In the Arms of a Soldier (3 page)

“I’m sure you manage just fine,” he said reassuringly.

“Yeah, well, now that you’re back, don’t be surprised if you come home and find me
fast asleep as some ridiculously early hour.  You’ll be headed for a night out, and I’ll be headed to bed.  Hazard of the job,” I joked.

Josh pulled a spatula from the drawer and scooped up fried eggs for each of us, delicately sliding them onto two plates so as not to break the tender yolk.
  He then speared the bacon with a fork and divided the pieces he’d cooked between us.  “You bought new plates,” he commented.

“Yeah, the old ones were from college.  I figured it was time to buy something new.”

He nodded distractedly, turning off the stove as he grabbed utensils for each of us from the drawer.  I carried my coffee mug over to the table, knowing Josh would bring us each our plates.  A vase of fresh daisies sat at the center that one of my coworkers had given to me as a thank-you for covering her shift the other day.  For the briefest flash of a moment I wondered what it would be like to always have Josh in my life—to wake up to breakfast together every morning, to know that every holiday and family event would be spent at his side.  We had spent plenty of breakfasts together, not to mention holidays over the years.  Things were always so easy between us—of course they were, because we’d know each other forever.  Being with him felt as comfortable as being alone, if that made any sense.  It was hard to remember a time when Josh hadn’t been in my life.  I’d never really considered him in a romantic way before, and these sudden moments where I noticed his very male physique now that he was back and the few times I’d caught some emotion passing in the depths of his eyes were leaving me slightly confused.  Had it been so long since I’d been with a man that I was suddenly lusting after Josh?  Or had something between us really changed?

“Go ahead, dig in,” he said, gesturing toward my plate.

I realized that I’d just been staring at my food, lost in thought, and picked up my fork and speared the yolk of my egg, watching the yellow gooiness spread across my plate.  “Thanks for making breakfast,” I said, taking a bite of my food.

“Of course.”  We dug into our food and didn’t speak for the next several minutes, each lost in our own thoughts. 
“You seem different,” Josh said after he’d finished eating.

“I do?
”  I looked up to see him watching me from across the table.  He’d crossed his arms, and his biceps bulged beneath the material of his tee shirt.  A few strands of his short blond hair gleamed with the sunlight beaming in through the window, and his blue eyes were fixed firmly on me.  With his tan and the light of the sun coming in behind him, he looked like some kind of Greek God sitting there in front of me.  It was hard to believe this man was the same boy I’d grown up with, the guy who’d been my best friend for years.  I was literally seeing him in a new light this morning.

“Funny, I was thinking the same thing about you,” I finally responded. 
Sometimes it felt like Josh knew me better than I knew myself, and I wondered if he had any idea of what I’d been thinking.  Was it our time apart that made me see him differently?  Or had I just never wanted to notice it before?

“I guess we all change
,” he said thoughtfully.  He drained the last of his coffee from his mug, and I took a sip of my own, wondering if he was going to elaborate.  “You know what it is—all these years we’ve known each other, and I hardly remember you without a boyfriend.”

“Well that’s not true,” I protested.  “We’ve been friends since we were kids.”

“No, I’m not counting that.  But ever since high school, college, you’ve always had a boyfriend.  Or at least some guy you were chasing after who couldn’t help but fall for you.”

I laughed
, not sure how exactly that could be a problem.  I’d given him plenty of dating advice over the years, so it’s not exactly like he’d been lonely all that time.  “Well, I’ve been single for the past six months.  I haven’t gone on a single date yet since Mike and I broke up.”

“That’s what’s different.  You’re more independent now.”

I met his gaze.  “Well, like you just said, we all change.”

“I like the new you.”

I eyed him carefully, not sure if I should take that as a complement or not.  He’d known the old me a lot longer.

“You look insulted,” he said with a laugh.

I laughed, too, thinking that our conversation was getting a little too serious for first thing Saturday morning.  “Well, you knew the old me for years and never had a problem with her before,” I teased.

“It wasn’t an insult,” he assured me.
  “You’re still the old you, only better.”

I smiled and shook my head in disbelief, thinking he always knew the right thing to say to me.  “So what are you up to your first day back?  Are you going to see your parents
this weekend?”

Josh’s family and mine lived two hours away.  I knew his parents wanted to be at the airport for his return home
yesterday, but his mother was ill, and his father wasn’t able to leave her alone for an extended period of time.  His sister Lindsey was away at college, so he wouldn’t be able to see her anytime soon.  My own family lived just down the street from Josh’s parents.  We’d spent our childhood going back and forth between each other’s houses, and in many ways, his family felt like an extension of my own.

“Yeah, I think I’ll drive down there
later today.  My mom had emailed me about coming for dinner tonight, but we never finalized our plans.  I wanted to make sure she was feeling up to it, so I need to give them a call this morning.”  He stood to clear our plates from the table, and I followed him back into the kitchen to pour myself some more coffee.

“I know they’ll be thrilled to see you.”

“Yeah, my mom started crying on the phone when I called her from the airport yesterday just to say I’d made it back.  It’ll be great to see them.  You should come along, too.”  He glanced over at me, pausing from loading the dishes into the dishwasher.

“That’d be fun.  Are you sure?  I know you haven’t seen them for six months, so I totally unders
tand if you want to go alone.”

Josh and I had frequently driven back home together over the years to see our families.  In college he’d given me rides when I didn’t have a car, and eve
n after we’d graduated we’d often head back together for a quick trip home.  That was another thing that had irritated Mike—my weekend trips home with Josh.  Even though we were each visiting our own parents, staying in separate homes, he complained about our “weekends away” together.  Mike had come home with me plenty of times over the years, but as our schedules became more hectic once we graduated from medical school, it became more difficult to coordinate all of our weekends.  Yet another reason our relationship was destined to fail, I thought wryly.

