In the Arms of Mr. Darcy (54 page)

"You said your heart stirs. Does it stir in the ways of a woman toward a man she loves?"

She stared at him silently for a long while, face pale and eyes slightly wild. Her voice, when she spoke, was hushed to nearly inaudible levels. "Yes. Perhaps. I think so... Oh, Richard! How can this be, between us?"

"It is not so unusual, Georgiana. We have always been close, with a strong bond. This foundation supports a richer emotion. It has taken some time, but I finally grew up in the area of women and love, and am desirous of a committed relationship. And you, my beautiful, dear Georgiana, have matured and flourished right before my eyes."

She sighed. "As much as I appreciate your recognition of my maturity, and as much as I pridefully want to avow it, the truth is that I am yet young and somewhat sheltered despite the eye-opening events of the past two years." She laughed and nodded toward the Master of Pemberley's bedchamber. "Or perhaps it is because of all that has been thrust upon me so radically that I hesitate now. Romance runs amok hereabouts, and it is difficult not to be influenced by it. But, more importantly, I worry for you, my dear friend."

"I know my heart, Georgiana," he stated firmly.

"Are you so sure of that, Richard? Completely? You have been wounded so profoundly by Lady Fotherby. How can your heart honestly be ready to move on so swiftly?"

"I am resilient."

She blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"Just something Darcy said," he shrugged, smiling weakly.

"Resilient you may be, but you are not fickle. I see the haunting in your eyes at unguarded times. I note how your jaw clenches when the London newspapers are delivered. I know your reluctance to leave Pemberley is partly due to the memories that will assault you in Town and the fear you have of meeting her. I know your heart is not free of her."

"I will not deny any of this, Georgie. My sentiments toward Lady Fotherby were real, and I am not completely past it. But do you not see?" He suddenly crossed the gap between them, taking her hands in his strong ones. "I am not an inconstant man! Love ambushed me to be sure, but I plunged in full force, no faltering. I am not afraid to admit the truth when it is thrust in front of me. I am a man of action, a soldier undaunted by any challenge or situation. And I see it through to the end with total commitment. But in the case of Lady Fotherby, it was not meant to be apparently. Now, it is as if history has repeated itself with you! I am equally startled by the unexpected evolution of my love for you, but I am not afraid or unsure!"

"But I am," she whispered.

"Of what are you afraid, dearest?"

She inhaled, moving to sit on the nearby bench. "I am afraid what we are experiencing is two people drawn by mutual concern, comfort, familiarity, need." She waved her hand vaguely. "And maybe that is enough. I know it is more than some couples ever have. Not all are like my brother and Lizzy, who share a bond of love that is monumental and passionate. Not everyone requires that sort of marriage. But one should not settle."

"We would not be settling, Georgiana. I am positive of that!"

"But you cannot declare that you feel such passion for me. As you did for Simone?"

She looked up at him. He stood tall and firm, face resolute, but he did not readily respond or counter. There was a lingering sadness in the drawn corners of his reddened eyes and the droop in the bend of his lips and the faint grey lines on his cheeks. A wash of intense love and protection deluged her soul. For the first time in her short adult life with any man, even in these past weeks of observing him and trying desperately to make sense of her emotions, she felt an incredible urge to kiss that mouth. To take away his pain and taste of his love. It overwhelmed her, the force of it; but finally it was clear.

She smiled, patting the space beside her. Richard sat, eyes never leaving hers as she took his hands and squeezed firmly.

"I do love you, Richard. I always have and I always will. I am still somewhat confused as to the whole nature of my love for you, but it is immutable, of that I am certain. Furthermore, I am absolutely convinced that this is true of you for me."

"Oh, Georgie!" Tears were welling in his eyes, and she reached to brush a spilled drop away.

"I promise that I will be here for you, waiting. But I want you to leave tomorrow. Go back to London and your regiment. Confront the demons there. You need the time, whether you deem it so or not. You asked for hope, dearest Richard, and I am giving it to you. All I ask in return is that you heal fully, be utterly convinced your heart is all mine before you offer it to me again. You owe this to yourself as well as to me. Can you do this?"

