Into That Forest (2 page)

The closest people to us lived three hours away. Mr Carsons were a widower and a sheep farmer. His property were by itself between tarn country and wild bush. The tiger hunter stayed with him a lot and he killed dozens of tigers that ate Mr Carsons’ sheep. Mr Carsons had a daughter called Rebecca, though she liked to be called Becky. She were a year and a half older than me. She had no mother. Her mother got sick one day and the next day she were covered in purple sores. While Becky’s father were getting the buggy ready to take her to Hobart hospital, Becky found her mother near the shearing shed, naked as the day she were born, scratching at her sores, foaming at the mouth and crying out to Jesus to help the pain stop. Becky called out to her father but when he came the poor woman were gone to God.

I did not see Becky much, maybe ten times in two years, but we were the only girls in me whole world and so when we met we were close cos she were lonely too. She were like her father. He had this air ’bout him, he always seemed to be thinking deep thoughts or were glum like an undertaker. When they visited us they always wore their Sunday best. He’d be wearing a black suit and she’d have a lovely blue or pink dress. Oh yes, do not let me forget this - she always wore a cameo of a beautiful woman, who Becky told me were her mother.

One day when I were ’bout six years old - me dates are fuzzy but you will understand why later - me father, who was back from a long voyage, told us that Becky were coming to stay for two days cos Mr Carsons were going into Blackwood to buy a new buggy. She had only stayed overnight once - and that was the year before - so me father’s news made me shiver with pleasure. I were beside meself on the morning of her coming. I couldn’t sit still. I were running through the house, sitting on the verandah chair waiting for them, then, quick as a flash, I’d be down to the track to see if they were coming. I run into me parents’ bedroom to ask them again ’bout when Becky were coming and I seen me father tying up me mother in a corset. She never wore them when he were whaling but when he was back home she were never without one. It made her look so beautiful. She walked differently, not walked but glided like she were floating a foot above the ground. I knew it were to please me father and in pleasing him she were always in a daze of happiness.

Then Becky arrived in an old buggy with her father. I were so excited to clap eyes on her. I tingle now, thinking about it. You see, I were an alone kid most of me time with just me mother and maybe me father and Sam, me pig. Becky looked gorgeous in her Sunday best with her long golden hair falling down her back. Oh, how I were jealous of that hair cos I had a basin cut and me hair were black like dirt. Her father only stayed for a short time cos it were a long ride into Blackwood. He said he would be back the next evening to have tea with us and stay overnight.

Me father had plans for a picnic, so while he and me mother got everything ready, I took Becky into me parents’ bedroom and I showed her one of me mother’s corsets hanging from its stand. It had been made especially for her from baleen me father had got from a whale he harpooned. Becky knew nil ’bout whales and were amazed when I told her ’bout the baleen. That pleased me cos she were smarter and a year older than me and could spell words like
encyclopaedia
and
Tasmania.
Then I dragged her into the living room where I unscrewed the lid of the glass jar and shoved her nose down into it. Her face went all wrinkles when she first smelt the stink, but I told her to keep sniffing and then she smiled cos she could smell the musty, sweet scent. I told her how me father had taken it from inside a whale - and she went
Pooh
. I told her how expensive it were - worth twice as much as gold - cos perfume makers need it for their perfumes.

It were going on late morning when the four of us set out in me father’s small boat. Me father had one oar and Becky and I pulled on the other til we were so tired that me mother took over. The water were brittle cold, and so clear you could see the pale pebbles on the bottom. On the river banks forests were real thick and there were no sunlight in them. On the river it were so sunny that me mother, when she was not rowing, held up an umbrella so her skin wouldn’t burn. Me skin were already covered with angel kisses so I didn’t care but when Becky wasn’t rowing she sat under me mother’s white umbrella so the sun didn’t burn her either. When the sun did fall on her it made her blonde hair look like a saint’s halo. All the time me father rowed he told us yarns ’bout his whaling adventures. Becky’s eyes growed as large as saucers when he told her ’bout a man eaten by a sperm whale. It swallowed him right up but when they killed the whale and cut it open there he was, this fella looking like death but still alive. His black hair were bleached white, he had no top skin left and he were nearly blind. Then me father were telling us how he was going to give up whaling cos there were not many whales left when he cried out,
Look!
Before I could see what he was pointing at I heard me mother say,
Oh my goodness,
it’s one of those hyenas.

