Indwell (Chasing Natalie's Ghosts) (31 page)

I looked back at Carlos and knew he was with me. He wasn’t going to let me do this completely alone. He was well aware of the fact that Hayden would never allow me to seek out Adam on my own. I would do it alone if I had to though. Carlos touched my shoulders then sat back. I would have to find Adam and his followers as soon as I returned. I would have to track him. How can I do that without him seeing me? That would be the hard part. I realized, as we were driving back to the Inn that I would have to personally transport him here after I captured him. I would have to extinguish Adam’s light. The thought sent a single tear drop down my cheek. Clive noticed but quickly looked away. He understood what was running through my mind. Clive would help me as much as he could, from a distance. He didn’t get his hands dirty. He had to make sure the finances were secure and the Seekers were well trained. His job was very important. I didn’t blame him for not coming to help me. I was in control of this mission. They had wanted Adam years ago, but were delayed. Now they knew I would bring him home.

We pulled onto the lane leading to the Inn. I quickly collected my thoughts. I wouldn’t let Hayden know where my head was. I glanced at Clive and he smiled at me. He reached over and held my hand.

“I will be here for you Natalie. Anything you need, just call me,” he said as he gave me a gentle squeeze as he turned off the jeep. Carlos leaned forward, placing his hand on the nape of my neck. Clive jumped out and distracted Hayden as Carlos told me where he would meet me back in America. He gave me his cell number. I quickly placed it in my pocket. I tapped Carlos’ hand as I stepped out of the jeep to meet Hayden. I ran into his arms. I wanted to feel his warmth and security. He quickly wrapped his arms around me.

“Are you okay?” he asked patting me down, looking for broken bones.

“I’m fine darling, I had a great day. Carlos taught me to fly. You should have seen me,” I smiled as I kissed him. He returned my enthusiasm. As we turned to walk towards the Inn I noticed everyone was already inside. I pulled him closer to me. I was so happy to have him near me. For now he was all I could focus on. As soon as we returned home I would not be able too.

At dinner that night Elizabeth came over to talk to me. Hayden was busy talking with Edmund and hadn’t notice.

“I know there is something going on and I know it involves you. Clive is infatuated with you Natalie.” I tried to deny her accusation but she quickly shushed me by placing her finger against my lips. I stared at her. She didn’t flinch.

“I just want you to know that I will do anything to keep him safe. I don’t want him to consider leaving the Inn to fly to your aid. He has many enemies outside of this place. So I have to make sure this mission he has planned for you ends as soon as possible. I will join you in America. He will never notice. He will be too busy trying to help you here to notice that I have gone. I will be traveling with Carlos,” she said this as she slinked back into the crowd. I would never have imagined her joining forces with me. I was still in shock as Hayden put his arms around me.

“What did she want?” he asked as he kissed my ear.

“She was just asking me when we planned on leaving,” I responded as I kissed his neck. I felt him shudder and that made me smile. He was such a distraction.

On the flight back home I was not feeling as good as I thought I would be. The worst is yet to come, I thought. The cruelest part of all this was that I couldn’t talk to Hayden about it. I needed to talk to Carlos soon. He would help me through this. The thought of the phantoms that were awaiting my return sent a cold shiver through me as I sat on the plane, looking out the window. The image of the man standing in front of the car looking in at me the night we left flashed before me. Time away had only given them the chance to spread the rumors that I could see, hear and feel them like they were alive. Who would be waiting to welcome me home? At least Hayden would be aware of this, I trusted him to keep me safe. At times on the flight back, Hayden seemed lost in thought too. I worried that he knew what was going on. He was extremely perceptive. This I did not question or take for granted. His senses were very strong compared to the other Seekers I met. He has had many years to hone them.

If he knew about Adam, he wasn’t telling me. Maybe he was just giving me space, to see how far I’ll go on my own. I didn’t think he knew Elizabeth and Carlos would be fighting with me.

