In Too Deep (The Lovers Duet) (8 page)

I PACED IN our room for a while and smoked a couple of joints before I decided being anti-social would get me nowhere. If I was going to support my husband, I would have to look the part and make the most out of a bad situation.

Of course my mind couldn’t get over all the revelations revealed that night.

Linx had to become a member of the MC if he wanted to actively help search for my own brother.

Trey was the biological child of Dizzy Cox and only my half-sibling.

It was all such a mind fuck but I had to think positive in a situation like this if I wanted to survive, both mentally and physically.

I walked out of the room and shut the door behind me before I climbed down the stairs and finally reached the bottom where there were old ladies mingling with future old ladies and I felt completely out of place. I could feel their eyes on me as I took a seat at the bar while a prospect cleaned down the counter.

“What’ll it be, sweetheart?” The prospect inquired as he looked at me with bright green eyes and a goatee.

“A double shot of a Macallan.” I paused and added, “Thanks.”

“Looks like someone needs to get pissed.”

I looked over and watched in awe as Bronaugh, the Queen Bitch, sat next to me.

“Not pissed exactly, just a nice buzz. Same shit, different setup. I’m used to the Bastards but I can deal with the Saints.”

“Oh. Can you?” Bronaugh bore into me with amber eyes the same color as Jaden’s. She wasn’t thin but she wasn’t overweight either; merely voluptuous with a generous helping of tits and ass. “We do it a bit differently around here as I’m sure you’ve observed by now. Rest assure…Lennon is in good hands.”

The prospect set my drink down and I sipped from it, relishing the taste of the smooth-tasting scotch. “So, you’re related to my husband’s father?”

“We’re first cousins, yes.” She glared at me with cool eyes. “Something tells me you’re not really old lady material. But if you were pushed…under the right circumstances, you could be.”

“I never
wanted
to be an old lady.” I finished my scotch in a couple of deep swallows. “It’s the precise reason why I married a rock star.”

“Lennon is still a rock star, dear. But he will also be a member of Lucifer’s Saints. Nothing wrong with being both. Kaelan and Kaz don’t complain.” She lit a cigarette and blew the smoke in the opposite direction from where I sat.

“Yes, but I’m not married to Kaz or Jaden either. They can do whatever the fuck they want to do, including your son using and abusing
my
cousin while he plays between two women—one of them being a junkie whore who will spread her legs for anyone who looks in her direction. This is not how I wanted to spend my life because I have been around these fucked up clubs during my whole adolescent years, and I thought for once, I could get away!” I exclaimed in anger as I slammed my glass on the bar.

“Yeah, well, sometimes life doesn’t work out the way we plan. You’re not your mother, Trista. You don’t have the grace though you do have her beauty. You were born hard, and tough…and you’ll persevere because that is what women like you do. Am I wrong?”

“No, you’re not wrong.” The alcohol was starting to do its job and along with the marijuana I’d consumed, I was feeling absolutely no pain. “I am in love with Linx and although I hate what he’s done…the decision he’s made, I know he did it for me because he would do anything to keep me safe.”

“Yes, he would because Carter men love hard…just like the women…and he’ll never let you leave him. When he married you, he branded you for life and you’re more woven in his skin than all the tattoos he has on his body. If you break his heart, I will put a bullet in your fucking skull. I won’t tolerate anyone hurting my family…ever.”

Bronaugh dragged on her cigarette before she flicked the excess ash in an ashtray. “You see that half-breed bitch over there?” She threw her head in the direction of Gisela. She sat next to an extremely short-haired, attractive black woman and they were speaking animatedly with one another. “I can’t stand her and think she is a stuck up cunt who thinks she’s better than us but when the lockdown happened, she was one of the first ones here with Cillian’s children picked up from school.”

“Who’s the chick she’s talking to?” I signaled the prospect for another drink and he gladly refilled my glass with Macallan.

“Naomi. Former military…she was in the Air Force but now she and Ronan are together…don’t know what it is about my son and these…exotic women. Maybe they just hate white women because I’m their mother. Who knows? Or perhaps the times are changing. She may look tough but she is sweet and she treats my son better than any other whore he’s ever chased. They just became an official couple so I’m assuming our nice, quiet Irish club is beginning to integrate.

“Regardless of the color of their skin, Gisela and Naomi helped me load in the food and they helped me call everyone to inform the families there was a lockdown. Gisela personally did whatever I asked of her because beneath the heirs she puts on, she loves my son with all her heart. He’s the only man she’s ever been in love with and he, with her. He would take a bullet for her and you know what, I wouldn’t have a problem with that because she’s pregnant with my grandchild, and she is loyal to a fault.

“She didn’t want the club life either—neither does Naomi—but they bite their tongue and do what’s necessary because that is the kind of women they are and that is how you must adapt too. Remember, it’s no longer about you. It’s about what’s good for the club and right now, we need Lennon’s help. He’s got connections you know nothing about. More than that, Desmond needs his son because…I can’t imagine what he would do if Trey’s dead. He didn’t come from my womb but he loves that boy and would do anythin’ to protect him. Can you say the same about your brother? What are the lengths you’re prepared to go to protect him?”

