Inner Demons (10 page)

Thursday night was the big meet and greet with all of the returning alumni. All of the Demons cheerleaders were instructed to wear our uniforms with our hair down and curled. I didn't understand why it mattered so much what we looked like, but our instructions detailed exactly how we were supposed to look, down to the color of polish on our nails and the smiles on our faces.

The event was being held at Lark's house, and despite its enormous size, the place was completely packed. Drake and I arrived at six-thirty and there were already at least a hundred people there. Waiters with blue and white iced cookies and demon-themed snacks walked around the party, passing out food. I grabbed a cookie off one of the guy's trays.

“Wow, that's the best cookie I've ever had in my life,” I said.

“How can you even be thinking about cookies on a night like this?” Drake asked. There was an edge to his voice that I didn't like one bit.

I stared at him, completely confused about what he meant. “Because I'm hungry. And they're delicious.”

He took my arm and led me to the next room. “Look right over there.” He pointed to a man in a gray suit. “That's one of the football coaches at the University of Georgia. And there? That woman in the pink dress? She's the owner of more than sixty fast food restaurants in the state of Georgia. Oh, and over by the punch bowl? That's the Governor of Georgia. This is not just some cookie party, Harper. This is a major networking opportunity.”

“Since when do you care so much about networking?” Hadn't we spent our entire lunch period talking about Homecoming? He'd never once talked about how much tonight's mixer meant to him.

He sighed. “It's always been important to me,” he said. “You're the one who has been so distracted lately. You haven't even been listening to me. Remember how I mentioned that my mom was thinking of running for the state Senate in a couple of years and how she wanted me to do my best to make a good impression on the Governor?”

I nodded. “Oh right,” I said. Truth be told, I had no clue what he was talking about. Had I really been ignoring him? My mind had definitely been on other things this week. “I'm sorry. So what should we do? Just mingle or something? Try to meet people?”

“Come on, I'll introduce you to Coach Wilder.”

I started to follow him through the crowd when I spotted a familiar face coming through the door.

“Brooke!”

I turned and started to walk toward her, but Drake grabbed my arm. My jaw tightened. I was really getting tired of him gripping my arm so tight when I didn't follow his directions.

“What?” I said. “I haven't seen her for days.”

“You'll see her all weekend,” he said. “Don't embarrass me.”

I bit my tongue and took a deep breath. I looked over toward the door and saw that Brooke and her mother were deep in conversation.

“Fine,” I said. “Lead the way, then.”

I retreated into my own thoughts as Drake worked his way around the room, introducing me to all of the big-wig alumni. I knew it was important to play the part of the dutiful recruit at events like this, no matter how much I hated it. I smiled and shook hands and spoke when spoken to, but all I could think about was finding Brooke.

When Drake fell into a deep conversation with a businessman from New York City, I excused myself to the ladies room and went to look for Brooke. I weaved in and out of the crowd. She wasn't anywhere to be found.

Frustrated, I stepped onto the porch for a breath of fresh air. I thought it would be nice to be alone outside, but something in the darkness beyond the house made me feel uneasy. As if I were being watched.

I turned to go back inside when voices on the balcony above startled me.

“I know exactly what's expected of me, Mother.” I recognized Brooke's voice. I stepped into the shadows and listened.

“Then why are you still going to the dance with Foster this weekend?” her mother said. “I won't have you screwing up your mission this soon after your initiation.”

“I hardly think one dance is going to screw up my future,” Brooke said. “Besides, I committed to Foster weeks ago. I can't back out the week of Homecoming.”

“After Saturday night, I never want to see you with him again, you hear me?” There was acid in her mother's tone. “Every step you take from here on out is critical.”

“I know what I'm doing.”

Brooke and her mother stepped back into the house, but I stayed outside for a few more minutes to collect my thoughts. What kind of mission had the Order given her? And what were the consequences of not achieving that mission?

Later, I watched Brooke mingle with the people at the party. Brooke, who had always been so classy and beautiful, was now ten times as magnetic. She was stunning. Her dark brown hair looked glossy. Her posture was perfectly straight. She seemed to somehow take up more space than before.

