In the Shadow of the Crown (47 page)

That would not be considered unusual, for grain was now and then brought to the household. When the grain was delivered, I should be smuggled out. We should be away before I was missed, and I should very soon be in Flushing.

I said, “Will you come too, Ambassador?”

He looked helpless.

“You must come,” I said. “I shall need you.”

“Dubois is a trusty servant.”

“But you must come. I must have your promise.”

He smiled at me almost tenderly. “I give it,” he said. “I shall come as a grain merchant, and we shall have you out of harm's way … in no time at all.”

I BEGAN TO WONDER if everything must go wrong for me.

When I heard the news I was astounded and stricken with grief, for,
though I had compared van der Delft with Chapuys to his disadvantage, I had grown fond of him and I had relied upon him. He had been with me through a dangerous time and he had been my only link with the Emperor, whom, in spite of everything, I still regarded as my savior.

On arriving in the Netherlands, van der Delft wrote to the Emperor an account of what had happened, and as soon as he had finished he took to his bed. He had fallen into a fever and was delirious.

It was apparent that he was on his deathbed. He was suffering from gout, but it seemed that the plots for my escape had so preyed on his mind that he had become further enfeebled.

The poor man went into raving delirium and talked of the boat which was to take me away from England; he had rambled about the watch on the roads, and the dangers of getting me to the boat. There must have been many who heard it.

I received a note from the Emperor. It came sealed by way of the ambassador who, of course, knew nothing of its contents. It was very disconcerting to have an ambassador in whom I could not confide. Chapuys had been my great comfort, and after him van der Delft…and now, when I most needed help, there was no one to give it to me.

The Emperor did not want to drop the plan in spite of all the difficulties which had arisen, but he thought it must be put aside for a few weeks while his spies informed him what effect the ravings of van der Delft had had. He would send men into the markets to drink with the merchants and there discover if anything had leaked out.

In due course I heard from him again. Apparently there had been no mention of the plot, and it seemed that all was safe.

Now we were free to go ahead.

I was overcome with melancholy and great trepidation. Van der Delft was replaced by a man I did not know. A stranger was coming, disguised as a grain merchant, and I was to escape with him…to the unknown. It was a frightening proposition.

There would be ships lying off the coast, and a small grain ship would sail up the river. Grain would be delivered, and then I should be taken out to safety. It was a dangerous operation but it had the sanction of the Emperor, and Dubois was eager to carry it out with distinction.

We received a message that the merchants had arrived and would bring a sample of corn for the comptroller to see. The next step would be for Dubois to bring the corn into the house.

I had decided which ladies were going with me. I had packed my jewels. I was ready.

We heard that people were watching on the roads. They would be there
on the route along which I had to pass to reach the river. It would be a great feat for any of those people to capture me; and, moreover, they would be in trouble if it were discovered that they had allowed me to slip through.

Sir Robert Rochester came to me and said that he had something on his mind and wished to speak to me. I bade him continue.

“My lady Princess,” he said. “There is a rumor that the King is in a very delicate state of health. He cannot marry. He will never produce an heir. It could be that, in a very short time, you will be the rightful queen of this country.”

“I know it,” I said. “The thought is constantly with me.”

“You are the hope of the country, Princess. Many people are waiting for you to return them to God's Church.”

I nodded and was silent.

“If you were not here,” went on Sir Robert, “it would be the Lady Elizabeth.”

“I should have to come back to claim my right.”

“It is never easy to come back, my lady.”

“Sir Robert, what are you suggesting?”

He was silent for a few seconds, and then he said slowly, “This is a desperate operation. If you are discovered, what will happen?”

“I shall be taken to the Tower. I shall be judged a traitor. I have been in communication with a foreign power. You know what that means, Sir Robert.”

“They would seize upon it. It would give them the opportunity for which they have been waiting.”

“You are telling me that it is unwise for me to go.”

“I believe, Princess, that if you go…even if the escape is successful and you reach Flanders, you will have lost a kingdom.”

I saw the reasoning behind this.

I said, “I am in fear of losing my life here.”

“That is true, but we will be watchful, and you have many friends. I believe your enemies are aware of this, and they would not dare to harm you.”

“They might by subtle means.”

“There is a possibility. But your servants love you and guard you well. They pray, Princess, for the time when you mount the throne and sweep away this evil which has taken possession of the land.”

“You are telling me I must stay.”

“It is your decision, Princess.”

“Dubois will be here soon,” I reminded him.

“You could tell him you were not prepared to go…just yet.”

“After all the preparations!”

“The Emperor will try again if he is really in favor of your escape.”

“You think he is not entirely so?”

It was then I learned that the Emperor had hesitated because he feared he would have to provide me with a household and that I should be a drain on his exchequer.

I said, “The Emperor was ever a careful man. It is the reason why he is the richest and most powerful man in the world.”

“That may be so, Princess. But would you wish to be a burden…one he might shoulder reluctantly?”

“What then, Sir Robert? Are we to tell Dubois when he comes with his grain that I will not go?”

“That is for you to say, my lady Princess. The decision is entirely yours. If you decide to go, rest assured that I will do all I can to assure your safety. It is for you to say whether you will risk staying here in order to gain your kingdom, or whether you will take an equal risk and give it away to those who would destroy it in the eyes of God.”

I wanted to be alone to think. He had reduced me to a terrible state of indecision.

