Authors: Johanna Nicholls
Despite the cheered response, Jake kept his expression blank.
âI've made some tough decisions for 1845. After Doc's famous Hogmanay celebrations, I've agreed to start the new year by working for twelve months at Ogden Park. Jupiter's Darling baulks at servicing mares. Terence Ogden reckons I'm the bloke to solve the problem and help him raise another generation of champions.'
He saw Daniel frown at this unexpected news, knowing Ogden Park was too distant for Jake to remain living at Sarishan Farm. Jake glanced across at Keziah but her face was a mask.
âThe money Ogden pays me I'll sink back into Sarishan Farm. I'm bloody lucky young Dick Gideon will run the place with Bran's help. My partner Dan will balance the books.'
He gave a nod in George Hobson's direction. âThanks to George his
Glaswegian giant Sholto's just landed his ticket-of-leave, so Sholto's gunna work between my farm and Ironbark. Me? I'll be pretty much out of sight, out of mind.'
Jake glanced across at Keziah who was now deathly pale. Was that a good sign or bad?
âI want to thank Dan Browne and Bran Penrose for being my left and right arms through all my troubles. Our lawyer mate, Joseph Bloom, couldn't make it today.' He nodded at Keziah. âHe sends you his best wishes. He's in Sydney Town fighting to keep some other poor bugger out of the
sturaban
. But when I tell you all it was Joe who drew up this deed I'm holding, you'll know it's bloody watertight. It signs over to Bran Penrose and his heirs full title to the forge acres. Here mate, you earned it!'
Bran's eyes were suspiciously wet, so Jake hurriedly resumed his speech. âI can't do nothing for Dan. He's been lined up to paint Jonstone's gentry mates, and you know how many of
them
there are!'
After the cheering died down Jake continued. âFor Yosef Jakob Andersen Browne, here's something important to his mama.'
The silence was loaded with expectation as he crossed to where Daniel was endeavouring to restrain Yosie. Jake eyed Daniel steadily, his words deceptively casual.
âI can see you've got your hands full there, Dan. So how about I do this for you?'
Jake tied a red ribbon around the toddler's neck. âThere you are, my little Rom. This proves
your father
acknowledges
his
son.'
Daniel smiled his gratitude that the truth about their ménage was not right out in the open, even though none of them doubted it was accepted by their closest friends.
Jake saw Keziah biting her lip. Was it to conceal her pleasure or annoyance?
Any reaction from her would be bloody something.
He overheard his pa whisper, âMolly, what's going on?
Jake
is the boy's father, isn't he?'
To which Molly hissed back, âAnd who are we to ask bloody awkward questions? Never been churched ourselves and raised ten kids and all.'
Jake knew that the conclusion of his speech could also be interpreted in different ways.
âAs for my mate Keziah Browne, it's no secret I think Daniel's a lucky man. I want you to raise your glasses to celebrate Keziah's ticket-of-leave. She's got big plans she'll tell you in her own good time. End of speech! Now, let's drink the Doc's cellar dry.' Jake raised his glass in a toast. âTo the land we live in! Australia!'
â¢Â â¢Â â¢Â
Keziah felt shaken and confused as all heads turned expectantly to her at the end of Jake's speech. She grabbed hold of Daniel's arm.
âWhat on earth did Jake mean? What big plans?'
âSearch me,' he said glumly as he walked away. âYou're the psychic.'
Caleb Morgan appeared at her side, his expression serious. âI am honoured to be Gabriel's godfather. We can at least keep in contact due to
that
relationship, Keziah.'
âJake's idea, not mine,' she said quickly. Yet she felt oddly anxious at the sight of Liliana du Pont crossing the lawn to enter the house alone. She wondered if Caleb knew his âFrench' mistress had once worked in a brothel. Had Lily managed to fool him? Or was he simply playing the game, pretending to accept her âconvent education'?
Keziah saw Caleb was studying her intently. âLiliana's damned good for me. There's no stopping her when she's set her mind on something. Would you believe she's determined to see me elected in politics?' He paused. âI found adventure in this colony where I least expected it. So why am I haunted by the John Donne sonnet I recited to a beautiful Romani girl?'
