Interrupted (The Progress Series) (24 page)

Her shoulders slouched and she angled her head in sympathy. “No, Jess. If you need to talk about it, I’m here. I’ll listen. Tell me how I can help.”
It still really does kill me inside that I did this to him. Look at him.

His knee began to bounce with her last word. He shook his head and attempted a smile. “No. I’m fine, Charlie. Just forget I said anything.” His jaw clenched and he took a sip of his beer.

“But I—”

“Dance with me,” he interrupted, putting his bottle down on the table.

“What?” Her hands flew up and her brow set.

“Here.” He stood and reached for her hand. “Come dance with me.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Why would I… I mean, what?”

“I’ll accept your apology if you dance with me.”

What!? What is he thinking? He wants an apology?

“An apology for what? For leaving you that night? That’s going to make everything all better? And even if I did apologize, you’re trying to bait me with
that
?” she asked, annoyed.

“Is it working?” The playful eagerness in his voice was jarring.

“No! Wait, what are we talking about? Keep your thoughts straight. You’re jumping from subject to subject and I…”

He leaned down and removed the words coming from her mouth with a brief brush of his lips. She froze.

“Charlie?” he whispered, still alarmingly close to her face.

She had no words. No thoughts. Her mind was completely empty except for a focus on her craving for him. Her entire body stiffened under the sensitivity of his lips and a tingling sensation moved up and down her arms. She became uncomfortable with the alertness her nipples now showed, rubbing roughly against her bra.

He moved closer and breathed words into her ear. “Don’t fight it, Charlie.” Smiling and taking her hand to pull her to a standing position, he said, “Come. Dance with me.”

The music was slow. The band hadn’t begun playing yet, but there was faint music over the speakers. Charlie and Jesse were the only two on the floor. She continued staring at him with wanting and urgency.

How the fuck did he do that? How does he strip me of all my self control?

“What are you doing, Jess?” she whispered as she tried to make sense of her own actions.

“Going with how I feel right now. I never did get that dance I wanted with you. So shut up and let me do this.” He smiled and his thumbs moved down to her hips, firmly pressing into her while tugging her closer.

“How did you do that? I don’t understand how you can…” She swallowed, still awestruck.

He smirked. “Oh, so I have your attention, then? Good,” he said quietly, lifting the corner of his mouth. He eased his hips into hers, swaying with the gentle music. “It’s easy with you, Charlie. Because I know what I want, I know what I need, and I’m going to have to go home tonight alone, knowing you’ll never be mine. There’s not much I have to lose, because I’ve already lost you. So let me have this one dance.” He put his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. “God, I missed that perfume.”

She pulled her head back slightly and stared into his stormy blue eyes. “You’re killing me, Jess.” Her hands began to tremble.

His hand resting on the back of her neck, he slid his thumb upward and gently rubbed her cheek. “See, Charlie? It’s so much better when we just slow down. When it’s just you and me. Do you feel that? Everything else has stopped. We’re the only two people that matter.” His eyes melted as he continued the steady motion with his hips.

This shouldn’t feel as good as it does. My hands aren’t shaking anymore and this moment is perfect. Too perfect. I’ve never had this kind of pull with Sam. This untamed urge to—Sam! No!

Her reality came crashing back as the drummer from the band simultaneously dropped his equipment on the stage. Charlie pulled away in desperation and took three steps toward the table when she felt Jesse’s hand tugging her back.

“No!” was the only word that escaped before Jesse had her back in his arms.

“Quit trying to leave me,” he whispered before his lips engaged hers. Exchanging one of the most intense kisses she’d ever been a part of, she allowed the tip of her tongue to touch his briefly before her better senses took hold.

“Is this why you brought me here?” she shouted, pushing him backward. “Is this what you want from me? First an apology, then to fuck me? What did you think I’d do? Come running back to you as soon as you rolled into town? You think it’s that easy? You think
I’m
that easy? Well newsflash for you, Jess. You might be able to sleep with the entire city and have them smitten with you in just a few minutes, but I know exactly how much damage you can do to a girl. Remember? I’m the one who experienced all that is ‘Jesse’ and survived to tell the story!” she said with tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Don’t do this,” he said quietly.

“Don’t do what? Tell you the truth? Here, I’ll tell you the truth about your apology…” She took a deep breath before she spoke again, this time quieter. “For two minutes out of every day, I think of you. I think about that night. I think about what a wildly inappropriate thing I did by leaving you. And for those two, very long minutes, I feel detestable, and cruel. I think I’m a monster for it. And then I stop, and realize, that
everything you do
is detestable and cruel. Every word out of your mouth is wildly inappropriate. And then I’m fine. And I don’t think about you for another minute until you enter my head again the next day. So, take some fucking comfort in the fact that I regret what I did, and leave me alone. You want an apology? Well that’s the best I got.” Grabbing her purse, she made her way quickly out the front doors.

Where the hell am I going? I don’t know how to get back home. Ahhh! Damn it! Damn him. Just put the fucking key in the ignition before he comes out here. Go! Get on the road and pray you’ve chosen the right direction.

‘God, I miss that perfume.’ Oh and, ‘we’re the only two people that matter.’ Give me a break! What about, ‘I know what I want and I know what I need.’ Where does he get this stuff? It’s not like he can’t have any girl he wants. He’s perfection. Well, as long as he keeps his damn mouth shut. Why is he doing this? What are his motivations?

