Intersection (15 page)

“Cassidy…I was going to tell you as soon as they left…you were already upset…”

“When they left? Yeah… so… a little more
exposure
than you bargained for, Agent Toles?”

Now Alex was getting annoyed. Brackett meant nothing to her and it was something that happened before she even knew Cassidy. “That’s not fair,” Alex answered.

“Well, I’ll tell you what,” Cassidy said as she struggled to hold back tears. “I’m not so easily ‘exposed’ Agent Toles.”

“What the hell? Brackett is a coworker.”

“Really? Pretty friendly at the FBI…”

“I’m not doing this,” Alex said. She was feeling both guilty and defensive and neither was an emotion that she cared for.

“Well, good then,” Cassidy said. “That makes two of us.” The teacher turned and walked up the stairs slamming her bedroom door. Alex bit her bottom lip so hard she drew blood. She rubbed her temples and headed up the stairs, closing her own door with some force. She threw on her running clothes and headed out the front door with a thud.

When Alex Toles was upset she ran. When she was angry she ran. When she was confused she ran. When she was scared she ran. She was all of those things now and she ran hard, as hard as she could, trying along the way to clear her mind. At first she muttered to herself that Cassidy had no right to be upset and that Brackett was a bitch. Then she tried telling herself that she was being foolish, Cassidy was just a conquest that had gotten out of hand. Then she ran harder. Then she pictured the small blonde woman sleeping in the car, the mother who gently caressed her little boy’s hair while he slept, and the beautiful woman who looked into her eyes so deeply when they kissed just a day ago. She stopped running and bent over with her hands on her knees.

“Oh… Christ, Toles….” She scolded herself. “When are you gonna’ stop running?” The truth was pressing in on her chest like heavy stones in a wall. She always ran away when things got tough emotionally. A fight she could handle, a case,
a project, but love? She regulated her breathing and started to walk back toward the house. She had no idea what she was going to say. All she could think about as she walked was how Cassidy must be feeling. Was Cassidy okay? Could Cassidy love her? Just Cassidy. So much was upside down in the woman’s life and although Alex had not asked; she suspected that Cassidy had never been with another woman; perhaps never even entertained the idea. She should never have left. Never have run away. The agent started toward the door when she saw a photographer. Immediately she thought of Dylan and her anger began to churn. She glared at the man and he shied away. “Smart move,” she thought. She reached the porch and stood there for a long moment trying to build up the courage to enter. She quietly climbed the stairs and stood in the doorway to her room. Cassidy’s door was closed. She let out a long sigh and headed for the shower.

Cassidy had heard the front door close. She had spent the last couple of hours in tears. At first she was furious with Alex. She felt stupid; of course she was just another of the agent’s conquests. Brackett was beautiful and she was certain that the attractive agent was far worldlier in certain ways just by her demeanor. Here she was thinking she might be falling in love with Alex and all she was to the agent was a booty call. But after a while she started thinking about Alex buckling Dylan in, Alex’s expression when she found Cassidy safe in the kitchen the day before, Alex’s face as the soda dripped down her lip, Alex’s kiss. She should have given the agent a chance to talk. She was so hurt and so scared. She told Alex that; after all. She could scarcely comprehend what she was feeling for the dark haired woman. Right now as her tears fell all she wanted was the agent’s arms around her and the reality of what that might mean terrified her. Cassidy got up and washed her face. She did her best to steady herself as she began the walk down the short hallway to Alex’s room. The door was open. Alex was bent over the chair in the corner in sweats and a T-shirt, her
hair wet from the shower. Very gingerly Cassidy stepped into the doorway. “Alex,” she called so softly Alex barely heard her. Alex didn’t move. “Alex,” she said a little louder. “Would you please look at me?”

“I can’t,” Alex said.

“Alex…I…”

“No, Cassidy, I mean I really can’t…my back…”

Cassidy moved across the room and found that the woman she was just admitting she might actually love was doubled over the chair. Cassidy’s hands gently touched the agent’s arm and she tried to look into Alex’s eyes. “What happened?”

“It’ll pass,” the agent said but Cassidy could hear the pain rattling in her voice.

“What can I do?” Cassidy asked. Alex tried to inhale a deep breath and winced as her back twitched. “Okay…I’m going to call somebody…”

Alex clasped the woman’s hand, “no, Cass…..no… don’t call anyone…please…”

“Alex… you can’t even…” every trace of anger had vanished from them both. Cassidy’s only concern was Alex right now.

“It could affect my work… Cassidy…just help me stand up straight.” Cassidy helped the agent brace herself until she was finally erect. Her green eyes were red from the tears that had fallen for so long just shortly before. Alex looked in them now and knew instantly. She reached for the woman’s cheek. “I’m so sorry, Cassidy… I should have told you…. Everything… I didn’t mean….and Brackett – that was just…”

Alex was rambling faster than Cassidy could keep up. “Stop,” the blonde woman who stood a head shorter than the agent said. “It doesn’t matter right now…let’s just get you…”

“It does matter,” Alex touched the woman’s cheek. Cassidy closed her eyes and kissed the hand that caressed her.

