In the Dark (36 page)

“Specter
doesn’t know I’m here.” Shroud did not look at Ian.
“I came to talk.”

“Then
talk,” Sebastian said.

Shroud shifted
uneasily. “I came to find out if you’re considering
Specter’s deal.”

Sebastian made
no move to indicate any reply.

“We need
you,” Shroud went on. “The pack hasn’t been the
same since you left. I trust Specter, of course, we all do. But
Specter trusts you. Without you, we haven’t been able to
accomplish nearly as much. Our territories in the Soviet Union are
weak. We’ve already lost East Germany –”

The pack vampire
stopped speaking as Ian shifted, as though he had suddenly noticed
her. Sebastian watched him.

“You
always were one of our greatest strengths,” Shroud continued,
his voice lowered a notch. “Remember when you poisoned that
princess? I forget her name. Specter wanted to toy with her, but you
said our message had to be direct if we were to convince her father
to obey. And you were right! The monarchy in eastern Europe has been
pointless for decades, yet we still hold territory and influence.
Because of you. Because of your decisiveness.”

Sebastian sensed
Ian’s discomfort at his side more than anything else. Less at
Shroud’s words than at the pack vampire’s very presence.

“Have you
come for anything other than to throw praise at my feet?”
Sebastian asked.

A slight
hesitation from Shroud. Then, “I’ve come to ask you to
consider Specter’s offer. To tell you that we need you. I’ve
come to ask you to return.”

Keeping himself
between Shroud and Ian, Sebastian tilted his head to indicate that
Ian should move towards the Vector. She paused, then did so.
Cautiously.

“I have
heard you,” Sebastian said to Shroud. “Now hear me. I
have sworn to protect Ian. Any who approach her with any intent to
harm her will incur my extreme displeasure.”

With that, he
turned to follow Ian to his car, leaving Shroud standing alone on the
sidewalk behind them.

B
y
the time we got back to the penthouse, my feeding-high had worn off.
We recovered from that kind of thing depressingly quickly.

Not that I
wanted to stay lit after that guy tried to convince Sebastian to turn
me over. He was such a pretty man, too – until he opened his
mouth and started spewing that evil crap about how much the pack
missed Sebastian. Talk about a buzz kill. I couldn’t help
worrying quietly to myself all the way home. I knew Sebastian
wouldn’t turn me in, but still. Having someone try to convince
him was scary.

By the time we
boarded the elevator, I was moody and upset. As we rode up, I
remembered what awaited me. I was about to feed my little sister
blood. Because she needed it. Because I’d turned her into a
vampire. Because she’d been murdered by people who were after
me.

The elevator
stopped, throwing off my balance, and the doors slid open. In the
living room Josephine curled like a cat on one of the chairs while
Amanda sprawled on her belly on the floor, legs kicking the air. They
looked like they were having a good talk.

Well, good.

I still felt
like shit. I flexed my fingers in my pockets, feeling my borrowed
warmth. There wasn’t much left. I was cooling off fast.

“Well,”
Josephine said, “You’re back and each in one piece.
That’s a relief.” She said it lightly, with a worried
undertone.

I smiled weakly.
Sebastian took his coat off, followed by his sword, and hung them
both up by the elevator. Josephine came over to us and, to my shock,
put her arms around Sebastian and kissed him. Full on the mouth.
Possibly more shocking was that he kissed her back.

I stared. I
couldn’t help myself.

They let go and
I dropped my stare, I hoped before they caught it.

Sebastian turned
to look at me. “I have things to do. We will practice when I
return.”

“Practice?”

“Indeed.
You will not improve without practice.”

I wilted a
little, but didn’t argue. Maybe fighting would take my mind off
things.

Well, no, it
would wind up leaving me pissed and tense. But I’d almost
rather feel pissed than this scared-guilty-sorry-for-myself crap I
felt now. And those were my options for the night.

“What are
you guys practicing?” Amanda asked.

“Fighting,”
Sebastian said. “If you like, I will teach you. Separately from
Ian. Not tonight.”

