Into the Fire (17 page)

I clutch my jacket and pick up the pace. The sight of Cara’s Mazda is like heaven to my eyes. I run up to the entrance and see Cara and Rachel sitting on the grass, and my heart dives into my stomach. So much for making up for lost time with Cara.

“Hey,” I call, feeling my pulse race as she turns to face me and the sun catches the red streaks in her hair.

“Hey.” She looks like she wants to run over and hug me, but she holds back. Things with her Mom must not be any better. So much for my plan. I’ve been staying away for nothing.

“Well, this is awkward, mostly for me,” Rachel says. “How about I go for a swim while you two talk?” She doesn’t wait for an answer. She tears off her tank top and shorts and heads for the water.

I want to rush right over to Cara and wrap my arms around her. I’m dying to feel her warmth, to kiss her, to taste the cinnamon. But Cara wraps her arms around her waist, guarding herself from me.

“Do you want me to go?”

“No.” She looks up at me. “I just don’t know what to do right now.”

I sit down next to her so our shoulders are touching. “What do you want to do?” I turn my head so our faces are just inches apart, tempting her.

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“You know.”

“Maybe I do, but I can’t help noticing you aren’t backing away.” I lean a little closer and breathe in her cinnamon scent. “I missed that. The way you smell.” She backs away a little, but I grab her arm. “Please don’t. I’m going crazy without you, Cara.”

“Logan, I’m trying to do what’s fair for everyone.”

“Believe me, this isn’t it. I don’t know why I suggested time apart to begin with. It was insane. I take it back.” I reach for her, but she puts her hand on my chest. Her warmth spreads through my shirt.

“If you kiss me, I won’t be able to keep away anymore.”

“Good.” Ignoring her protests, I press my lips to hers. I try to go slow, but I’m starving for her touch. I lean her back on the grass, laying my jacket behind her head like a pillow and propping myself up so I don’t crush her.

“Logan.” She turns her head away, but I find her neck, trailing kisses down it until she brings her lips back to mine.

“Whoa!” Rachel says, and I have no choice but to pull away.

I sigh and sit up with my arms on my knees. “Can we help you?” I can’t keep the annoyance out of my voice.

“Well, if you’re offering to kiss me like that, I may have to reevaluate how much I value Cara’s friendship.” She winks at me, but I know she’s kidding. Not that I’d ever take her up on it. I don’t want anyone but Cara.

Cara fiddles with her bracelet. “Rach, please don’t make a big deal out of this.”

“Fine, I won’t mention that you told me Logan’s an amazing kisser.” She puts her hand to her mouth. “Oops, too late.” I smile, and Rachel says, “Don’t get too excited. She doesn’t have much to compare you to.”

“Rach!” Cara smacks her leg.

“Everyone’s so touchy lately. Just because someone dies, it doesn’t mean the rest of us have to stop living. In fact, I feel more alive now than ever.”

“Don’t be insensitive,” Cara says.

Rachel shakes her head. “I just want everything to go back to normal already.”

Cara reaches for my hand. “Me too.”

I don’t care that Rachel’s watching. I raise Cara’s hand and kiss her fingertips.

“Aw. I kind of want to puke, but good for you guys.” Rachel sits down next to Cara, showing no signs of leaving. “Hey, Logan, have you seen Nick lately?”

“Not since Thursday. Why?”

“Hmm.” Rachel shakes her head. “No one’s seen him. I’ve stopped by and called, but nothing. He must be a mess.”

“I talked to him on the phone once when he told me about the party, but that was it,” Cara says.

Obnoxious horn blaring makes us all turn around. Rob’s Nissan pulls up, and he jumps out.

“Hey, party lovers! Ready for tonight?” He walks up behind Cara and puts his hands on her shoulders. “What do you say I pick you up at nine, Tillman?”

I take his hands and physically remove them from Cara’s shoulders. “I guess you didn’t hear that Cara and I are together now, so I’ll let that slide.”

He narrows his eyes at me. “You’ll let it slide?”

Rachel smacks him in the side. “Knock it off, Rob.”

“What’s
your
deal?” Is he really that dumb?

“Nothing. Feel free to pick
me
up at nine, though.” Rachel averts her eyes, like she knows what’s coming.

“If Cara’s spoken for, I plan on meeting every single lady at the party. I can’t go showing up with you or it will scare them all away.”

