Into the Fire (7 page)

That’s going to be a problem. My imprint won’t allow it. “I’m beat. I’m going to crash for the night.”

She kisses my cheek. “Night, sweetie.” She feels my forehead and smiles. I must have another fever. She might think this is a good thing, but I’m terrified. She turns off the light, and I close my eyes. I don’t want to think about being a Phoenix or my imprint on Logan. I just want the peace of sleep.

Around four in the morning, the dream hits me. No, it’s not a dream. It’s a premonition. I’m seeing my rebirth. Even though I know it’s not really happening, beads of perspiration form on my forehead. Orange and white flames lick at my skin. Their warmth and beauty call to me. I watch them dance across my body until my arms and legs aren’t visible anymore. I’m nothing but fire. I don’t feel like I’m burning; I feel at peace, yet I know the flames are scorching hot. They’re destroying me. Ending my life.

I look around, expecting to see Mom and Jeremy, but someone else is there. One figure stares at me through the flames. He reaches for me, calling my name over and over again. Finally, his face comes into focus. Logan.

“Don’t leave me, Cara.”

Tears stream down my cheeks, drying almost instantly in the heat of the fire.

“Don’t forget,” Logan says, his voice airy, haunting.

No! I wake up screaming and sweating. A single ember is burning on the pillow next to me. I pat it out, but even after it’s gone, I’m still smacking my pillow, attacking it. Finally, I stop and bury my face in my covers. This can’t be right. The dream is wrong. Logan can’t be there. Why would I be with him when it happens? It has to be the imprint. The look on his face, the way he begged me not to go. He loved me, and that means this imprint is going to be the death of me in more ways than one. It’s going to make me fall in love for the first time, and it’s going to make me lose Logan when I’m reborn.

I have to break it. Before it breaks me.

Logan

I’m up at five-thirty. This may be a first. I’m not sure how anyone sleeps around here with all the crickets. I have nothing to do, and Cara will still be in school, so the one person my age I even sort of know will be unavailable. The only thing I can think to do is go for a run. I get dressed, and before I realize it, I’m heading toward the falls. Maybe it’s because I was there yesterday, but more likely it’s because it’s where I met Cara.

I stop at the entrance when I see Cara’s car. What’s she doing here? I jog up to the water’s edge and see her playing in the koi lagoon. She looks like a little kid, weaving her hands through the water and laughing when the fish touch her. I almost don’t want to disturb her, but this may be the only interaction I’ll have with her today.

“Hey.” I wave, which instantly makes me feel like the biggest friggin’ loser on the planet. This is not me at all.

She smiles but doesn’t move from the lagoon. Anton’s right. I must really make her nervous.

“Can I join you?” I don’t have a bathing suit, but running shorts aren’t all that different. I don’t wait for an answer. I take off my shoes and socks and step into the water.

She scoots over the ledge separating the lagoon from the falls. “I’m glad you’re here.”

I smile. “Really?”

“I owe you an apology.”

“Did you do something to me that I don’t know about? ’Cause so far, living here has pretty much been one kick to the balls after another.”

She laughs, and it’s music to my ears.

“You think it’s funny?”

She stops long enough to say, “Sorry.”

“Thanks. It’s bad enough you kept looking at me like I was a perv yesterday, but today you laugh in my face?”

“Whoa!” She holds her hand up. “You were gawking at my chest. How did you expect me to react?”

“You saw that, huh?” Why deny it?

“Um, yeah.
This
”—she lowers her eyes to my chest—“and
this
”—she raises them back to mine—“look very different, don’t you think?”

“Damn, that
is
a big difference!”

“Yeah, so tell your friends.”

“Anton will appreciate the heads up.”

“Anton?”

“He’s my best friend from back home.”

“That must really suck, being so far away from your best friend.”

I don’t want to talk about New York. “So, what did you want to apologize for?” Does she know she burned me? She certainly bolted after it happened.

“I feel bad for running off on you both times I saw you. I guess you can say I’m shy around new people.”

“Fair enough. I’d say I’m sorry for staring at your rack, but I’m not one for lying.”

Her head jolts back. “Excuse me?”

“Relax.” I laugh. “It was supposed to be a joke.”

“So you
are
sorry you were staring at me?”