“Can I
watch?” Amanda asked.

“No,”
Sebastian said instantly. “It might be dangerous.”

She didn’t
look like she believed him. “Dangerous?”

“Yes.”

I knew what he
meant. I remembered prowling back and forth across the practice-room
floor, swearing and fighting the urge to jump him. More than that, I
remembered fighting the urge to pound the living hell right out of
Alec. Remembered fantasizing about lapping up his blood after I’d
beaten him.

Sebastian meant
I might be dangerous.

Sebastian did
not seem to notice my startle – or if he did, he wasn’t
concerned about it right then. He turned on his heel and left again.
I stared after him, feeling my worries about myself wash away in
worry for him. I glanced at Josephine. “Where’s he
going?”

She shrugged.
“To do what he does best.”

I took that to
mean that she wasn’t sure, but that she trusted him. That
seemed to be about all we could do. Reluctantly, I turned back to
Amanda. She watched us, curious, nervous.

What I saw was
underneath her expression. Her face was sallow. Waxy, really. Her
eyes were sunk in, leaving dark circles all around them, the white
points of her teeth showed against her bottom lip.

So soon. She’d
nearly sucked me dry just last night, and she was hungry again.

I remembered
being so hungry for the first little while. I normally didn’t
need to eat more than two or three times a week, but for the first
month, Kent had fed me every day. A lot.

Amanda licked
her lips, trying to be subtle.

I swallowed.
“Hungry?”

She met my eyes.
Hers had a faint glow. “Starving.”

“All
right.” My voice didn’t shake, but it was low, kind of
thick.

“What do
you want me to do?” she said.

Josephine stayed
quiet, leaving this all to me. I bit my lip and tried not to feel
abandoned.

“This is
weird,” I told Amanda, thinking of the times I had taken blood
from Kent. The very first time. Even though I had remembered my own
death, I hadn’t been able to shake the suspicion it had all
been one really bizarre dream.

Amanda leveled
her green eyes with mine. “I’m hungry, Jen. What do you
want me to do?”

I swallowed
again.

“Come here
and sit down.” I pointed at the floor. That would make it
easier to get the blood going down my arm. She did.

I glanced at the
wrist I’d bitten in the garage before we’d left. I could
feel the twin slices under my sleeve. Josephine nodded once in my
periph, encouraging.

“Here,”
I said, holding out my wrist. Amanda stared at it like it was a dead
snake. My little demonstration earlier couldn’t have helped
matters.

Shit.

I remembered my
own first time drinking Kent’s blood. I hadn’t wanted to.
This would take more encouragement than “here.”

“It’s
okay,” I told her. I tried to keep my tone light, not let on
that this was awkward and uncomfortable for me, too. “Just
suck, right there. It’ll taste funny at first, but you’ll
get used to it. It’s okay.”

She raised her
eyebrows like she didn’t believe me. I kept my wrist in front
of her face. Slowly she leaned over it, examining. I let her. The
cuts wouldn’t seem inviting, they’d seem like cuts. There
was only a hint of blood even though they were obviously deep. Right
now she’d be questioning her sanity and mine, but she would be
able to smell the blood and that would press her into taking one sip,
just to see . . .

Her lips pressed
cold and moist against my wrist. I felt her suck. Not enough for a
mouthful, only a taste. She jerked back as it hit her tongue, mouth
twisted.

“It’s
okay,” I said with more meaning this time. I could see her
rolling the blood around in her mouth, getting the taste of it,
wondering why it was so good.

We watched each
other a long second, waiting to see what the other would do. I made
myself sit perfectly still. The least twitch on my part could seem to
her like I meant to take my arm away. Or it might drag her back to
reality, where this was fucked up and it was time to stop. She
examined my wrist, keeping her distance. When I stayed still, she
reached for more. Slowly. As if she didn’t want to but
something was talking her into it.

Her stomach.

She brought my
wrist to her mouth as if she might scare me off. I let her. She took
another tentative suck, and another. Gentler than she had last night.
She looked up at me then away again fast.

