Instant Mom (22 page)

Hi again!

Oh yes, there’s more.

Then again, you probably know by now that I can’t stop talking. So I had to add a few more things. All right, now that you’ve patiently waded through twenty-six chapters of Kid Kwips, here’s some information on how to become a parent. If you’re interested in adoption and have questions, hopefully this appendix has some answers.

I wish you the best of luck on your adventure.

Q.
What is the first step in adoption?

A.
To begin the process, decide which type of adoption you would like to pursue. There are three types: domestic, fos-adopt, and international.

Q.
What is domestic adoption?

A.
Adoption terms vary by country, but in the United States and Canada, domestic adoption means adoption of an infant or young child by parents who are U.S. or Canadian citizens. Typically, this means a birth mother or family is placing an infant for adoption. Prospective parents are matched with that birth mother during gestation or shortly after the birth. After the birth of the infant, the time it takes to complete or finalize a domestic adoption varies by state or province from three days to six months.

Q.
What is fos-adopt?

A.
This is a term used to describe a child adopted from the foster care system. The child is considered a foster child (a dependent of the court) until adoption occurs. The children are in the foster care system with a plan for adoption because reunification with a parent is not probable. In most states there is a supervision period of about six months before adoption occurs, though in some states it could be up to two years.

Q.
What is international adoption?

A.
This type of adoption is when a child is adopted from a different country than where the adoptive parents reside. In most international adoptions, the children are legal orphans. The time frame varies from country to country, but in most countries the adoption is finalized prior to the parents leaving the country with the child.

Q.
What needs to be done to begin any form of adoption?

A.
Once you have chosen the type of adoption, you will need an adoption Home Study. It is best to choose an agency, attorney, or county office that specializes in the type of adoption you would like to follow. All persons who are adopting, whether by domestic, international, or fos-adopt, must have an approved Home Study.

Q.
What is a Home Study?

A.
It is a written assessment completed by a social worker who comes to your home. Generally it includes two to five home visits, individual interviews, a couple interview, fingerprint results, background information, and a home inspection. A complete Home Study can range from six pages to more than forty. Questions your social worker may ask range from opinions on bedtimes to religious upbringing.

Q.
How long is the process from Home Study to placement of a child in your home?

A.
The Home Study, including fingerprinting, physicals, plus first aid and CPR classes, can be done as quickly as a few weeks or it can take up to a year, depending on how motivated the prospective parents are.

In cases of domestic adoption, the wait for an infant is between one week and two years, depending on your attorney or agency’s outreach programs.

In the fos-adopt system, there is a tremendous need for parents willing to adopt a child older than five since there are many children with terminated parental rights. This means these children are available immediately for adoption, once your Home Study is approved. The wait for a child who is newborn through five years old in the fos-adopt system is typically up to two years or more. If you are open to special-needs children or to adopting siblings, the wait can be much shorter.

In international adoptions the time it takes to place a child varies by country, but placement can occur within a few months or up to five years. See below for more information.

Q.
Who may adopt via domestic, international, and fos-adopt?

A.
Criteria vary from state to state and country to country. In all types of adoptions, adoptive applicants must be eighteen years or older and in most cases it is mandatory they be at least ten years older than the child they are adopting. An applicant must clear or be exempt from a criminal background or child-abuse check, be in good health, and be able to provide a safe home for a child. Currently Florida, Mississippi, Michigan, and Utah do not allow same-sex couples or single people to adopt. Arkansas does not allow same-sex couples to adopt but will allow an adoption by a single person. If you would like to see criteria for your particular state, go to www.adoptuskids.org/for-families/state-adoption-and-foster-care -information and click on the state you reside in. For international requirements, go to adoption.state.gov/country_information.php and choose the country you are interested in to see a list of criteria for an adoptive parent.

Q.
What are the typical costs to adopt in the United States?

A.
Domestic adoption of an infant is approximately $10,000 to $50,000. Adopting via the foster care system is usually free. Any costs incurred for fos-adopt, such as fingerprinting and Home Study fees, are typically reimbursed upon finalization. This funding is provided by the federally funded Adoption Assistance Program. International adoption fees vary by country but are between $10,000 and $60,000.

Q.
What background information do prospective parents adopting via domestic, international, and fos-adopt receive on a child?

A.
This depends on the method of the match. For domestic adoption, usually full parental background information is provided, plus periodic ultrasounds, drug testing, and medical checkups. For fos-adopt, full disclosure is the law and all information that is known will be provided to the adoptive parents. For international adoption, it varies per country, though usually little background information is available. It is advisable to retain a translator who may make inquiries on your behalf.

Q.
How many mandatory social worker home visits are there during the process if you adopt via domestic, fos-adopt, or international adoption?

A.
For domestic adoption this depends on the state where you adopt. Most require a supervision period of six months. For example, in California four visits are required, whereas in Virginia they require three visits.

For fos-adopt there are usually one to three visits per month until the adoption is finalized; most states require the child to be in the home at least six months before the adoption is finalized.

For international adoption there aren’t home visits after your Home Study is completed, but if you choose to re-adopt the child in the United States, you will have one supervised home visit. More information follows.

