Infinite (Strange and Beautiful, Book 1) (41 page)

However,
despite our discomfort inside the tiny booth, we all emerged with looks of
amusement as we waited for our pictures to come out. While we were waiting, I
made sure to stay hidden from view by standing in front of Mark, and I didn’t
dare sneak another peek in Jackson’s direction.

The
school system is full of a bunch of sadists. It was really the only
explanation. Why else would they torture students with finals right before
Christmas break? Instead of finishing last minute shopping, anticipating good
food and watching the pile of presents grow beneath the tree, we—the
students—were subjected to worry and stress while we crammed for exams and
hoped and prayed we’d pass.

Because
I had been preoccupied with other drama, I hadn’t thought much about finals,
but when I arrived at school on Monday morning I could feel the tension
beginning to rise. Even Luke had been subdued during the ride to school.

After
I asked what was wrong with him, he answered with a shudder, “Finals. I just
know I’m going to fail Algebra II.”

Luke
rarely ever let anything stress him out. If I didn’t know for a fact that he
had to take random drug tests throughout the year, I would have suspected he
was a pothead because he was so laid back most of the time. With him anxious
about finals, my worries began to sprout up because it probably wasn’t going to
be pretty.

On
my way to my locker, I decided I needed to talk strategy with Tegan. While my
grades were usually decent, Tegan was an honor student. Unlike at home on my
own, I was always able to stay focused on the task at hand when I studied with
Tegan. She didn’t allow me to wander off and do something else because I’d lost
interest in studying.

When
Tegan showed up at my locker, I started to launch into talking about our study
plan, but I stopped short when she held out a box wrapped in plain blue
wrapping paper. “But we’re not exchanging gifts until this weekend,” I said
when she shoved it toward me.

“It’s
not a Christmas present, and it’s not from me,” she said with a gleam in her
eyes.

“Who’s
it from then?”

“Jackson.”

My
eyes grew wide and I looked back down at the gift she was shoving toward me.
“Take it. It won’t bite,” she insisted.

“Are
you sure?” Tegan rolled her eyes at my uncertainty and shoved the present into
my reluctant hands.

“How
did you end up delivering it?” I asked, shaking the box slightly, but I didn’t
hear any noise from within. It wasn’t a large box, but it felt solid.

“Jackson
came to my locker and asked me to give it to you,” she answered. That gleam was
still there in her eyes. I wondered if she already knew what was inside.

“Why
didn’t he give it to me himself?”

“I
don’t know. Maybe he was afraid
you’d
bite,” she smirked.

“Funny.”
I stared down at the gift cautiously. I couldn’t fathom why he’d give me a gift
after our last conversation. 

“Open
it,” Tegan insisted. She sounded anxious and impatient, so I decided maybe she
didn’t know what was inside.

I
was gingerly tearing away the wrapping paper when Mark arrived at my locker.

“Are
we opening presents already?” he asked. “Where’s mine?” He looked around,
eyeing the messenger bag at my feet and the books in Tegan’s hand before
peering into my locker.

“It’s
not a Christmas present, and, no, we’re not opening our presents from each
other today,” Tegan explained. “This is to Silly from Jackson.”

“Ooh,”
Mark said. “What did he get you? Some keys to remove your chastity belt?”

I
glared at him, and Tegan smacked him with one of her books. He rubbed his elbow
and grinned. “I was only joking,” he said. “So what did he really get you?”

With
two impatient onlookers, I sighed and forgot my stupid nervousness and tore the
rest of the wrapping paper away. My eyes widened as I stared down at the deluxe
hardcover version of
The Complete Chronicles of Narnia
by C.S. Lewis.
While I had some of the individual books in the series, I didn’t have them all,
and this contained all seven volumes.

My
mouth watered at the sight of the lovely cover and my fingers itched to open it
up and begin reading. I ran my hand over the smooth cover and down the perfect
yet to be cracked spine. I lifted it to my nose and inhaled the fresh scent of
a brand new book.

