In the Dark (23 page)

“Sorry,”
she said. “I was just about to when you opened the door. Where
you been all day?”

Of course. The
doorbell that kept waking me up.

“Out,”
I lied.

“You’re
uptight,” Amanda said, tossing vibrant purple bangs out of her
eyes.

You have no
idea,
I thought, and stayed silent.

She looked away,
shrugged and crossed her arms. “Sorry.” She glanced back
at me. “I came as soon as Mom told me. I figured you could use
some family about now. Family that won’t harass you.”

If I could have
blushed, I would have. She came all the way from Eugene for me, and I
was all uptight and freaked out. I sighed. “Yeah.”

“Where you
going?” she asked, taking a step closer. “Mind if I tag
along?”

Yeah, tag along
to Sebastian’s place. Great idea.

“An
appointment,” I said. “And actually, it’d be better
if you didn’t.”

Amanda raised
her eyebrows at me. “Appointment? Jen, it’s after seven.
What appointment?”

“Ian,”
I corrected.

“Sorry.
Ian. Mom hates that, you know.”

“Mom hates
your hair, too,” I flashed back. Her eyes sparked. I forced
myself to relax.“My name’s Ian. I never liked Jennifer,
and it’s legally Ian, on my license, on my mail, and on my
goddamn underwear. All right?”

“Yeah,
fine, shit.” She looked me up and down. “This is really
hitting you hard, isn’t it?”

I withered.
“This.” Kent. I looked away, trying to hold back bloody
tears.

“I’m
sorry, Ian.” Amanda took the last couple of steps between us
and hugged me. I let her, holding her loosely with one arm. If I
hugged her more, I would burst into tears.

“Yeah,”
I managed. “Thanks.” She squeezed me harder.

With a low and
dirty feeling, I realized now was the time to insist on making my
“appointment.”

“Look,
Amanda,” I murmured into her purple hair, “I really need
to keep this appointment. Why don’t you rattle around the
house, maybe grab a bite to eat around the corner, and I’ll be
back?”

She sighed warm
breath onto my neck. “If you really need to . . .”

“I do.
It’ll just be a couple hours, okay? I’m sorry.”

She let go of me
and stepped back. “Hey, don’t apologize to me, huh? I
came out to make sure you’re okay. I’ll be here when you
get back.”

But she looked
away uncomfortably, sorry to see me leave just as she arrived. I
wanted to tell her I was glad she came. How much I needed someone
right now. But I couldn’t. Of course.

Why not?
She’s my
sister.
What would she do to me if she knew?

My mouth
twitched into a small frown. After all, Josephine had Emily and Evan.
There had to be humans that knew.

I opened my
mouth to say something, tell her we needed to talk. Hesitated,
searching for the right words, and felt my nerve vanish.

Amanda cocked
her head at me, waiting for what I had to say.

“I’ll
try to hurry,” I said.

She frowned and
bobbed a nod. “Sure.”

To make up for
it, I gave her another quick hug before I ran down the stairs and
left.

Kent wouldn’t
have told me again and again to stay hidden for no reason. There had
to be something to it.

Yeah, like
Emily. If she hadn’t known about us, she might still be alive.

My shoulders
clenched. There had to be a reason other than that. Ignorance
wouldn’t have kept Emily safe – not forever. Maybe it was
better she had known the truth, instead of dying with a stranger’s
fangs buried in her neck, with no answers, not even sure if it was
real . . .

I shuddered.

Stop it.

Okay, think of
Amanda. What to tell her. Or not.

Kent never had
anyone mortal – acquaintances, collaborators, sure, like his
band, but they didn’t know what he really was, and he didn’t
let people closer than that. My sister, though. That had to be
different. Kent’s drill-sergeant routine just had me paranoid.
I could still see him pacing, ticking rules off on his fingers.

“
First
rule, never reveal yourself. Second, never terrify or kill when you
feed. Third, let other vampires have their space. Fifth – wait,
am I on fifth or fourth?” He paused to remember while I giggled
at him, then shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Never
reveal yourself, never scare anyone, never bug another vampire, and
–”

“
Never
go to a tanning salon!” I piped up.