Wait, wait, wait a minute. Why me? Why has he chosen me? Is it just because I’m convenient? No, I should imagine I’m quite inconvenient. Okay, what did he say about the ocean? He said he woke up next to the driftwood on the beach. The driftwood saved him. Okay, I gotta put this together. So on one hand he says he needs me and that ‘we’re the only two people that matter.’ On the other hand he has the chessboard that I gave him with the king and queen in their place built into the table.

Holy shit.

He thinks that I am the one who can save him.

*

God, he’s so tragically beautiful.

*

After finding her way home and walking into her apartment that evening, she unplugged her phone and noticed two missed calls from Sam. Heating up a cup of cocoa in the microwave, she heard a knock at her door.

Her heart raced as she approached the peephole.

Yep. Jess.

She put the up the chain to keep her contact with him minimal. She opened the door, only for it to stop two inches later.

“Hey. Can we talk?” he asked, eyes burning. “No, Jess. Go away,” she said, trying to close the door, but he shoved his foot into the empty space to stop her from slamming it shut.

“Is he here?”

Feeling obligated to answer his question, she shook her head and looked down.

“Let me in, then.”

“No. If you insist on speaking with me, we’ll do it at your place. Let me get some clothes on and I’ll be over when I’m done.”

“Fair enough. See you in a bit.”

She shut the door and covered her face.

What am I doing?

Shooting Sam a quick text, she took a deep breath and walked out the door.

I love you. xx

“I hate you.”

“Nice. Nice way to greet a guest,” she said, walking in to find Jess in his living room.

“No. I
really
hate you,” he said as he took a step closer.

“What are you doing, Jess? Knock it off,” she said, swallowing her stomach ache.

He took another step toward her.

“Jess, don’t,” she said.

This is not happening. This is not happening.

Jess was staring at her intensely. Every time she turned her head, he’d turn his with her. His hands remained in the back pockets of his jeans. When she went to move, his body jerked like he was hunting a fearful prey.

Say what you have to in order for him to stop. Don’t let him get closer, Charlie. You won’t be able to take this one back. Listen to your heart, not your mind. Ignore what you think you want. Think of Samuel.

“How about we avoid a fight tonight, okay? I’ll just go back to my apartment and we can talk tomorrow,” she said, trying to slink her way back to the door.

Her words appeared unheard. He didn’t even blink. “I want to show you
how much
I hate you,” he said softly.

“I’m not going to sleep with you, Jess. I’ve already decided this. There’s too much at risk. No matter how much I want—”

Finally hearing her words, his eyes shifted slightly and he cocked his head to one side. “Do you miss me? Do you miss me inside of you?” he asked.

Holy shit.

Her thoughts turned against her and her mind was flying with images of their past. One after another, a montage of physical and emotional scenes flashed. She couldn’t stop them, and she didn’t want to. With those simple words, her mind switched gears. She was no longer in control. If she was looking for a sign for what she should do, this was it. There was no way she could resist him. She longed to feel as beautiful as she did when he first touched her.

“Yes,” she whispered.

He closed the distance between them and whispered, “I hate you.” Pulling her to the floor, he began kissing her, ferociously and unrefined. There was an aggression from him that she hadn’t expected. He was angry,
very
angry, and she could feel it in every touch.

Ripping off her pajama bottoms and panties, he urgently spread her legs. She would’ve protested if she had wanted him stop, but ever since her morning shower, she had been thinking about this. If this was the revenge he needed, she’d let him have it and then some. She ached for his revenge. She had dreamed of it for over a year.

“I need you inside me,” she said as she pulled the collar of his shirt, forcing his chest to collide with hers. She returned the callous kiss and bit his bottom lip.

She hadn’t seen him remove his jeans, but he was ready for her. He placed one hand on the floor behind her shoulder and the other held her leg around his waist. She heard him catch his breath as he began his fierce consumption of her.

He ripped her shirt down to expose her bra. Pulling out one breast, he began biting her nipple. His pace was fast and rigorous and he showed her no mercy.

Charlie was frightened. For the first time in many years, her mind uncovered a memory that she had learned to cope with. His eyes were callous and his touch was mean. She suddenly had no urge to stay and wanted nothing more than to find her bed. Her eyes began to pool with tears just as Jesse stopped.

Laying his head down onto her chest, still inside of her, unmoving, he could hear her rapid heartbeat.

“You’re scaring me. Please, Jess,” she whispered.

He closed his eyes and Charlie felt a tear drop to her breast. It only made it harder for her to hide her emotion.

“Look at me, Charlie.” His eyes now softer and glossy, he waited. He searched her eyes for something as she tried not to focus on him. He moved his hips once, slowly easing in and out again. He leaned in and kissed away the tear on her cheek.

Waiting for her heart rate to slow and her breathing return to normal, he spoke again. “It’s me, Charlene.”

She took a deep breath in and nodded her head.

It is him. This is my Jess.

Slowly he began again, watching her expression and giving her soft kisses up the base of her neck up to her lips.
And instantly it changed. The exchange between them was like the first time they had made love. The pull, the wanting, the needing, and all of the desire was driving every kiss, every nudge, and every whisper.

“Your skin is so beautiful; so soft. God, I missed you,” he said, keeping his pace deliberate and tempered.

She could hear his breathing quicken as he kept his hips gently swaying in and out. And when he found his release, he called her name, “Charlene.”

*

He stood and grabbed his jeans from the floor, clenching his jaw and maintaining unresponsiveness. Acting tough and unbreakable now—he had done what he came to do that night. His mission was accomplished and he certainly wasn’t going to be sentimental about it anymore. His posture changed and his eye contact faded. Charlie knew immediately that this was the mask he intended to put on for her once the night was complete, and she understood why. The only thing she could do was try to be equally strong.