“Alex… I’m serious… we can talk about this later.”

“Cass….”

“It’s okay,” Cassidy looked at the agent who had a tear falling down her cheek. “Is it your back?” Alex just kept looking at the woman silently. She closed her eyes as the pain in her back began to slowly subside and a wave of raw emotion replaced it. “Alex…”

“Cassidy…I just… I…” Cassidy looked into the woman’s blue eyes as they looked back into hers. Alex wanted to tell her, right now, that she loved her, but she was afraid it would be too much. “I would never hurt you, Cassidy…never.”

Cassidy knew that was true. She knew it the moment she met Alex Toles. “I know that,” she said. “Let’s get you to the bed.”

“No… I need to walk… maybe the couch.”

Cassidy nodded and the two made their way one step at a time down the hallway, and then down each stair slowly, repeating each action as carefully as possible; the small blonde supporting the weight of the strong, muscular agent until they finally reached the couch. Cassidy put a pillow behind the agent’s back and scurried off to the kitchen. She filled a glass half way with ice and poured the Diet Coke over it. She reached into her bag and pulled out three ibuprofen and headed back to the living room. “Here, take these,” she instructed. Alex complied. Cassidy sat on the far end of the couch and pulled the agent’s legs onto her lap. They sat in total silence for what seemed hours before Cassidy spoke, “Alex?”

“Mmm?”

“Did you love her?” Alex was perplexed. “Agent Brackett, did you love her?” Alex could hear the fear in the woman’s voice as it quivered.

“Cassidy….I have loved exactly one person in my life.” Alex had promised herself as they sat in silence that she would answer all of the teacher’s questions honestly. Cassidy looked down and closed her eyes. Alex smiled and began to move her position.

“What are you doing? Alex you need to…” But the agent was already in her forward motion and in almost an instant she was sitting beside the teacher. “Alex….you don’t have to…” Cassidy fumbled through her words.

Alex took Cassidy’s hand. “You… Cassidy… I don’t even want to explain it…I don’t love Agent Brackett… I love you.”

Cassidy’s entire body went weak. “Alex…”

“Don’t say anything…please.” Alex kissed the woman and felt her lips gently part, her tongue searching softly for Alex’s. The agent responded as gently as she could. She wanted so badly to make love to Cassidy; her entire body hummed with energy as their kiss deepened. There was one thing she wanted more; that was for Cassidy to trust her completely. She broke the kiss slowly and looked at the green eyes searching hers. The agent took the woman in her arms and gently laid her back on the couch, holding Cassidy firmly against her.

Cassidy felt her body shiver from the contact. It was all so much for her to believe. She could smell Alex’s shampoo as the agent’s damp hair brushed against her face. She closed her eyes and inhaled. How could this be happening? Her breath rattled in her chest as she tried to hold back the tears that were beginning to rise again. Her anger was gone, but her fear lingered. Cassidy was unsure of so much right now, but more aware of what she felt than she ever had been in her life. “I don’t want you to let me go,” she confessed with some apprehension. In spite of the agent’s declaration the teacher feared pushing her away more than anything she ever had in her life.

Alex kissed the woman’s head softly and held her tighter to reassure her. “Never.”

assidy woke up in the same position she had fallen asleep in. She was all but on top of the agent who had drifted off as well. Her head was nestled on Alex’s chest and she could hear the steady thump of the agent’s heart in her ear. The smaller woman opened her eyes and looked at the figure beneath her. Her arm was draped over the agent and she closed her eyes and inhaled all the feelings coursing through her as she tenderly caressed the agent’s side. She allowed herself the luxury of just remaining close. The feel of Alex’s warmth, the calming sound of the agent’s heart; it all seemed to be whispering some truth to her now. She sighed when she heard the phone in the kitchen and slowly pried herself from the agent’s grasp. Alex looked peaceful, almost like a child as she slept, and Cassidy paused to take in the sight. She let her finger gracefully roll across the agent’s cheek and carefully lifted herself out of her position, ensuring that the sleeping woman remained at rest. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she placed her hand on the phone. The hours sleeping in the agent’s arms had been the most at peace she had felt in a long time. She didn’t want to leave that tranquility. “Hello,” she said quietly, glancing into the room and smiling at the sight of the agent fast asleep on the couch; exactly the same as she had left her.

“Mrs. O’Brien?”

“Yes?”

“Agent Fallon….is Agent Toles there?”

Cassidy sighed at the knowledge she would have to wake the woman. “Yes, she is…hold on.” She walked into the other room and softly touched Alex’s cheek, trying to cover the phone with her other hand. “Alex,” she called quietly. The agent stirred slightly and leaned into the woman’s touch. Cassidy smiled. “Alex…”

“What?” Alex mumbled. “Where did you go?” She said rubbing her eyes.

“Agent Fallon is on the phone,” Cassidy said softly. Alex opened her eyes and saw the face before her, green eyes affectionately exploring her expression. She smiled as best she could through her sleepiness and took the phone.

In spite of Cassidy’s attempt, Agent Fallon had overheard the tender exchange between the pair. “Fallon?” Alex asked trying to wake herself.