In Over Her Head (14 page)

“Found it, took it, whatever,” she whispers, chucking the banana peel beside the plate.

“Is there a problem here?” Captain Steele bellows as he marches into the galley.

“Nope,” I lie, shrugging.

“Is that … pastry?” the captain asks, looking down with disgust at the plate in front of me.

“Hannah … really?” Piper scolds. “And this close to supper?”

“And I assume, judging by the peel in front of you, that you were somehow able to smuggle a banana on board.”

“It's not mine,” I protest pointlessly.

“Another rule broken, and this close to the end. I'm disappointed, Hannah.” The captain wags his finger. “If you want to succeed in life, you have to think very hard about your decisions, especially your food choices. Look at my Piper here, a dedi­cated athlete who, each and every day, pays
strict
attention to her diet. This is one of the reasons why she excels in every single thing she does. Do you think this kind of success just happens? It doesn't. Piper is the driver of her own life.”

“Really? Is she the driver or are you?” I shockingly find myself barking at the captain. “I mean, she's not even allowed to eat a silly banana, for heaven's sake.”

The captain's eyes grow cold as his face burns red with anger
.

Ooops
… I may have gone too far this time.

“It is a good thing that I am in a particularly good mood today, because my daughter, who, I can assure you, is fully capable of making her own decisions, has discovered a treasure far more important than you could ever understand.”

“Yes, I believe she is very capable of making her own decisions,” I say, glaring back into the captain's livid eyes. “But is she allowed to?”

“Hannah Smart! I've had quite enough! Take that junk you call food sitting in front of you, and go to your room at once.”

“But —”

“And I would suggest you stay in there for the rest of the evening. Massimo will bring you up a proper supper later. Are we clear?”

I look over at Piper, who appears to be in shock herself, and reply, “Yup, we're clear.”

Bathroom Confessions

T
he
press conference is being held in the American Museum of Marine Disasters. The place is filled with priceless artifacts found during shipwreck expeditions spanning hundreds and hundreds of years. A stage, lined with chairs and a podium, is set up at the front. There is a large table off to one side with all of our treasure displayed on lovely, black velvet pedestals. Individual spotlights shine down on each piece making them sparkle and shimmer — the perfect reward after three hundred and fifty years of darkness. Positioned in the middle, sitting on the highest pedestal and under the brightest light, is the most magnificent of them all — Queen Isobel's crown. Dazzling with rubies, emeralds, amethysts, and diamonds, it's absolutely breathtaking!

Okay, focus … you can do this, Hannah. Just think positive … I think I can … I think I can. I think I can let that mean, spiteful girl, who's been plotting against me since day one, take all of the credit for finding Queen Isobel's crown!

When I picture her up there at the podium all smug, bragging about how she
just stumbled upon this priceless treasure
, it just burns me! Like, really ticks me off!

But … I've already decided to let it go, be the bigger person, yada, yada, yada, so I've got to figure out a way to get through the next couple hours.

Obviously, I need to shift my thinking. I have to keep focusing on the fact that Piper's life isn't easy. Actually, it kinda sucks, and mine, it's, well, way better.

A new mantra! That's what I need. I open my phone and Google
mantras for angry people
. The first one I find seems perfect: I am in control of my feelings, and today I choose happiness.

I am in control of my feelings, and today I choose happiness. I am in control of my feelings, and today I choose happiness. I am in control of my feelings, and today I choose happiness. I am in control of my feelings, and today I choose to be really, really, really, really, really ticked off at Piper!

Humph! It's not working, but I can't give up. Something has got to get me through this day. Maybe I should meditate … just shut down my brain.

I head to the ladies' room, which is marked
Mermaids
. I open the door and find that it is empty — awesome!

So, if I remember how to do this right, I take in a nice deep breath and, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmm … aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum mmmmm … aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum mmmmm …”

“Oh my gawd, Hannah!” Piper says, coming out of a stall. “What are you doing? You're
so
weird!”

I am in control of my feelings, and today I choose happiness. I am in control of my feelings …

“Hannah, forget it; no one will believe you.”

“Please just leave me alone,” I bark, and then continue to meditate. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmm …”

“Hannah, you and I both know that you want your crown back! That's why you're here, cornering me in the bathroom.”

“Oh my gosh, Piper! I'm not cornering you in the bathroom; I'm meditating, and for your information, it's not
my
crown. It belongs to the museum … aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum mmmmm …”

“Why do you need so much attention, Hannah? Aren't you famous enough already?”