He nodded, too overcome to speak.

"Whatever happens, nothing will alter the bond we have, Cousin. Nothing! All I want is your happiness. If that is me, then we will be marvelous together, I am sure of it. But if not"--she shook her head, reaching to gently cup his face--"I will rejoice in seeing a sincere smile upon your face once again."

She nestled into his chest, Richard embracing fiercely but tenderly. "I love you, Georgiana Darcy."

"And I love you, Richard Fitzwilliam."

***

Lizzy stood by the window embrasure in their sitting room, staring down onto the muddy drive that not too many hours earlier Colonel Fitzwilliam had ridden south on for his return to London. The door opened behind her, closing with a secure thud, but she did not turn around. Of course it was not necessary, the entrant obvious even if she had not felt his presence and smelt his cologne.

"Alexander is soundly asleep. It took two storybooks to accomplish the task this time. I am beginning to believe reading from picture books is not conducive to influencing somnolence since he insists on pointing to each item until the name is given, often babbling on as he apparently creates his own tale." He stroked over her arms, kissing the top of her head before enfolding in a tight embrace.

"Thank you for attending to him, dearest. I was otherwise engaged."

"Indeed. I thought Georgiana would keep you prisoner all day. Are you going to share with me what is disturbing her? Or is it a female issue that I would rather not be privy to?"

Lizzy laughed, turning to bestow a brief kiss and then grasping his hand and tugging toward the sofa. "It is a female issue, yes, but not of the sort that will make you blush and squirm. Sit and I will remove your boots."

He did, with a loud groan and heavy sigh, eyes closing as his head fell back onto the cushions. "I am exhausted. We had far fewer visitors this year, but the drama swirling about was draining. I thought Richard was doing better, but last night he was clearly agitated. I guess the idea of returning to London was regressing. I tried to get him to talk, but he was unusually taciturn. I feel for him." His voice dropped, eyes opening a slit to look upon his wife where she sat on the ottoman with his feet on her lap, massaging with firm fingers over his soles and calves. "I know it is horrible, but his situation brings up memories that I wish to forget and I confess I am somewhat gladdened to have him gone." Lizzy smiled softly, squeezing his ankles in empathetic understanding. "Mostly though, I am simply torn with grief for him. He is a hardy soul, but I know he is in pain."

"I would not fret too much about Richard. I have it on good authority that he is learning to deal with his broken heart admirably."

He frowned. "What do you mean by that?"

Despite the seriousness of her information, and the honest uncertainty of how he would react, Lizzy could not help but laugh and shake her head. "Fitzwilliam Darcy, you are the most intelligent man I know, and uncannily astute in most matters, but when it comes to interpersonal relationships you are strangely insensate!"

His frown deepened into a faint offended sulk, but he did not argue the assertion. He still did not know what she meant, but before he could inquire for illumination she gave a final sharp stroke to the arch of each foot, causing him to release a throaty moan of pleasure and close his eyes.

"So, do you want me to share what is plaguing Georgiana?" She planted his feet comfortably on the ottoman and moved to sit beside him.

He laced her fingers with his, not opening his eyes. "Please. The conundrum of Colonel Fitzwilliam is out of my hands now, but I may be able to ease my sister's burdens."

"I hate to disappoint you, but the two are intertwined." He glanced at her then, brow arching. Lizzy bit her lip and squeezed the hand lying on his thigh. "William, I do not know how to say this in such a way that might ease your surprise, so I will simply blurt it out. Just try to be calm so we can discuss it." His frown had deepened even further. She swallowed and inhaled. "Richard has declared to Georgiana sentiments of love and wishes for a permanent arrangement with her. Georgiana is yet a bit confused, but I believe her feelings have grown as well and she is not averse to the idea. Nothing was decided definitively, as they both need time, and I am sure Richard would speak to you before asking Georgie to marry him, but it is heading that way."

