Inner Demons (13 page)

I made it back to the school with only moments to spare. Even though I'd only used the glamour for a few minutes, I felt drained and sick to my stomach. I dropped my bike to the ground and walked toward the field house. The second half of this game was going to be pure torture. I clutched my stomach in pain and leaned against the door to the field house, not wanting to go inside.

“I think a lot of people underestimate you, Harper.”

I swung around to find Mrs. King standing at the bottom of the field house steps, watching me.

“Oh gosh, you scared me,” I said, out of breath. My heart was already racing from the bike ride, and now it sped up from fear.

“I don't want to see you get into any trouble,” she said. She climbed the stairs toward me, a serious expression on her face.

“I don't know what you mean.”

Mrs. King placed her hand on the small of my back. I could feel the demon writhe against my skin.

“Someone is always watching,” she said. “Especially when you're a recruit. I would hate to see you get mixed up with the wrong kind of people.”

My heart skipped and panic set in. Did she know I'd been to see Jackson?

“Are you saying this tattoo does more than just let me into the training room?” I asked.

Mrs. King looked around. “I'm saying that nothing is ever as simple as it seems. And you never know when the Order might be watching you.”

With that, she opened the doors to the field house and announced to the squad that it was time to get back into the stadium.

I doubled over against the metal railing and threw up.

I sat on the bleachers for most of the second half. My body temperature went from freezing to burning up to freezing all over again. Mrs. King handed me a fuzzy blue blanket and a cup of hot chocolate when I started to shiver.

I begged my body to recover faster. Every little shiver or grimace of pain was a clue to anyone watching that I'd been doing some kind of forbidden magic beyond my level. Why didn't I think of the consequences earlier? I thought I was being all sneaky and undercover with my talks to Morgyn and Jackson, but now I wasn't so sure.

Mrs. King implied that the tattoo on my back was also used as some kind of tracking device. A way to monitor recruits. Nothing I did was private. Did any of the other girls know the Order was watching us? I made a mental note to question Lark about it later, but for now, I had more pressing questions on my mind.

If the Order was watching me, how the hell was I going to sneak up to the third floor library? Much less Jackson's bedroom? Just thinking about it made me want to throw up all over again. I pulled the blanket tighter against my body and begged my stomach to calm down.

Once the game was over, the PHS Demons were officially in the playoffs. Drake ran off the field and pulled me up into a hug.

“We did it!” he said, pumping his fist. “Let's go celebrate.”

Did he seriously not even notice that I'd been sitting on the sidelines for the past hour and a half? I had to stop myself from punching him in the face. He had to be one of the most selfish guys in the world. I don't know how I didn't see it before.

“I don't feel good,” I said. “That's why I sat out the entire second half. Didn't you notice?”

He frowned. “No. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it's not like I'm dying or anything,” I said. “But I think I'd rather just go home and get some rest.”

“Bummer. Foster invited us over this his house to go swimming. He's trying to get back into Brooke's good graces. I thought you might want to come.”

“It's freezing out,” I said, shivering.

“Indoor heated pool,” he said. He wiggled his eyebrows up and down. “With a hot tub.”

I shook my head. I couldn't take this anymore. The more time I spent around Drake, the more I began to despise him. The thought of hanging out with him in a hot tub made me feel even worse. “Listen, Drake-”

“Great game, son!” Drake's father came up behind him and give him a big pat on the back.

“Thanks Dad!” Drake turned around and gave his dad a strong handshake.

Mrs. Ashworth was close behind. My heart rose into my throat, and I felt slightly dizzy.

“Yes, that was a great game, dear,” she said, raising up on her tiptoes to kiss Drake's cheek. “Exactly what I wanted to see tonight with so many recruiters in the stands.”

I stood by silently, wondering if anyone would notice if I made a run for it.

Then, Mrs. Ashworth turned to me, and I was stuck. “Harper, honey, what happened to you the second half? You looked miserable down there on the bleachers. Are you ill?”

I nodded. “I really think I should be heading home,” I said. “I might be coming down with something.”

Mrs. Ashworth studied me carefully. I felt my heart pound against my ribs like a frantic, caged bird. Could she tell I'd been doing magic?

“I'm sure all this training has been hard on you,” she said. “Maybe you should go home and rest. I hope you get to feeling better. We'd love to have you over to our house for dinner sometime soon, now.”

“Yes ma'am,” I said. “Goodnight Drake, good game.”

He leaned down and kissed my forehead. “You want me to drive you home?”