I turned and there, there on the bank not more than ten yards from us, were a wolf creature with yellow fur and black stripes. It were about the size of a real large dog. I can remember it to this day, cos it were the first one I had ever seen. It had a long muzzle and stripes on its sides like a tiger. The tail were thick and the fur so fine and smooth it were like it didn’t have hair.
It’s like a wolf
, I heard me mother say and indeed it looked like those wolves I seen in me fairytale books. It stared at us with huge black eyes, then it opened its jaw real slow til I thought it could swallow a baby. I’ll go bail if it were not the most bonny, handsomest thing I ever seen. It were like a magician cast a spell on me. I had heard about these creatures, but nothing prepared me for how noble and strange it looked. It snapped its jaws closed. It sounded like two metal doors slamming shut. Then it sort of loped, taking its time, into the bush and vanished.

I must have said it were beautiful, cos Becky hissed real angry,
They are killers. They kill sheep
. She were so firm about this that I were struck dumb. Me father laughed, thinking she were joshing, but she weren’t. As he began to row again, he told us why it were so rare to see them. He said they were like vampires. They came out at night and they drinked blood. Me father were chiacking and it made me laugh, but I were sitting next to Becky and I felt her body shiver all over. I can still feel her body against mine and how her fear gave me goosebumps. She went quiet and only perked up when we found a picnic spot.

We moored against a bank and spread out a blanket on the grass in a clearing. Me mother were radiant. Her face were like a pale moon in the shade of her hat. When I ate a banana I held a bit in me mouth and fed it into me father’s gob, pushing it through the strainer of his moustache, like I were one of those fishermen with a banana in his mouth luring a groper. After lunch Becky and me went for a walk. We were so thirsty our tongues were hanging out, so we shook the trunks of saplings and the rainwater, trapped in the leaves after the rain, sprinkled down on us and cooled us. Our clothes were wet with water, but we didn’t care. I remember, as if right now, standing in me dripping dress in the spotted light coming through the treetops and seeing me parents kissing under the umbrella as they sat on the blanket. I felt a joy dance through me. Me parents were still in love, we were all happy and I had a friend in Becky. An hour or so later, while Becky and me were chasing each other through the trees and bushes, I heard me mother calling us to come quick. I looked up. The sky had gone sick all of a sudden. Me father said we better go home cos a storm were brewing.

We raced the storm that were coming out of the west at a quicksticks speed. The wind and the current pushed us along so strong that we didn’t have to row and me father used one of the oars as a rudder. The sky fell so dark that it was more like night than day. Me father yelled above the wind and thunder that he’d try and seek a haven. As the water boiled and foamed we bounced along with me father unable to steer the boat towards the shore. The river were so wild that all we could do were to cling on tight to the sides of the boat or each other as we were flinged back and forward like puppets with no strings. The rain chucked down and we were soaked, so soggy it were like the rain were drilling through our skin into our marrow. There were loud bangs when tree boughs broke and fell into the madcap river. Then we were spun round, caught up in a whirlpool. Becky and I went dizzy and screamed in fear. Out of the corner of me eye I seen a giant tree bough bouncing along the river straight at us. Me mother cried out in terror just before it hit us with a crashing and smashing and the next thing I felt were me stomach plopping into me mouth as the boat went over. Oh me, Oh me . . . I must catch me breath in remembering this - I can still feel me terror and all that water pouring into me gob.