He faked a
cringe. “That’s not even funny anymore, Ian,” he
said, smiling. “If you ever tell that one to another vampire,
I’ll disown you.”

Even joking
around hadn’t kept him from repeating that rule. I couldn’t
just forget about it. I resolved to ask Sebastian. If he couldn’t
give me a better reason than what I’d come up with, I’d
talk to Amanda about the truth. “
Hey, Sis, I’m a
walking corpse, and Kent was two hundred years old or so when I met
him. What’s new with you?”

Okay.
Maybe
I’d talk to Amanda.

Why did my life
need to get complicated all at once, anyway? One of these at a time
would be tough to deal with. Biting at my lip again, I got on a busy
street and flagged a cab. I told the driver to take me to the
Pike-Pine corridor and slumped back in the seat.

F
eeding
improved my mood some, but by the time I stepped off Sebastian’s
elevator that improvement had soured. Being fed meant I didn’t
have my hunger to distract me, leaving my mind to focus on other
troubles.

Like what to say
to Amanda. Kent and Emily being gone. And this apartment, where I had
lived with that loss for the last few days. Where I had watched
Sebastian drink someone dry so they couldn’t get up and kill
me.

I could still
hear him swallowing.

“Hello,
Ian,” Sebastian said. He stood waiting in the living room, arms
crossed, dressed to run me around. Loose pants, no shirt, barefoot,
long hair tied back. His torso had the tight, defined musculature I
had expected from someone who’d spent centuries on his fighting
skills. If it hadn’t been Sebastian standing there dressed like
that, I might have started drooling.

“Hi. How’s
it going?” I suddenly wondered what he’d done with the
body. My stomach lurched. I decided I didn’t want to know.

He seemed to
hesitate a moment, his eyes deepening thoughtfully. “Fine. And
you?”

“Good. My
sister came in from Oregon today. She heard about Kent.” He
stayed quiet. I fidgeted, then plowed on. “I need some advice.”

“If I can
offer any, I shall.”

I spread my
hands. “What should I tell her? She doesn’t know anything
about us and she wants to stay for a while. I left ten seconds after
she got here and I think I avoided six subjects in that time.”

Sebastian raised
an eyebrow. “I don’t know what to tell you. I do know
that the burning times thinned our numbers drastically, until hiding
our nature became the only way we might survive. Some believe such a
threat still exists. The pack believes in controlling the humans so
that such a thing cannot happen again. I am less sure of either
stance. I know there are those among us who keep some few humans
close to them, but I have never kept mortal pets.”

Before I could
open my mouth to ask what he meant, I got it. Right between the eyes.

“Pet?”
I stared at him, checking his eyes for the joke. They stayed utterly
flat. “Pet!” I repeated. “She’s my sister,
not my damn pet! What do you mean, pet?”

“I have
not had siblings for a long time. I have, however, known several
vampires who kept human . . . companions. Please excuse my choice of
words.”

He seemed
sincere enough, like he honestly didn’t want to offend but
didn’t know how else to put it. I backed down, still unhappy.
Pets. Human beings, kept around because they were cute and
affectionate.

My eyes went
wide. “You mean Josephine, don’t you? Emily and Evan.”

He shrugged.

“Pets,”
I repeated. “They were pets to her.”

“I do not
know how she viewed them. She may or may not have seen them as such.”
He was unmoved, waiting for me to digest this so we could get on with
it.

Emily. A pet. I
didn’t know Josephine well, she might not have seen them that
way. I hoped not. I gulped at the lump that suddenly thickened my
throat – at the memory of Emily holding me while I cried.

“Well,”
I said to the floor, “whatever, Amanda is not my pet. She’s
my sister.”

Sebastian
shrugged.

I crossed my
arms and glared at the floor.
Whatever you want, little vampire, I
won’t call your pet that to your face if it bothers you. Hmph.

“Josephine
told Evan and Emily the truth, though, right?” I asked out
loud. Sebastian shrugged yet again. I kept glaring at the floor.
“Well, all right. I’ll talk to my sister about this
vampire business, then. Thanks, Sebastian."

His eyes
flickered humor at my tone. “I’m glad to have helped.
Shall we get started?”