I spent a restless night. I did not sleep at all. Rochester was right, I told myself. I would be throwing away my heritage if I left. I had soothed my conscience by telling myself I would return and win my kingdom when it was mine by right. But how could I do that? With the Emperor's help? Had the Emperor come to save my mother when she was in dire distress? Would not his continuing commitments demand all his attention, all his forces? That was how it had been in the past. Would it change? The Emperor would certainly wish to see the true faith returned to England, but how far would he be prepared to risk his forces to bring it about?

I had to be realistic. I had to rely entirely on my own judgement. I was in danger here. I was in constant fear that one day or night some assassin would make an end of me. I would continue to live in fear. But should I be safe in Flanders? Had not my father sent assassins abroad to try to kill Reginald Pole? They had not succeeded but they might have done so.

Let me look truth in the face. God had put me in this position. I could perform a great mission if I lived. My life was in God's hands. If He wished me to succeed in this great task, I needed His help. I needed His guidance. To go or to stay? Rochester had made me see clearly that if I went I might save my own life but in doing so lose my kingdom.

I prayed, passionately asking for guidance.

I felt the presence of God beside me, and in the morning I knew what I should do.

SIR ROBERT HAD RECEIVED a letter from Dubois.

He had arrived with the corn, and he and his men had made it known in the town that they were there. That night the water would be high in the river, and that would enable the boat to come right in. It would not be so easy after this night. Because of the tide, it would be reasonable for the boat to be in the most convenient spot at two o'clock. I should not bring too many women with me, for that would arouse suspicion.

Rochester sent a note to Dubois asking him to meet him in the churchyard. If they were seen together, there would be no cause for suspicion as it would be thought they were discussing the consignment of corn.

I saw Rochester before he went.

I said to him, “I have been questioning myself all the night.”

“I know it, Princess, and you have come to the right conclusion. You are too good a Catholic to have come to any other.”

“I have a duty,” I said. “I can do nothing else.”

He took my hand and kissed it. “It cannot be long,” he said, “before I shall fall on my knees and call you Her Majesty the Queen.”

“There is much danger to be lived through first.”

“But with God's help, my lady…”

“Yes,” I answered, “with God's help.”

We were silent for a moment. I was thinking of what we had said. If overheard, it could cost us our lives. I was certain of Sir Robert's loyalty to me, and I was exultant in the midst of my fear, for I knew I had chosen rightly.

I said, “You will go to the churchyard and tell Dubois.”

“I must break it gently,” he replied. “If I say bluntly that you are not going after all this preparation, I cannot answer for his reaction. I think it better to hint at a postponement.”

“But he says it is tonight or never.”

“Well, my lady, it is not going to be tonight.”

He went to his tryst with Dubois, and when he returned he came straight to me and said that he had told Dubois that there was no chance of my going this night. The watch on the roads had been doubled and I should certainly be stopped. “The Emperor must understand how dangerous it is,” he had said, “and when he does he will realize the necessity for postponement. The escape could have a better chance of success in the winter.”

Dubois had been deflated. He had said brusquely that he was only acting on orders and it was not for him to make decisions. He could not believe that the Princess, after all her entreaties for help, had, now the moment had come to put the plan into action, decided not to carry it out.

“He is very disappointed in us,” I said.

“He said he had had his instructions from the Emperor, my lady, and he would need letters from you discharging him from his duties.”

“He shall have them,” I promised. “It shall be known that no blame is attached to him.”

“I told him,” said Rochester, “that I would give a great deal to see you safely out of the country, and indeed I had been the first to suggest it. I impressed on him that it was not that you did not wish to go but that you felt this was not the moment, for it is very unsafe to do so and the chances of being caught, due to this watch on the roads, have been multiplied. In the winter it could be considered again. He said that to him it was just a question of to go or to stay. He merely wanted a Yes or No.”

Later Dubois came to see me. By this time I was completely convinced that I must not go.

The man was irritated. He had been sent out to perform a mission, and he would return with it unfulfillled. He needed my written word that it had failed through no fault of his and that it was entirely my decision that at the last moment I would stay.

He left us and was soon on his way to Flanders.

I do not know how the rumors got about. It is always difficult to say. A careless word here and there is taken up and exaggerated. However, rumors were circulating that I had escaped. There was talk of visits to the house at Woodham Water and of grain ships sent by the Emperor to convey me out of the country. People were intrigued by the thought of men disguising themselves as grain merchants and coming to the aid of a princess.

The Council was aware of what had happened and had all ports manned with soldiers; all ships coming in were subjected to special examination.

I was not surprised when messengers came from Court. I was asked in such a way which made it a command either to move inland or to go to Court.

My reply was my usual one. My health was not good enough to allow me to move.

I knew that I was in more acute danger than ever.

SOMERSET HAD FALLEN INTO TROUBLE AGAIN. I WAS SORRY to hear this, for he had, in his way, been good to me. I think it was due to him that I had been allowed to hear Mass unmolested all this time.

He seemed to be gaining support in the country, and Warwick losing popularity. Somerset planned to replace him but Warwick was a wily man, and he wanted more and more power. He had ennobled himself and was now the Duke of Northumberland.

Before long he declared he had uncovered a plot hatched by Somerset to murder him, Northumberland, and seize power. Somerset was commanded to come to the Council and was arrested and put into the Tower, accused of plotting to secure the crown for his heirs.