I
glanced at Mark, who was looking at me as if I’d lost my mind. Tegan followed
my gaze. “Don’t worry. She always does this when she gets a new book. I know
it’s kind of freakish at first, but you get used to it.”

“Gee,
thanks, Tee,” I muttered as I continued to admire my lovely new possession.
Unable to control myself, I pulled open the cover, listening to it crackle as I
did so. I was about to thumb through the pages, but I noticed the folded sheet
of paper placed at the front of the book. I pulled out the paper before closing
the book and tucking it under my arm.

“What’s
that?” Tegan asked as I unfolded the sheet of paper.

My
eyes skimmed the page before I answered. “It’s a note from Jackson.”

“Ooh,
it’s a love letter,” Mark teased.

I
rolled my eyes at him before I turned my attention back to the paper and
started reading from the top of the page.

Dear
Silly,

I
remembered talking to you about these books before, and you mentioned you
didn’t have the whole set. I saw this book sitting in a window display at the
mall, so I bought it because it reminded me of you. I hope you don’t think I’m
trying to buy your forgiveness because I’m not.

"Times New Roman","serif"; font-style:italic'>Honestly, I was very angry when you accused me of having
some sort of ulterior motive that involved using you to get to Skylar. I’m not
that kind of guy, and it felt like you must not know me at all if you thought I
could do something like that. But, after I had a chance to cool down and think
it over, I tried to look at things from your perspective just to try to figure
what I’d done to make you so angry with me.

"Times New Roman","serif"; font-style:italic'>I realized maybe you had a point. I didn’t forget you were
around when Skylar was there, but I can see why you’d think that. What can I
say? There’s no excuse, so I won’t bother with trying to justify myself because
I doubt it would change how you felt in the moment anyway. But I do want you to
know that, as attractive as I might think your sister is, Skylar was never the
reason why I wanted to hang out with you.

"Times New Roman","serif"; font-style:italic'>The first time I met you I knew there was something special
about you. That probably sounds like a line, but I promise you it’s not. You’re
different from most people I know. I don’t mean that in a bad way either. It’s
what I like most about you.

"Times New Roman","serif"; font-style:italic'>I hope you’ll believe me when I say I’m sorry for hurting
you. I hope we can talk this through because your friendship means a lot to me.

"Times New Roman","serif"; font-style:italic'>– Jackson

I bit
my lip as I scanned the paper again. I already knew Jackson was pretty upset
with me when he left, but I was relieved he wasn’t still angry with me and
could even see things from my standpoint. In fact, I was just happy he still
wanted to speak to me.

Tegan
wanted to know what it said, and Mark seemed mildly interested. I quickly hit
on the key points of his note, but before there could be any discussion of its
contents, the warning bell rang. Reluctantly, we headed to class.

The
first half of the day was spent reviewing before the finals. Both Tuesday and
Wednesday would both by half days with finals for block one and two on Tuesday
and three and four on Wednesday.

Once
the torture of testing was over, we’d be out for winter break for almost three
weeks. I couldn’t wait for vacation because I knew as soon as the teachers
started talking that finals were going to be brutal. I foresaw late nights with
lots of cramming and coffee.

Tegan
and I decided during lunch that we’d study at my house because it was usually
quieter. We invited Mark to join us, but he didn’t show any interest in
studying.

He
did, however, ask, “What’s the status on you and Jackson?”

I
shrugged because I really didn’t know anymore. He’d apologized, so I figured
the next move was up to me. Finals were the priority, though, and I was
secretly glad for the distraction because I wasn’t exactly sure how to proceed
with Jackson.

Tegan
stayed over on Monday night. It was rare to have a sleepover during the
weeknight, but once I explained to Mom that we would be studying all evening,
she gave the okay.

Tuesday
was a blur of mathematical problems and deciphering foreign language, and
Wednesday consisted of multiple choice and essay answers. English Composition
was the exam I was most worried about.

It
didn’t help that when Luke popped his head into my room on Tuesday night, while
Tegan and I were studying, to tell us dinner was ready, he asked, “What you
studying for?”

