Inconceivable (19 page)

“Do you know what you are having yet?”

“No. Can you tell?”

“Looks like a boy to me.” She moved the wand a little more. “Yup. Definitely a boy.”

And I smiled. My Little One was a Little Man! A son.

A few minutes later, the nurse swabbed inside our cheeks to collect DNA samples.

“Now, you take it easy the rest of the day,” she told me. She handed me discharge instructions. “You can resume normal activities tomorrow. Call us if you have any of these symptoms.”

Back home, I went straight to bed. That evening, still resting, I recognized the Morells’ number before I answered the phone.

“Hi, Shannon. Everything went well. I’m resting, and there was no leaking or bleeding afterwards. I’m staying off my feet until tomorrow to be safe.”

“How was it? I never had an amnio with the girls.”

“It was awful. I had no idea it was that painful. I would never, ever do that test if we hadn’t been put in this position. Hey, the ultrasound person today thinks it is a boy.”

“Oh. Do you think the tech was right? I mean, we already have two girls and all this girl stuff. A boy would be nice, but really different. I grew up with a sister. No brothers. So…a boy. Wow, that would be different.”

“I don’t know if she was right. I think we’ll know more when we get a definitive answer from the genetic testing in a few weeks.”

“Okay. I just have so much girl stuff. And this baby will be born in the same season as my twins. So their clothes will fit perfect and I’ve saved everything. But if it is a boy, I guess I can sell all the girly things in a garage sale and add boy toys. If it’s a boy, we’ll have to move the girls’ rooms around. Right now, they have their own bedrooms, but we can’t put a boy in with a girl. So I’ll
have to put the twins together and repaint a room so it is more little boy.”

“Uh-huh. I wanted to let you know that we told our family and friends last week.”

“How did they take it?”

“Well, it was hard. Everyone was extremely supportive, but it is all very awkward.”

“Yeah. That’s the way it’s going to be for us when we bring the baby home. Awkward. We just don’t know what to tell people. I wanted to keep our use of IVF private. I don’t know how to do that and explain where this baby came from. I’m thinking we could tell everyone we used a surrogate. That is closest to the truth. This is like a surrogacy.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, I’m sure you’ll do what you think is best for your family.”

“Yeah. We are just very private people. I don’t want people at work to know my business. You know?”

“I can only imagine how difficult this is for you,” I said.

“And I’m afraid of what people are going to say. The other day I confided in our pediatrician what happened, and he said, ‘And you think that baby is yours?’ This caught me completely off-guard. I told him that they were our embryos. He said, ‘An embryo is just a few cells. A woman turns them into a baby.’ Can you believe he thinks that?”

“I can’t believe that he thinks this baby doesn’t legally belong to you.”

“I’m afraid that that’s what people are going to think, that the baby really belongs to you because your body carried it. I think people are not going to understand why we think he is ours. You know?”

“Legally, he is yours shortly after delivery. So what people think, what your pediatrician thinks, doesn’t matter.”

“Yeah. I just don’t think people will understand our loss. How
we are missing his pregnancy. I don’t get to experience this with my girls. I was looking forward to being pregnant again. I’ll never feel him kick. I don’t get to love him the way I loved my girls before they were born.”

Photographic Insert

May 29, 1993: We sealed the sacrament of our marriage with a kiss while Father Richard Wurzel looked on, as well as Carolyn’s maid of honor, Laura Radtke-Daly.

April 16, 2008: We were all smiles as the boys got to meet their baby sister for the first time in the NICU of Mercy St. Vincent Medical Center.

Logan’s third ultrasound picture, taken only one week after his heart started beating.

Baby Logan at twelve weeks’ gestation, complete with fingers, toes, and a heart that was strong and growing!

In late May 2009, the error was confirmed through DNA testing of Carolyn’s amniotic fluid obtained during an amniocentesis. The results we received from DNA Diagnostics Center indicated that Carolyn had zero genetic connection to the baby she was carrying. Sean received identical results the same day.

September 25, 2009: Sean signing legal documents relinquishing custody of Logan to Paul and Shannon Morell.

The court documents completed on September 25, 2009, giving full custody to Paul and Shannon Morell less than twenty-four hours after Carolyn gave birth to Logan.

September 24, 2009: Sean introducing Logan to Carolyn only minutes after his birth.

Logan and Carolyn meeting face to face for the first time.