“Piper, I'm not that famous.”

“Well, you will be when the show airs. You, like, totally took over the
entire show
, and now you want to take credit for the crown, too!”

“I found the crown!” I yell back angrily.
Is she for real?

“Who cares?”

“I care!”

“See, I told you! You're so selfish, Hannah.”

“Me, selfish?”

“Okay, go ahead then. Tell everybody I stole the crown from your poor, pathetic little hands. With your track record, they'd never believe you anyway.”

“My track record?”

“Hannah, you've been lying since the day you got on board.”

“No, I haven't!”

“Well, it really doesn't matter if you have or if you haven't. The point is, everybody
thinks
you're a liar, and that's all that counts.”

“That meeting on the first day when I was late! You switched my memo, didn't you?”

Piper smiles. “You
may
have gotten a different one than everyone else.”

“So, how did you …”

“How did I switch it back?” She laughs. “It was easy. You know they put locks on doors for a reason.”

I am in control of my feelings and today I choose happiness.

“Look, just keep your mouth shut. Otherwise, you'll end up looking stupid. After all, you have zero proof.”

“Whatever, Piper. It's not worth it.”

“Of course it is! The crown is getting international attention! The whole world is watching! Do you know what that means?”

“You'll be famous?” I say, shrugging.

“World famous!”

“So?”

“Don't you want that?”

“No. Not really.”

“Oh, come on, Hannah! Now you're really lying!”

“Maybe someday, but right now, honestly, I just want to be a regular kid.”

“What?” Piper looks dumbfounded. “Why would you want to be regular?”

“Well, why don't you?”

“What, me … be a regular kid?”

“Regular is not that bad.” I smile.

“Regular people aren't special. They're no­­bodies,” Piper hisses.

I shrug. “Piper, I feel sorry for you.”

“Seriously,
you
feel sorry for
me
? That's a laugh and a half.”

“Being regular means being a nobody?” I can't help but shake my head. “And who taught you that … your dad?”

“My dad!” Piper barks. “What does he have to do with anything?”

“Must be tough living up to Captain Steele's high expectations
every second of the day.”

“My dad loves me!” Piper screeches.

“But are you
ever
allowed to have any fun?”

“Yes!”

“Not from what I can see.”

“Well, that's rude, and it's not true!” Piper grabs a Kleenex and dabs the corner of her eye.

“It
is
true, and it was rude of
you
to steal the crown.”

“Girls! Are you in there?” I hear Patrice calling from outside the bathroom.

“Um, yeah … one sec,” Piper calls back sweetly.

“Five minutes!”

“So, we're clear, then,” Piper says, her hand pressing on the door. “You're not going to cause trouble.”

“Well, it's not like I have much choice. Like you said, there's no proof. Plus, it means way more to you than it does to me.”

“Obviously, it must.” She shrugs, pushing open the door. “And you're wrong, you know,” she adds, looking back.

“About what?”

“My life is perfect!” she snarls.

The door closes behind her, and suddenly, from somewhere in the bathroom, I hear a girl's voice.

“Je ne peux pas le croire!”

“Who's there?” I ask.

“Surprise,” Gabby says, frowning as she emerges from the stall.

“Oh my gosh! You're supposed to be in France! I can't believe you're here!” I run over to hug her, but her hateful expression makes me stop in my tracks.

“I can't believe what I've just heard!” she says, angrily pumping soap into her hand. “This isn't the Piper I told you about. The Piper I know would never do this.”

I shrug. “Well, somehow she did.”

She looks up from washing her hands. “Hannah, I don't know what to say …”

“There is nothing to say.”

“Well, I told you she was great, 'cause I really thought she was. Obviously, I was wrong.”

“Gabby, it's fine. Now can you please tell me why you're here?”

“We can talk about that later,” she says, yanking sheet after sheet of paper towel from the dispenser. “Right now, we have to fix this problem once and for all!”

“Gabby, it's over.”

“It can't be over!”

“Trust me; it is. No one saw me with the crown. They were all too busy looking at the shark.”

“The shark!”

“Yeah … I've got so much to tell you! Oh, and you have to meet my friend Henry!”

“Henry?”

“Phillip's nephew from Australia.”

“Is he cute?”

“Um … um … yeah, I guess. If you're into that tanned surfer-dude look.”

“Hannah!” A.J. yells from the other side of the door. “Two minutes!”

“What are you going to do?” Gabby asks, smearing on some lipgloss.