Inflame (Explosive) (48 page)

“And what about now? Do you think he’ll ever let me all the way in?” I hold my breath in anticipation of her answer.

“That’s something you’re going to have to ask him. But I promise you, if Kale kept it from you, he had his reasons. Just trust that he loves you, and he loves that little guy, too.”

Before I can respond, she stands up and holds a hand out to me. “If you’re all cried out, let’s head back up before they send out a search party. Frankly, I’m already surprised Kale hasn’t come looking for you. He’s barely let you out of his sight since you’ve been here.”

Complying, I allow her to pull me up before I brush the sand off the back of my dress, knowing that Kale’s probably just trying to give me space. As I follow her up to the house, apprehension begins to creep in at finally having to be alone with Kale. For the first time since I met him, I have no idea what to expect.

I’
M ABOUT
to go seek out Lucy when I see her and Kaylie enter from the back deck. Lucy promptly goes to the family room, where Mom and Marcy are presumably still sharing embarrassing baby photos. Kaylie plops down on the couch next to me, handing me another beer.

“I’m happy for you, you know,” she says, surprising me. I know she was wary about Lucy in the beginning, something that stems from the aftermath of Hurricane Tara, and being that this is only the second time she’s interacted with her, I didn’t think she’d approve so quickly.

“Thanks, Kaylie. That means a lot coming from you.”

“That being said, you’re a fucking idiot.”

I hear Xavier cough back a laugh and I turn to glare at him. He just raises his beer to Kaylie, who toasts hers back in his direction.

“Don’t mess this one up, Kale. You’ll never find someone who’s more perfect for you than that girl. You need to put the past in the past and get over it once and for all.”

Looking around the room, I’m thankful Steve retired for the night. Having Xavier and Kaylie gang up on me is last thing I want my child’s grandfather to witness.

“Well, I called Tara a cunt this afternoon. That was pretty therapeutic.”

Kaylie stares at me with wide eyes. “You didn’t,” she challenges.

“I absolutely did. I’m not proud of it, but the way she was trying to rile up Lucy made my blood boil, and it just came out.” Kaylie gives me an approving smile, and I continue. “As much as I love Lily, I was wrong to think that raising her could take away all the pain of what I lost. And I may not have known it at the time, but I started healing the day I met Lucy. Something about her vibrant spirit spoke to me on a deeper level and hooked me long before I even knew she’d taken hold. For the first time in forever, I wanted more, and I want it with her. I think part of why I haven’t wanted to talk about Tara is because I’m finally moving past it and I didn’t want her tainting what Lucy and I have.”

“I kind of get your logic because you’re a guy, after all, but that seriously is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. If you’re truly one hundred percent over it, then you talk about it and move on.”

“When the hell did you get so smart in the ways of relationships?” I ask, and Kaylie just grins at me.

“Watching Kalli over the years has given me more life lessons than any psychobabble textbook ever could. For example, did you know she’s got a thing for our buddy Xavier here?” This time when Xavier makes a coughing noise, it’s because he’s actually choking on his beer, his eyes wide as he looks at Kaylie. “See, he even gets choked up just thinking about it. Perhaps it’s not unrequited love after all.”

“You’re outta your freakin’ mind, Kaylie. I’ve known her since she was sixteen. She’s like a little sister to me,” he protests, giving her a scowl.

Kaylie tilts her head and grins at me. “I don’t know, Kale. The soldier doth protest too much,” she teases, cocking an eyebrow up at him.

As they continue to argue back and forth, I get up and go in search of Lucy. Disappointment floods over me when I learn that she’s gone to bed. Slowly, I climb the steps, unsure of what awaits me in my bedroom. As I open the door, I see that Lucy’s already nestled under the covers, and I quickly get undressed and slide in behind her. She doesn’t move as I cuddle up behind her, bringing my hand to its natural resting place.

I lie there in silence, listening to the sound of her breathing. Apprehension slowly seeps in over me as I wish I knew what she was thinking. She surprises me when she settles back in to me.

“It was a great shower. Thank you so much for surprising me with all of our friends. It meant a lot to have them all here today. And for the bracelet. It’s perfect.”

Blinking a few times, I register what she’s saying, surprised at how calm she sounds after everything. “Of course, baby. It wouldn’t have been as special without them. And I’m glad you like it. It took me forever to find the perfect charms.”

“Well, you did a pretty damn good job.”

Pressing my hand against her belly, I nuzzle into her hair, giving her a soft kiss. “Lucy Dawson, isn’t there a rule about swearing around the baby?” I scold playfully.

“By the time this kid starts talking, we’re probably going to have to start swear jar,” she teases. “Hey, Kale?”

“Yeah, baby?” I ask, my eyes closing as I enjoy the feel of her skin pressed up against mine.

“Do you want to talk?” she asks timidly, almost sounding unsure of herself.

I should say yes. I know I should, but she just got done saying that the shower was great and the last thing I want to do is talking about this in the dark, in my mom’s house, with all our family downstairs.

“We’ll talk, I promise. But not tonight. It’s been a long day, and tomorrow’s going to be even longer. You need to get some rest before the car ride home.”

She lets out a deep sigh. “Okay, Kale. I understand. You’re probably right. Why ruin what turned out to be a good day? Let’s get some sleep.”

I can hear the disappointment in her voice, but I don’t change my mind. Leaning in, I place a kiss on her cheek and hope that once I finally let it all out I’m not too late.

