In the Lyrics (20 page)

“Ugh! I sound all nasally.” I frown. “Babe, I don’t know what’s going on. It’s like all of a sudden I suck. What if I have nodes?”

“Sunshine, you don’t have nodes. Come on. You just have to work at it more. You’re naturally talented, but even the best need practice. The voice is an instrument inside your body. You just have to know how to use it. Control it. Become it.”

I snicker under my breath, “Okay, ole wise one. Let’s practice.”

“Again, A-E-I-O-U.” Closing my eyes, I open my mouth and repeat after him.

“Did your jaw close on the vowels?”

Rolling my eyes, I’ve had enough for today. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this. Music and singing is a passion, but practicing for five hours a day is not.

“Screw the vowels. I’m tired and hungry.” I lean backwards on the floor and rest my body weight on my elbows. “Feed me,” I demand.

Since that night at the bar we’ve been a little more carefree around one another. I even moved my stuff from Dusty’s room over to his. We sleep together every night anyways, so it just made sense. Plus Trevor has been staying over more, and I don’t want to intrude on them. After all it is November, we’ve all had long enough to get to know one another, and I can tell Dusty likes him. It’s so strange to think that this is our lives now. It’s just been Dusty and I against the world, and now it’s the fantastic four. Having a boyfriend is great, but having a boyfriend who is like another one of your best friends is heaven.

Colby gets up and walks into the kitchen. “What do you want, the usual?”

“Yes, please!” I laugh. He knows how much I love grilled cheese with pickles on it. Dusty was making it for me one day after work, and Colby busted my chops for days saying how gross that combination is. Until one day I scolded him for knocking it before trying it. He took a little bite of mine, and fell in love. Since then whenever he makes himself one, he’ll make me one too.

“So I was thinking,” he says as he bends into the refrigerator and grabs the tub of butter. “Fall break is right around the corner, and my parents want me to come home. I know we haven’t really talked much about the holidays, but it would mean a lot to me if you could come with me.”

You’d think he was proposing by the look on his face, like he just asked me the most important question in the world. I guess to him it is. Bringing someone home to meet your parents is always a big deal, but bringing someone home to meet your deceased little brother is a bigger deal. My mom and I haven’t really been speaking much. She’s mad that I have a boyfriend, and I’d rather just ignore her than suffer staying under the same roof and listening to her mouth all the time. My ultimate goal is still to become a singer, she just doesn’t see that and thinks I’ve been blinded by love. Yes, I adore Colby and what we have, but I still aspire to accomplish the same things. So I doubt she would even miss me this Thanksgiving. And Dad, well, he’s probably going to be drowning out Mom with alcohol.

“Really? Are you sure?” I ask while pouring a soda into my glass.

“What do you mean am I sure? I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t sure. I think it’s time for us to take the next step. After all, we are kind of working backwards. Ya know, the whole living together before even dating thing.”

He has a point.

“All right. I’ll go, but only if you promise it’s okay. I know how important this holiday is for you and your family. The last thing I want to do is bother anyone.”

“Shut up and come here and kiss me. You just made me the happiest man alive!”

Walking over towards the stove where Colby is standing, he wraps his arms around the tops of my shoulders. Our faces are directly in front of one anothers and I feel his nose brush against mine.

“I love you, Hensley,” he whispers in that low seductive tone that he’s recently mastered.

I don’t have time to say it back before his mouth collides with mine. We’ve become expert kissers, since that is basically all we do. I don’t know if I need to beg him to have sex with me or what, but my patience is wearing thin. Dusty told me that Colby was scared that he was pushing me into it. I don’t know what ever gave him that impression. I’m practically sitting day and night with a ‘Fuck Me’ sign on my chest. Whatever the reason he feels that way, I know I have to take this into my own hands. I love him, he loves me. There’s no reason we shouldn’t be having jaw-dropping, heart-pounding, amazing sex every day.

Moving my hand up, I hold my finger in front of his mouth.

“My grilled cheese is burning.”

“Shit fire!” he says with a twang that makes my stomach flutter. My cowboy’s a real charmer.

“ARE YOU SURE you feel comfortable going, baby girl?” Dusty asks while sitting on the corner of my bed. His hands fiddle with the edge of my purple comforter.

Shrugging my shoulders, I turn around and walk towards my closet for the millionth time today. My fingers graze the tops of a few of my sweaters. I don’t really know what we have planned, other than eating Thanksgiving dinner and visiting Levi’s grave. That thought alone sends a shiver down my spine.
Should I wear black?
Is that too over the top?

“Hensley, not answering me makes me feel a little uneasy about this trip.”

“I know. I didn’t mean to. My brain is sort of mush right now,” I admit.

“If you have reservations, you shouldn’t go.” I glower as he speaks. “I’m not kidding. Whatever has you so nervous is obviously weighing heavy on your shoulders. It’s a lot to swallow – his brother and his alcoholic dad. I know it hits close to home.”

Turning back around, I continue to pull items out of my closet. My arms are full as I walk over to my bed and drop the pile of shirts into my open suitcase.

“Stop it, and sit down.” His voice seems concerned.

Crawling on my twin bed, I sit down beside him. Reaching over to me, he pulls me close to him so we are side by side, and the floodgates open. I’m not crying because I’m scared of going; I’m crying because this is just another notch, another reason why we are perfect for one another. He trusts me enough to bring me home to meet his family, and yet I’ve still not invited him home to meet mine and we live in the same town. I’m not ashamed of Colby, but I’m nervous how my mom would act around him. Who knows if she would be kind or be an ass in an attempt to scare him off.