“Absolutely,” Josh insisted.  “
It’d be kind of weird going home without you.”

“True,” I said with a laugh.
  “If you’re not going until later, I think I’ll go jogging this morning.  I’m guessing you probably need to unpack.”

“Yeah, I’ve got a to-do list a mile long.  Unpacking and laundry is right at the top.  I’ll go jogging with you later in the week though.  Now that I’m back, you’re stuck with me.”

“It kind of seems like I’ve always been stuck with you,” I joked.

“Very funny.”

“All right, I’m gonna go change.  I’ll catch up with you later,” I said, turning to walk away.

“
Yeah, have fun.”

I glanced back over my shoulder. 
“I’m going to convince you to like jogging someday!”

*
**

“Are you ready yet?” Josh called out to me as
I ran a brush through my hair.  He poked his head in the doorway just as I was putting on my diamond stud earrings.  I caught his eye in the reflection of the mirror above my dresser.

“
Just about.  Look at you all fancy.”  Josh had changed into khaki pants and a blue shirt that set off the color of his eyes.  Since he’d been home I’d only seen him in his fatigues and jeans.  Well, then of course there’d been breakfast in his boxers this morning.  But I was trying to do my best to put that incident out of my mind.  I’d changed into dark skinny jeans, brown riding boots, and a silky burgundy blouse.  Even though this was Josh’s welcome home dinner, his parents had invited mine over as well since I was coming along.  We’d spend the afternoon and evening at Josh’s parents’ house, enjoy a nice dinner together, and then head back into the city late tonight.  I’d just seen my own parents a couple of weeks ago, when they’d come up for a visit, but it would be nice to see them again today.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, Jess,” he said with a grin.  “So are you going to let me drive or what?”

Josh had sold his car just before he deployed.  Since we lived in the city, a car wasn’t a necessity for day-to-day life.  His old car had needed some repairs, so he thought it would be easier to just sell it before he left since he wanted a new ride anyway.  That didn’t mean that he relished the idea of me driving him around in the meantime.  I wondered if he’d planned to convince me to let him borrow my car if I hadn’t agreed to come along tonight.  I turned to grab my purse from the bed and raised my eyebrows in his direction.  “Don’t look
so bad
?”

“I meant you look great.  Just like always,”
he added, holding his hand out for the keys.

“I suppose I’ll let you drive tonight,” I said, dropping my keys into his open palm.  “But only because you’ve been gone for the past six months.  Don’t expect this kind of treatment every day.”

“Of course not,” he agreed, bending down to give me a quick peck on the cheek.  “Did I mention again how nice you look?”

“Very funny.”  I glanced down at my watch.  “We better get going or the
y’ll wonder what happened to us.”

“Ladies first,” he said, gesturing for me to go ahead.

“Always the gentleman,” I teased, walking out the door to my bedroom with Josh close behind.  He bumped into me as I paused a moment to turn out the light, and I felt an unexpected surge of warmth shoot through me at his touch.  Not that something was ever going to happen between us in this lifetime.  Despite my newfound interest in him, I was fairly certain that Josh would always see me as his childhood friend and nothing more.

“That was crazy, right?” I asked later that night as we zipped up the highway back toward the city.  Josh was really laying the pe
dal to the metal, and I knew we’d be home by midnight, making the normally two-hour drive in ninety minutes or less.  Luckily there were no cops around or we’d be getting a speeding ticket for sure.  “We obviously shouldn’t let our moms be in the same room together again.  Ever.”

“Oh, they were just happy to see us,” Josh protested.

My parents had already been there when we arrived at Josh’s parents’ house earlier that evening.  Josh’s mom had burst into tears the moment we’d walked in.  I expected a reaction like that from her—it was perfectly reasonable to worry about your son who’d been deployed for six months to a war zone.  My own mom, however, had suddenly teared-up as well at the two of us standing in the doorway together and had pulled me into a tight embrace before I could even walk into the room.  I knew they worried about Josh almost as if he were their own son.  But I hadn’t expected my own mom to cry just at the sight of me.  Or us.  Or whatever had set the waterworks flowing.  At any rate, after a teary reunion, we’d all had a nice dinner and relaxing evening together.  Josh’s mom had gone to bed early because she needed her rest, but Josh and I stuck around and chatted for another hour or two with his dad and my own parents.  We’d finally convinced them that we should get going since we’d had a busy day and Josh was still jet-lagged.

“Yeah, I know
they were happy,” I agreed, glancing over at Josh’s profile in the darkness.  “It was just a little unexpected.”

He yawned.  “At least we’
re almost back.  I’m beat.”

We finished crossing over the bridge back into the city, and Josh turned down one of the main streets heading back toward our apartment building.  Despite this never, ever happening
when I was the one driving, a car pulled out of a space right on our block as Josh turned down the side street.  Josh pulled alongside the car parked in front of the empty space and then expertly backed into the parking spot.

“You have all the luck,” I grumbled.  “I always drive around for fifteen minutes trying to find parking.”

“Maybe you should drive faster,” he said, glancing over at me with a grin.

“That’s completely illogical.”

“If you’d been driving, the space would’ve been taken because we wouldn’t get here for another half an hour.”

“Whatever,” I said, climbing out of the car an
d shutting the door behind me.  I was tired and not really in the mood to argue, even though I knew Josh was just joking around.

Josh quickly got out and was around the car and by my side in no time with his long stride.  “
I’m just saying it pays to be in a hurry sometimes.  Anyway, here you go,” he said, dropping my keys back into my hand.