“No,” I said, perhaps a bit too quickly. “I'm just going to catch the van home to Shadowford. I'd hate to get you sick, too.”

As soon as I could, I made my way back up to the parking lot and searched for the Shadowford van. I spotted Courtney coming out of the stadium gate and jogged to catch up with her, glad to be rid of the Ashworths.

“Courtney, wait up,” I called. A sharp pain shot through my side. I slowed to catch my breath.

“Hey Harper,” she said. She stopped and waited for me. As usual, her stick straight blonde hair covered half her face. She wore a pair of tattered jeans and a black hoodie.

“Thanks,” I said. I doubled over slightly as a wave of nausea passed over me. Man, using magic got more and more dangerous to my health each time I used it. This time, I had only been invisible for ten minutes at most. Why was it affecting me so harshly?

“Are you alright?” Courtney rushed over and put her hand on my shoulder.

“I'll be okay,” I said. “I think maybe I ate something bad.”

She helped me to the van. The whole ride home, she kept looking over at me as if there was something she wanted to say to me. When I met her eyes, though, she just looked away.

Mary Anne sat quietly in the backseat. She had taken Morgyn Baker's death quite hard, retreating even further into her shell. For days after the dance, Mary Anne stayed in her room. She missed school and refused to eat. Several times, when I'd knocked on her door to ask her to come down for dinner, I'd heard her crying.

Tonight, she was silent and still. I was surprised she'd even gone to the game at all. Maybe Ella Mae made her come.

Whenever she was around, tension hung in the air. Even now, in the van, I felt her eyes on me. I wanted to ask her what her problem was, but since I knew she'd just lost a good friend, I figured she deserved a little space.

When we arrived home, Courtney helped me up the stairs and into my bedroom. I said goodnight and went to wash my face, but when I came out of the bathroom, she was still standing there.

“Oh, hey, I thought you'd gone to bed,” I said.

“Can I come in for a sec?”

I shrugged. I didn't really have time to sit and chat. Not when I was so close to getting my memories back. But I couldn't exactly tell her to leave. “Sure,” I said. “I probably won't be up too much longer, though.”

Courtney turned and stuck her head into the hallway, looked both ways, then closed us into my room. “You were using too much magic.”

She said it as a fact, not a question. I narrowed my eyes at her. What did she know about it? I didn't know whether I should trust her. I didn't answer her. Instead, I walked to my closet and pulled out some pajamas.

“I recognize the signs,” she said. She moved to sit on my bed. “Believe me, I've been there before. This one time, I tried to get my stereo to work without any electricity running to it. That knocked me out for a few hours.”

“You can do high level magic?” I asked. I forgot my pajamas and joined her on the bed.

“Some things,” she said. “Probably nothing like what you can do, but I play around some.”

As I looked at her, I realized I didn't know that much about Courtney's past. How did she end up here at Shadowford? From what Morgyn told me, Shadowford was being used by the Order as a way to draw in orphaned girls like me and Agnes. They were looking for the Prima, but what were their intentions with the girls who turned out not to be the Prima? If they were so powerful, why weren't they recruited and trained? It didn't seem fair.

“What can you do?” I asked.

She looked around the room. Her eyes settled on something near my closet. I followed her gaze. The pajamas I discarded on the top of my dressing table floated toward us. I laughed and clapped.

“Where did you learn to do that?” My pj's landed beside me on the bed.

Courtney's face broke out in a smile, but she dipped her head to hide it. She shrugged, but I could tell she was glad to share her ability with me.

I touched her arm and got a slight shock of static electricity. “Oops,” I said. “Sorry.”

“It's okay,” she said. “Sometimes the air in a room gets charged with a little bit of electricity after magic is used.”

“I've noticed that before,” I said. “Actually, the first time I met Ms. Shadowford, the door gave me a shock. She's a witch, too, isn't she?”

Courtney nodded.

I winced as another wave of pain shot through my abdomen.

Slowly, Courtney reached out to take my hands in hers. “There's something else I can do,” she said.

I looked up, curious.

“Close your eyes.”

I closed my eyes, unsure what to expect. At first, nothing happened. The house was quiet and still. The only sound was the sound of our breathing.

Then, Courtney's hands became burning hot. On instinct, I tried to pull away, but she held firm, refusing to let me go. My eyes flew open. I was frightened. Was she trying to hurt me?

“Shhh,” she whispered. “It'll be okay, I promise.”

