Inevitable (28 page)

Who the fuck was I kidding? I wanted to open the door and demand she listen to me.

I couldn’t fucking let go of the handle
.
What I wanted to do was go back inside the room and demand she fucking communicate with me, but she’d removed that as an option. After everything I’d told her, I couldn’t believe she’d pulled that card on me, I’d never inflicted pain on a woman in my fucking life, unless they were going to gain pleasure from it. I’d never knowingly used my strength and control on a woman who hadn’t asked me to, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to start now.

I wasn’t and never would be my fucking step-father!

I jogged down to the lot as fast as my leg would let me and started to get the bike ready to leave. I shoved my rucksack into the holder and stared briefly at the empty one on the opposite side. I couldn’t believe we were fucking here again. Taking a deep breath, I stared up at the sky, taking in the change of colours. The sun would be rising soon.

‘FUCK… not again, Bella.’ I was speaking to myself as I slammed the palm of my hand on the gas tank.

Would we ever be able to leave our pasts behind us?

I was more determined than ever, that we would. This was our time and whether she liked it or not, I would make her fucking listen to me, but not now. Fate pulled me somewhere else for now, but it was inevitable that we would be together, of that I was goddamn certain. I for once had the fucking loyalty I needed, to stand the fuck up and help someone I loved to deal with their shit. I needed to for her sake and for my own.

I ran my hand through my hair before pulling my lid down over my head. I turned the keys and the engine turned over. I flung my leg over and got my ass comfortable. Slowly I moved the bike to the road. Just before I pulled away, I took one more look at our closed door.

Of course she hadn’t goddamn opened it. Look away, stupid fucker.

I turned the handle grip forward, over and over, revving the normally quiet running engine and pulled out of the lot with as much control as I could manage. I didn’t look back.

The roar of the engine fed my addicted soul, and I let the bike goddamn rip open beneath me, passing a couple of hours. But the ride felt fucking empty, she wasn’t behind me and it hurt like fuck.

I pressed a couple of buttons on the console. Luckily the bike was equipped with its own cell built in.

‘Morish.’ I heard the familiar voice of the guy I was as close to as my brothers. The nickname he used for me was to do with the ladies always wanting more of me than I was willing to give. The guys at the track thought it was a great play on my name.
Assholes.

‘Brock… how far away are you, man?’ I questioned him.

‘We’ve just landed… picking up the car now… so I reckon about two hours.’

‘You’re a clutch, man I appreciate your help… look after her for me.’

‘Yeah, you as usual owe me a few beers…’ I could hear him thinking, and clicking his tongue in his mouth. ‘What’s different about this one, dude? For months you’ve been shagging everything you could get your hands on, but nothing scratched the itch, she comes back and now you’re running away?’

I laughed at the futility of it all. ‘Now you’re goddamn asking something… she’s… well she’s fucking everything… she doesn’t understand that… yet.’ I heard him offer me a deep laugh, an all knowing laugh.

‘Never did I think I’d see the day… so why the hell am I babysitting her and not you?’

‘I’m meeting Alex… we’re going to sort out a bastard from her past… I want her as far away as fucking possible… do you think you can do that for me, dude?’

‘Sure. I’m good at running from my past, I sure as hell can do the same for Bella… sorry… Frankie,’ he replied with a laugh.

‘Thanks, Brock… say hi to Max for me… I’ll contact ya soon.’

‘Just get the fuck back to California like ASAP, we have a race to train for and win.’

‘Got it… See ya.’ I pressed the call end button.

Pulling the bike over I reached into my pocket, fished out Bella’s phone and opened it. The photo that came up had me fucking reeling. It was a photo of me sleeping next to her on the goddamn waterbed. It hit me in the gut like a sucker punch. I pushed up the arms on my bike leathers and squeezed my wrist cuffs to my skin, feeling a sense of calm as the scar tissue was scuffed. I could feel my knife in my boot, behind my tendon, teasing my bare skin with its soft leather sheath.

I sent Frankie a quick text. I knew Alex would be pissed with me, for waking her early, but knowing her she would be awake anyway and worried about everyone else.

Phone her please. She needs you, chocolate drop. Call my cell, I’ve got hers. Nathan
. I dropped the phone back into my pocket.

Instinct took over as I revved the bike again and pulled out as fast as I could, racing towards my brothers and the bastard that I was going to tear a new fucking asshole, but only if he pleaded with me nicely.

BELLA

T
he sense of loss was overwhelming. The room was devoid of the one presence I needed and wanted in my life. I had cried non-stop for what seemed like hours. The sobs leaving my body had physically wracked through me. Never before had I been so stupid in trying to protect myself.

How could I have believed that forcing him away would be for the best?

How could I have told him he frightened me?

Disgust with myself, was the strongest feeling coursing through my veins at that moment. I trusted him with my life. I had witnessed the hurt in his expression and the revulsion in his eyes, as I lied to him.

I took a look at my surroundings, slightly shaking my head in disbelief as I stared up at the stained ceiling. I couldn’t believe we had got to this again. Frankly I had never been more disappointed in myself. I wasn’t proud to admit, to myself at least, that my stubborn pride and reluctance to not get hurt again had taken a tight hold of me, but this was the first time I actually realised just how self-destructive that had become. In trying to protect myself, I had forced away once again the only man I had ever loved.