“We have to cancel the party tonight,” Cara says.

“No way,” Rob protests. “I already bought the beer. I had to go all the way to Bridgewater to get it.”

“Why?” Rachel asks.

“I’ve got a cousin out there, and he works at a distributor.”

Cara’s eyes shoot daggers at him. “We don’t even know if Nick’s home. And if you think we’re letting you throw the party without him there, you may as well find yourself a new group of friends.”

It’s so inappropriate, but I smile. I’m proud of Cara for standing up to Rob.

“Whoa, Tillman. Relax. I’ll go check on him now.” Rob turns and hops in his car. He peels out of the parking lot, sending dirt and gravel flying everywhere.

“What an ass.” I don’t immediately realize I said it out loud.

“He’s not that bad. He just spent a lot of money on the beer and—” Rachel’s face falls. She can’t even stick up for him. She knows he’s a complete dick, but she’s into him anyway. “I’ll go after him and see if I can get ahold of Nick.”

“Rach, no,” Cara says. “You know how Rob gets when he’s in a mood. Don’t put yourself through that.”

It’s definitely heading into girl talk, so I take my exit. “I’ll go check on him.” I stand up and brush off my shorts.

Cara stands, too. “Logan, I don’t want you to feel like you have to leave because Rachel’s here. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, but she needs you right now.”

Cara smiles, the saddest smile ever. “I wish my Mom could see you now. There’s no way she wouldn’t like you.”

If only that were true.

Cara

“I can’t believe you let him leave.”

“Rach, he left because he was worried about you. I am, too.”

She holds her hand up to stop me. “Please don’t start in on Rob and how he’s all wrong for me, okay? It’s exactly what your mom is doing to you.”

Except Logan isn’t a jerk. “I just want you to be happy.”

“Can we talk about something else, please?”

“Like what?” I don’t want to drop the Rob thing, but I know better than to force Rachel into a conversation she doesn’t want to have.

“You and Logan.”

“What about us?”

“Why are you letting your mom keep you two apart? You guys are sickeningly cute together. And out of all your friends, I’m the one who gets you in the most trouble, yet your mom loves me.”

“Maybe you should tell my mom how amazing Logan is. She might listen to you.”

“First you’d have to tell me how amazing he is. You haven’t exactly spilled many details.”

“Where do you want me to start? Because last time you asked about him, you said I was boring you.”

“Duh, you start with the kissing. That’s where it always starts.” She smiles. “And it usually ends up there, too.”

“You sort of already got a free show a little bit ago.”

“Look at you blush! You so love him!”

Do I? “I never said I loved him.”

“Oh, shut up and tell me about the kissing!” Only Rachel would tell me to shut up and talk at the same time. “I’m growing old here. Tell me everything! How many times have you two made out?”

“Rachel!”

“What? Is it that many times that you’ve lost count?” She pulls me back down on the grass next to her so we’re staring up at the clouds.

“No.” I lie back and realize Logan left his jacket. I’ll have to give it back to him later. I pull my hair out from under me and fan it around my head. Logan’s the only person who’s ever complimented my hair. Everyone else thinks it’s funny. I lick my lips, which still taste like Logan. Spearmint.

“Hello? Earth to Cara!” Rachel sits up and leans over me.

“Sorry.”

“Thinking about him?”

“Yes.” I feel my cheeks get hot, but this time it’s just blushing. “I should go.” I stand up, grab Logan’s jacket, and walk to my car with Rachel following.

“Don’t spend your afternoon sniffing Logan’s jacket. You can sniff him in person at the party.”

She knows me too well. I bring the jacket to my face, breathing in Logan’s scent. “He’s just so incredibly amazing. Like the way he went to check up on Nick.”

“Some boys will do anything to get in your—”

I turn and glare at her. “That’s not what this is about. We really care about each other. He didn’t want to leave any more than I wanted him to, but he knows I’m worried about Nick, and Logan wants me to be happy.”

“Then you have to get your mom to let you guys date. I’ve never seen you like this. And that kiss you two just had—all I can say is wow. I wish a guy as gorgeous as Logan would kiss me like that. You two are so hot, you could start a fire.”

Maybe, but that fire would also be the end of us.

***

I go home and shower, thinking of how amazing it was of Logan to volunteer to go with Rob. He’s only met Nick a few times, which means he totally did it for me. And the way he stepped aside and let me have time alone with Rachel, even after my mom has been keeping us apart… that was just incredible. He scored major points today.

