Into the Fire (4 page)

“Oh, sweetie, come here.” She pulls me inside the privacy of the café kitchen and wraps me in a hug.

I let out all the tears I’ve been holding back. I cry for Jeremy. I cry for me. I cry because I just want to be a normal teenage girl. I want to be the girl who isn’t afraid to go for a swim with the hot new guy in town. I want to be able to bust on Jeremy and call him Jer-bear again. I don’t want to feel like I’m losing everything I’ve ever had.

“When did it happen?” Monique asks when we finally pull apart.

“This morning.” I look around, making sure we’re the only two people in the café. Monique runs the place by herself, but I’ve been taught to be extra careful. “I was on my way to the falls and Mom was getting ready for work. We smelled smoke. It was… awful.” There’s no other word to describe it. I stare into Monique’s eyes and feel myself breaking. “Even though I knew he’d be okay, watching Jeremy burn was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced.”

“I know it isn’t pretty, but he
is
okay. He’s still your brother.”

“It doesn’t feel like it. He’s different.” My vision blurs with tears. “He doesn’t remember me.”

“He knows who you are, and in time he’ll love you again.”

I shake my head. “And what do I do until then? How do I stop myself from falling to pieces when I’m around him? I had to run out of there this morning. Nothing was working. Not the memory book, not his iPod, not me.”

She hugs me again, pressing my head to her shoulder. “Listen to me, Cara, the first time is always the toughest. After that, it’s like waking up from a nap.” Monique is on her third life. She’s been reborn twice.

“Mom already told me that our memories are only affected the first time, but it hasn’t made this any easier. It’s going to happen to me soon.”

She reaches for my forehead. “You feel okay, not too hot.”

That’s a surprise. “I had a fever yesterday, and this morning at the falls I made the water boil.”

“So it’s starting.” She smiles. “This isn’t a bad thing, you know. This is who you are, and you know you aren’t alone.”

“I know, but when I’m reborn, I’m going to feel alone.” Jeremy must feel so alone, and here I am throwing a pity party for myself. God, I’m the worst big sister ever. “How can I be there for Jeremy when he doesn’t even know that having me around is usually comforting to him?”

“You remind him. Tell him stories. Give him those memories back.”

I know I can’t really jog his memory. I can only tell him things and hope he believes me. “I don’t know if I can face him yet. He punched a wall this morning. He was so frustrated. I hate seeing him like that.”

Monique puts her arm around me and walks me back out to my usual table. “Sit down. I’m willing to bet you haven’t eaten a thing today.”

“I don’t know if my stomach can handle food right now.”

She waves the comment off. “I don’t want to hear it. You need to keep your strength up. If you won’t do it for yourself, then do it for Jeremy’s sake. He needs you.”

She always knows how to make me cave. I nod and turn my mug over. “Tea, please.” Drinking tea isn’t a Phoenix thing, but Monique and I can never get enough of it. She always has it made.

“And what can I get you to eat?”

“I heard you were making your famous Western omelets this morning.”

“You did? Now, who told you that? Henry Baker?” She leans down and whispers, “I’m not gossiping or anything, but he ate three of my omelets this morning.”

I know she’s trying to distract me, take my mind off Jeremy, so I play along. “Well, when you make them that delicious, can you really blame him?”

She pats my arm. “No, honey, I can’t.” She disappears inside the café to make my omelet, and I take the time to text Rachel. She’s the only normalcy in my life right now.

Anything exciting happening at school?

Like that’s possible. Where r u?

Took the day off. Eating at the café.

Ditching school? U r supposed 2 tell me when u wanna ditch. Why should u get 2 have all the fun?

Didn’t feel well this morning.
She won’t question that with Jeremy’s supposed mono.

I’ll let it slide. Feel better. Try not to kiss any boys. ;)

Yeah, as if that’s even a possibility right now. My imprint on Logan means I’m going to be crazy about him. It won’t affect him at all, though. And even if he does like me a little, I can’t act on these feelings. It’s too dangerous.

Monique returns with my omelet and more tea. “You didn’t drink that yet? You always swallow it in one gulp.”

“Hang on.” I down the tea and hold out my mug. “Better?”

“Much.” She pours the tea and sits down. “Talk to me.”

I take a bite of my omelet and let out a “mmm.”

