Indulgent Pleasures (32 page)

“What do you say? Do you want to? What do you think?” He watched her, his eyes alight with hope, his brows raised expectantly.

“But I—I work. I have my job and it’ll take me a while to get downtown in the morning. Plus I have my apartment with my roommate. We’re locked in a lease for another five months.”

“Tell that witch to find another roommate then. She can do it. Help her out. Hell, I’ll help her out.” He laughed since he’d heard a story or two about how awful her roommate could be. “And you can quit your job, you know.”

“Excuse me, did I hear you correctly?” She angled her head and cocked an ear in his direction but his expression didn’t change. He looked one hundred percent serious.

He actually wanted her to quit her job?

“You don’t need to work, Stephanie, not if you’re with me. You move into my house and I’ll take care of you and make sure you have everything you need.”

“But I don’t want to take your money. I have bills to pay, credit card debt. Things you shouldn’t have to take care of.” She couldn’t imagine being some sort of kept woman.

But that’s exactly what Justin was suggesting. Talk about old-fashioned. She couldn’t believe he even made the offer.

“I’ll pay off your credit cards. They can’t be that bad, can they?” Smiling, he reached across the counter to take her hand but she wouldn’t let him.

“Listen, I didn’t ask for a hand out. I don’t want to take your money. I’m not here for that or your fame or whatever else. I’m with you because I want to be with you. Not because I want to live off your payroll.”

“Stephanie.” He forced her to take his hand and he interlaced his fingers with hers, squeezing tight. “I don’t want to give you a handout. I want to take care of you because I’m in love with you. If we continue the way we’re headed well, something more serious is bound to happen and I won’t want you to work at that time anyway. So why not accept it today and we can start our life off truly together?”

Oh, he made it sound so easy and it
was
easy. For him.

For her, not so much.

“You’re just...you’re moving so fast, Justin. I have a life you know. I just can’t ditch it all to be with you.”

He appeared truly hurt and she instantly felt contrite for saying it. “You’re right, I understand. I need to back off and give you some time.”

“No, don’t back off, please.” She clutched his hand, leaning in close so she could kiss him. He let her though his expression was still pained. “You just need to realize that not everyone has the resources you do to live. I need to make plans, take my time and figure out what’s going to happen next.”

Justin drew in a deep breath and shook his head. “I want you to know that I never act like this. You can ask any of my friends, former teammates, coaches, my poor dead grandmother, anyone who knows me. They’d tell you I’m as cool as a cucumber and I let nothing ruffle me. With the exception of you.” He paused and glanced down at their still connected hands before he continued.

“
You
ruffle me, Stephanie. You make me say and do things I would never consider saying or doing before. And sometimes I have to admit, I don’t like it.”

At least he was being honest. She appreciated him that much more. “Can I tell you a secret?”

He lifted his head and his gaze met hers, pinning her to the spot. “Absolutely.”

She adjusted herself so her mouth was just at his ear. “I love that you act this way, that I do this to you, that I have this much power over you even when I don’t mean to. Because you throw me off center too, you know. Tilt me completely off my axis and make it awfully hard for me to see straight. Not that I regret it, oh no. I absolutely love it.”

“Doesn’t that sound great?” She smiled. She meant what she said. Better they figure it out together than all alone and floundering.

“Actually, yes it does.” He kissed her one more time, his mouth lingering, making her want so much more but she could tell he had a purpose to his movements. “You want to go with me to the store? I want to pick up a few things for dinner tonight.”

They laughed together and Stephanie sent Justin on his way, opting to stay at the house instead. She’d done it on purpose, wanting to wander around his house alone so she could get an even better feel for it.

She had a feeling that sooner rather than later this would be her future home.

Grabbing the remaining Sunday newspaper from the countertop she thumbed through it, checking to see if she missed anything else. The
City Magazine
Sunday supplement was nestled amongst the sales papers and she pulled it out to give it a glance.

She dropped it so fast to the floor it was as if the paper was on fire and had scalded her fingers.

Pressing trembling hands to her heated cheeks, she stared at the front page of the special Sunday supplement issue of
City.
The regular issue had been released on the newsstands yesterday and she hadn’t seen it but they always had a related article.

And oh, good God almighty, she and Justin had to be the related article. They just had to be.

Since their photo was on the front cover of the supplement. Along with the screaming headline,
Sex scandal tell-all.

The photo depicted the two of them holding hands, their backs to the camera but there was no mistaking it was she and Justin. They photo had to be taken when they were in New York, that night they’d walked to the restaurant and she’d thought she spotted a flash in the dark.

Zoe had sold her out. Right there in black and white was her name and her photo again, this time with Justin at the restaurant where they ate that first night in New York. The article was just a tease, done so to help sell copies of the actual magazine and it certainly worked its magic.

It alluded to an outrageous sexual relationship with Justin that she’d begun only because of who he was. How she wrote articles on a weekly basis that exposed their wild sexual encounters. Quotes from the articles made her sound like a lurid, non-caring slut.

When she finished reading, Stephanie slowly shut the magazine. Her eyes closed as she took a deep, shuddering breath.

This was not good. It was an absolute disaster. And if the supplement article was this bad, then the real thing had to be at least twice as awful.

The shit had really hit the fan now.