I felt meself pulled under like someone were grabbing me leg. Then I came up again only to see me mother’s face full of panic there in front of me for a moment before she vanished under the wild waves. I heard screams and again felt me foot were caught in something like an animal trap. I were yanked under. Somehow as I struggled for breath I pulled me foot free from a snag. The waters of the whirlpool grabbed me and hurled me up again, just as me lungs were bursting and then I seen me father. His face were filled with fear. He were crying out me name. He seen me and went to help when the boat, spinning round and round in the whirlpool, hit him in the back of the head and he sank under the waves. A bough floated past and I grabbed at it but me hands slipped on its greasy surface. I sinked again.

It were suddenly calm under the water and I felt like just letting go cos there were too much panic above me. Then through the churning murk I seen me mother. Her white dress were snagged on a tree bough under the water and she were waving her hands slowly in helpless fright. I wanted to swim to her and pull her free but a current grabbed me and chucked me up to the surface. As I were gasping for air, rain stinged me face. Out of the corner of me eye I seen Becky near the bank spinning slowly in a calm eddy. She were on her back, her eyes closed tight. I didn’t know if she were dead or not. A piece of a tree knocked me sideways, away from being sucked into the whirlpool towards the bank. Me arms felt heavy like bags of wet sand. I tried to move them so I could get closer to the shore. It seemed such a long way away but as I reached out to grab a tree root on the bank, something dark and huge suddenly loomed over me. It was a tiger, maybe the very tiger I seen before, and its giant jaws opened as if it were ’bout to take me. I screamed. It moved back from the edge of the bank. The current hugged me round me waist, like some devil wanting to pull me back out in the middle of the river, and I lunged at another of those tree roots but missed. I were ’bout to let the current carry me where it wanted when the tiger were near me again, its jaw wide open, its eyes like cold fire. It grabbed me wrist in its huge mouth and began to drag me. I didn’t feel any pain. Maybe I were past all pain. I let meself give in, and it dragged me onto the muddy bank. Once I were out of the river I lay on the wet, long grass panting and gulping for air til me head spinned and I blanked out.

How long I were unconscious, goodness knows, but when I woke up I were on me back in the same spot. The rain were not so heavy, more like a drizzle. For a few moments as I stared at those dark clouds I thought I had come awake from a bad dream. Then me ears were chock full of the loud noise of water bashing against the bank and I sat up. The river was churning something wild and it were rising and starting to creep onto the bank. I felt damp fur against the back of me neck. I turned round and screamed. The tiger, who must have been brushing up against me back, jumped away in fright. I felt a pain and seen teeth marks on me wrist. I tried to shoo it away. It moved back a couple of steps and stopped. It looked at me like it were confused, like I had hurt it or something. So many things went willy-willy through me mind: Where were me parents? Where were Becky? I felt so alone, so lost that I could not see. By that I mean, everything round me were a blur, everythingin side me were a blur of fear and shock. I heard meself crying and moaning,
My oh my, my oh my
. . . I still have nightmares ’bout that time. I still feel like a sharp piece of ice has stabbed me heart real deep. I was filled, filled to the brim with utter baffle and utter loneliness.

It were too much for me and all I could do was to plop down where I stood and stare for a long, long time at the teeth marks of the tiger on me wrist. I have no idea why I did that - maybe it was because I were in a state of shock, maybe because the teeth marks and the pain they caused was so real that it sort of brang me back to reality, whereas everything round me were a fog of too much to bear or understand. I had no fear, no panic any more. Then from a distance, or so it seemed, I heard me name being called. I looked up and seen Becky. She had a real daze on her face. Her dress were clinging to her and she were splattered with mud. She were getting up from the rock pool where she had been floating. For a few moments she did not see me but turned round and round in a panic, crying out me name, p’raps thinking she were alone.
I’m here
, I called out. She stopped in a mid-turn and her mouth dropped open in amazement as if she couldn’t believe I were real.
Hannah,
Hannah,
she cried, and ran towards me, slipping and falling and tumbling on the wet rocks and the muddy grass. When she got to me she hugged me so tightly I thought she’d crush me. We fell onto the ground and sat hugging there on the damp earth for a long time, not talking, just watching the angry river, hoping hope against hope that me parents would appear.