I finish my shower and wrap a towel around my head. I have time for a nap and dinner before the party starts. As much as I’m afraid to take a nap and dream about my rebirth again, it’s an excuse to avoid Mom. That makes it worth the risk. I slip into my comfy lounge capris and a T-shirt. Logan’s jacket is lying on my bed, and I can’t resist. I cuddle up with it. Maybe his scent will ward off bad dreams.

It doesn’t.

The orange and white flames dance around me. Even though I’m dreaming, I feel my hands squeezing Logan’s jacket. His scent overpowers the burning of my flesh.

“Cara, don’t leave me.” I search the fire for Logan’s face. His image fades in and out. I try to tune into him, to focus on him instead of my impending death. “Don’t forget.” Logan’s voice carries over the flames as my hair catches fire. I watch my clothes ignite.

“Damn it, wake up!” I scream, sitting up in bed. The scent of smoke lingers in the air. Embers litter my pillow and blankets. I pat them out, and my cell phone chimes on the nightstand. I struggle to catch my breath as I reach for it. Rachel.

Nick’s fine. Party’s on.

At least Nick is okay. I’m not sure I can say the same for myself.

Someone pounds on the door, and I know right away it’s Jeremy. Mom stomps through the house when she’s mad, but she’s never been one to pound on anything. “Come in, Jer.”

He opens the door and scans the room. “Who were you yelling at?”

That was in my dream. “I wasn’t yelling.”

“Yes, you were. I heard you downstairs. You made me drop my dinner on the floor.” Jeremy narrows his eyes. “What’s up with you? Is this about Logan?”

“No. I’m not allowed to see him, remember?” I’m not even sure why I bother trying to lie. I get worse at it every time.

“Yeah, it’s not about Logan and nothing’s wrong. You just scream in your sleep. Nothing weird about that.” He rolls his eyes and sits down on my bed. I should be happy he’s showing emotion again, but sarcasm wouldn’t be my first choice, not when it’s directed at me.

“How’d you know I was sleeping?”

“Mom checked on you before she made dinner.”

“Oh.”

“What’s going on? Is it about Mr. Baker?”

That’s part of it. “It’s scary, you know?”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, Mom said the cops have a lead, and the guy they’re following is over two hours away by now.”

“So does she still think it’s a Hunter?”

He shrugs. “We’re having another meeting to discuss it.”

Pretty soon, I’m going to be expected to sit in on these meetings. The only good part about being in this fight with Mom is that I can hide in my room and not have to listen to all the Phoenixes in Ashlan Falls talk about what danger we might be in and whether or not Logan is part of it.

“Should I tell Mom to set another plate at the table? You can’t avoid her forever.” Jeremy squeezes my hand, and for a moment I think I see my brother again. He stares at our hands and smiles. Nope, not yet. He’s way too proud of himself for trying to console me. Nothing is coming naturally yet, but at least he’s trying.

“See you downstairs,” I say.

He leaves, closing the door behind him.

I remove the towel from my head and give my hair a quick blow-dry. I’m stalling, getting up the courage to face Mom. I’m not sure how I’m going to tell her about the party tonight. I conveniently forgot to mention it all week. I decide my best plan of action is not to bring it up until I’m on my way out the door. Then maybe I’ll be able to eat in peace.

I go downstairs and sit at the table without saying a word. Mom doesn’t say anything either. Jeremy shakes his head at us and pops in his earbuds. It’s going to be that kind of dinner.

The second I finish eating, I do the dishes and head back to my room. Mom watches my every move, but she doesn’t mention Logan. Maybe I can keep getting away with seeing him without her knowing. I don’t want to have to sneak around behind her back, but if I have to, I will.

I pick out the perfect party outfit—jean shorts and a red halter top—and finish doing my hair. I usually tie it up at parties, mostly to avoid having drunk girls ask me how I dye it this way, but Logan likes my hair, so down it is. I use the flat iron to straighten a few pieces that got kinked from sleeping with a towel on my head. My cell rings, and I see Rachel’s picture on the screen. “Hey, Rach. Just getting ready.”

“Rob’s bringing Tanya Roberts. Can I just say
ew
?”

I laugh. “She is pretty nasty. Before school ended, I heard her tell Heather Daniels that she hadn’t washed her gym clothes for like a month.”