“English
Comp,” I sighed, tearing my eyes away from the notebook filled with more notes
than I could ever begin to memorize.

“For
Barkley’s class?” he asked.

“Yeah,”
I answered distractedly as I tried to decipher a section of my notes. I’d
obviously had a hand cramp or felt exceptionally lazy because my writing was a
hot mess.

“Good
luck passing that one,” Luke laughed evilly. “You probably have a better chance
of sprouting wings.”

His
comment certainly didn’t help my anxiety. By the time I made it to Miss
Barkley’s class on Wednesday, I was twitchy and nervous. I probably stared at
the paper, after the finals were handed out, for a good five minutes trying to
decipher the questions before I finally got myself together enough to start
working on it. It was definitely rough, but by the time it was over, I didn’t
care anymore. I was just glad it was finished.

When I
got home from school on Wednesday, I slept the afternoon away, trying to
recover from the exhaustion and stress from studying. Mom ordered pizza for
dinner.

“You
guys deserve a treat,” she commented.

It
was only then that I really looked at my siblings and realized they looked
about as pitiful as I did. I was snidely pleased that Skylar looked less than
perfect for once.

“We’ll
be going upstate on Saturday morning to celebrate Christmas with your dad’s
family,” Mom explained over dinner.

Dad
looked pleased, but I wasn’t the only one at the table who wasn’t exactly
thrilled. I was used to the holiday switch off, but I always preferred
Christmas with Mom’s family.

“We’ll
be leaving at eight o’clock Saturday morning,” Dad put in.

Luke
groaned and Skylar pouted while I sagged at the prospect of waking so early on a
Saturday, which would start with the usual lukewarm shower, followed by a two
and half hour drive with my parents and siblings to visit Dad’s stuffy family.
I really did love my family, but I knew it would be a long day.

The
drive home would probably be longer if there was traffic. At least we’d have
Christmas Eve at home to recover, but I had a feeling none of us would be
getting up bright and early to open presents on Monday.

“Why
are we going on the eve of Christmas Eve?” I wondered aloud.

“It was
the only day we could get everyone together,” Dad answered.

I
assumed that meant his brother and sister and their spouses and kids would be
there too. I sagged even further in my seat. On the bright side, Mom informed
us we’d be going to see her family the day after Christmas for dinner with them
and to open presents.

After
dinner I went up to my room, planning to wrap presents, but I took one look at
my computer and the temptation was too hard to resist. I sat down before the
computer and signed onto AIM. I took a look at my buddy list and saw that
Jackson was on.

I right
clicked on his screen name and hit the Send Instant Message option. I stared at
the blank box for a minute or so before I worked up the courage to type
something in the box.

thesillywallflower:
Thank you for the book. I’m
sorry for making you angry with me. I haven’t been ignoring you the last few
days. I’ve just been busy with school, and, honestly, I didn’t really know what
to say to you other than “I’m sorry.”

I
clicked send before I could change my mind. My heart pounded as I waited to see
if Jackson would reply. I felt like such an idiot for freaking out, but I
couldn’t help it.

Finals
had kept me distracted, but the last couple of weeks had been tough. I liked
Jackson so much, and once I came down from the high of venting my anxieties,
the hurt associated with the possibility of permanently losing my friendship
with Jackson had surfaced. I was glad he was brave enough to take the first
step.

If
it’d been left up to me, I probably never would have made the first move.
Ridiculously, it took me two days just to answer his note. I wasn’t good at
confrontation, and I apparently wasn’t any better at resolving issues either. I
just hoped it wasn’t too late to fix things between us.

jackyourhart:
I’m sorry for
making you think I was only interested in you as a way to get to Skylar.

I
breathed a sigh of relief that Jackson was answering me, but I hated that he
was still apologizing to me. He’d already done that, and without my seeing Jackson
and Skylar together to give my jealousy a chance to rear its ugly head, I could
see things a little more objectively.

thesillywallflower:
But you didn’t.
Not really anyway. Skylar was the one that planted the seed, and like an idiot,
I believed her.