I made myself get up. I needed a shower and to have my stuff ready to go, the moment Brock and his son turned up for me. I wasn’t going to let anyone down ever again, not Nathan and especially not myself.

It took me close to an hour to shower, tidy up the room and gather my few belongings. In doing so, I kept glancing at the wall where only yesterday we had practically devoured each other, yet it seemed like a lifetime ago. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, I tried to work out whether my churning stomach actually required food, or if I would just need to throw up if I ate anything. I was going to eat. I wasn’t going to be a burden on Brock and his son, not after they had unwittingly got mixed up in my bloody past as well.

Nathan’s phone started to vibrate with an incoming call. Looking at the screen I could see it was Frankie calling. I swiped the screen with my finger and placed it to my ear as I watched out of the dirty window, the sun had risen above the buildings in front of the motel.

A brand new day, a brand new me.

‘Hi, gorgeous girl,’ I spoke.

‘Are you OK?’

‘No… but if I ever see Nathan again and he gives me a chance to apologise… then just maybe I will be.’

‘Oh, Bella… what am I going to do with you two?’ I heard her let out a sad sigh. By the sounds coming through to me on the phone she had just sat herself down heavily on something comfortable.

‘Loving someone is… hard, isn’t it?’ I questioned. I was running my fingertips up and down the peeling paintwork to the side of the window, relishing the feel of the rough, cracked texture. I loved Nate’s calloused fingers on my skin and I quickly removed my hand as my thoughts went back to him, yet again.

‘Only when you make it that way. If you would just open up to him and if you love him enough to trust in what he tells you… then it’s the easiest thing on earth,’ she sighed at the end of her sentence, and I just knew that Alex had entered her head.

‘What has you awake at this ungodly hour, anyway?’ I questioned, making sure my voice no longer had the pitiful sad tone I had been speaking with earlier.

‘Nate just text, asking me to call you… he didn’t wake me… carrying this enormous child, that seems to want to play rugby with my bladder, does that all by itself.’ She laughed gently at her joke.

‘You don’t seem to be at all surprised that I’ve blown it again and that he’s left me?’

‘Well as I know he’s riding back to meet Alex, Scott and Hunter, I wouldn’t be surprised at that, now would I? I didn’t know however, that you two needed your heads knocking together again until I got his text. Which was a bit strange as it came from your mobile?’

‘Yeah he’s taken my phone… they think that Ioan has been tracking it and of course I’ve stupidly been using it and now they know where to find me… and no… no you’ve got that wrong.’ I heard my voice slipping back into the self-pitying tone that I had only just moments before managed to shake. ‘He has headed back to New York. The Jack Russell has an appointment with the doctor and he is going back to support her… she’s probably due around the same time as you, Frankie.’ I got the last bit out in between a few sobs that were once again pushing their way out of my body.

‘BELLA… STOP… you have got hold of the wrong end of the stick…’

‘I heard him, Frankie… he left her a message on the penthouse phone saying he would be around to support her and yes, you did hear that correctly, she is staying at his penthouse apartment.’ I made my way back to the bed and sat down in a dejected flop. I kicked my pumps back off my feet as I raised my legs and lay back down again on the bed.

‘Bella, he is traveling back to meet Alex and the others… they plan on confronting the Antonescus… are you listening to me and taking in what I’m saying to you?’ Her voice had taken on an assertive tone as she tried to break through my self-pitying bubble.

‘Oh my God!’ I pressed a hand to my mouth as the realisation hit me.

‘I don’t know what is wrong with Candy… but I don’t think she is carrying Nathan’s baby… obviously I don’t know one hundred percent, but I’m convinced he hasn’t been near her for a while… using the info I get from Alex,’ she added.

I didn’t say anything back for a few seconds, just letting my brain process what she had just said.

‘I was so cruel to him, Frankie… and all the time he was going to put himself in the firing line to save me from those bastards. I don’t think I can ever bloody forgive myself,’ I added, closing my eyes and trapping myself within my own thoughts.

‘You can and you will… he loves you… the two of you need each other more than oxygen, it’s obvious to anyone who sees you together. YOU just needed to recognise it, he realised way before you, but loved you enough to let you go and do what you felt you needed to do… he loved you enough to let you go and risk never having you back in his arms again. Trust him, Bella.’

‘Oh dear God, what have I done?’ I wasn’t really asking her, but questioning my own hurtful actions from earlier.

‘You can put it right… get in the car and go with Brock to California… they will all return from this, Bella… they have to.’ I heard her inner most thoughts in that statement and once again my guilt rose up inside of me. So many people putting their lives on the line for mine, was completely overwhelming and painful all at the same time.

We chatted on for a while, trying to talk about anything so our thoughts weren’t taken back to the men we loved, who as we spoke were travelling towards a showdown with the demonic bastard who raped a fifteen-year-old and the sadistic bastard who raised him and taught him all he knew. I had chosen the best person in the world to be my friend. She was worried about her new husband, growing daily with their child, and all she wanted to do was stay on the line to occupy me until Brock arrived. She told me all the gross details about her clinic appointments until she had me laughing as I lay on the bed chatting to her. I never did order breakfast.

‘I’m telling you, Bella… once you’ve been pregnant with everyone having a good look at you, and poking at all your intimate parts, you lose all sense of embarrassment. I love the appointments though as I get to watch Alex go into full-on jealous mode…’