She was spending a lot of time talking to the governor's son. He was a student at Harvard and had flown in for the weekend. At one point, I overheard her saying that she'd always been interested in politics and was planning to major in political science. When the governor's son asked her where she was planning to go to school, she smiled and told him that Harvard was her number one choice.

I wondered if he was part of her new mission.

An uneasiness settled in my stomach. I felt as if my worst fears had been realized. Brooke was no longer herself.

The air was crisp and cool down on the field. This was my second game at the Peachville stadium, but the energy of the place still surprised me. With almost the entire town in attendance, there was a lot of excitement in the air.

All of the cheerleaders wore white turtlenecks under our uniforms, but my legs were frozen. My hair was pulled back into a french braid tight against my head, and my ears felt like little popsicles.

A girl named Astrid lifted me onto her shoulders, and I gripped the large banner in my hands. And to think, I always imagined the cheerleaders spending hours before the game painting the banners and coming up with the witty sayings like “Roast the Pigs!” In truth, the team banner making took place just a few minutes before we headed to the field and consisted of Brooke standing in front of the giant white sheet of paper and telling it to say “Demon Pride. Let's win this one for the Alumns!” One second the sheet was blank and the next it was perfectly painted and ready to go.

Brooke was still distant and strange. She'd come to school today, but she barely talked at lunch. I was hoping to find some time to talk to her tonight, but so far she'd always been surrounded by other people.

On the field, I held the banner up, steadying myself on Astrid's shoulders. Behind the banner, Drake winked at me and pressed two fingers to his lips, then sent it off to me with a smile. Then, he put his helmet on and crashed through the banner with the rest of the team. I smiled and tried my best to act cheerleadery.

The game actually ended up being a lot more fun than I expected. There were even more people there tonight than normal because of all the alumni. Clara Summers, the movie star, was there with an entourage of people from photographers to a bodyguard and possibly her stylists and personal assistants. She was staying in the only hotel in town, a bed and breakfast housed in a large white antebellum mansion called the Black Swan. From what I heard, she had pretty much rented the whole thing for herself and her entourage. I had no idea where the other alumns were staying. I doubted the governor was staying at a friend's house.

I had gotten a chance to meet Governor Davis last night at the mixer. She recognized Drake from the few times they'd met before. She seemed anxious to meet me and had said,
“We're counting on you, Harper.”
Of course, all that did was make me uncomfortable. I didn't want to be the shining hope of this town. Especially not if it turned me into some kind of robot like Brooke.

As soon as the game was over, I searched the crowd for Brooke, but couldn't find her anywhere. Mayor Chen waved to me and Lark ran out to her to give her a big hug and kiss. Ella Mae was in the crowd as usual, but as all the rest of the cheerleaders greeted their family and friends, I felt out of place. I decided to head back to the locker room and see if I could find Brooke there.

Allison and Brooke were both there, already changing out of their uniforms and into jeans and sweatshirts.

“What are you guys up to tonight?” I asked.

“Clara, the governor, and some of the other alumni are coming over,” Brooke said. “They want to welcome the newest initiate into the Order of Shadows.” She smiled, proud of her new title.

I wondered if the governor's son would be there, too.

Allison shrugged. “I'm spending the night at Lark's,” she said. “We're probably just going to watch some movies and pig out on junk food if you want to join us.”

“Thanks, but I can't,” I said. “Ella expects me home right after the game since I'll be staying out late tomorrow.”

“Okay then, see you guys tomorrow.”

Allison hurried out of the locker room, leaving me alone with Brooke for the first time since she'd come back to school.

“Hey,” I said. “How are you feeling? That must have been some virus you came down with after the party.”

Brooke avoided my eyes. “I'm fine,” she said. “Turns out all I really needed was some rest.”

I swallowed hard, trying to choose my words carefully. “Brooke? Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” she said with that perfect grin.

“Do you still want to be a veterinarian?”

Her head tilted to one side as she studied me, then she shook her head and laughed. “Where on earth would you have gotten that idea? I have always wanted to be a politician, just like Governor Davis.”

I watched her as she gathered her things and walked away. I could swear out of the corner of my eye, I saw the shadow of a horse move across the wall.

