INDISPENSABLE: Part 1: A Billionaire Romance (11 page)

But that Sarah had now packed her bags and left, and Sarah had no idea who this imposter was in her body.

Brock swallowed the straight, strong liquor and the burn was awesome. Just what he needed. What had he been thinking? He picked up the agreement he’d made for Sarah and him. He should’ve known straight up that it was a bad idea. He’d given into his desire to be with this firecracker of a lawyer and gorgeous young woman.

They’d shared a marvelous day together, a perfect day. Although she’d been very upset about her brother’s art and her parent’s involvement—and Brock was sure he hadn’t heard the last of that—it had all been healthy building of friendship, and the attraction, as always, was present.

Then, he’d gotten carried away with himself. Gotten too cocky, too sure he had the monster inside under control. He did, until she called him by his name instead of “sir”—and then something snapped inside him and he wanted to push her to the edge, to show her what it meant to be his submissive.

He’d been so close to an orgasm during that session that he thought he’d explode. He’d pushed her too far and too hard in his quest to have her, to make her his. He’d promised he wouldn’t do that, But hadn’t he enjoyed the panic in her eyes?

Hadn’t he known the oxygen deprivation would bring her to the shattering end it had? Yes, and he knew he’d never be rid of the monster.

No matter what he did. No matter who he was with. No matter how long he controlled it, it would always be there waiting. This had to stop with Sarah; he couldn’t hurt her. He wanted her, more than anything, but she was safer away from him. The terrible truth lay within him from five years ago, and he didn’t deserve to be purged from that.

What he needed to do was protect Sarah from ever coming close to him in that way again. Brock knew no matter how much he wanted her, he just couldn’t take the chance. When he lost control, it wasn’t pretty, and people got hurt. Sarah did not need to be on that casualty list. She was different; he liked her. A lot. He could be friends with her if he just didn’t get sexual again.

He couldn’t expect her of trust him when he couldn’t even trust himself. He thought he could, but look what happened. He lost it with Sarah. From here on, he’d tell her they were friends only. That was what she wanted. For all he knew, she didn’t even want that now. But it was the only way he could be with her. He tore the agreement up. It was worthless.

He’d prevented her from using her safe word when he’d kissed her so hard and wanted her so much. He wanted her to be his and no one else’s, ever. In a way, he wanted her to know what was festering inside him, the part of him he hid beneath all else. He wanted to show her and for her to still want him, to love him in spite of it and to love him because of it. He smashed his hand down on the counter, and Romeo and Juliet scurried off to their beds with their tails down.

“I’m sorry guys. Sorry. I’ll be better tomorrow.” He’d caught himself in his own noose. He’d convinced her to take a chance and let him show her pleasure with no strings attached. He’d convinced her to trust him with the simple agreement, and he’d been so sure of himself.

In the end, she did. She’d given herself over, and he’d blown the trust. He couldn’t trust himself to be with her like that again. If he did to her what he’d…he shook the memory away…no. No way.

It’d been years since that time. He was a young, arrogant fool back then. But he’d practiced control, how to temper his desires, and how to channel his needs. That’s what his agreements at his downtown warehouse were all about. He hired professional submissives to play with, and he listened and learned from professional dominants who understood what he was.

But now he realized it was because he didn’t have an emotional attachment to any of those women. It was a business deal. But Sarah wasn’t. He cared for her.

He wanted her for more than a sex contract. He wanted to sooth her soul and wake up with her in his bed. He wanted to see if he could have sex like a normal man. He wanted to make love just because he woke up with morning wood and she smiled at him.

It would never happen because he couldn’t even get hard without being in Dom mode. But Sarah deserved more than that, a man who’d love her. A partner in life she’d trust—not some freak who needed to spank her to get hard. Every single time couldn’t be like that. If the only way to make love to Sarah was to inflict pain and control, Brock knew that wasn’t right.

He’d distance himself. No good could ever come from being in love with Sarah Beaumont, especially not for her. Perhaps he should go early for his half-yearly catch-ups with his companies around the world.

****

“I don’t know, Bella. The night was equally incredible and disturbing. But a little more on the incredible side I think

“
Oh. My. Fucking. God. Sarah, you have to be with him again. Look at you, you’re a wreck.” Bella’s eyes were as wide as her grin.

“What happened to, ‘Drop that crazy mofo like a hot scone?’”

“Okay, then. Do it. Drop him.”

“I will. Too easy.” Sarah took a long drink. “I’m not sure how I’m going to keep my eyes open in the office tomorrow.”

“That’s why they pay you the big bucks.” Bella gave her loud, shriek laugh. “I’ve always wanted to say that to someone and not be sarcastic.”

“I hope he has the day off.”

“Why don’t you call in sick? I can see you stiffening up already. He must’ve given you a toweling.”