As we stepped out of the plane and onto the boat that would return us to Hayden’s Miata parked near the dock, I could hear them. I could feel them guarding it, ready to report our arrival. I wanted to scream. I was livid, but I wouldn’t let Hayden know how angry I was. I was so ready to crush these infantile ghosts. They had no power over me anymore. I can recognize them now. They can’t trick me. I was ready. I glared at the shore as the boat raced towards it. Hayden watched me tense as I focused. He knew what was waiting for us but I think he was surprised by my reaction. I was having trouble hiding my emotions, I couldn’t hide my anger. I knew I had to be ready to face them. Hayden wrapped his arms around me, covering me with his long black coat. He looked straight ahead. He was going to defend me no matter what I had planned. I held his arms and closed my eyes. I was truly blessed to have him and Carlos on my side.

18. A FAIRYTALE

As I stepped off of the boat holding Hayden’s hand I smiled. I heard them gasp. They seemed to know I had changed. I could hear them whispering to each other.

“Do you think we should wait?” one of them asked.

“Yeah, I think we should report back that she is here and she doesn’t seem as naïve as they said she would be.” I felt their energy vanish. I was thrilled that I had unnerved them. They would report to Adam, but he wouldn’t be surprised.

I felt a rush of relief as Hayden unlocked the apartment door and I entered the familiar room. I flopped down on the couch and sighed.
“Welcome home baby,” Hayden said as he put down the suitcases. He sat down beside me and cradled me as he kissed my neck.

“I am so happy to be back here with you,” he whispered in my ear. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. I remembered then that I had to call my mother, but I would do that later. Right now I had my beautiful Hayden all to myself. There were no supersonic ears around. Now he was all mine. I was in heaven. No afterlife could ever compare to this. I reached my arm around and pulled his face towards me. I kissed him deeply, like I needed his breath to live. He was all I needed.

In the morning Hayden was already up and dressed by the time I lazily wrapped his robe around myself and walked out to the kitchen.

“Good morning love,” he said from the couch.

“Good morning lover,” I said as I sat down beside him. He was reading the morning newspaper. I noticed for the first time that he circled stories that may have included phantoms. I was surprised that I hadn’t noticed this before. A number of unsolved crimes in town could easily have been done by phantoms. I understood clearly how the news would be helpful. I read over his shoulder. He didn’t seem to mind. After a while he folded the paper and set it down.

“How did you sleep?” he asked, looking into my eyes.

“I slept without a single disturbance,” I smiled at his concern. I was so thrilled to be home. This was my home now too.

I called my mother that afternoon. It was strange that after all I had just been through that I could still feel so wounded after talking to her. For all the light in the world, nothing could keep me from feeling her pain. All the pain I felt as a damaged little girl came rushing back to me. I curled up into a fetal position on the bed as I hung up the phone. I laid there crying silent tears. I didn’t even hear Hayden walk into the room. He picked me up and held me in his arms, the way he knew I loved to be held. I was having trouble dealing with the pain I could hear in my mother’s voice. I could tell by the way she slurred her words that her lips were swollen. Of course she told me she was fine, like she always does. She informed me that Luke was seeing a counselor. The school he was enrolled in felt that something was
wrong
with him. He was smart but couldn’t sit still or focus. They told her he was aggressive to other students. He was troubled. Why wouldn’t he be?

She told me she had talked to John, he was living with friends. He was content. I knew he would be. I told her I was happy here with Hayden. I confessed to her that he was the most amazing man I had ever met. When I told her that he spoils me, she laughed. I didn’t want her to worry about me, but she doesn’t trust Hayden.

“They all start out adoring you, don’t let that fool you. If he ever starts to hurt you, leave while you can.” She seemed convinced that I would eventually be hurt by him. She had no idea that it was possible for a man to be beautiful, inside as well as out. I cried for her. She would never know true love. A love that was untainted, pure and pleasurable. An element of pain didn’t have to be present. I wished she would be free of him. Why did she continually have to bear such agony? It wasn’t fair.