“Don’t cry. It’s okay, Hens.” He wipes stray tears off of my soaking cheeks. “Now talk to me. I know we’ve both been a little preoccupied with school and our men, but I’m still your best friend. This is killing me seeing you so upset and not knowing why. Did he hurt you?”

I wince from his statement, “God, no!”

His eyebrows raise, and I know he isn’t going to give up until he knows why I’m crying.

“I love him and it scares me. Things have been great, but we’ve also only been in the safety of our homes and school. There have been no outside factors. No drama, well, other than Brittani and Logan, but they’re nothing we can’t handle. But this trip is real. Meeting his parents is real. Meeting his brother, that’s real. I’m just scared that once we take this step, this leap together, I’ll be done for.” Dusty pats my hand that’s resting on my leg. I continue, “I love music, you know that, but Colby makes me think about things differently. You have to see how serious he is all the time. Okay….”
Stop beating around the bush.
“I’m effing scared that I’m going to lose myself. I’m in her boots.” I don’t have to say whose, because Dusty already knows. She and my dad aren’t home, so I don’t have to whisper, but the words leaving my mouth still make me feel sick. “She loved my dad, had sex with him and had me. I ruined her life and stopped her from living her dreams. I don’t want this, my love for Colby, to ruin me. To prevent me from what I want to do, who I want to be. But right now, I’d give it up. If he asked me, I would. I’d choose him and…ahh, I’m a mess!”

“Shh.” Dusty grabs me, his hands wrapping around me as he rocks me back and forth. “You know I’ve never seen you like this. Not once have I ever had to give you this speech, but I want you to listen to me. Just because you’re in love doesn’t mean that love is going to keep you from living your dreams. While your dreams may change a little, they’re still there. You are an amazing musician, friend, girlfriend, and person. I changed my mind. I think you should go on this trip. Because you’re right, you need to get out of our town and spend some time together. I have nothing but faith in my man. Colby is a good dude who really cares about you. Stop worrying so much.”

“This is why you’re my best friend, D. You always know the right thing to say.”

Feeling better about my decision to go, I finish packing an assortment of clothes and shoes. Dusty leaves and my parents finally get home. My mom doesn’t talk to me.
Whatever.
I’m an adult, and I don’t need her permission to go, but it’d be nice to have it.

“NOW BOARDING FLIGHT 6324 to Galveston, Texas. Boarding group number one, please step forward with your boarding pass,” the flight attendant’s voice says over the loud speaker.

“We’re in three. Let’s go ahead and get in line.” Colby smiles, standing up and throwing his backpack over one of his shoulders. “You ready, Sunshine?” he asks as he holds his hand out to me. Nodding my head yes, I grab his hand and we walk to the boarding group three line.

After a couple of minutes, it’s our turn to board the plane. My palms are sweaty as I hand the attendant my pass. She scans it and then smiles at me like she doesn’t have a care in the world. I do, and it’s the giant heap of metal that we’re about to walk on to.

“Don’t be scared. It was either this or driving, and we’d waste at least a solid two days that route.” Holding my body close to his, we walk towards the plane. My body shivers, but it isn’t from the forty-degree temperature outside; it’s my nerves.
How have I never flown before?

“This is ridiculous. I shouldn’t be scared, Colby, but I feel like I’m going to barf.”

“They make special bags for that. Now come on.” Urging me forward he touches my lower back and guides me in front of him. His soothing touch normally calms me, but not today. I’m a nervous wreck and haven’t had a drink since that night over the summer, but a glass of wine or something sounds nice.

We sit down and go over the evacuation plan. Colby laughs, but there is nothing amusing about this situation.

“So, umm, what did your parents say when you asked if I could come home with you?” Feeling like a little girl, I’m curious and can’t help but ask.

“My Pops…well, he didn’t really have much to say. Just ignore him, that’s what I do, but my momma is thrilled. It’s been a long time, Hensley…”

Curiosity overwhelms me again. “A long time for what?” I probe.

“Since I brought a girl home.” My face scrunches up. I knew it. I shouldn’t have asked. “Come on, you can’t get mad. You’ve known I’ve had a few serious relationships. None close to this, so stop pouting; it’s going to give you wrinkles. It’s just that, well…I told you about my father. He isn’t the nicest man in the world. So bringing people around, sometimes it isn’t pleasant. Let’s just leave it at that,” he admits.

Dropping the subject, I say, “So what is there to do at your farm? Do we get to like deliver baby cows and stuff?”

“Seriously? I thought you were raised on a farm.”

I smirk and say, “I was raised in the country, not on a farm. The only farm I’ve been on has been the center, Logan’s farm.”
Ugh
, just saying his name leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. Colby told me about that night at the bonfire and the awful things that Logan said. I’ve tried to steer clear of him as much as possible at work, but we’re bound to have the same shift again. After all it’s his farm.

“All right, good point. I don’t know, I mean, of course I’ll help with the feedings and stuff while I’m there. You’re more than welcome to join, but it’s early, and I know you’re not much of a morning person.”

“You caught me.” I yawn.

A few minutes pass and the plane starts to shake. My clammy hand grips the shared armrest between Colby and I. Colby explains it’s something called turbulence, but I don’t care what the technical name is, it’s scary as shit.