Intentions - SF9 (34 page)

"We started kissing and stuff, and he kept putting my hand on it. But it kept getting soft-I guess 'cause I'm a girl. So after a while he had me get on my hands and knees so he could act like I was…you know."

"So he could imagine you were a boy," Ryan supplied.

"Yeah. I guess so. I told him we couldn't really do it 'cause I didn't want it to hurt, so he just kinda rubbed against me. It felt pretty good, and he liked it too, I think."

"Jennie, this is really important. Think carefully about everything you remember. Did he at any time put his penis in your vagina?"

"Unh…I don't think so," she said slowly. "Would I know for sure?" She looked up at Ryan with such trust that the woman felt like going to Mrs. Willis' house and knocking her silly for letting her child face such adult experiences alone.

"Was he wearing a condom, Jen?"

"Huh-uh, he said he was just gonna rub against me," she explained.

"I understand that, Honey, but this is important. Did he come inside of you?"

"Umm, I'm not sure how you know that. I'm not really sure," she reiterated, looking as confused as she was embarrassed.

"Oh, Jennie," Ryan said, dropping her head onto the small shoulder. "You're so young to be playing games like this. I just hate to see you put yourself in so much danger."

As Ryan straightened up, Jennie looked up at her with big blue eyes and asked, "Will it be okay, Ryan?"

"I'm not sure, Jen. I'm not sure." She shook her head slowly, gazing at her young friend and watching her composure shatter. Within seconds she was crying fiercely, her small shoulders shaking as she sobbed deeply.

"I'm scared, Ryan. I…I…didn't want to do it, but he really wanted to and…and I didn't want to be a big baby."

Ryan grasped her shoulders and pulled her onto her lap where she rocked her and hummed a little tune for a long while. "I'll do my best to make sure you're okay," she promised, "but we have to go see the doctor today."

Jennie tensed up noticeably but Ryan reassured her. "I'll be with you. I promise I'll take care of you."

Ryan knew that she should just call Jennie's social worker and tell her everything that had happened, but she couldn't bear to think of the child spending the day at some impersonal clinic. She decided to take Jennie to the doctor first, then call the social worker.

When she was composed, Ryan got up and made another emergency call to Alison Aiken, recalling that it had been nearly a year since she had taken Jamie down to see her. Ryan hated to go so far, but she didn't know any other gynecologist and from her experience with Jamie, she knew Alison would be gentle with the child. She spoke with the very competent receptionist and told her that she had a young friend who might have had sex with a boy and that there was a chance the boy was HIV positive. The receptionist told her to bring the girl down, but she couldn't promise that they wouldn't have a long wait.

They had to wait nearly an hour and a half, but they were finally shown into Alison's private office a little before eleven. The doctor strode into the room and gave both women a friendly smile. "Uhh, hi," she said, looking from one to the other. "Who am I seeing today?"

"This is Jennie," Ryan explained, "and I'm Ryan. We met about a year ago when I came down with Jamie Evans," she reminded her.

Alison smiled and said, "Oh yes, how is Jamie?"

"She's great," Ryan said, her smile brightening at the mere mention of her partner. "Jennie isn't doing so well, though. She had a sexual experience on Tuesday night, and we want to make sure that she isn't pregnant. She didn't use protection, so we can't rule out STDs either," she said, giving a small nod at Alison's severely raised eyebrow. Jennie was staring down at the floor, and Alison used her best bedside manner to draw her out.

"Do you want to tell me what happened, Jennie?" she asked softly.

"I was fooling around with a guy and he was rubbing his thing against me. He came, but I don't know if he was in me or not when he did it," she said quickly, having learned the important points from Ryan's questioning.

"Okay," Alison said slowly. "Do you know that there is a significant amount of sperm that comes out of a man's penis even before he ejaculates?"

Jennie's eyes grew wide as she shook her head slowly. "I…I thought that if he didn't…you know…"

"No, Jennie. It's very possible to get pregnant if his penis was inside of you at any time during the act. How old are you, Jennie?"

"14," she said softly.

"When did you first get your period?"

"Right before I turned thirteen," she stated, her voice shaking.

"Would you like me to prescribe birth control pills for you today, Jennie?"

"No, I'm gay," she explained as if that fact inhibited fertility.

"It doesn't matter what you are if you have a penis in your vagina, Jennie. You can still get pregnant."

"I know," she said softly. "I just made a mistake. I won't do it again," she sniffed, trying to hold back the tears.

"Have you ever had a gynecological exam, Jennie?"

"Umm," she looked at Ryan for help as her eyes grew wide. "I don't know."

"Let's do one today," Alison suggested. She buzzed for the nurse and asked her to do the preliminaries. Ryan got up too, but Alison indicated that she should stay for a minute.

"I'll be in as soon as you're ready," Ryan assured the girl as she got up to follow the nurse. Jennie looked panic-stricken so Ryan reassured her, "She's just going to weigh you and get you to give a urine sample. No big deal."

Jennie nodded and followed the nurse. As they left, Alison blew out a breath and asked, "What's the story here?"

"I mentor her through a program for gay teens at risk. She has a very shaky home situation, and her mom threw her out on Wednesday. It turns out that she threw her out because she was out all night with this guy. Jennie definitely identifies as gay and so does the boy, but knowing the crowd she hangs out with, he might be a prostitute. So you should check her for every known STD, including HIV," she said softly, feeling the bile at the back of her throat from merely saying the word.

"Well, most of them won't show up this early. Is there any way you can find out if the boy is HIV positive?"

"I can try," she agreed, shrugging her shoulders. "But I wouldn't be reassured even if Jennie assured me that he was okay."

