Irreversible Damage (Irreparable) (24 page)

“Fine…” I come undone, no longer able to control my emotions or my mouth. “I did it because I was angry…. I did it because I blamed you for losing Mona and forgetting about her…and because I fucking hated you…. I wanted you to know what it felt like when I saw you with Annabelle…. You hurt me, Brady…and I wanted to hurt you back…. Are you fucking happy now?”

Before I catch my breath, he drags me underneath him, entering me with a hard, powerful stroke. I let out a shocked gasp.

He stills, smothering me with his body. “No, I’m not happy.” He withdraws slowly before slamming back into me with a powerful blow. “You did hurt me…really fucking bad.”

I bite back tears. I won’t cry anymore. I deserve this.

I’m flipped on my belly. Brady’s hands grip my waist, lifting my hips from the mattress. I secure my weight on my hands as he slams into me, his head falling back as he screams my name. Each blow is stronger than the next. The punishing dominance behind his thrusts sends me spiraling out of control. I grip the sheet into a ball in my hands, screaming out for him to give me more as I watch him over my shoulder. He fulfills my request, continuing to drive his hips into me with unrelenting force in a carnal and raw form of possession. He’s marking me.

His body covers me, heating my back. “Nobody else kisses you,” he demands, his voice a throaty growl as he drops kisses along the top of my shoulder.

 “Yes,” I moan.

His palm circles my ass before he brings my hips to meet his again. “Nobody else gets to touch you.”

“Yes.”

He lifts his body slightly as his hand travels up my spine until his fingers curl around the front of my neck, drawing my head back to rest on his shoulder. “No one else fucks you.” He tugs my hair gently, moving my head to the side to expose my neck. “Because you’re mine.” He gently bites my neck.

“Oh, God. Yes!” I cry out, ready to burst. It’s too intense. I taste tears in my mouth.

With another gentle pull of my hair, my head turns toward him. “Say it!”

 With our mouths nearly touching, I whisper, “I’m yours.”

He kisses me fiercely before releasing me. His hands return to my hips as he continues to pump his hips forward. I fall to the mattress, completely spent as I feel the slow onset of climax warming my belly and working its way down my thighs to my toes.

“Only I get to love you.”

He rocks forward a final time. We cry out together as he relaxes into me. I enjoy the slight shaking of his body. I feel his heart racing on my bare skin. He pulls out and drops to his back on the bed next to me.

The ugly silence is back. It’s thick enough to touch.

I don’t let it sit for long. “Brady.”

I hear a soft sigh before he says, “Give me a minute.”

He’s trying to compose himself, but I can’t wait. “I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

“No more apologies.” He looks over at me, patting his chest. I nestle right into him, elated that he still wants to hold me. “We both screwed up after we lost her.” He kisses my head. “We start fresh, right here and right now, with no more fucking apologies.”

Relieved, I peer up at him, smiling. “I think I’m more in love with you at this moment than I’ve ever been.”

He grins, his head falling back as he laughs. “That’s just your orgasm talking.”

My jaw drops. “Brady, stop.” I pinch his side. He jerks and grabs my hand. I lock eyes with him. “I mean it. I love you.”

His arms fold around me as he sighs. “I love you, too. You’ll always be my Sunshine.”

We have dinner with my parents before Brady helps me pack a suitcase. My parents hadn’t sent a truck for my things in Mexico yet. There’s not a lot to take with me. I think they knew all along I wouldn’t be staying.

Chapter 24

Tori

“Come on, baby, we gotta go.”

I give my mom and dad a final hug before climbing into the rented town car with Brady to start my “new” old life. I roll down the window, waving until they’re out of sight.

When we arrive at the airport, we bypass the commercial terminals. I look over at Brady, who shrugs. “There are some advantages to owning a large corporation.”

I sometimes forget who Brady really is. “Gibson has a jet?”

He chuckles and nods. I guess I never gave it any thought. “Shouldn’t the company be using it?”

“I just got you back.” His eyebrows lift suggestively. “I want you all alone for as long as I can.”

I throw my head back as I laugh. “We are not joining the mile-high club, Mr. Hunter.”

He lifts an eyebrow. “We’ll see.”