âPlease stop, Caleb. I've hurt enough people who don't deserve it.'
âAllow me to say it once more, Keziah.
“I must love her, that loves not me.”'
Caleb tenderly kissed her hand then backed away with a wry smile.
Keziah fled across the lawn in confusion, overwhelmed by the unexpected events of the day and her anxiety about the night to come. She was drawn to an isolated part of the old rose garden where the sound of the guests' voices was remote. She saw a young woman dressed in an Empire-line gown had found solace on a garden bench. Her eyes held a look of indescribable sadness.
Keziah felt suddenly cold. âAre you waiting for someone?'
The girl did not speak. Yet Keziah mentally heard her words.
âMy love. Padraic.'
A rush of terror almost overwhelmed her. A
mulo
! This was Maggie Barnes, who had suffered at the hands of her wife-beating husband until the young convict Padraic murdered him to set her free. Keziah knew her
Puri Dai
had sent this
mulo
to her for help.
Who am I to condemn a murderer?
She led Maggie to the well. Padraic was waiting for her. Joy softened his haggard face when his lover slipped into his arms.
Fighting her fear, Keziah closed her eyes and prayed desperately to
The Del, Shon
, the
gaujos'
god the Father, Gentle Jesus, her
Puri Dai
and whoever else might be listening.
Please don't punish Padraic and Maggie anymore. Set them free to be together.
She opened her eyes to see the lovers walking into the bush, Maggie's head resting on Padraic's shoulder. They paused to smile at her, then slowly dissolved into the sunlight.
Keziah was trembling violently as she ran back to the house. Where was Jake?
â¢Â â¢Â â¢Â
Jake stood in the Doc's sitting room. All the guests were in the garden, save one. Lily posed elegantly in the doorway. She crossed to him in a rustle of apricot silk, very sure of herself.
âCaleb treating you right, Lil? If he isn't, I'll sort him out for you.'
âYou haven't changed. Still running away from your own problems?'
âNot this time. Got dumped again. That's the way it goes.' He knew they had unfinished business. âI'm glad to see you happy, Lil. Caleb's a lucky man.'
âYou and I were very good together, Jake, but I saw the writing was on the wall. You talked about Keziah in your sleep.'
âI could never give you the life you want, Lil. You deserve the best.'
âI had the best, Jake. He got away,' she said softly. âBut he gave me a priceless gift. Made me believe in myself. Taught me I could walk away from Bolthole Valley and make a success of a new life. And I will, Jake, you just watch me!'
Gracefully she drew his head down and kissed his mouth. âBe happy, Jake.'
Her gown rustled softly as she returned to the garden. To Caleb Morgan.
Jake looked across the room to see Keziah framed in the opposite doorway. He was determined to outstare her. Keziah finally broke the silence.
âLeslie says you arranged for the children to sleep here tonight.'
âDead right,' he said. â
You
are coming with
me
.'
He saw the panic in Keziah's eyes. Now she knew the truth. Today was just part of his plan. Ahead of them lay the night of reckoning that Keziah could no longer escape.
The sun was dying, staining the sky with its blood.
Horatio drew the
vardo
inexorably towards the precipice at the edge of the panorama known to white settlers as Blind Man's Bluff. Jake knew that the original name of this magical place was known only to the Wiradjuri people. Ever since the Dreamtime, their tribal elders had handed down their wisdom to youths initiated in secret men's business. Jake hoped that they continued to do so in defiance of the
gubbas
.
As Jake drove the
vardo
the thought crossed his mind that perhaps some traces of that ancient wisdom might filter through to him. He needed all the help he could get. Tonight was the point of no return.
He glanced sidelong at Keziah. She still seemed devoid of curiosity, like a passive reed blown by any prevailing wind.
They drove through a maze of native pines that fought for space among the eucalypts. Jake veered off the main track, taking them into increasingly dense bushland. He recognised the strange humour of the situation. During their long bush odyssey, Keziah would have reacted violently to the threat of her beloved
vardo's
paint being scratched. Now she seemed oblivious to the very real threat of their whole family being torn apart.
