through this just fine.”

The next few months were a blur of keeping the business running, sitting at the hospital as Jerry underwent treatment, while also making sure both Quinn and Jerry ate properly and got enough sleep. My home began to feel like a hotel. I went there to sleep for a few hours, only to get back to it again the next day. My legal counsel status changed dramatically as I took on more and more responsibility for Quinn and Jerry, but my friends were the only things that mattered.

Spring was nearly over before the doctors announced Jerry's cancer was responding to treatment. I left Quinn and Jerry curled around each other on their couch and took a cab downtown with every intention of drinking myself stupid. If I was extremely lucky maybe I'd get laid.

By the time I finished my fifth scotch and beer chaser…I'm sure it was my fifth…or maybe the tenth. It was a neat number like that. Anyway, after that many, getting laid had become a remote possibility. Crying into my beer looked far more likely.

“Come on,” said a voice at my shoulder. “I'll take you home.”

I turned my head — when had it got so heavy? I grinned stupidly at the man beside me. “Your eyes are the same color as Mike's.”

The creases at the corner of the violet-blue eyes deepened. “Is that so?” A hand under my elbow helped me off the stool and I stood, swaying, grinning at the eyes.

“Yep. His crinkled at the edges too.” I leaned closer to look. “But his crinkles never stayed.” I swayed. “Just like him.”

“Come on, Eli.” He tugged me toward the exit.

“No, wait. I can't leave.” I planted my feet and slid, swayed, nearly toppled into him before he held me steady again.

“Why can't you?”

“I don't go home with strangers.”

“That's good to know, but I'm not a stranger.”

I peered myopically at him. “I don't know you anymore.”

“You know enough.” He tugged me again. “I'll get a cab for you.”

“How come you're not a stranger?” I tilted my head up and leaned closer to get a better look. My chin landed on his chest and I breathed deeply. “You're not Mike. He wears Armani.” I rubbed my nose into his shirt. “Pussy.” Strong arms held me tight and shuffled me out of the club. The fresh air, cold after the heated bar, made me dizzy.

“I don't wear Armani anymore.”

“Why not?”

“Armani is for pussies and suck-ups and people who are trying to be something they aren't.”

I giggled. “Yep. That's Mike.” I sighed and burrowed closer. “He wasn't always like that.” I shrugged and stumbled, but the man-that-wasn't-Mike steadied me. “Or maybe he was and I just never noticed.”

“He wasn't always like that,” the man said.

“Jerry's okay, you know.” We stumbled and staggered down the street toward the cab rank.

“Is he?”

“We nearly lost him, but he's okay.” I burrowed my head into the warm chest again. “It sucks, you know, that people like that have to go through that sort of thing and people like I-don't-want-you-anymore-Mike gets to be big-time CEO just like he always wanted.”

“Does that suck?”

“Yep. You…He left me you know. Just walked out one day.”

“Why?”

“Because he was an asshole. The job was more important than us. We knew it would be hard at first but we just had to hang in there, you know, but he didn't. The first time there was a challenge, he walked away.” I burped and then groaned. Burping was never a good sign when I'd been drinking.

“Shit. Don't you vomit on me, you shit.” He tugged me sideways into another bar. “The bathroom's this way. Think you can make it?”

I burped again and slapped my hand over my mouth.

“Fuck. Come on.”

I flew. I know I did. I didn't feel my feet touch the ground but then it wasn't my feet that was churning and burning and billowing up into my mouth as the bathroom door slammed open. Another spasm hit me as the cubicle door opened in front of me and it burst between my fingers and all over the bowl in front of me. I dropped to my knees and let it overtake me.

A faucet turned on behind me then a cool, wet cloth landed on the back of my neck and dribbled water into my collar. It helped. Finally, my stomach stopped heaving but I didn't have the strength to move. I listed to the side, intending to lean against the cubicle
wall for a while.

“Oh no, you don't. You go sideways and no one will be able to move you until you wake up with a hangover.” Arms grabbed me from behind. I groaned as the movement tipped my stomach into somersaults again. I tried to help but my feet wouldn't work the way I kept telling them too.

That's when I knew I was too drunk. “Fuck,” I groaned.

“Yeah.” Another wet cloth rubbed roughly over my face and water ran over my hand, then a shoulder jammed under my ribs and I was upside down. I could do nothing but groan. “Don't vomit down my back or I swear to God I'll dump you on the kerb and leave you there.”

I didn't remember anything else until I landed on a bed. My tie was removed and my shirt unbuttoned. Cool air tickled my toes when my shoes came off and slowed the spinning in my head.

“There's a bucket on the floor beside you. Whatever you do, do not vomit in my bed.”

Darkness engulfed me.

I woke to light stabbing through my eyelids, cold air on my left cheek and a burning furnace under my right. A low buzzing filled the room and my dick vibrated. I pushed away from the furnace only to realize my pillow had been hot. Now cold air bit at my right cheek too and my phone fell out of my pocket, still vibrating and buzzing.

“Answer that will you?” my pillow grumbled.

My eyes shot open, pain stabbed directly into my brain and turned my stomach over at the same time. “Oh, God,” I moaned, clawing at the covers, needing to escape.

“Shit.” A hand pushed my shoulder. “Bucket beside the bed. Roll, damn you.”

I rolled, barely took the time to locate the bucket, and vomited. Beneath me, perfectly aligned and squashed between my dick and the bed, my phone vibrated again. A hand shoved its way underneath my hips. The next stomach spasm lifted me so the fingers barely brushed my cock before grasping my phone and pulling it out.

“Eli will call you back when he's finished throwing up all over my bedroom.”

I hung over the edge of the bed, drool stringing from my mouth to the stinking mess in the bucket. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe shallowly so I didn't go off again.

“You finished for now?” There was barely a pause before the bed rolled and I groaned. “Shut up. You did this to yourself.” I was dragged to the edge of the bed. “Come on, let's get you into the shower.”

The water was cool and after a while I was able to take the painkillers that came with a glass of water. Eventually the spray was turned off and I opened my eyes to see Mike, tall and broad and tanned, dressed in chinos and a polo shirt. “I'll bet you're CEO now.”

“You'd win but only until the end of the month.”

“What happens at the end of the month?”

“I hand the company over to the new CEO and walk away.”

That didn't make sense to me. Mike was only forty, same as me. Selling up and walking away hadn't been in the plans until fifty. Then it hit me and I nearly vomited again.

“Oh God, you're dying.” I looked up at him through the shimmer of tears suddenly streaming from my eyes. All this time, I was waiting to be living in another life, one where we could be together, and it was never going to happen. I struggled to my unsteady feet and lurched at him. “I won't get to keep my promises if you die,” I wailed.

Mike grunted as he landed against the wall under my weight. “What the hell? You're
still drunk, Eli. Come on.” He threw a towel around me and dragged me from the bathroom. “I changed the sheets and emptied your bucket. Get back into bed.”

I crawled across the mattress and fell into a soft clean-smelling pillow.

A loud noise outside woke me and I surged from the mattress, landing on my feet. I stood swaying, staring at the unfamiliar bed in the unfamiliar room. “This isn't my bed.”

“No, it's mine.”

I turned to look at Mike, lounging in the doorway. I struggled to focus on the brilliant hue of his eyes. “Yours?” I turned back to the bed. “Where'd my bed go?”

“I expect your bed is still at your house. Right now you're at my house.”

“Your house?”

“I didn't know where you lived and you weren't in a state to tell me.”