“Music to my ears.” Monique smiles. “Have you met the new boy? He looks about your age.”

I nod. “He came by the falls this morning.”

“He seems nice enough. Henry Baker sure seemed to like him.”

“Mr. Baker likes everyone.” He’d talk to a wall if no one else were around. He’s the oldest Phoenix I know, already on his fourth life. We only get five—if we don’t meet any Hunters, that is.

“You don’t sound like you particularly liked him—Logan.”

She remembers his name. He must have made quite an impression on her. Nothing like the impression he made on me, though. “He sort of sneaked up on me. I was hoping to have some alone time. Clear my head after…”

“I see. So you let your feelings about Jeremy affect your impression of Logan.”

Is that what I did? Maybe I haven’t imprinted on him. Maybe my emotions are just stuck on high and I imagined the imprint. I want get Monique’s opinion, but what if she tells Mom? “What did you think of him?” It’s the safest question to ask.

“I think he’s a very troubled young man.”

“Troubled?”

“There was something about his eyes. He’s holding back some big feelings.”

“He said his mom died a few months ago.”

Monique nods. “Well, that explains it right there. That boy is crazed with grief.”

Now I feel really bad for taking off on him. “I think he was trying to reach out to me, but I sort of bailed on him.”

“You were being careful. That’s a good thing. We don’t know much about him yet, and now that you are so close to your rebirth—”

“He’s not a Hunter.” I can’t tell her how I know he wasn’t carrying the Phoenix dagger. She’d freak out on me just as much as Mom would.

“I don’t think he is either. I’ll let you finish eating so you can get home. I’m sure your Mom could use your help with Jeremy.” She smiles and squeezes my hand before disappearing inside the kitchen.

After polishing off half my omelet, I wave goodbye to Monique and drive home, not at all ready to see Jeremy. Not at all ready to glimpse my future.

I pass the school and realize I forgot to cancel my plans with Rachel. I can’t have her showing up at home with Jeremy so out of it. Everyone else stays away due to the threat of mono, but Rachel sort of thinks she’s above germs, among many other things. I pull a U-turn and park in the student lot. The half-day will be over soon, and I can deliver the bad news in person.

I get out and walk across the field separating the student lot from the front gate. I text Rachel to tell her to meet me outside, and I’m not surprised at all when she comes out before the bell.

“Whose class did you bail on to meet me”—I check my watch—“two minutes early?”

“What can I say? I’m a rebel.” She smiles and reaches to hug me, but I step back. I haven’t been sweating, but I can’t take chances. Not with Rachel. No way am I going to let my Phoenix qualities scare her away.

“Germs. I’ve been taking care of Jeremy, remember?”

“If you catch a kissing disease from your brother, I’m going to be seriously grossed out. You two are close, but yuck!”

I want to smack her, like I normally would, but I’m not normal anymore, if I ever really was to begin with. “Don’t worry. I’ll stay a safe distance—I know it will kill you if you can’t kiss any guys for a few weeks.”

“You’ve got that right.” She smiles and wags her eyebrows. “Rob said I look nice today.”

Rob. Ugh. The guy’s a major dick, but I can’t convince Rachel of that. “What about Nick?”

“Would you stop trying to push the nice guy on me? I don’t like nice. I like totally hot and kind of a bad boy. Which reminds me, I heard there’s a new guy in town.”

“Logan. I met him this morning.”

“Ooh. Did you give
him
the kissing disease?”

“No!” I roll my eyes, but I can’t help picturing Logan’s lips. Okay, maybe I
have
imprinted on him.

“Don’t tell me he’s a dog.”

I answer way too quickly. “Not at all.”

“Cara has a crush!” She claps like a little kid.

“Chill. I didn’t say I have a crush.” It’s so much worse than that.

“What were you wearing when you met him?” She eyes the strap of my bikini peeking out from under my tank top. “Is that the bikini I bought you?”

“Yes.”

“Nice! So you went swimming with him?”

“Not exactly.”

“Are you going to make me pull teeth to get information out of you, or do you think you can actually tell me what happened?”

I take a deep breath and get ready to pour it all out. “He and his dad just moved here. His mom died a few months ago, and he wears a leather jacket because it was a gift from her.”

“Aw!” I’m shocked by her outburst. Things like that don’t usually register with Rachel. “He’s a badass with a soft side for his dead mommy.”