Why didn’t my father stop hurting her? Why didn’t he know that what he was doing was wrong? I was strong enough to kill him now. I admit I thought about it. I wanted too. He didn’t deserve her. He didn’t deserve us. We were such agreeable children, we studied, we worked hard and we never talked back. That is until he pushed us too far. Why were we never good enough? I realize now that nothing would ever make him happy. We could have had angels’ wings and he still would have beaten us. It wasn’t our fault, it wasn’t my mother’s fault, it was always him and his messed up mind. I knew it really wasn’t even him, it was something out of his control, just like these demons I had to capture. Their actions were out of their control. It wasn’t the person that was born into this world. It was this new one that took over, craving power and pain, living in a constant torment.

Hayden rubbed my back as I cried. I knew I had to be strong, I had to focus. Carlos and Elizabeth would be here soon. I had to be the Seeker they trained me to be. I couldn’t give up. I had to come up with a plan. I had to know what to do. I can do this. I wiped the tears from my eyes and hugged Hayden. He only wanted to support and console me. He wouldn’t question me. He has known for a long time the pain my father has inflicted on us. He kissed my forehead and helped me up. I walked out and sat on the sofa. Hayden gave me a cup of tea and sat beside me.

“Can I get you anything else?” he asked nervously. I smiled weakly.

“No thank you, I am going to be okay. It just always hurts, like a punch in the stomach. I’ll be alright soon. I just need some time,” I sighed. He nodded, I knew he understood.

“I will always be here for you Natalie. You don’t have to suffer alone anymore. I hope you realize that. I am always going to be here for you.”

I have been broken for so many years. I have lost myself many times over my short eighteen years. Hayden is my life support, just like I thought Adam was once. I had to hold on to him as tight as I could. I wanted to scream, I wanted to shout. I wanted to claw my way out of this darkness. I wanted everything to be alright. I wanted my mother to be married to a nice man. I wanted Luke to be the sensitive, creative boy he could be. I wanted John to have been the star of the college football team. I wanted John to have stayed home. I wanted to be the girl that wore the black cap and gown to her high school graduation and celebrated with her childhood friends. I wanted to be thinking about what courses I was going to take in the fall and who my roommate was going to be. Instead I was planning on capturing my undead lover and extinguishing his Light.

The dreams returned to me again that night. In Argentina I was given a reprieve, but now they were back with a vengeance. This time the path had changed slightly. It wasn’t as dense and I could see houses in the distance as I walked alone. Hayden and Adam were nowhere to be seen. I was alone and I knew what was coming. I couldn’t see them but I could hear the air move around them. I would be able to see them soon. They were moving fast. They were on a mission and nothing would distract them. They were after me. I sensed that they were not trying to kill me. They were going to bring me somewhere. I looked around wondering if there was anywhere I could hide but I knew they would be able to find me. I tried to stay strong. I breathed deeply and listened. All I had to do was stare them down, I told myself. The Light was my power now I just had to harness it. I started to run towards them. I saw them now. They were slightly surprised and amused by my bold response. I could hardly breathe as I clenched my fists and screamed. It wasn’t a scream of fright it was a scream of aggression.

I bolted up and saw Hayden standing at the side of the bed staring at me in shock. I was sweating and shaking. Hayden held his arms out for me as he crawled onto the bed beside me. He was moving slowly like he was afraid of me. He wasn’t sure if I was completely awake or not.

“I’m sorry,” I said as I reached for him. He held me so tight and so close. I had scared him.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Your dream has changed. I know something is coming too but I don’t like the thought of you putting yourself in such danger. I wasn’t with you in this dream was I?” he asked as he looked down at me. I shook my head. I didn’t want to talk to Hayden about this. I don’t want to lie to him but I couldn’t let him know I was planning on hunting Adam. He used a cloth to wash my face and wipe the sweat from the nape of my neck.

“I will not let you tempt fate alone Natalie. Remember that,” he warned as he walked out of the room. He sensed I had something planned. He probably knew Carlos and Elizabeth were coming. Hayden came back into the room with a glass of water for me. He was so nice even when he was upset.

“Thank you,” I moaned.

“We will talk more about this later but I have to prepare for tonight’s capture today. I have to go out for a few hours this evening. Clive has called me with a small nuisance he wants taken care of quickly before it becomes messy,” he informed me.