“Bella!”

“Oh, come on. I deserve this. You’ve been hearing my sex stories forever. When do we ever get to discuss
your
exploits? Hey, you’re blushing. What the actual Hell?”

Bella’s gaze fixed on Sarah’s wrists; she’d tried to pull her sleeves over. “Your wrists were tied. He’s a Dom? God, how did I not see that?”

“We had an agreement. A written one. No obligations afterwards. I had a safe word. He wanted to stay friends.”

“Wait…what? He had a written agreement before he had sex with you?”

“Strictly speaking, we didn’t have sex.”

“What did you have?”

“The scariest and most exhilarating time of my life, and the orgasm almost broke me.”

“Sarah. You need to let him go.”

“Really? I thought you were all for him and I.”

Bella drank more wine.

“Bella? What don’t I know?”

“That’s what I want to know.”

“You’ve lost me.” Sarah stared at her friend; she had her serious face on. “That face is the scariest thing I’ve seen all night, and that’s saying something.”

“Sarah. I don’t want to scare you but…Brock is seriously messed up.”

“What makes you say that? Plenty of people like an alternative sex life.”

Bella shoulders dropped as she breathed out. “Yes, you don’t have to tell me twice, but this contract thing, and him not coming, that doesn’t seem right to me.”

“Something weird happened; something came over him when I was scared. But afterwards, it was so perfect. Bella, how can I love to be treated that way?”

“Humans are complex, Sarah. Especially when it comes to sexual activity. Consenting adults and all that…”

“He seems trapped. He has dogs; he’s got hand-raised creatures in his aquarium. He took me back to his personal place, and no other woman has ever been there. He’s a tangled up mess of emotions. Maybe he has split personalities.”

“That you can’t resist unraveling.”

“I haven’t said that.”

Bella looked over and smiled. “Well, this place is awesome. He’s thought of everything. He cares about your welfare and making you happy. He’s blocked emotionally clearly, and I can’t help but think this could be something huge in his past that more than a good roll in the hay can fix.”

“I’m changed. One night and I’m changed. I did not walk out the same person as I walked in there.”

“But is it a change for the better or for the worst?”

“That’s my worry.”

“Why don’t just see how it is at work. See how he’s handled it after rest. I don’t know the details, but perhaps he’ll want to talk more next time he sees you.”

“I did need to move forward on the abstinence thing, but I’m not sure I’ve improved my situation.”

“Just be careful, Sarah. I don’t want you back where you were.”

“I know. He can’t be my knight in shining armor.”

“That won’t stop you from trying to be his.”

****

Monday morning, Sarah came into work a little bleary-eyed. She was determined to face up to Brock as soon as possible. No point wondering what all this meant. She intended to find out by going there and being very professional. She had some work stuff to discuss, and they could do the catch up on last week’s developments.

She was stiff and sore in places she never knew existed, yet nothing weighed heavy on her mind today. She felt like she could fix the problems of the world with a magic wand. Today, she would put half a day at the office, and in the afternoon she would take her research outdoors, with birds or other animals. She was just in that mood.

After much though before sleep, she’d decided to not stress over the safe word situation. All had ended well, and the fact he’d gotten a little carried away wasn’t the end of the world. The result was astounding, and Sarah couldn’t remember actually waking up without a care in the world before, so why create drama?

She’d gotten her coffee and had a chat with a few of the junior lawyers. Told them to come and meet on her office once she’d had her meeting with Brock. She opened up her email account and a group mail from the office workers was sitting at the top of the list.

The subject was ‘police are here wtf?’ Sarah clicked into it and read that a detective and couple of policemen had just came in asking for Brock.

Sarah hit a reply all and sent back, ‘onto it.’ And she grabbed her pad and paper and ran down the long corridor to Brock’s office. His door was open and the officers had him standing, just clicking on handcuffs and reading him his rights.

Sarah warped straight into lawyer mode. “What’s going on here, detective?”

“We’re taking him in for questioning.”

“I’m Mr. Devlin’s attorney. On what grounds is he being arrested?”

“He’s charged with sexual assault.”

Sarah turned to look at Brock. She couldn’t believe her ears. He looked stunned and was unusually quiet. “Don’t say anything, Mr. Devlin. Not a word. I’ll meet you down there.”

Brock was led out by the two officers. He stood tall and said nothing, but Sarah could see by his eyes he was concerned. Could this have anything to do with Rick losing his job? The detective turned to follow them.

“Excuse me, detective? Can you please tell me what these charges consist of?”

“I guess you’ll be finding out anyway. The lady’s claiming four years ago he had her gagged during a BDSM session, and when she needed to say the safe word, she couldn’t. It’s traumatized her all these years and now she wants closure.”

A cold shiver ran over Sarah. Her blood may have just turned to ice in her veins.

~~~