When Jake drew to a standstill in a clearing, Horatio stood like a sentinel attuned to his master's tension.
Jake saw Keziah eyeing the Belgian pistol tucked into his belt, as aware as he was that Daniel's treasured gift was a precaution, bushrangers could be anywhere. He strode across to a wide rocky ledge and allowed Keziah to follow at will.
This scene of transcendent beauty never failed to constrict his throat. Far below lay a massive sunken valley filled with giant tropical fern trees and palms, as old as time itself. From this great height it gave the illusion of rolling ocean waves stirred by the wind as far as the eye could travel. Spectacular arcs of burnt-orange sandstone cliffs rose from the valley floor to frame the scene like giant shoulders. On the far horizon a range of slate-purple mountains caught the death throes of the sun.
âIf there
was
a Creator and he was looking for a place for the birth of the world, he didn't need to look no further.' Jake revealed as much casual pride as if he had carved it himself. âI bet you couldn't find anything like this in your Brit Isles.'
âThat's true,' Keziah said.
âI reckon when God finished this, he saw it was so god-damned awesome he knew he couldn't do better if he tried. So he downed tools â or his magic wand â and called it the seventh day of rest. Put his feet up with a glass of ale and thanked Himself for creating it.'
Keziah's glance was furtive. âSounds like the children's Sunday school has rubbed off on you.'
âI'm always open to a good yarn. Don't have to believe it, do I?'
Jake tried to roll his tobacco but the wind kept blowing it away. He finally mumbled under his breath and gave up trying.
âWhy did you bring me here, Jake?'
He turned away to disguise his pleasure. She had called him by name and asked him a question. At least that was something.
âWe'll sleep here tonight. I reckon we need to talk. Just you and me. Maybe it's for the last time ever.' He tried a light touch. âBawl me out if you want. I've missed not having a woman to keep me in line.'
âI can't feel enough anger to do that. I'm sorry. I can't feel anything at all.'
âExcept for the children. With them it's business as usual, eh?'
âYes. I can see how much they need me.'
That was the trigger. âAnd
I don't
? You can look me in the eye and tell me
I don't need you
? What's the matter with you? Did you
leave your head behind in the Factory?'
Jake was enraged, but Keziah didn't move. She seemed turned to stone.
Now the pain of his rejection was lanced, Jake could not prevent it gushing forth.
âDo you think you were the only one of us in prison? I was locked in my own private gaol on the farm. I never had two bloody hours to call my own all the time you were in the
sturaban
. I worried myself sick about you, knowing what prison would do to you. I've seen how it destroys men. Eats them from the inside out.'
âYou were free to love,' she said quietly.
âWhat do you think I did? Go to brothels? Every time I got hot thinking about you, I chopped trees down. We had so much bloody wood it was a fire hazard.'
Keziah opened her mouth to speak.
âShut up, Kez, or I'll never get this out, then you can talk for a week if you want. Understand. There was never a single day you weren't inside me.'
His fist punctuated his words. âMy head, my heart, my gut and here.' He gestured to his groin. âI would have sold my soul for the sight of you just washing your hair, the smell of rosemary oil on your body. I got so lonely I'd have welcomed one of your red-hot tongue-lashings!'
Jake laughed at what a fool a man could be. There was no stopping him.
âDo you think I didn't know you were in hell? Trying to stop yourself sinking to the lowest level, losing hope. That's why I wrote to you every week, about what the children said and did, the mares the stallions covered, the price of things, the gossip. Every bloody thing I could think of to remind you I was fighting to keep you alive inside your head.'
Her voice was colourless. âI know. You thought of everything.'
âSo how come you never wrote
me
a letter? You're the bloody literate one.'
She drooped in shame as if no excuse was adequate.
Jake's anger didn't abate. âHave you any idea how it killed me to have to ask
your husband
for every crumb of news about my own woman? You think I didn't know when Daniel was just being kind to me, putting words into your mouth, words you never said?'