Indulgent Pleasures (33 page)

Using him per the norm. Every person who’d ever been in his life had used him in some form or another. Even his beloved grandmother, bless her heart, had used him to a point. And he’d gladly let her since she’d given him her love in return.

But no one else had ever given him any type of love. Or any type of emotion for that matter. They just took and took and took, expected everything from him while he was supposed to get nothing out of the deal.

Finally, he met a woman who he thought was different and she ended up just like the rest. Only even worse because she exposed everything they shared in a fucking magazine. Made what they had into something cheap and sleazy.

He’d never felt so stupid, so goddamned crushed in all his life.

“You’re a liar,” he finally said, his voice tight, his words clipped. “Maybe you didn’t know who I was when we first got together but you figured it out pretty fast afterward. And you continued it, documented every single thing we did and made it look cheap and shitty all to see your name in the magazine.”

“No, my name wasn’t in the magazine, I wrote the article under a pen name! No one knew who I was and that’s the way I wanted it.” She went to him and tried to touch him but he flinched away from her seeking hands. “You have to believe me. Somehow, some way Zoe and Caleb figured out what was going on and they followed us and got the pictures of us. Then they wrote this article about what I was doing and exposed our names, our faces, everything.”

“Right. You got exactly what you wanted, automatic fame. I hope you’re happy.”

“Justin, please listen to me.” She was full-on crying now, sobbing really, as she tried to catch her breath and explain. He held strong, kept his mouth tight, didn’t want to show any type of reaction to her outpouring of emotions.

Because deep down inside he wanted to haul her into his arms and offer her comfort. He wanted to hold her close and touch her, tell her how much he loved her anyway and that everything would be all right.

But everything wasn’t going to be all right, not between them. She’d broken their trust, done the ultimate betrayal and he felt so completely foolish he didn’t even want to face the public for the next few days.

Most likely, it would get worse before it got better. The national publications would catch wind of this and run with it.

Just fucking great.

Chapter Thirty-One

He’d kicked her out. Justin hadn’t wanted to hear her explanations. His handsome face had been a stony mask and he’d shot her a cold stare as she stood before him with tears streaming down her face. His body held rigid, his arms crossed in front of his broad chest, he’d let her talk until she was nearly blue in the face and then told her in a cold, calculating voice, “Get out.”

That had been two days ago. She hadn’t heard from him since. Though
City Magazine
certainly had.

The shit had hit the fan immediately. Justin’s lawyers made contact with both the managing editor and the publisher first thing Monday morning, she’d heard through the grapevine. Stephanie had called in sick to work, unable to face anyone, needing to stay home and figure out what to do next.

Her sisters had called, they’d actually ganged up on her on speaker phone so they could harass and question her. After enduring it for too many minutes to count, she’d hung up. And she’d told the both of them to screw off if they couldn’t stand by her during this difficult time.

Much like Justin, they hadn’t wanted to listen to her explanations. No, they’d argued with her every time she had something to say. Like a stab to the heart, they withdrew their request of her help in planning their parents’ anniversary party. Erin had proclaimed that her being there would be disturbing to everyone in attendance, especially their mom and dad.

She hadn’t heard from her parents, either. No doubt, they were in hiding from their country club friends after their daughter’s sex life was exposed in such a deplorable and sleazy way.

So she was left alone, as usual. Always there for others yet they abandoned her at the first chance they got. She and Justin were similar in that way though she’d never noticed it before.

People using them and they received nothing in return.

She walked into the
City
building first thing Tuesday morning and kept her head down, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. Didn’t want to have to explain herself or see the pitying glances or worse, the smug expressions.

Curiosity suddenly filled her and she wondered what happened to Zoe and Caleb. She’d noticed their byline on the article in the supplement and the magazine and she still couldn’t believe they were the ones who ratted her out.

Well that was a lie, she
could
believe it. Caleb hated her guts and Zoe had wanted Justin once upon a time. They’d come together and done this to her out of spite. Spite and a spectacular scoop that they most likely hoped would get them ahead.

Well they got what they wanted in spades.

But it was still shocking. And disheartening. To be so betrayed by the people she worked with, especially her boss who she’d put her trust in. She didn’t know what to think and really didn’t know how to face them.

Thank goodness, she’d moved back over to the life and style section just before this broke out. No more sitting next to Caleb every day and seeing his smirking, smug face.

When she sat at her desk, she was approached by her new boss, Melanie. “The managing editor wants to meet with you in the boardroom.”

God, were they going to fire her? She gulped and stood, headed toward the small boardroom on the same floor as her department, nerves bouncing in her stomach.

The managing editor wasn’t alone. Tom Strickland was accompanied by the publisher and CEO of
City Magazine,
Edmund Gray. They both watched her sit across from them with somber expressions on their faces and she thought for sure the ax was about to fall.

“We want to apologize for what happened,” Tom started.

“After the agreement you signed, it should’ve never played out like this,” Edmund added, shaking his head.

Stephanie sat up straighter in her chair, her entire body more alert. That’s right, she’d signed an agreement when they’d finalized her pen name.

“Zoe Rush mishandled the entire situation and should have never broken your confidence. Matters have been investigated and as of this morning, Ms. Rush was terminated from
City Magazine.
”

Stephanie shook her head, disbelief coursing through her. So they fired Zoe. Unbelievable! She figured the magazine would’ve been thrilled with the sensationalized cover and article. It was probably selling like crazy.