Q.
What is re-adoption?

A.
In most international adoptions a final adoption decree is issued prior to the child leaving the country. When this occurs, some families choose to do a re-adoption in their state of residence, which will give the child an adoption decree from the United States and a birth certificate issued from their state of residence. Re-adoption is not required.

Q.
Is an attorney necessary to finalize any form of adoption?

A.
Typically yes, but it depends on the state. In California, families who do an agency adoption may finalize themselves. Also, most self-help centers at the local courthouse will help with the correct documents needed to file. For fos-adopt, it depends on the counties; some will finalize the adoption for you; others will assign an attorney to you at no cost to finalize the adoption.

If you adopt via foster care and cannot afford an attorney, on National Adoption Day, several hundred attorneys and judges work for free to finalize the adoption of several hundred children nationwide.

International adoptions are usually finalized prior to leaving the country, though a family can choose to do a re-adoption, which can be done by an agency or attorney.

Q.
In a domestic adoption how are prospective parents matched with an infant?

A.
Prospective parents write a short biography or letter, attach a photo, then register with a licensed adoption agency, facilitator, or attorney. Ordinarily, the birth mother and/or birth father choose the family based on the bios and pictures presented. The attorney or agency will facilitate the exchange of finances between the birth mother and the prospective parents. The adopting parents typically cover the birth mother’s expenses during the period of the pregnancy.

Q.
What is an open adoption?

A.
In a domestic, international, or fos-adopt situation, an open adoption is when birth parents and the adopting parents know of one another and mutually decide what their ongoing relationship will be. This could mean other family members as well. For instance after the adoption, a grandmother may want phone contact or physical visitation with the child. It could mean there will be a yearly phone call between the adopting mom and the birth mother. In some open adoptions, the adopting family is present for the birth, but then further communication between the birth family and the child is completely and mutually terminated. Sometimes the birth parent and the adopting family exchange addresses and phone numbers and stay in contact for the entire upbringing of the child. Open adoption is consensual by both parties. The most common open adoption is pictures and updates yearly until the child turns eighteen. No one must participate in an open adoption unless it’s initially agreed upon. Each situation is unique and depends on what is best for the child.

Q.
What is a closed adoption?

A.
Closed adoption means there is no contact between the birth parents and adoptive parents and usually means the birth parents and adoptive parents do not know anything about one another. The intermediaries between birth and adoptive families can be social workers, a private lawyer, or a private adoption agency. More information follows.

Q.
What is a private adoption?

A.
Also known as independent adoption, in North America there are usually two types of domestic adoption: agency and attorney.
Private
refers to the process being private between an attorney and client. An attorney, rather than an adoption agency, may oversee and complete the process for a private adoption. The attorney matches the prospective parents with the birth mother and is the intermediary throughout the process. The term
private
doesn’t refer to the adoption being “open” or “closed.” The costs, approximately $10,000 to $50,000, will cover the birth mother’s expenses and the fees to terminate rights and finalize the adoption. The extent of time a birth mother has to change her mind varies from state to state; it could be anywhere from twenty-four hours to thirty days. The length of time to finalize an adoption is also different per state law; it ranges from a few days to six months, or in some cases longer. The birth parents will give their consent to the adoption and in most cases the state department will complete the supervision visit(s) and final report for finalization.

Q.
What is a private adoption agency?

A.
This varies by country, but in the United States or Canada, a private adoption agency is a state-licensed agency that assists prospective parents and birth parents in the adoption of children via domestic or international means. These agencies are monitored to ensure they are following the state or provincial adoption regulations. They assist in matching children with adopting parents, completing the Home Study, and supervising the adoption.

Q.
What are the qualifications required to work in a private adoption agency?

A.
The qualifications vary by state, though most require that social workers have a master’s degree as well as many hours of initial and yearly training.

Q.
In the United States and Canada, if you adopt domestically, do you have to foster before your adoption is legally finalized?

A.
No.

Q.
Do social workers work only for the government and Foster Family Agencies (FFAs), or could they also work for licensed private agencies?

A.
All state-regulated agencies (county departments, FFAs, or licensed private agencies) are required to have social workers to complete adoptions.

Q.
What’s the difference between an adoption agency worker and a facilitator?

A.
A private adoption agency is licensed by the state and follows strict regulations including that social workers must have a master’s degree in social work. A facilitator is helpful in that this person acts as a go-between for parents and agencies and acts as a matcher, but the facilitator will refer out to an agency or an attorney to complete the adoption.

Q.
In the United States and Canada, if you adopt via fos-adopt, do you have to foster before your adoption if legally finalized?

A.
Normally yes. A child is placed with a family for a period of six months or longer as the state is working to legally emancipate that child. Even if the child is already legally freed, this is still called fostering because there is a six-month period of waiting for a court date to finalize the adoption. This time allows the social workers to visit the home, assess the match, and address any concerns. A person working directly with state social workers or with social workers at an FFA may voice their concern to not be matched with a child who isn’t legally emancipated. In addition, a person may voice their concern if they are presented with a case they feel they’re not equipped to take on. This means that if you meet a child and do not feel it is a match, you may tell your social worker how you feel. The social workers want it to fit—they do not want you to feel pressured in any way.