Isn't It Time (13 page)

“You forgot to mention beautiful,” I said, shoveling in
another bite of omelet.

He laughed.  “I thought you could see that part for
yourself.”

I smiled and just nodded my agreement, as I had a mouthful
of omelet.

“While we were sitting there talking, I was drinking, a lot,
but she wasn’t.  She told me she couldn’t drink because she had too many things
that needed to be done for her mother when she got home and relieved the
visiting nurse.  So, anyway, she was sober, but I got shit-faced drunk.  One
thing led to another and I ended up fucking her against the back of the
garage.”

My eyebrows shot up and my mouth dropped open.  “Nate!” I
exclaimed.  I was as shocked by what he said as I was by what he actually did.

“Yeah,” he said. “Not my finest hour. I woke up the next
morning on the couch at the house where the party had been with only vague
memories of the night before.  I remembered doing it, but not most of the
details.  Except for the one that made me most ashamed of myself.”

“Which was?” I was almost afraid to ask, but was nosy enough
to want to know.

“She was a virgin.”  He shook his head in disgust at
himself.  “She was a virgin and I just took it from her, outside, in the middle
of a party, against a goddamn wall!”

“
Against her will
?” I squeaked out, horrified. I was
also a little louder than I had intended, causing several diners in the
vicinity to turn and look at me curiously.

“No! God, no!” he exclaimed.  “I might have been an animal,
but I’m not a monster. I could never get so drunk that I would force myself on
someone.” 

“Of course not,” I apologized weakly.  “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said with a small smile.  “I probably could
have worded that better. Anyway, afterwards, I was ashamed of myself and afraid
of how she might be feeling about me – I mean, I don’t even know how she got
home that night - so I never even called her.  Her mother died two weeks later
and I went to the funeral.  She was very sweet to me, but didn’t bring up what
happened between us.  And I certainly wasn’t going to – especially not at her
mother’s funeral. I didn’t expect to ever see her again.”

“But she was pregnant,” I deduced, showing off my exemplary
detective skills.

“Yeah. She showed up at my apartment about a month after the
funeral to tell me.  She was very straightforward and practical about the whole
thing, even though it had to be hard for her, having her plans for her life
unexpectedly screwed up like that – especially so soon after losing her
mother.  She told me she was going to have the baby and she didn’t expect
anything from me, but that she thought I should know.”

“You must have been shocked,” I said, smearing apple butter
on my toast.  Nate’s plate was still half-full but mine was wiped clean.

“Shocked and guilty. To be honest, I offered to marry her,
but she turned me down.  She didn’t think two people who barely knew each other
should get married just because they were going to be parents. We talked all
that day and she agreed to let me be involved in the baby’s life – she was
actually relieved to hear that I wanted to.  I finally apologized for what I
had done to her and she said I had nothing to apologize for – we both wanted it
and we did it.  For her, end of story.”  He ran a hand through his hair, blew
out a breath, and shook his head.  “If you knew her, you’d understand that’s
just the way she is.  She goes out of her way to make sure other people don’t
feel bad about anything – even if they should.  I wasn’t sure if I believed
her, but over the years I’ve learned that’s how she honestly felt and I let go
of a little of the guilt.”

“She sounds like an unusually wonderful person,” I remarked,
surprising myself by not feeling in the least bit jealous. Or hating her
outright.

“She is.” He smiled fondly and finished off the rest of his
coffee. “I remember when she asked me if I would be her coach for Michael’s
delivery.  She said I didn’t have to if I didn’t want to and she wouldn’t think
less of me if I didn’t.”  He laughed and leaned back against the booth, with
his arm spread out across the top.  “As if I was going to turn her down! She told
me later that, inside, she was a wreck, because if I said no, she didn’t have
anyone else to ask. But she didn’t want to make me feel bad if I didn’t want to
do it.  I didn’t expect her to offer and I was happy as hell to say yes.”

“So you got to watch him being born? What was that like?” I
was genuinely curious, having never seen a baby born before.