“Rach! That’s horrible.”

“I meant it in a nice way. It just came out wrong.”

“Anyway, he’s from New York and doesn’t really like small town life so far. But Monique and Mr. Baker seem to like him. Oh, and I think he might be a runner.”

“Like as in he runs?”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing. Just not my thing. What did you two talk about? Or was there no time for talking?” Her eyebrow looks like it has a fishhook stuck in it.

“You got me. We were so busy making out under the falls that I didn’t even have time to find out his name. I made all that up so you wouldn’t think I was a tramp.”

She laughs. “Good one. Almost believable. But seriously, any potential there?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t thought about him that way.” I can’t let myself go there, because even if I could have a relationship with Logan, I’ll forget him in a month, imprint or not.

“Well, start. You need a boyfriend. Obviously none of the guys in town do it for you, so maybe you need a little out of town lovin’.” She bumps my hip.

“Cara?”

I turn to see Logan walking up to us. “Hey, Logan.”

Rachel smiles in approval as she studies him. “I think that’s my cue.” She takes off, leaving me alone with Logan.

The bell rings, and I use the distraction to keep from gawking at him. “Hey, sorry I was in a hurry this morning.”

He waves it off. “Consider it forgotten.”

“What are you doing here?”

He eyes the school, clearly unimpressed. “Picking up some paperwork for registration.”

I’m staring at his lips. Damn it. “Well, I should get home.”

“Wait.” He reaches for my arm. I pull away quickly, and my phone falls to the ground. “Sorry. I just wanted to see if you’d be willing to show the new guy around town.” I reach for my cell, but he bends down at the same time. “I got it.”

His palm touches the back of my hand, and I panic, feeling my body heat rising.

“What do you think? Will you—whoa.” He pulls his hand back and stares at his bright red palm.

“I’m sorry.” The words spill out of my mouth as I run to my car. I can barely breathe, knowing that I just burned Logan’s hand.

Logan

I inspect the red burns on my palm. What the hell? Did her watch burn me, or maybe her phone? I stand up, staring after Cara’s car as it speeds out of the parking lot. Cara Tillman is one odd girl. Hot, but odd.

“Logan, right?”

I turn to the brunette Cara was talking to earlier. She’s short and has curves in all the right places—a lot like the girls I’m used to dating. “Yeah. You’re a friend of Cara’s?”

“I’m her
best
friend, Rachel.”

I lower my hand, still totally confused by what happened. “Is she always this weird?”

Rachel shrugs. “Usually, but that’s part of her charm. She’s pretty, don’t you think?”

Oh great, the best friend’s trying to find out if I’m into Cara. I’ve seen this a thousand times. “Look, I’m not one for games.”

“Good, because Cara doesn’t play them.” Her tone isn’t friendly anymore.

“What’s this about then?” At this point, I just want to go home—but seeing as the only home I’ve ever known is back in New York, that’s not really an option.

“I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know that Cara’s a sweet girl. Don’t take advantage of her, Mr. New Yorker.”

I nod. “This is the ‘you better not hurt her or I’ll hurt you’ talk.”

Rachel smiles. “You’re smart. That’s good, because so is Cara.”

“Look, I got it, okay? I’m not trying to mess with Cara.”

“Didn’t say you were.” She smiles and walks away.
Girls
.

I head home—well, to the Ashlan Falls version of it. I don’t understand much of anything that happened today. This place is beyond weird. I throw open the front door, expecting to see the boxes exactly how I left them, but I walk into an empty living room. Were we robbed? Every door I walked by today has been wide open, but my house was the one that got robbed? Seriously?

I tear off my jacket and throw it down on the couch. Where the hell is the phone? Did they take that too? I won’t doubt some people here can’t afford a phone. I tear the couch apart, checking the cushions.

“Hello?”

I jump and turn toward the kitchen where a middle-aged woman with curly red hair is standing in the doorway. “Who are you?”

“I’m Linette. I was hired to clean.”

Dad hired a cleaning lady. Oh, thank God! “You did all this?”

She nods. “It’s my job.”

“I thought it would take about a year to sort through all that junk.”

“Most of the boxes were labeled. Anything I couldn’t figure out is in the hall closet.” She gestures to the door. “I hope that’s okay.”