After Brady speaks with security and the captain, we board the plane. My eyes soak up my surroundings. This is definitely not commercial. There’s a gray sectional sofa with a coffee table on the right. On the other side there are four leather reclining chairs separated by a dining table. I had no idea people traveled like this. Brady’s watching me with amusement as my eyes travel to a door in the back.

His wicked grin reaches his eyes. “It’s a bedroom.”

I shake my head. “It’s so not happening.”

He laughs. I love the sound. I’ve missed him so much.

We sit at the sofa. An attendant brings us water and disappears behind a door in front. After takeoff, somewhere around twenty-eight thousand feet, Brady and I do in fact join the mile-high club.

For the remainder of the flight, we eat breakfast, and he tells me about how the band ended up getting signed. The night I left, Jesse called to tell him a rep from the label would be at the next show. I realize this is what he meant when he told Annabelle they were going to celebrate. The rep made the show and invited the band to their offices in L.A. After a few weeks of contract negotiations, they signed the contracts and have been in the studio ever since.

I ask him about the family that was going to adopt Camilia and Paco. He doesn’t know all the details, but it didn’t work out. I also ask how it’s going with Davey. I’m elated when Brady informs me that not only did they find Davey’s son, but that Davey is working full time and staying out of trouble. He’s been granted visitation and will soon have his son every other weekend.

The captain announces that we’ve started our descent, and I glance out the window. I don’t hate flying out of San Diego nearly as much as flying into it. Logically I know there are miles between the buildings, but somehow when you shoot between them in a plane at a few hundred miles an hour, it feels like only inches. I hold my breath until the wheels are firmly on the ground.

On the drive home, Brady gets off the highway onto a familiar exit.

“Why are we going to PB?”

“To say ‘hi’ to our girl.”

I search his caring face, completely in awe of the love I feel for him.

Mona Olivia Hunter
. I read my baby’s headstone for the first time. I left before it was put in. Brady’s hand is sweaty in mine, but I’m thankful he won’t let go. I pull him down to sit on the lawn. For twenty minutes we sit there, hand and hand, mourning a part of us.

“I think about her every day.” His voice breaks.

“Me, too.”

It’s all he needs to say. She’ll never be forgotten, but we have to move forward. It’s time.

***

Liv and Andrew come out of the house to greet us. Andrew runs over to hug Brady, and Liv comes straight for me. Tears fill her eyes, but they don’t spill.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

She throws her arms around my neck as the tears break free. “I hate you. Don’t ever do that again.”

“I’m sorry.”

I expected Liv to be upset. We’ve barely spent a day apart since the eighth grade. It’s the sad face of the little boy next to me that surprises me. “Hi, Andrew.”

His little body presses up against my legs as his arms wrap around me. I reach down and lift him into my arms. He clings to me like I’m the air he breathes. I’m completely taken aback.

“I missed you, Tori.”

The ache in my heart is indescribable. If he’s this upset about my month-long absence, I’m hating the thought of what it will be like when he realizes his mother is gone forever. I squeeze him hard, thinking I would die for this kid to save him one ounce of pain. Brady looks at the two of us with an adoring smile. As I set Andrew down, he reaches for my hand. I hold it as we walk up to the house.

Halfway up the stairs, I tense as I think about what awaits me in the house. Liv’s at the door waiting for me.

“Is Tug here?” I stop breathing.

“No, he’s in…well, shit. I don’t know what state he’s in this week. He’s all over the place.”

I laugh nervously and then snap my mouth shut.

Liv continues. “I told him he needs to email me his itinerary.”

“He’s a grown man, Liv,” Brady points out while I start breathing again. 

Liv turns to Brady with her hands on her hips. My bestie is as feisty as ever. “What if there’s an emergency?”

 Brady rolls his eyes. “Gibson knows where he is.”

She huffs, dropping her hands from her hips as we walk inside. “He should still let us know.”

I don’t know how things will be between Tug and me when he gets back. I know I’ll have to face him when he does. Even though he has his own place in San Diego, he spends most of his time at our house.

Brady sets the suitcase at the bottom of the stairs. He turns to look at me. His face twists. It’s warped with conflict. “I have to go meet the guys at the studio later. Do you want to come?”

For so long the studio was our garage that it takes me a minutes to realize he means the label’s studio. “Of course.” 

“Hey, I wanted to get ice cream,” Andrew whines next to us.