He got a faraway look in his eyes and gazed out the window,
as if he was reliving it.  He turned his eyes back to me and said, “Honestly? 
It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen and easily the greatest day of
my life.  Funny how something that started out as a thing to be ashamed of
turned into my proudest moment.”

“That’s nice, Nate.”  I pushed my empty bread plate to the
side and concentrated on my coffee.  “Is that when the two of you started to
have a relationship?”

“No,” he said, looking at me as if he didn’t understand what
I was asking.  “I told you. We don’t have a sexual relationship and we never
really did.”

“But you had another baby,” I pointed out.

And just like that, his face closed off and his whole
demeanor changed.  “We did,” he said stiffly.  “But how that came about is an
entirely different story and not one I want to share.”

I could see he was dead serious about that which, naturally,
made me even more curious.  He could tell me about drunkenly banging a
beautiful virgin against a wall, but couldn’t tell me about the conception of
his second child?  That story must be a doozy. But I knew when to back off, so
I did.

“Okay, I can respect that,” I said and finished off my
coffee as we sat for a minute in an uncomfortable silence.

“I’m sorry,” Nate said. “I didn’t mean to be abrupt.  It’s
just not something I want to talk about.”

“No, it’s fine.  I don’t expect you to give me all the private
details of your life – and I shouldn’t have even asked.”

“I don’t care that you asked, I can understand that you’re
curious about my relationship with Kayla. I just want you to believe me that
there is nothing going on there.”

“I believe you,” I said with a smile, thinking of my own
relationship with Jack.

“So we’re good?”

“We’re good,” I confirmed and reached across the table to
squeeze his hand.  To my surprise, he flipped his hand over and grasped mine –
and didn’t let it go.

“Are you going to be able to finish your breakfast
one-handed?”

“I’m done,” he replied with a grin.  “And even if I wasn’t,
I’d find a way to do it without the use of this hand.”  He gave my hand another
squeeze.

I smiled at him for a second and then, after taking a quick
look around the restaurant to see who might be watching, I used my free hand to
push my empty plate to his side of the table and pull his half-full one in
front of me.

“Are you still hungry?”

“No, I’m stuffed,” I said with a wink. “I just want the
waitress to think that you’re the pig, not me.”

He burst out laughing and squeezed my hand. He grabbed the
bill, stood up without letting go of my hand and pulled me out of the booth.
“Come on, goofy, let’s go.”

During the short drive back to Jack’s house, I learned that
Nate had originally been an accounting major in college but had switched to
Information Technology after taking only one class in that subject.  He told me
he found it fascinating.  I told him I found it as dull as dirt. Even duller
than accounting, if one could imagine such a thing.

I already knew he owned a small consulting firm – small, as
in it was just him working from his home – but he told me the reason he broke
out on his own was to be more available if Kayla needed help with the boys
during the day.

I wondered if he made all his life decisions based on his
sons’ needs, which I would consider normal – or Kayla’s, which I wouldn’t. I
wanted more information about that situation, but there was no way I was going
to start grilling him so soon after I told him I didn’t require all the details
of his private life. 

As I listened to him talk about his business, I decided I
needed to be a little more guarded with this relationship, not rushing headlong
into it when he had a situation I didn’t know all the details of - and I had a
situation of my own with Jack. 

I found Nate attractive and I liked him very much; he
reminded me of Jack in some ways.  But, still, something about the idea of
getting involved with him wasn’t sitting right with me.  There was a niggling
feeling at the back of my brain, telling me to proceed with caution. So I
decided I would do exactly that until that thing at the back of my brain broke
itself loose and I knew for sure what was causing this hesitancy. Then I would
deal with it.

We had just walked back into Jack’s house when I heard my
phone playing Steely Dan.  Nate smirked at me, amused, as I dug the phone out
of my purse.

“Hey, Jack,” I answered.

“Hey.  Are you done with breakfast?”

“Yeah, we just walked in the door to your house.  How did
the meeting with Frank go?”

“About as we expected,” he said.  “He was not happy.  I
thought he was going to quit on the spot when I told him Heather would be
reporting to him from now on.”

“Interesting.”