“I know
it’s weird,” I murmured. “I tried to tell you how
weird. Just keep drinking.”

She nodded
absently. She didn’t want me to talk.

I sighed and let
myself relax a little, getting used to the feel of her feeding from
me. It felt good, even if it felt strange. Like being kissed for the
first time – exciting and frightening at once.

A shocked guilt
ran through my head. This was turning me on. The touch of soft lips
on my skin made me react without wanting to – but it was my
little sister. I clenched my teeth and resisted yanking my wrist away
from her.

Amanda didn’t
even seem to notice my discomfort. She kept drinking without so much
as a stutter. She needed a lot. I felt the drain by the time she
stopped.

She sat back,
brushing purple hair out of her eyes, licking red from her lips. I
shivered, suddenly faced with what I must look like after feeding.
She had left a bloody smear on my wrist. Without thinking, I licked
it off. Sweet.

She watched me
in fascination, running her tongue across her new fangs. Red on pink.
Her eyes were glazed.

“You
okay?” I asked.

“Yeah,”
she murmured. “Yeah. Thanks.” She didn’t sound all
that okay.

I nodded and let
her be. She wasn’t hungry. She was safe. She had time to think.
I rolled my sleeve back down over the stinging cuts.

Sebastian still
hadn’t returned. He most likely wouldn’t for hours. With
a look at Josephine, I sighed.

“I know
I’m not much help right now, but I feel so useless. The
womenfolk left back at the ranch.”

Josephine smiled
a thin smile. “I know.”

The conviction
in her voice made me notice the lack in my own. I looked away, biting
my lip. As if being useless wasn’t bad enough.

Josephine
started up a conversation. Something about a book she’d read, I
thought; something totally unrelated to what was happening to us. I
half-participated, which was more than Amanda did. Josephine didn’t
seem to notice, carrying on talking when neither of us responded.

And so we waited
for Sebastian to come back.

S
ebastian
stayed in bed when he woke.

He had gone out
to search for pack members. Finding none, he set human spies on the
area he had seen so many vampires. They would be his eyes and ears,
keeping watch while he stayed away.

Returning home,
he had found all three women in a somber mood. Training Ian had only
seemed to worsen it for her. She had excused herself to her room
early. And so Sebastian had gone to his own – to find Josephine
already waiting in his bed.

He had seen no
reason to ask her to leave.

But now –
all his trained instincts screamed for him to be up and gone. The
woman beside him was only safe while she slept, he was lucky he woke
up early and how did he know she didn’t? If he allowed himself
to trust her, she might be up precious minutes before him and take
his head while he slept, helpless.

He stayed,
though his body went rigid with tension.

Josephine?
he asked himself. The woman who came to his home because she “had
a bad feeling?” The woman who had, in the end, risked her life
to see to his safety?

He chided
himself automatically for the foolishness that had followed her
reaching his home – and stopped.

Foolishness? By
whose definition?

He mulled it
over. He could recall a time when he would not have thought such
behavior foolish. At some point between then and now, he had learned
to think of it differently.

Been taught.

He knew who had
taught him this new definition.

Sebastian
shifted to see Josephine better.

He did not
intend to kill her. She had done nothing to deserve it. Not only that
– he had not taken a lover since Sarah. Not because he could
not replace her – which he couldn’t – but because
he did not agree with the pack’s policy for dealing with
lovers.

It seemed more
foolish to him taking lover after lover, leaving their dead bodies
decomposing in each subsequent bed, rather than taking and keeping
one, learning to trust and aid each other . . . indeed, was that not
the purpose of the pack? Working together to accomplish more than
each could do alone?

Sebastian
watched Josephine, her auburn hair strewn across her face, eyes shut,
arm curled under her pillow.

No, he had to
answer himself honestly. The purpose of the pack was to protect and
promote Specter. Not each other.

In truth, the
pack had always centered around Specter. What he wanted, what he
ordered, what he believed. The notion should not have come as a
surprise, but somehow it did. Sebastian had left because he did not
feel he fit in, not because of traitorous thoughts.