“I’m sorry I got caught. Does that count?” Okay, the jokes are not loosening her up at all. Girls usually find me funny.

“Are you always like this?”

“Like what?”

She shakes her head. “Never mind. You feel like swimming? I kind of owe you.”

“Don’t you have school? Or sick brother duty or something?” I hope I don’t sound like I’m trying to get rid of her, because I’m not.

“Yeah, I have school. I come here every morning, though. It clears my head.”

“Makes sense. I bet if I stayed here long enough, the sound of the falls would drown out all the crap in my mind.” Her face falls. What did I say? “Something bothering you?”

“A lot. It’s just been…” She sighs. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“Then don’t.”

She tilts her head at me.

“I’m not trying to be an insensitive prick, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Good, because I just meant that sometimes talking about things only reminds you of how bad they are. I don’t buy into all that ‘express your feelings’ bullshit. Some things you just need to forget.”

Her breath catches in her throat. “What if that’s the problem? What if you don’t want to forget?” Her eyes are pleading with me, and I don’t have a clue what to say. “What if all you want is to hold on to what you have, but you know you’re going to lose it?”

“Why would you lose it?” I stop, going over the little I know about her. What does she have to lose? “Is this about your brother? Is he really that sick?”

“I should go. I’m sorry I dumped all this on you.”

“I’m not sure I even understand what you said, so don’t sweat it.”

She swims by me, and I reach for her arm. “Cara.” She stops and stares at my fingers, which are wrapped around her elbow. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“No. It’s okay.” She continues to stare at my hand. “It’s really okay.”

I let go, and she seems disappointed. “Do you have to leave already? You did ask me to swim with you, you know, and ditching me all the time isn’t really small-town friendly.” I elbow her arm. Again she stares at the place where I touched her.

“Okay, let’s swim,” she says.

We start doing laps back and forth across the bottom of the falls, not getting too close to the water pounding down from above. “So, I know you have a brother. Any other siblings?”

“No, only Jeremy. It’s just him, me, and my mom.”

“Dad’s out of the picture?”

“He died when I was six.”

“Do you remember him?” I stop swimming and lean against the edge of the lagoon.

She rests her arms on the ledge and lets her legs float out behind her. “Not much.”

“Sometimes I wonder if that’s better. I have all these memories of my mom, but what good do they do me now?”

“Believe me, not having the memories is worse.” Her eyes glisten with tears.

“Maybe you’re right.”

She looks at her watch. “I have to go or I’m going to be late.”

I reach for her arm, gently tilting it toward me. Seven o’clock. “Yeah, I should go, too. I promised Henry Baker I’d have breakfast with him.”

“You did?” Her voice is full of surprise, but in a good way.

“Yeah. I met him yesterday at Monique’s.”

“Mr. Baker’s nice. He’s been through a lot. Still, most people can’t tolerate him for more than a few minutes at a time.”

“It helps when you’re downing a Western omelet and loads of coffee.”

She smiles. “You’re not at all how I thought you’d be.”

“I take it that’s a good thing?”

She turns for the shore. “See you around.”

I watch her swim away and get in her car. She pauses, looking back at me. I know she’s into me, but something’s holding her back. Something I’m determined to get past.

***

I arrive at Monique’s right on time, all showered and still thinking about Cara. I can smell Monique’s cooking wafting through the windows. What will today’s featured omelet be? I can make out pepper jack among all the other things. This place has such a strong food smell. Monique must use a ton of spices. My stomach rumbles, and before I know it, I’m sitting down and turning my coffee mug over for Monique to fill.

“Good morning, Logan.” Monique smiles as she comes out of the kitchen with a fresh pot of coffee. “What will it be today?”

I look around for a menu, but there doesn’t appear to be one. Does she really cook to order, or do people just go with her dish of the day? “I smell pepper jack cheese.”

“Ah, that’s my pepper jack and mushroom omelet. Give me five minutes.” She disappears, leaving me to sit alone. I look for Henry, surprised he’s not here already.

Monique returns with two omelets and sits down at the table. Apparently we’re going to be having breakfast together. Awkward.

“No Henry this morning?”

“He’s fishing. I opened early just for him. If he doesn’t have his eggs in the morning, he’s not a happy man.”