I glared at a
wall, then sighed. He’d apologized for the term. He probably
hadn’t ever heard a different word from other vampires. And
he’d still helped me figure out my problem, even if it upset
me. “Yeah, let’s get going. Where do we start?”

“This
way.” He padded out of the living room like a huge cat. I
shivered, thinking of watching him cut down the shape-changer. Of his
face while he did it.

He led me down
the hall. I followed, dragging my feet. Tried not to shudder when we
passed the library. I pretended to ignore it and noticed it like a
splinter. The doors were propped into place, still cracked where
they’d come off the hinges.

Crack! went
the doors. Crack! into my broken nose . . .

Sebastian took
me to that dojo-esque room I’d only been in once before.
Balance beams, suspended bars, soft mats – swords, knives,
staffs and assorted weapons on the walls. This was the room I would
rather have run to the other night.

Yeah, like I
know how to use any of this stuff. Like I would have if I’d had
the chance.

I followed him
in, hands shoved in my pockets. Nudged the door shut with my foot.
Sebastian’s muscled back rippled as he walked, towards the wall
and the swords. If I turned my head, I could see him walking in the
mirrors that covered one wall. He went to the racks and ran a finger
over one of the blades. I shifted my weight, thinking about the sound
that kind of metal made when it hit someone.

Shing.

Sebastian’s
eyes went thoughtful, examining the swords. “No, I think we’ll
start with hand-to-hand. Self-defense.” He glanced at me.
“Unless you’re interested in learning swordplay?”

“No
thanks,” I said.

His eyes
sparkled humor.

“I am
going to teach you the way I learned. Or rather, in a similar way.”
He seemed to find that funny. I half-smiled, but I knew I missed the
joke. “Take off your shoes, please,” he said. “They
might damage the padding.”

I nodded and
bent to undo them. My fingers trembled. I managed to get my laces
undone, pulled my boots off and tossed them aside.

“All
right.” Sebastian struck a pose that reminded me of Jackie
Chan. “Let me see what you know.”

I waited for him
to tell me what he wanted, but he vanished – poof. In one
blurred movement that I could barely follow, he was in front of me,
hand flat against my nose. I scrambled back, but I knew what had
happened. He’d scored a “hit” on me before I’d
even seen him try.

“Shit!”
It came out breathless.

“Slow,”
he commented.

“Shit!”
I said again. “Shit, what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t
even see you!”

He nodded. “If
you wish to avoid me, you will learn to see me. Now. Hit me.”

It sounded
ridiculous. But I knew he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t
believe it. I nodded and stood straight. I braced myself and watched
him close –

–
keep
your eye on the vampire –

I took a step
forward and he blurred again. My hand came up to hit, but Sebastian
was to the left of it. I staggered, expecting to connect with a solid
body and finding only air. A hand on my back finished my stagger. I
hit the floor with a thud that cracked my teeth together.

“Dammit!”
I rolled onto my back and glared up at him. “Why did you push
me?”

“Why did
you let yourself fall?” he asked.

“I don’t
know how to do any of this!” I smacked the floor. “You
move so fast I can’t even see you! I know some basic, human
self-defense, not supernatural judo!”

He offered me a
hand. I stared at it dubiously. He flexed his fingers, asking me to
take it. I did, and was pulled to my feet.

“Let me
show you,” he said.

S
he
had a fluid grace about her that Sebastian knew she would be able to
use once she learned to tap it. Not exceptional, but better than many
beginners he had seen. He tried to ease up on her, knowing Specter’s
methods would only infuriate. If she were infuriated, she would
refuse to receive more training. It would waste both their time if
she quit before she finished.

He showed her a
simple block, made her repeat it several times, then nodded. “Good.
Use that when I reach for you.”

She nodded and
readied herself, not totally balanced, but not badly for her
inexperience. He rushed her and evaded her block with no real effort.
Her eyes widened.

“A good
try,” he acknowledged. “But vampires are more advanced
predators than humans.” He shot his hand toward her face. She
tried to use the block to swipe it away, but he was faster. He caught
her under the chin with one hand, holding his arm out stiff. She
brought both hands down sharply on the inside of his elbow. Had it
been sharp enough, it would have caused his arm to fold and release
her. Her strength, however, was still on a mortal level.