Panic clawed at her throat and nausea made her stomach swim. Justin was going to freak. Resting her head in her hands, she closed her eyes, felt tears prick each corner behind her lids.

She should’ve told him, she should’ve let him in on it when she’d contemplated telling him the truth. But no, she hadn’t been able to work up the courage, had been too chicken shit to just come right out and say it.

Now she was going to regret her mistake, big time. No way could she redeem herself. She would look like she had something to hide.

And in a way, she had. But not like this. Never like this.

Stephanie waited in agonized anticipation of Justin’s return, hoping against hope he didn’t spot the magazine while at the market. She washed dishes, cleaned the counters and even took out the garbage in order to make the time pass.

But still Justin didn’t show back up.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity she spotted him pulling into the driveway, emerging from his car with a dark expression on his face. He didn’t even bother bringing any bags into the house.

No, but he did have a
City
magazine clutched in his right hand.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

Breathing deep, she tried to prepare herself for what she knew would be a verbal assault but she was in the dark as to how he would react, what he would say.

So she did the only thing she could think of. Thought of what
she
would say, how she would explain everything to him. Maybe he would see her perspective, understand where she was coming from, how this all came about.

The door that led to the garage slammed with a tremendous bang and Justin entered the kitchen, all fury and fierceness, stopping just in front of her. His stance was that of a pissed off warrior, his legs spread and with one hand resting on his hip while the other had the magazine clutched tight in his fingers.

“What the fuck is this?” he roared.

* * *

Stephanie flinched at his harsh words but Justin couldn’t stop himself even if he tried. And right now, damn it, he really didn’t want to try.

He wanted some fucking answers. And he wanted them now.

“Tell me, Stephanie, what this article is all about? And why the hell were you writing it and didn’t even bother telling me?”

What a fool he was. Shopping in the local grocery store with pure determination, eager to get back to his house and Stephanie, he’d noticed a few discreet snickers and whispers behind hands but thought nothing of it. The locals treated him as one of their own. They rarely made a big deal about his appearance around town so he was a little surprised by their reactions.

Then when he’d approached the checkout stand and saw that local magazine right there, front and center with a picture of him and Stephanie on the cover, he’d known immediately what they’d been talking about.

Especially when the headline on the front of the magazine fairly screamed the words,
Former Baseball Player’s Sexploits Documented!

Embarrassed as hell he’d bought the fucking magazine and nothing else, then sat in his car and tried to read it.

Disgust had filled him with every word he consumed and he’d quit reading, so close to tearing the magazine into shreds. But he’d held onto his control. He knew he had to talk to Stephanie, confront her with this piece of shit and ask her what the hell.

So far, she wasn’t giving him any forthcoming information. Not good.

“I—I was given an opportunity by my editor to write my own column and she wanted it to be about the trials and tribulations of a young and single woman living in San Francisco,” Stephanie finally started, her voice shaky, her gaze unable to meet his.

“Go on.” He dropped the magazine onto the counter where it landed with a loud and final slap. He crossed his arms in front of his chest, trying to control his fury.

“She wanted me to focus on a recent survey the magazine had conducted about the sexual fantasies of men and women. I was at the party that night hoping to meet someone, experiment a little and try out a fantasy or two. She knew I didn’t normally do stuff like that. I swear she set me up to fail and I was about to fail when I ran into you.”

He watched her, noticed how she’d shrunken in to herself with her shoulders hunched and her head bowed.

“And then you acted like you liked me, as if you were attracted me and I thought why not? Why not have wild sex with this man and then walk away from him, never to see him again?

“But that’s not how it worked, you know this. And I continued to write my articles, anonymously, of course. I’d been assured countless times my identity wouldn’t be revealed until finally I realized I couldn’t do it anymore.”

He snorted. “Yeah, right.”

“It’s true! I talked to Zoe a couple of weeks ago and told her I couldn’t continue like this, deceiving you. She asked me to write one more article and then it was going to be over. I’ve been moved back to the home and lifestyle section of the magazine.”

“The section you told me you worked for in the first place.” She’d lied to him from the start.

And that hurt like hell.

Her gaze met his for the briefest moment before she looked away. “Right, I know, I lied to you and I’m sorry but I didn’t know how to tell you I was writing an article about us.”

“About our freaking sex life, Stephanie. So you told your editor who I was and then you all decided to go ahead and publish this? Do the big reveal about the injured baseball player and all his kinks? His vulnerabilities?” Justin shook his head, thrusting a hand through his hair in frustration. “I was such an idiot to trust you. I’ve never really trusted anyone until I met you and look where it got me.”

“No, Justin, you don’t understand! I never told Zoe who I was with. I have no clue how they figured it out!”

He wanted to believe her, he really did. But he’d been duped before and the thing that bothered him the most was he thought he could trust her.

Unfortunately, he’d been completely wrong.

“Well how did they find out then? And they were in New York, Stephanie. Those pictures were taken when we were together in
New York.
Did you tell them you would be there with me? Did you give them some insider information so they could get their photos for this article? No one would believe you without proof, right?”

“No, I never told her anything I swear to God!” Tears streamed down her cheeks, the sight of them tugging at his heart but he pushed that emotion aside.

Fuck the heartstrings, the woman had been tugging on them since he first met her and it had all been complete and utter bullshit.