"No, of course not," Alison agreed. "We'll do an HIV test today, and then she can have another done in six months. Do you feel comfortable being in the room with her, or should I have my nurse be there?"

"I think she'll do better if I stay," Ryan said, "but I sure hope her mother never finds out about this. She's not very friendly towards gay people in general, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let her intimidate me from being there for this kid."

"Okay, let's go," Alison said forcefully as she escorted Ryan to the examining room.

Much to Ryan's relief, Alison found no signs of penetration, commenting casually that Jennie's hymen was intact. That threw Ryan for a loop, but she didn't want to make an issue out of it at this point, so she just exchanged glances with Alison and nodded. Nothing abnormal showed up during the exam, which made sense since the incident was only two days before. Alison told Ryan that she would call her with the results of the blood tests since Jennie did not want her mother to know about the incident. Just before she left, Alison bent over until she was eye to eye with Jennie. "I'm sorry you had to go through all of this, but I hope you understand how dangerous it is to play around without proper safer sex precautions. You're risking your future and your life," she said.

Jennie just nodded slowly and continued to stare at the floor. When Alison left, Ryan went over to the table and gave her a very caring hug. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, but I didn't like that exam."

"Nobody really likes them," Ryan informed her. "And if you keep your private parts private, you don't have to have another one for a few years!"

"That's good enough for me!" Jennie agreed immediately. "Off limits! Once was enough."

Ryan paid for the office visit and the lab tests, silently thanking Jamie for the American Express card. Jennie had insurance, but Ryan knew the claim information would go to Mrs. Willis, and she definitely did not want that to happen.

On the way back to the city, Ryan tried to tactfully get some more information about the boy that Jennie had been with. "Tell me about this guy," she asked casually.

"He's just a guy I know from the neighborhood," Jennie said.

"Which neighborhood?" Ryan asked.

"My um…my mom's neighborhood," she said.

"How old is he?" Ryan asked.

Jennie stared out the window for a minute before replying, "I'm kinda embarrassed to tell."

Oh, oh,
Ryan thought.
This kid doesn't embarrass easily.
"You can tell me, Jen."

"Okay," she grumbled. "He's thirteen. He's still in grade school."

"Really?" Ryan asked in surprise. "How do you know him?"

"He just hangs out with some other people I know. He's kind of a loser."

"So why were you with him?"

"I don't know. I kinda feel sorry for him. The guys pick on him a lot cause he's pretty obvious about being gay. That kinda bothers me, so I talk to him."

"Has he been with many other boys?"

"No," she said, laughing softly and shaking her head at the mere suggestion. "The guys would torture another guy that even talked to him. He told me he hasn't even kissed anybody," she said with an embarrassed giggle.

"So you're sure he hasn't had sex with a guy?"

"Yeah. I think he would have told me if he had. I mean, it's kinda pathetic to be gay and have the first person you kiss be a girl, isn't it?" she asked with a wry look.

"I wouldn't say it's pathetic, but how does he know he's gay?"

"Everybody knows he's gay," she said dramatically. "He's SO gay."

Ryan gave her a pointed look and asked, "If he hasn't had any sexual experiences, how did he know to get you into a position that he liked?"

"He watches tons of porn," Jennie informed her, rolling her eyes. "He said he comes home every day and gets on the Internet for hours. I think he was just doing what he sees in movies. I mean, I really don't think he was trying to come inside me. He just didn't know what to do."

Thank you, Jesus!
Ryan prayed silently. "I believe you, Jen, but we should still go back to the doctor in six months and have you checked for STDs again."

"Will she have to put that thing in me?" she asked warily.

"I'm not sure. I know it's uncomfortable, but when you become sexually active you just have to do it," Ryan insisted.

"Okay, I'll go," she agreed glumly. As they rode along Jennie looked up at Ryan and said, "If I could choose a mom, I'd choose you."

Ryan lifted her hand and rubbed Jennie's stubbly head. "If I could choose a younger sister, I'd choose you," she said with a smile. "I would not have been a very good mother if I'd had you at ten."

She grinned up at her and admitted, "It seems like you're a lot older than me. I forget it's just ten years."

"Sometimes ten years seems like a lot," Ryan agreed. "Some of the women I used to date were ten years older than I was, and it seemed like forever."

Jennie looked at her with a quizzical expression and asked, "Have you ever been with a guy?"

Ryan shook her head briskly. "No, I was never interested in guys like that. And since I went to an all girls school, I didn't have many boy friends my age. My brothers' friends were always interested, but my brothers would have killed them if they had even asked me out!"

"I don't blame them," she said with a little blush.

"Who, my brothers?"

"No, their friends. You're about the best-looking woman I've ever seen," Jennie said as she gazed at her friend appraisingly.

"No…trust me on this, Kiddo. The best-looking woman you'll ever see is the one you fall in love with!"

When Ryan stumbled in the door from practice, Jamie was waiting for her with a warm embrace and a hot dinner. "I fed the children earlier so we could have some time alone," she smiled. "Now tell me all about your day."

"Whew! There is a lot to tell," Ryan said. "I learned a lot about my young friend today."

Jamie tilted her head in question as Ryan continued, "It seems that our little radical queer friend just had her first real sexual experience on Tuesday night."

"Are you kidding?" Jamie gasped. "I thought she had more experience than you do!"

"Gee, thanks," Ryan smirked.

"You know what I mean, Hon. Tell me what happened?"

"Well, the kicker is that her first time getting naked was with a boy."

"A boy? Jennie?"

"Yep. I was as surprised as you are, but it seems that her worldliness is a carefully cultivated image. She has had plenty of crushes on girls, and she was thrown out of the house the first time because her mom caught her kissing her best friend, but she's never actually had genital contact with another girl."