Of all the reactions she may have anticipated, him merely laying his head back against the cushions, staring up toward the ceiling and face impassive was not one of them. Her voice trailed off, not knowing what to say in light of his odd stoicism. Silence fell for several heartbeats, neither saying a word.

"Georgiana and Richard," he broke the quiet with a muted tone. "Yes, it is all clear now. You are correct, dearest. Completely insensate. I interpreted his agitation as grief over Lady Fotherby, which I largely think is true, and Georgie I thought was just upset about his pain, also largely true. They have always gotten on so well, loved each other sincerely, that the concept of it maturing into something more never occurred to me."

"You... do not seem upset." It was a question as much as a statement, Darcy smiling and turning his head to look at her.

"No, I am not upset. Surprised, indeed so, but it is not a horrible development. I always imagined Georgiana marrying someone with an estate at least equal to Pemberley, perhaps even a title to go with it. I desire the best for my sister, wealth and security being essential; insist on it actually. But love cannot be tossed aside as inconsequential. And Richard is a quality man, as I know. Honestly, I suppose I would not have preferred to see my sister wed a military man of modest inheritance, but they do not come any better than Colonel Fitzwilliam. You say she is confused? How so?"

"She is young yet and the evolution of her emotions, and Richard's toward her, have happened so abruptly. And under distressing circumstances..."

"Yes," he interrupted. "That concerns me as well. Richard can be impulsive and his heart is wounded, no matter how much he wishes to thrust it aside. Falling in love with Georgiana is not shocking at all, as she is beautiful and perfect in every way, but I do not want to see her hurt by someone who is, however unwittingly, seeking to assuage his own pain. I am glad he left without pushing for an engagement."

"Georgie insisted he return to London and face the past."

"Did she?" He chuckled. "Very wise, my baby sister." He began to laugh louder, shaking his head in resignation. "Yes, I am truly the blind fool in this little drama. All the oblique glances, intimate conversations, and blushes are now flashing through my mind with clarity. Just a couple of days ago Richard was talking about finding love elsewhere, the desire for family and a home of his own, and moving on with his life past the disappointments. He practically nailed me to the wall in declaring his worthiness as husband material! He could have asked permission to court Georgiana right then and it would have been impossible for me to disallow it! Quite crafty, that cousin of mine."

"I doubt if he was purposely attempting to coax you, as I think, from what Georgie says, that he is wise enough to recognize the need for distance and perspective. He would never do anything to cause Georgiana pain."

"No, there is no question of that."

She nestled closer to his side, his arm instantly encircling. "It appeals to you then? The idea of the two of them wed?"

He sighed, nodding slowly. "It will take some getting used to, I confess. An adjustment to my thinking on numerous levels. Her happiness is the prime objective so I would need to know for certain that this is what her heart desires above all else. I am adamant that they not rush, and I will assuredly torture Richard a bit over it. Part of the fun, you see!" He was grinning, his eyes distant. Giggles erupted from Lizzy, Darcy glancing to her amused face. "Yes, Mrs. Darcy? You are entertained?"

"I was recalling a man who raged and stormed when his sister off-handedly mentioned a Lord Gruffudd once upon a time."

"She was only seventeen at that time, may I remind you, and beyond my reach. This scenario is entirely different." He reached to cup her cheek, fingers brushing tenderly. "It is vital that Georgie find the happiness due her, as I have. I want to see Richard content and settled as well, but not at the expense of my sister. I am not taking this lightly, I can assure you. We must all be cautious. And patient."

He leaned in to kiss her, moving slowly and sensuously over her lips. "Now, let us put aside the unsolvable puzzle of lovesick relatives for the moment. If memory serves, we have two special days to celebrate soon."

"We do."

"Alexander's birthday will be a family affair with his own cake being created by Mrs. Langton, that an extravagance if you ask me, but since no one did, I shall remain mute on the subject. But for you, Mrs. Darcy, I have decided that our first anniversary was abbreviated and not the glorious celebration I anticipated. Thus we must doubly lionize this anniversary. Two years of bliss with the most beautiful woman alive."