Brady shrugs at me and then looks down at Andrew. “I have a lot of work to do today, buddy.”

Andrew groans, and although he shouldn’t be pouting, he looks adorable. Guilt pokes at me, knowing Brady missed time in the studio to come and get me. I’m sure the label isn’t happy about it.

“I have an idea.” I cup Andrew’s shoulder. He looks up at me. “Why don’t we drop Daddy off at the studio, and then you and I can go for ice cream? I know a place that has ice cream and chocolate.”

His eyes twinkle just like his father’s. That and his toothy grin make me smile. “And then we can go watch Daddy rock.”

I rub his head with a laugh. “Yes, and then we can go watch Daddy rock.”

He jumps up and down, clapping his hands. “Yes! You’re the best, Tori.”

Warmth travels through me. I’ve been home less than an hour, and I’m falling in absolute love with this kid. It’s not surprising. Everything about him is so much like his incorrigible father.

After dropping Brady off at the studio, I drive to Fifth Avenue and score a parking spot out in front of Ghirardelli’s. The neon lighting above the sign flashes. I notice Andrew’s wide eyes as he takes in the glowing building. “This is an ice cream shop?”

I smile and open my door. “Yep. Come on, kiddo.”

I take his hand and hold it as we walk inside. His mouth opens, his eyes traveling from the floor-to-ceiling wall of chocolate on the right to the enormous ice cream bar on the left. He beams up at me. “My mom won’t let me have chocolate or ice cream.”

My brain locks on that. Am I not supposed to let him have sweets? I know it’s not good for him. That’s the point of a special treat. I shake it off. It’s not like it’s all he eats three times a day. But then I worry maybe he has an allergy. Should I call Brady?  I wonder if Andrew knows.

I look down at him. “Are you allergic?”

A sad frown crosses his lips as he looks at his feet. “No, Mom’s friends let me have it when they babysit, but Mom won’t ever buy it for me.”

I smile and laugh. “Because it rots your teeth?”

“No, she said it’s because she can’t afford it…but she buys mommy juice for herself.”

My smile washes away. I press my lips together and inhale a sharp breath.
Mommy juice?
I’m not sure what pisses me off more, the fact that she laid a guilt trip about finances on a four-year-old or calling alcohol “mommy juice.” I get joking like that with a friend, but Andrew’s just a kid. What if he tried to drink it? I don’t know why I’m surprised. I read her letter. I already know she hasn’t been a good mother.

I inhale another calming breath. I won’t say anything bad about his mother in front of him. “Well, it just so happens that I don’t like juice, so looks like we’re having ice cream and chocolate.”

His eyes are as big as plates when he smiles. “Goodie.”

We sit at a small table in the corner and order an earthquake. There’s no way we’ll finish the eight-scoop monstrosity, but I couldn’t say no to Andrew’s smiling green eyes when he saw it on the menu.

As we wait for our order, I watch Andrew fidget, his face twisting until I see a familiar wrinkle between his eyebrows. Observing his head full of dark hair, olive skin, and breathtaking green eyes, I wonder if Annabelle was even present for his conception. There’s not a trace of her in this kid’s looks. His little mouth turns down is a mournful frown.

“What’s the matter?”

His eyes flick up to mine. “She’s not coming back this time, is she?”

The fact that he said “this time” infuriates me. What do I say to him? I don’t want to lie to him. I can’t very well tell him she’s written him off and probably has since birth. I feel nothing but hatred for Annabelle, but he doesn’t need to know that.

“I don’t know, honey,” I admit sadly. “I wish I did.”

“She doesn’t love me.” It’s not a question. He’s sharing his thoughts with me.

I reach across the table and take his hands. “Don’t ever think that, sweetheart.” I suck in a thick breath, nearly choking on it to hold back tears. How do I say this without destroying him? “I think she loves you enough to understand that it’s best for you to be with your daddy right now.” A small smile starts to pull at the corners of his mouth. “I know how much she loves you. No one will ever love you like your mom.”

“Then why’d she leave me?”

His fragile innocence squeezes my heart. I refuse to tell him it’s because she’s messed up and her head isn’t on straight. I won’t tarnish his opinion of her.

“I’m not sure, but I know that no matter where she is, she thinks about you all the time.”