Isn't It Romantic? (15 page)

“The difference is in the dresses,” Carlo said. “Iona has chosen a lovely satin, long sleeve, Queen Anne neckline with a full skirt and pearl-beaded lace.”

Sotto voce, Owen said, “You're shaking the table.”

“Sorry,” Carlo said, and forced down his knees with his hands.

Owen continued, “And Natalie is absolutely exquisite in a St. Tropez model bridal gown with spaghetti straps and a full skirt with a matte satin finish.”

Natalie hooked her wrists around her French husband's neck and softly moved with him as she sang along with Ella, while Opal gripped the handle of a white movie screen and pulled it fully extended as Mrs. Christiansen switched on a high school projector and clicked to Biggy's hokey slide photograph of Natalie, Iona, and Mrs. Christiansen crowding into an upstairs dresser mirror as they put the final touches to their hair.

Mrs. Christiansen clicked to a slide in which Dick, Owen, Carlo, and the Reverend Picarazzi were making faces as they gripped Pierre by the waist, as if trying to pull him back into the church. She then clicked to a slide of Natalie and Iona putting on garters and showing plenty of gam. Opal, Nell, Onetta, and Ursula looked on with hands to their mouths, as if shocked.

On the dance floor, Dick swung and dipped Iona as Mrs. Christiansen clicked to the wedding ceremony and a slide of Pierre standing with his hand out, waiting for the ring, while Dick, with both his trouser pockets yanked out, pretended to have lost it. She clicked to the next slide. Same pose, but roles reversed.

In the next slide, Owen and Ursula hefted feed shovels loaded with rice. They were mugging for the camera as they waited for the happy couples to descend the church steps. Mrs. Christiansen clicked again. Natalie had tossed her garter. In the scrum for it, the trucker from Sidney held it out of Carlo's reach.

And now Natalie and Pierre were kissing, and all of Seldom had joined them on the dance floor, Carlo with Ursula, the Reverend Picarazzi with Owen's Aunt Opal, Onetta with old Nell, all singing along with Ella Fitzgerald's “Isn't it romantic?”

And Biggy crouched to take a gag photograph of Owen seemingly drunk, his head flat on the table, and tipped over beside his gaping mouth was a high-shouldered bottle of red wine that would soon be distributed by the firm of Smith et Fils.

About the Author

R
ON
H
ANSEN
is the author, most recently, of
A Stay Against Confusion: Essays on Faith and Fiction
and of the novel
Hitler's Niece
. His previous novel,
Atticus,
was a National Book Award finalist. His other highly praised works of fiction include
Mariette in Ecstasy, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Desperadoes,
and the story collection
Nebraska
. With Jim Shepard, he edited the anthology
You've Got to Read This: Contemporary American Writers Introduce Stories That Held Them in Awe
. Ron Hansen is married to the novelist Bo Caldwell and lives in northern California, where he teaches fiction writing and literature at Santa Clara University.

 

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www.AuthorTracker.com
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Praise for
Isn't It Romantic?

“
Isn't It Romantic?
zips along like a Preston Sturges movie . . . the sentences are swift and he punctuates them with a dry wit and some genuinely droll ripostes. . . . The tiny town of Seldom is truly a funny place.”

—
New York Times Book Review

 

“Ron Hansen's
Isn't It Romantic?
is a lively, affectionate, and often poetic romp. It made me laugh out loud.”

—Bob Kerrey, president of the New School University and former Nebraska governor and senator

 

“A treat. . . . [
Isn't It Romantic?
] has both sophisticated and down-homey humor . . . with laugh-out-loud scenes.”

—
People

 

“Hilarious . . . be prepared to be unexpectedly charmed, delighted, and touched.”

—
Charlotte Observer

 

“Hansen makes it fresh, crafting a tale that reads like gold and unfolds like a laugh-out-loud film. . . .
Isn't It Romantic?
lives up to the airy promise of its title and delights while doing so.”

—
Minneapolis Star Tribune

 

“Ron Hansen . . . has given us the gift of well-wrought fun in
Isn't It Romantic?
. . . full of all the romance, confusion, and poetry that comes when sophistication meets true salt-of-the-earth charm.”

—
BookPage

 

“Ron Hansen's fine, funny novel
Isn't It Romantic?
is a light-as-a-feather mélange of romance, farce, and folksy foolishness.”

—
Philadelphia Inquirer

 

“[A] comedy of culture shock and errors [that] never misses a punch line.”

—
Denver Westward

 

“This light, charming, and humorous romp will bring a smile to the face of even the most love-jaded reader.”

—
Library Journal

 

“Done with such skill and such heart that this slyly comic froth of a novel is exceptionally enjoyable.”

—
Lincoln Journal Star
(NE)

 

“A delightful surprise. . . . Hansen shows the true reach of his talent, displaying a rare, deft touch in an inspired comedy that will have readers laughing out loud. Completely charming.”

—
Booklist

 

“Ron Hansen delivers a sweet surprise with
Isn't It Romantic?
”

—
Midwest Living

Also by Ron Hansen

F
ICTION

Hitler's Niece

Atticus

Mariette in Ecstasy

Nebraska

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Desperadoes

 

E
SSAYS

A Stay Against Confusion: Essays on Faith and Fiction

 

F
OR
C
HILDREN

The Shadowmaker

 

E
DITOR

You've Got to Read This:
Contemporary American Writers Introduce Stories
That Held Them in Awe
(with Jim Shepard)

You Don't Know What Love Is:
Contemporary American Short Stories

Copyright

“Can't Help Falling in Love” from the Paramount Picture
Blue Hawaii
Words and music by George David Weiss, Hugo Peretti, and Luigi Creatore
Copyright © 1961 by Gladys Music, Inc.

Copyright renewed and assigned Gladys Music

All rights administered by Cherry Lane Music Publishing Company, Inc. and Chrysalis Music

International copyright secured. All rights reserved.

 

“Isn't It Romantic?” from the Paramount Picture
Love Me Tonight

Words by Lorenz Hart

Music by Richard Rodgers

Copyright © 1932 (Renewed 1959) by Famous Music Corporation

International copyright secured. All rights reserved.

 

“I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry” written by Hank Williams, Sr.

Copyright © 1949, renewed 1978, Hiriam Music Acuff-Rose Music, Inc.

International Rights secured. All rights reserved.

Used with permission.

 

ISN
'
T IT ROMANTIC
? Copyright © 2003 by Ron Hansen. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

 

FIRST EDITION

 

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Hansen, Ron

       Isn't it Romantic? : an entertainment / Ron Hansen.-- 1st \ ed.

            p. cm.

       ISBN 0-06-051766-2

       EPUB Edition OCTOBER 2014 ISBN 9780061978234

            1.French--Nebraska--Fiction. 2. Travelers--Fiction. 3. Nebraska--Fiction. I. Title.

 

PS3558.A5133 I75 2003

813'.54--dc21

2002069082

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