“What about Caleb?”

“He’s been terminated as well,” Edmund said, his mouth set in a grim line. “They were caught—fraternizing on employer premises Monday morning and the both of them were sent home. After much discussion it was decided that both of them should be terminated.”

Stephanie slowly nodded, her hands clutched in her lap beneath the table. Did they want to terminate her too?

“Again, we’re sorry for what happened, Stephanie. We plan on printing a retraction and apology in the upcoming issue to both you and Justin Hawkins. His lawyers were in touch with us as well yesterday and I’m afraid he’s going to sue us. And he definitely has a case,” Tom explained.

Her eyes closed for the briefest moment, grief nearly overwhelming her. She’d been so stupid to continue this for so long, to never tell him what she was doing. Now look what it was costing everyone. Jobs, reputations, money.

And it was all her fault.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to give my notice effective immediately.” She needed to beat them to the punch. “There’s no way I can continue working here after everything that has happened.”

“We hate to lose you Stephanie. You were a wonderful asset to the life and style section, to the entire magazine,” Tom said with kind eyes.

She wondered if he read her article. She wondered if the both of them had read it. Her entire sex life recounted in that article, almost every intimate moment she’d shared with Justin detailed in the pages within
City Magazine.

Just the thought of them reading it was embarrassing, something she didn’t want to face. Something she didn’t think she’d have to face since the articles were written under complete anonymity.

“I think it’s best if I go.” She smiled weakly, her gaze wandering, unable to face them any longer. “I hope you understand.”

“Of course, we completely understand.” Edmund nodded. “We want to offer you a severance package to help you during this time while you look for another job. It’s the least we could do.” The amount he stated was staggering but of course, she could have a case on her hands if she wanted to sue them. They were in breach of the confidentiality agreement she signed.

She wouldn’t do it, didn’t want to go through the heartache of reliving it. Of thinking of Justin.

No way could she stay at
City
and face everyone, deal with the outcome of this situation. She needed to get out now and find something else.

Somewhere else where they won’t care if she looked like a raging, stupid slut who enjoyed blabbing.

“Thank you, I appreciate the offer.”

They stood and she did as well, more than ready to escape. She nodded and smiled politely at their pat wishes of good luck and again with the apologies. Then she ducked and ran, headed back to her desk so she could clean it out and get the heck out of there.

Luckily, one of the receptionists had a box at her desk and Stephanie snagged it, filling it with her personal items. Sadness seeped through her as she loaded up the box, not at leaving the job but at absolutely everything that had happened to her.

One minute she’d been on top of the world with the most perfect man who loved her. And the next he was telling her to get out, her sexual exploits were advertised for all of the Pacific Northwest to read and she’d quit her job.

Crazy.

After loading the box with her belongings and saying a few quick goodbyes, she left the office, walking briskly through the maze of halls to get to the bank of elevators on the south side of the building.

And ran smack dab into Caleb who was also carting a box full of stuff. Unlike her he was accompanied by a big, burly security guard with a stern expression on his face.

Caleb looked mad enough to spit. “I should’ve never trusted that bitch either. Look where she got me after all of her promises? That’ll teach me to believe a word any woman has to say.”

His hatred for women was palpable and Stephanie shifted away, not wanting to get too close. “You need to take responsibility for your actions. You cost me my job and reputation too, you know.”

“Oh, fuck off. You were the one screwing the macho baseball player and not smart enough to tell the world all about it. Your romantic crappy articles make me want to puke.”

She started to walk away. She didn’t even acknowledge what he said. He didn’t deserve it.

“If you and that jock stay together, be prepared. I’m going to L.A. I’ve already landed a job there. We’ll be tailing your asses if you’re ever down south.”

This time Stephanie did walk away and she didn’t bother looking back, either. She hated Caleb, had never liked him and after what he did to her, she was smart not to like him.

The man sabotaged her relationship and her job. He had no scruples.

Most likely, Justin thought the same thing about her. And that hurt more than she cared to admit or even think about.

Tears pricked her eyes and she shook her head, trying to push past them. No use crying now. She’d cried her eyes out most of Sunday and all of Monday. She didn’t know she had that many tears to shed.

And all over a man. But not just any man, a man she fell in love with.

She was still in love with him, despite the fact that he hated her.

Did he really hate her? Was he so angry he never wanted to see her again? She couldn’t blame him though she guessed it still made her angry that he was so stubborn he didn’t even want to listen to her explanations. She’d been just as deceived as he was but he hadn’t wanted to hear it. He hadn’t wanted to believe it, either.

There was a fine line between love and hate. Wasn’t there a movie titled that? Or a song? Well, truer words had never spoken.

And as a sob escaped past her lips, Stephanie realized she would never be able to get Justin back. Not if he hated her just as much as she loved him.

It would be impossible.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Justin stared at the ocean view spread out before him, scrubbing a hand over his face as his lawyer’s words penetrated the fog in his brain.

She didn’t know this article was coming out. Stephanie Shaw signed a contract keeping her identity a secret with the magazine. She was duped just as you were.

“So what you’re saying is that she didn’t know the cover story was coming out.” His voice sounded flat, lifeless.

Much like he’d felt the last few days. Ever since his world had come crashing down around him.