A
FTER SAYING
goodbye to our families, we head to the car with two stowaways Lucy wasn’t expecting. I forgot that Xavier and Lily only had one-way tickets, so they are hitching a ride home with us. Even though he tries to resist, Lucy insists that Xavier have the front seat, and she scrunches in the back with Lily, who only protests three of the six times we stop so Lucy can get out and stretch. Lucy’s utterly silent the entire way home, and I don’t miss the way she stares out the window the whole time.

By the time I drop off Xavier and Lily, Lucy looks like she’s about to pass out. Once we get home, I shuffle her inside and then go back out to grab our bags and the gifts from the shower. It takes me three trips, and I sigh with relief when I’m finally done.

Leaning against the back of the door, I close my eyes, wishing I could forget what happened this weekend. When I head back into the bedroom, I realize that Lucy’s lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. I frown, knowing that this quick weekend trip was probably too exhausting for her. I should’ve told Kalli no from the beginning.

“Hey baby, why don’t I draw you a bath so you can soak while I get something for dinner?”

She turns her head and looks up at me, nodding. I head into the bathroom to get it ready for her, and when I go into the bedroom, she allows me, without a word, to lead her to the tub, where I slowly undress her. I hold her steady as she steps into the lukewarm water, and she braces against my arm as she sinks down. Kneeling down beside her, I make sure that all of her products are within arm’s reach. I place a slow, lingering kiss on her lips as my fingers caress her belly before I pull back to leave her alone for her bath.

“Let me know when you’re ready to get out and then I’ll feed you.”

“Okay,” she replies softly, almost a whisper, and I can hear the exhaustion in her voice.

Making my way out to the kitchen, I whip up a couple of omelets then head back to check on Lucy, who’s right in the middle of rinsing out her hair. I sit on the edge of the tub and watch as she finishes.

“I’m ready,” she tells me, and I lean down to pull the plug so the water can drain.

Grabbing a towel, I gently rub her arms then wrap it around her shoulders before she grabs ahold of my hands so I can help her up. She stands stock-still in the tub as I tenderly rub her down, a routine we’ve fallen into the further along she’s gotten in her pregnancy. Once in the bedroom, she slips on an oversized t-shirt and a pair of panties while I towel dry her hair and then brush it out for her.

Taking hold of her hand, I lead her out to the kitchen, where I watch as she wolfs down her food.

“You ready for bed, baby?” I ask, and she shakes her head.

“No, I’m fine. I slept plenty in the car,” she replies, moving into the living room and settling on the sofa.

I follow her and sit beside her as she flips through the television stations. She finally decides to stop on some country music awards show and we mindlessly watch the various performers intermixed with the awards. Every time I try to work up the nerve to start the conversation, her eyes light up at the latest musician on the screen. I know I need to just come right out and start, but as soon as I think I have the right words in my head, they slip right off the tip of my tongue. I don’t miss the way she glances at me during commercials, and I know what she’s waiting for.

Once again, I’m too fucking late, because before I know it, she’s yawning bracing herself against the couch as she rises slowly from it. “I tried to make it through the whole show, but I can’t keep my eyes open anymore.” She leans down and gives me a kiss. “I’ll see you in the morning. Love you.”

And just like that, Lucy’s out of the room, and once again, I berate myself for freezing up when I had the chance to make everything right. Instead of joining her, I sit on the couch and think about everything that happened this weekend. Calling Tara what I did was harsh, even if I think she deserved it. The thing is that I don’t know if I was more pissed at her or myself. It wasn’t her fault Lucy found out that way. All of that blame rests solely on me. The longer I put this off, the further I’m going to push her away. Tomorrow. Once and for all, I’m going to lay it all out on the line for her and deal with whatever repercussions there are. With a renewed sense of clarity, I turn off the television and join Lucy in the bedroom. She’s fast asleep, and as much as I want the comfort of her embrace, I slide into bed and let her be, knowing she needs her rest.

T
HE NEXT
morning, I wake to the sounds of someone shuffling around the room. Slowly, I come out of my sleepy haze and turn over, blinking as my eyes adjust. Lucy’s at the closet slipping on flat sandals. She holds her back as she walks over to her side of the bed, where she grabs her phone and her keys. She whips around to look at me when the sheets rustle as I move to sit up.

“What’re you doing, baby? We both have the day off. Why are you up already?”

Her gaze softens for a split second before she stands up straight, her eyes turning to cold steel. “I just need to get out for the day,” she responds quietly.

“Just give me a few minutes and I’ll come with you,” I tell her, scrambling out of the bed, but she holds her hand up to me.

“No, Kale,
I
need to get out for the day. On my own. I need some space, some time to think. More importantly, I think that’s what you need.”

The beat of my heart quickens to a rapid pace as her words register. “No, baby, I don’t need space. I’ll never need space from you. I’m ready to talk. Stay here and we’ll do just that. I promise. I’ll let it all out.”

She looks at me with remorseful eyes, and I think she’s about to give in. “No, Kale. I’ve waited two days. Two long, excruciating days where I’ve gone over every single scenario in my head, and now that you’re ready to talk, I’m not sure I’m ready to listen. That’s probably selfish, but I need this. This one day to get away from it all, to pretend Tara doesn’t exist and that she’s not some big elephant in the room that’s coming between us.”