In the Dark (39 page)

“Then you
will learn.”

“Move
along,” the mortal urged. Sebastian nodded once, leaned on Ian,
and moved them down the street.

“
W
hat
happened?”

Josephine’s
anxious voice managed to pull me out of the stupor I’d fallen
into – funny how I didn’t know I was in a stupor until I
came out of it. I’d been handling everything calmly while
another part of me slipped away and went numb. Sebastian had an arm
slung over my shoulder, using me as a crutch because his leg was a
complete mess.

“I was
shot.” Sebastian let Josephine take over my job as crutch.

“I can see
that,” she said. “By who? How? Why?”

We got off the
elevator, Sebastian hopping alongside Josephine. Amanda stared. She’d
come back out of her room only to have this sight walk in on her.
Sebastian was eaten up from head to toe, smattered in his own blood.
Josephine eased him down onto one of the chairs while he gritted his
teeth and hissed in pain. I winced.

“Specter
ambushed me,” he said, relaxing cautiously. “He issued
challenge and turned this on me when I accepted. An assault rifle, I
think.”

“Holy
shit,” Amanda whispered.

“Hello,
Amanda,” Sebastian said back. He looked back up at Josephine.
“Several bullets are lodged inside.”

She nodded
grimly. I glanced between them, wondering what he meant.

“Ian, will
you get me the things from Sebastian’s dresser?”
Josephine asked.

I shuddered.
That
was what he meant.

“What are
you –” Amanda started, then trailed off. Like she’d
changed her mind about asking.

I went to get
the stuff. Before I could think about it too hard.

I knew where to
find Sebastian’s room – all too well. I had to fight a
guilty cringe as I found his door and let myself in. The things on
the dresser were right where I’d seen them last. Scalpel,
forceps, needle, thread. Was that normal stuff for vampires to have?

Don’t
think about it.

I took the tray
and headed for the door. I didn’t get far. Josephine came down
the hall, half-leading, half-carrying Sebastian, his coat and shirt
stripped off. Red blossoms exploded all over him, mostly across his
chest, all of them with a dark, gaping center. Some were tiny, others
huge. I gasped.

“I thought
it would be easier in here,” Josephine said. “That way he
can lie down and Amanda doesn’t have to watch.”

I nodded,
grateful for Amanda’s sake, shocked to see Sebastian like that.
I stood back to let them past, cringing as Sebastian limped by me.
Josephine spread him out on his bed, face up. He let out a sigh that
made me ache.

“Can I
have those please, Ian?” Josephine asked. Sebastian had shut
his eyes. His jaw was tight.

Wordless, I
handed Josephine the tray. She took it without looking up and went to
the side of the bed. When she picked up a forceps and bent over him,
I left.

On the other
side of the door I paused, wondering what would have happened if
Josephine hadn’t been here. If Sebastian had asked me to help
him.

My face pinched
up.

That’s
not how it happened. I don’t have to worry about it.

Amanda was my
concern. She had to be ravenous by now. I had been before I had a
chance to eat, and she’d had to wait here for me. I stopped in
my room to change shirts; the one I’d had on had a bloody
impression of an arm across the shoulders. I kicked the bloody one
under the bed with the other clothes I didn’t ever want to see
again.

Amanda was
wandering back toward the bedroom when I came out into the hall, her
face a mix of horror and curiosity.

“They
don’t need our help,” I said, setting a hand on her arm
to turn her around.

Amanda gave me a
worried look over her shoulder.

“He’ll
be fine,” I said vaguely. I had suddenly remembered Alec. I
could have used his help getting Sebastian out of there. He was so
concerned about warning me about Specter, but he couldn’t stick
around and be useful when I needed him, oh, no. Bastard. I hadn’t
liked him before. Now I started to hate him.

I followed
Amanda out into the living room, chewing my lip. She dropped down on
the couch. Her eyes had misted over with red. I looked at her,
surprised at first, then felt like an idiot. Of course she was upset.
She only saw Sebastian for a second but in his shape, one second was
enough to give anyone nightmares.