Ella Mae pulled the Shadowford van into the driveway just after ten. Courtney and Mary Anne hardly said a word the whole way home, and I was lost to my own thoughts. I couldn't shake the image of that shadow from my mind.

“Aren't you coming inside?” Courtney asked, holding the door open.

I shook my head. “No, I think I'm going to sit out here on the front porch and clear my head for a minute.”

“Okay,” she said. “Don't stay out here too long though, it's freezing!”

I laughed. “I'll be okay.”

I tossed my duffel bag onto the front porch swing and sat next to it, pushing myself back and forth.

When I'd asked Mrs. King if she still had a tattoo, what was her answer?

Not exactly.

I hadn't been able to understand what she meant by that back then, but now maybe I did. If the tattoo was all about bringing our inner connection to the shadow demons out onto the surface, the final initiation was about taking on an inner demon. A enslaved demon who could only be seen in shadows. Brooke's tattoo had taken on the form of a horse because it was the one thing she loved most of all. Maybe her new shadow demon also took the form of a horse.

I shivered. I would have to pay more careful attention to the women in this town from now on. I needed to study people I knew were in the Order and see if I could recognize their inner demons as well. If no one was going to share any information with me, I would have to figure this out on my own, like a detective.

The sound of a girl's voice echoed off the side of the house, and I stopped swinging. Morgyn?

I got up and tiptoed to the edge of the porch, then looked around the side of the house, careful to stay in the darkness.

“I'm not going to let you go alone, and there's no use arguing about it,” Morgyn said. She was standing near the old fountain in the garden talking to Jackson.

“Jesus, Morgyn, why do you have to be so damn stubborn! I'm telling you right now, if you go tomorrow... well, you know as well as I do what's going to happen. We can't take that risk.”

“And what do you think will happen if I don't go?” Her voice softened and she placed her hand on Jackson's shoulder.

I felt a twinge of jealousy at the obvious affection in her features. She loved him. I could see it in her face.

Jackson ran a hand through his hair and paced back and forth in front of the fountain. “Maybe we just both stay home,” he said. “We could stay here and watch a movie or something. Pop some popcorn.”

Morgyn smiled, but it was a sad smile. “That sounds perfect.”

Jackson shook his head. “But I can't leave her there unprotected.”

“Of course you can,” Morgyn said. “She isn't even on their radar. She'll be safe.”

“I can't take that risk.”

“Why does it always have to be about her?”

I slumped against the side of the house. How much did Jackson know about the Order of Shadows? What exactly was supposed to happen at the dance?

“You know why,” he said, so softly I almost didn't hear.

Morgyn took his hand and laced her fingers through his. I knew I had no business intruding on their private moment, but I couldn't tear myself away.

“We're in this together,” Morgyn said. “If we have to, we'll fight them together.”

Jackson pulled her into a hug and they stayed that way for a long time. Finally, I made my way back to the swing, picked up my bag, and disappeared into the house. I suddenly wasn't looking forward to tomorrow night's dance at all.

I stared at myself in the mirror and frowned. The black dress I'd bought at the thrift store was the right shape, but it was definitely not the look I wanted for tonight. Luckily, no one would actually ever see this dress.

I slipped out of my scuffed black heels and sat cross-legged on the floor of my room. I placed my palms up and laid them lightly on my knees, just like Lark had shown me. My eyes closed and I breathed in and out, concentrating on the rise and fall of my chest and the energy of the room around me. At first, all I could think about was Brooke and how the magic I was learning was borrowed from a group of witches who were planning to turn me into something I never wanted to be. I couldn't concentrate.

I shook my head and tried again. I needed to shut out my fears and all these thoughts about Brooke and the Order. I needed to forget my worries about what would happen in two years when I turned eighteen and think about the present. My only mission these days was to continue to play along and be careful not to raise any suspicions.

I drew as much air into my lungs as I could, then slowly let it out in a calming hiss. I let my body really connect with the floor and the room. I imagined the energy of this room and the house and even the garden and the forest beyond. I felt it begin to hum inside my veins. The blue energy of it soared through the air and into me. I opened myself to it, letting it take up residence inside my frame.