I didn’t even have to blink after I finished my scotch in a couple of swallows. “For Trey? Anything and everything it took. I admit, he can be a prick and he’s been the biggest pain in my ass over the years but he has never let me down, not once. I would be willing to go through the gates of Hell to find him and assure that he is safe. The alternative…I can’t bear to think about.”

“That’s what I thought.” Bronaugh finished her Irish whiskey, stood and walked away from the bar.

My eyes began to water and I knew the tears were close to approaching when warm, masculine hands encircled me from behind and Linx whispered in my ear, “Time for bed, baby.”

I gazed at the prospect and smiled slightly. “Thanks for the drinks. You have no idea how much I needed them.”

He nodded without so much as a word. I didn’t know what kind of daggers my husband was shooting at him but I knew it was time to go before a full-fledged fight broke out.

I stood and walked off with Linx and he wrapped his arm around my neck as we climbed the stairs together.

No words were exchanged between us but I knew he had so much to say. I didn’t even know if I wanted him to confess anything to me; I was so emotionally fragile at the moment, anything could start the waterworks and I didn’t want to cry. It was a sign of weakness and I was never the type.

I couldn’t ever be that type of woman who would depend on a man, lean on a man because I was too fucking weak to hold myself up. That would never be me ever and Linx knew this too. He’d understood me when he’d driven me to Vegas and married me, shotgun style at The Little White Chapel.

I was his untamed, wild, and uncontrollable beauty who would never be another Cassidy and didn’t want him because he was famous and had money. Our love and trust in each other went so much deeper than what we could express but in our hearts, the truth was undeniable and compelling.

I hated I felt so strongly for him that the thought of what he’d done sickened me but at the same time, if he hadn’t done it, we would have had no protection when we visited Belfast to save my prodigal brother.

“How did everything go?” I finally found the nerve to ask as I began to undress and watched him do the same.

“I was voted in unanimously if that is what you’re asking about. My tat is going to be done tomorrow after breakfast, and we’ll be leaving for Northern Ireland as soon as we have more information on what the hell went down the night of that fucking call.”

Part of me found it hard to believe this was my beloved Lennon who was talking. He always had been so soft spoken and he’d never once made me fear him. The look in his blue eyes was pure ice; a menacing presence I’d never noticed before.

I knew he wouldn’t hurt me but I now knew how capable he was of hurting other people.

“I’m a stupid bitch…you know that?” I slid into a short slip of a nightgown and climbed into the comfortable bed as he locked the door and made his way over to me. “I had no idea what you were capable of and it was right there in front of my face the whole goddamn time. Tell me, did you know you would have to be voted in before we could look for my brother?”

Linx climbed on the bed before he straddled me and I didn’t do anything to fight him off or push him away.

“The thought crossed my mind. I know Dizzy is trying to reel in as much family as he can and I knew that he’d already taken your brother from the Bastards but I couldn’t say anything. This situation is so fucked up and I know I owed you an explanation but what the hell was I gonna say? If you knew as much as I did about the situation, you would’ve never agreed to come here. If you had any idea Dizzy would blackmail us and I would have to end up wearing a cut—”

“Yeah, you’re right because
I didn’t sign up for this shit!
I fuckin’ know why you did it but it doesn’t change the fact that I am still tied to the same motherfuckin’ situation I have tried to run from my whole life. I thought I would be safe with you but everything in my life is all fucked up and now I’ve dragged you down into my hell hole too.”

I shook my head. “There I was,
judging
Talia, and all along not knowing the man I was in love with would soon be a member of an MC too. If I wanted that
kind
of life, I would have hooked up permanently with a biker a long time ago but I never wanted this, Linx. And since when don’t I get to have an opinion? Your mind was made up before I could leave the bathroom. How is that fair to me?”

“What other choice did you want me to make, huh?” Linx rolled off of me and laid down on the bed beside me. “We both want your brother home safe and sound—so what if I have to wear the motherfuckin’ cut?”

“
It matters to me!
” I shrieked out in anger. “I don’t want to be in Talia or Syd’s position and I sure as fuck didn’t want to be an old lady. You know I will never leave you so that is all water under the bridge but I hate Dizzy took that choice away from me. He basically claimed you as his own and you know how it goes down. Rock star by day, biker by night—takin’ orders from that prick and everything is about the club. I’m not stupid, I know how it works and that’s why I never wanted this to be
my
life.”

Linx ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I know, babe, and if I could change everything that happened, don’t you think I would? Right now, the most important thing we can focus on is Trey. After that, you can scream and yell at me for being just what you didn’t want but let’s find your brother first before we have that conversation.”

I sat up in bed and this time, it was I who crawled toward Linx. “I never said that. I said I didn’t want this life but I will always love you and I know what’s ahead of us. It is going to get ugly and God knows I don’t want any bloodshed but that’s exactly what’s going to happen.