I stared at the
floor while she watched her hands. I really wanted to say something
that would make her feel better. Couldn’t think of anything.

Amanda shook her
head. “That was awful. That’s all I keep coming back to,
when I try to say anything. That’s just awful.” She
opened her mouth to keep talking, shut it again. I knew what was
going through her head. It had been going through mine for the past
several days.

I’m so
out of my league.

“I’m
sorry,” I said, shoulders hunched.

She looked at
me. “Sorry?”

I hunched my
shoulders a little more. “For getting you into this . . . for
turning you without asking. For everything.”

She shook her
head. “I’m fine. You don’t need to apologize.”

“Amanda .
. . Are you sure you don’t want to talk? At all? I mean, you
died
the –”

“I know
what happened, Jen!” she said, so sharply that I jumped. She
looked away while I stared at her.

“Let’s
talk about this later,” she said in a tired voice. “Please.”

“All
right,” I said, more worried now.

She stared down
the hall, shifting uneasily.

I watched her
for a minute, then sighed. “Hungry?”

She gave me a
look, part disgust and part relief. “Starving. But after that .
. .” she waved a hand towards Sebastian’s room.

I sat down
beside her. “You still need to eat. If you really don’t
want to I understand, but you should try.”

She nodded,
looking at her hands. “I guess.”

I put my wrist
to my mouth, finding the little daggers there and slashing myself
open with them.

Something in the
bedroom crashed. We both jumped. I wanted to get up and see what had
happened, and I wanted to sit right here and not find out.

When no more
noise came, I decided to assume everything was all right. Not that I
could offer a lot of help anyway. I’d retch my guts out before
Josephine could pull one bullet out. I would do the most good staying
the hell out of the way.

I let out a
breath I didn’t know I’d taken. Amanda did the same.

“Here,”
I said, to distract both of us. I held my wrist out for her. She took
it awkwardly, but put it to her mouth quickly. The sensuality that
came with her drinking still startled me. Less so than it had last
night. Easier to ignore. Partly because I knew what was coming when
she put her mouth to my wrist and partly because I was worried about
other things.

Another crash
came from the room while she fed. She jumped and choked on the blood
a little, coughing and clutching my wrist. I noticed that once she
cleared her throat, Amanda continued breathing. Had I done that? Kept
breathing after my body didn’t need it anymore, out of some
sort of habit? I knew I breathed when I was stressed, but other than
that, I couldn’t remember. I gave her back my wrist.

She finished
quicker and easier this time than the night before. She let my wrist
go with a mumbled thanks, avoiding my eyes.

I rolled my
sleeve back down and wondered what to do next. We had half the night
to fill. My feeding had been a lot quicker than it had seemed, and
the whole episode with getting Sebastian home had taken just over an
hour.

How can
things like that happen so fast? One moment everything’s fine,
and in less than five minutes your whole life is different.

“So . . .
vampires heal, huh?” Amanda asked, searching for a conversation
piece. “Like in movies or books or something. He’ll be
the same as ever tomorrow night?”

I nodded,
remembering my own battered body. No scars, no sore spots. As if it
never happened.

“That
wouldn’t have killed him, would it?” Amanda asked.

I hesitated,
then shook my head. “I don’t know.”

She bit her lip.
“What would happen to us? If Sebastian did get killed?”

We’d be
so screwed,
I thought instantly. Didn’t say that out loud.
But I didn’t know what to say. As I tried to think of something
positive, I saw Amanda’s face. She knew what my pause meant.

“Maybe we
should run,” she said.

“They’d
just find us again.” I didn’t want to tell her that. But
it was true.

She pulled her
knees to her chest and didn’t blink. I realized she was trying
not to have the same little freak-out session she’d had
earlier. My gut twisted.

“Amanda?”
I said. “Hey. We’re gonna be okay. Sebastian’s
here. He’s taking care of us. He’s gonna help us.”

If she heard me,
she didn’t act like it. My eyebrows puckered as I watched her,
wishing I could help. Knowing I couldn’t.