When I felt every inch of my body buzzing with the power of the magic, I slowly re-imagined myself. Instead of a tattered black dress, I imagined a blue dress made of fine silk. The dress I had tried on when we'd all gone shopping. The one I could never afford. In my mind, I zipped the dress onto my body, and it fit perfectly. I imagined a pair of gorgeous silver heels in place of the scuffed black ones.

I pictured myself with the perfect makeup. Every flaw on my skin was covered. My eyelashes were long and thick. I thought about the way actresses looked on the red carpet and tried to picture myself in their makeup. Smokey eyes, perfect pink lip-gloss, a light blush that looked natural.

The changes became so clear in my mind, as if I were looking at a photograph in my head. My breath grew rapid and my skin began to tingle. When I opened my eyes and stood in front of the mirror, I smiled triumphantly. Come what may, at least I'd look good tonight.

Twenty minutes later, the limousine pulled down the long driveway. I watched from the edge of the front balcony as Drake climbed out and looked up at the house. He looked amazing dressed in a black suit with a blue tie, but good looks just weren't enough.

I stepped back from the window and waited. I'd never been to a dance before, but I imagined it like a scene from the movies. The guy stands in the doorway and looks up as the beautiful girl makes her way down the staircase. The only problem was that I had the feeling I was more in a kind of horror movie these days rather than a romantic comedy.

The knock on the door echoed throughout the front hallway and I heard the click of Ella Mae's heels on the wood floor.

“Well, Mr. Ashworth,” she said. “Don't you just look so nice this evening.”

“Is Harper here?” He sounded like such a gentleman. I just hoped he would actually manage to be a gentleman all night. I prayed no one spiked the punch.

I walked slowly to the top of the stairs and placed my hand lightly on the wooden rail. As I made my way down the stairs, I kept my eyes on Drake's face. The look there was priceless. His mouth opened slightly and his eyes were wide with appreciation.

“Wow, you look beautiful,” he said, taking my hand when I reached the bottom.

“Thanks,” I said.

He planted a light kiss on my cheek, then handed me a small bouquet of blue and white flowers. I sunk my nose into them and inhaled the aroma. I found myself wishing Drake had never been such a jerk at that party. Sometimes he could be so thoughtful and sweet, but every time I thought about that night, my stomach felt all twisty inside.

“Just have her home by two,” Ella Mae said. Ms. Shadowford had agreed to extend my curfew for the special event, and I was grateful.

Drake didn't take his eyes off of me for a second, even after we were in the limo. So far, it was just the two of us and he instructed the driver to take us by Foster's place next. “Harper, you look...I mean, you're always pretty, but you are like a goddess tonight.”

My face felt warm. I smiled, but inside I was feeling a little bit guilty. Using glamours was fun, but it also seemed a little like cheating. My blonde hair fell in perfect spiral curls all the way down my back with diamond clips at the side. The blue dress clung to my body in all the right places. My makeup looked professionally done. Not too much. Not too little. Just perfect. I could never have looked this good without magic. I reminded myself that I shouldn't get too attached to the idea of using spells for my own benefit, especially since being a witch came at such a high cost.

Drake pulled me into his arms and held me close the whole ride into town. I could smell the slightest scent of alcohol on his breath. I definitely needed to be on my guard tonight. There was no telling what might happen.

We stopped at Foster's, then picked up Lark and Allison's dates, and then we headed to Brooke's house where Lark and Allison were already waiting. Brooke's mom took pictures of the group in the backyard out by their garden.

“Nice dress,” Lark said with a knowing wink.

“Oh, isn't that the dress you tried on at the mall?” Allison asked. “I thought you said it wasn't the one.”

I shrugged. “I just thought it was too good to pass up. Plus, I couldn't find anything better.”

“Well, you look beautiful,” Brooke said.

I looked around as each couple posed for the camera. Everyone looked happy and perfect, but deep inside my heart, I felt this terrible sense of wrongness. I glanced around the backyard, straining to see into the night, past where the outside lights from Brooke's house could shine. Like the mixer the other night, I had the strangest feeling we were being watched.

“Come on, Harper, get in the picture,” Lark called out. Everyone had gathered together for one last shot.

I took a deep breath and tried to shake the eeriness I'd felt, but no matter how hard I tried, the fear followed me like a predator waiting in the inky darkness.