The burning heat spread through my body like hot lava. My lower back screamed in pain. I bit my lip to keep from crying out. Just when I didn't think I could take it anymore, an instant calm settled over me. My skin cooled and felt refreshed. Suddenly, my nausea was gone.

Courtney dropped my hands. “Feel better?”

“What did you do?” I took a deep breath. I felt strong.

She smiled shyly. “I recharged you,” she said. “It's one of the few things I know how to do.” She cleared her throat and swiped at her eyes. “I used to do that for Agnes all the time. Before she...”

I touched her shoulder. “Thanks,” I said. “I really do feel better.”

She nodded and sniffed, then rose from the bed. “Well, I'm gonna head to bed,” she said.

“Goodnight,” I said. “Maybe we can share magic tips or something sometime.”

She turned around, her face creased with worry. “I had no idea she wanted to hurt you, Harper. I never would have helped her if I thought she would do something like that.”

I breathed slowly in and out.

“I know.”

As soon as I was alone, I started to formulate a plan. With my power restored, tonight was my best shot at getting up to the third floor.

But what if someone from the Order was watching me?

I looked at the clock. It was almost eleven-thirty. What were the chances someone would be watching me this late? Especially if they knew I was safely in bed asleep?

I changed into my pajamas and brushed my teeth, then cut off the lights and crawled into bed. If anyone had been watching me tonight, they'dsee my regular bedtime routine and hopefully assume I was safely accounted for until morning.

I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep.

Visions of Brooke's initiation ritual flashed in my mind. I thought about the way the shadow demon had snaked around her body. I shuddered and pulled the covers closer.

This plan better work.

I hated to think what the Order might do to me if they found out I was planning to drink the Elixir of Kendria. I knew they couldn't kill me, but that didn't mean they couldn't lock me away or erase my memory all over again.

It was a risk I was going to have to take. I needed to get my memories back so that Jackson would tell me the truth.

After fifteen minutes had passed, I got out of bed and put on my stealthiest outfit – black pants and a black t-shirt.

I tiptoed down the hall and entered the secret passage-way up to the third floor.

The stairs creaked slightly as I stepped onto them. I froze. Listened for footsteps or voices.

When I was sure the coast was clear, I continued up to the circular room. The four doors were closed shut, but I remembered that the library room was to my left. I opened the door and slipped inside. There were no light switches along the walls, so I held out my palm.

“Illuminate,” I whispered.

A small white orb appeared over my hand. I lifted it high into the air and studied the thousands of books on the shelves. Jackson had said the book was called Memoria. I walked around and glanced at the titles, hoping they were arranged in some kind of alphabetical order. No such luck. I knew it could take me days to find the right book. I didn't have that kind of time. Besides, I couldn't even reach the ones way at the tippy-top.

I sat down on the floor and placed the orb on the ground. With palms up, I concentrated on the book I wanted to find. I don't know what I expected to happen. I guess I thought maybe it would just float down from wherever it lived on the shelves. After a good five minutes of willing it to come to me, I gave up and decided to try something else.

There has to be a way.

I walked around the room, touching the books, hoping for inspiration. A book with a bright pink binding caught my eye. For a moment, my heart pumped faster, thinking I might have found the right book. But at closer look, I saw that it was called Memorizzia. Not quite exactly right, but worth a look anyway. I tugged on the book. It wouldn't budge. The books were really crammed together.

I pulled harder and my fingers slipped. I fell backward, my shoulder slamming into the bookcase on my right. I sucked air through my clenched teeth and tried not to yell out. Something rolled off the bookcase beside me and fell to the floor with a clack. I jumped, afraid I'd been discovered, then saw the golden pen lying at my feet.

I leaned over and picked it up. It was a beautiful, heavy golden pen with blue sapphires embedded into it. I twisted it to open it and a puff of golden glitter wafted through the air. I smiled and waved the pen around. As it moved, it left behind a trail of shimmering dust that seemed to hold its shape. I drew a circle and it hovered in the air in front of me for a few seconds, then fell to the floor where it completely disappeared. I wrote my name in the air, laughing as it held its shape until I was finished writing.

I looked from the books to the pen and had an idea. Carefully, I wrote out the name of the book, Memoria, in the air. The word lingered in the air for a moment, but instead of falling to the floor, the glitter zoomed toward the top of the bookcase closest to the door. I followed close behind, amazed. The glittery dust attached itself to a large black leather book, pulled it from the shelf, then delivered it into my hand. I looked at the binding.

Memoria
.