After what felt
like an hour but was probably only a few minutes, she sort of came
back from wherever she’d gone. She swallowed once and looked
away from me.

I watched her a
while, then sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

Oh, Kent . .
.

“What?”
he would say, if he were here, if he could. All guilty, as if I’d
caught him trying to sneak Gypsy out to a gig in a guitar case. No
matter how I ever said his name – angry, happy, exasperated,
overjoyed – he would look up like that and say, “What?”

I wished it was
still funny.

I kept an eye on
Amanda, then sighed again. It came out louder this time, more echo-y.
I certainly hadn’t sighed all that loud. I went as still as I
could and listened.

The apartment
had gone quiet. No crashes or bangs or long breaths – besides
mine. Was everything okay?

Now you know
you’re paranoid,
I told myself.
Everything’s fine.
Josephine’s done with Sebastian, that’s all.

Sebastian would
probably want to rest the remainder of the night – I couldn’t
imagine him walking around with those kinds of injuries. Hell, he
couldn’t with his leg like that. All shredded, strings of
bloody meat hanging down from the rip in his jeans, mingling with the
threads. The image wouldn’t get out of my head, leaving a heavy
lump in my throat that I couldn’t swallow. How did it feel to
get shot like that?

Had Kent known?

I wouldn’t
have known to ask him. He wouldn’t have had any scars, no achy
spots, no missing fingers. Almost all our injuries healed up in one
day’s sleep. I couldn’t decide if I found that relieving
or disturbing.

Did that explain
why Kent’s face got so long sometimes? Stuff he didn’t
want to talk about, stuff that really hurt him? The thought that
followed made me wince. If Alec had told the truth about Kent’s
past, that long face might have meant two different things. Kent
thinking about torments he’d suffered – or thinking about
torments he’d caused.

Another sound
from the hall surprised me out of my thoughts. A soft thump, like a
single footstep. It came again. It sounded like someone limping –
but Sebastian couldn’t possibly be up on his feet.

Right?

In defiance of
my assumption, his tousled blond head appeared in the doorway. He
leaned heavily on a long staff, limping. Thick white bandages
crisscrossed his body, and he’d somehow gotten into a pair of
his loose pajama-pants. I guessed Josephine had more to do with that
than him. He limped out to the living room, stopping beside me.

“You have
nothing else to do this evening?” he asked casually. That had
to mean he had something in mind.

“No,”
I said.

“We should
continue your training.”

I glanced at
Amanda. She seemed to have come out of her little panic attack, but
looked at me with a kind of embarrassed terror. I knew pushing or
trying to talk would only upset her more at this point. I shrugged.
“Sounds good to me. It’s either that or spend the night
stuck inside pacing.” I didn’t ask how he intended to
train me one-legged and battered. He would have an answer.

He nodded and
turned back toward the hall. I stood, following behind as he limped
to the practice room. He moved pretty well, considering – like
he’d had to do this before. I didn’t dwell on it. We
hobbled to the practice room – or rather, Sebastian hobbled, I
walked. In the room, he lowered himself onto a pillow in one corner,
setting himself down with the same hiss of effort as earlier. A tiny
sound compared to what he must have felt.

Alone with him,
I couldn’t stop staring. His face was still marked up where the
bullets had hit him. A slash across his cheek, part of one ear
missing. Fortunately, it didn’t look like Specter had aimed for
his head. Much.

“Are you
all right?” he asked, making me realize I should be asking him
that.

I shifted and
kept staring. “Yeah, I’m okay. I was just wondering the
same about you.”

“It will
heal,” he said off-handedly.

I shook my head.
How much could he take and still keep going? “Never mind,”
I said out loud. I didn’t want to know. It would all heal.
“What should I do?”

Now he sighed
and looked away. Something was coming. I waited quietly for him to
compose his thoughts, examining his scarred face with morbid
curiosity. Josephine had cleaned him up pretty well. No more red
smeared all over him, just clean dark holes. He had to be really
hungry.

“I wish to
apologize,” he said at last, meeting my eyes with that
expressive gaze.

I tried to make
a few sounds of protest – Sebastian cut me off.