“That’s weird. He told me he’d meet me here.”

“His memory isn’t what it used to be. Don’t hold it against him.”

I take a big bite of omelet. It’s even better than the Western, but I don’t dare say that. Monique strikes me as the type who wants every dish she serves to be equally delicious. “This is amazing.”

She takes a bite and nods back in agreement. “What are your plans for today?”

“No idea, really.” Not that there’s anything to do in this town anyway.

“Must be tough being new in town with everyone else in school. This is the last week, though, so you should see some kids your age soon.”

“I met one already.”

“Cara, right?”

“How’d you know?” I blow on my coffee before taking a sip.

“Cara’s like family to me. She and I were talking all about you.”

Cara was talking about me? That’s a good sign. “She’s kind of shy.”

Monique puts her fork down and places her hand on top of mine. “Now listen here, Logan. Cara is one of the sweetest girls you’ll ever meet. She’s not like some of those teenage girls running all over town with a different guy every day.”

“Does everyone around here think I’m out to get her? Her best friend—um, Rachel—cornered me yesterday and gave me ‘the talk.’ I swear, I’ve been nothing but nice to Cara.”

“Good. Because if there’s one thing you should know about small towns, Mr. Logan Schmidt from New York, it’s that we’re like one big family. Cara’s family. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Wasn’t it just yesterday that she was welcoming me to the family? “I get it, and I really do think Cara’s… ” Shit, none of the words I want to use are going make Monique happy. Sexy. Mysterious. Hot. “She’s nice.” That works.

“Yes, she is.” Monique smiles and tugs on my sleeve. “And I think underneath that leather jacket of yours, you’re nice too.”

From the way she’s looking at me, I know Cara told her about my jacket. Nothing’s a secret in this place. I finish my omelet, pay my bill, and before I can stop myself, I’m walking to the school.

I’ve never acted stalkerish like this before, but something about Cara is really bugging me. Maybe it’s the way I’m drawn to her. I’m not used to this. I look down at my hand. It’s completely normal with no signs of a burn. I must have imagined it. Anton’s right; this clean air is messing with my head.

I see Cara’s car in the student lot, and I freeze. What am I doing here? She’s in school. I can’t wait around for her to get out. She’ll think I’m either psychotic or pathetic. Girls are supposed to chase
me
, not the other way around. I turn to walk away just as she steps out of the car.

“Logan?”

Busted. “Hey.” I walk over, my hands in my pockets so she can’t see how being around her is making them shake. God, I’ve never acted this way around a girl before.

“Filling out more paperwork?”

Why not? I never actually got the paperwork after I ran into her yesterday. I was too freaked out by my own imagination. I nod. “You just getting here?”

“Yeah, Linette was late getting to the house, so I had to wait for her.”

“Linette? Middle-aged, curly red hair?”

“She’s your housekeeper, right?”

“Yeah. Small world.”

“Small town.” Cara smiles.

I motion to her empty arms. “No books?”

“No. Finals are over. We’re basically just watching the time pass. I’m not even sure why they make us go when there’s absolutely nothing to do.”

We stare at each other, not sure what else to say. I hope I don’t look as hard up for human interaction as I feel. “So, what’s there to do for fun around here?”

“The movie theater plays matinees, if you’re interested.”

Is she inviting me to a movie or just telling me so I can go on my own? “Anything a little more active?”

“There’s a running trail through the woods by the school. The cross country team uses it for races. You are a runner, right?”

“Yeah. Track mostly.”

“Oh, well, we have a track team, too. They’re decent.”

“Decent. That sounds promising.”

She smiles and shrugs one shoulder. “This place really isn’t so bad. I promise.”

“It’s just kind of boring when you know no one and there’s not even anyone around to meet.”

She fidgets with her car keys. “A bunch of us are getting together this afternoon to hang out. If you want to tag along, I could introduce you to some people.”

“Are they
decent
?” I can’t help myself.

She laughs. “They’re better than decent. And who knows, maybe they’ll convince you that you really haven’t been uprooted and transported to hell.” She starts toward the school. “It’s a half-day, so we’re meeting at one o’clock at the falls.” She waves goodbye. Maybe it’s not a date, but she invited me to hang out with her. It’s a start.