“Yeah.  And I had barely hit ‘send’ on that memo before the
first group of people started rushing to my office with questions about it.  I
can already see it’s going to be a shitty day.”

“Do you want me to come in and beat them away from your
door?”  I mentally crossed my fingers and hoped he would answer in the
negative.  I heard Nate snort at that and looked up to see he was sitting at
the kitchen table, watching me and smiling.

Jack laughed. “I appreciate the thought, Rambo, but that’s
not necessary.  I’m just looking at it as the last time I’ll have to deal
directly with this kind of thing and it’ll be fine.”

“Okay, if you’re sure,” I said, kicking myself for giving
him an opportunity to change his mind.

“I’m sure.  But I did call for a favor.”

“Shoot,” I said.

“I forgot I have a dinner meeting downtown tonight.  A
pre-bid thing.  So I won’t be home until late.  Would it be too much to ask for
you to hang out with Luke tonight?  I hate to leave him sitting there by
himself again.”

“Yeah, I can do that.  I’m sure we can find something to
do.”  I looked up at Nate again and he winked at me and flashed the dimples.  I
rolled my eyes at him and actually blushed, making him laugh.

“Great. Thank you. And can you pick out a tie for me and
send it with Luke?”

“Sure, not a problem.  Have fun tonight and I guess I’ll see
you tomorrow.”

“Okay.  See ya, Ange.”

“See ya, Jack.”  I disconnected the call and said, “Jack has
plans tonight so he asked me to entertain you.”

“Really?” He drew that word out to about four syllables and
wiggled his eyebrows. “That was certainly generous of him.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter and tell me what you’d like
to do.”

I sat with him at the table and we discussed options until
he decided he would like to have dinner and then drive to the casino in
Windsor.

I wasn’t much of a gambler, but it still sounded like fun to
me.  “What about your call to the boys? How will you fit that in?”

“I’ll call them this afternoon when Michael gets home from
school.  Kayla likes the opportunity to read to them, too, so it’ll be fine.”

“You’ll need your birth certificate to get across the
border. I don’t suppose you have it with you, do you?” Even as I asked, I
thought that was probably unlikely.  Then I hoped I could find my own and tried
to remember where I had put it.

He told me he had an enhanced driver’s license that would
confirm his citizenship, so we planned for him to pick me up right after he got
done at the office.  I gave him my address and suggested that maybe we should
get around to discussing work.

“I’d rather discuss you,” he said, reaching across the table
and grabbing my hand again.

“You’re awfully feisty so early in the morning,” I told him.

“Oh, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet,” he said with a grin.

I arched an eyebrow at him.  “Yet? Presumptuous.”

“No. Hopeful.”

I smiled at his flattery, but was suddenly feeling a little
nervous at how quickly he seemed to be trying to move this forward. I
disengaged my hand from his and said, “Listen, Psycho.  Save that stuff for
later.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized they almost sounded like
an invitation – or a promise. “Um, I didn’t mean that like it sounded.”

“Oh. Well, that’s disappointing.”  We laughed at that and
then I got the conversation back on track.

I found out that Jack had already contracted him to come in
for the week to upgrade the server and give some recommendations about setting
up an in-house IT department.  Currently, when there was a problem, we counted
on one of the engineers to try to fix it.  Most of the time he could do it, but
sometimes the problem was way over his head.  Plus, he had his own work to do
and Jack didn’t like to keep dragging him away from it.

When the issue of the missing money came up, Jack asked Nate
if he could also help us out where he could with that and Nate had agreed.

“I’m not sure how much I’m going to be able to do with that,
but Jack wants me to monitor emails and internet usage and see if I can pick up
anything there.”

“He wants you to spy on his employees?” That did not sound
like Jack at all.

“Well, yes and no. I’ll be looking for very specific
things.  Jack was pretty adamant about my keeping anything I learned of a
personal nature to myself.  If it doesn’t have to do with the embezzlement,
then he doesn’t want to know about it.”

“Oh. That sounds reasonable, I guess.”

“Yeah. Plus, this afternoon I’ll be setting up your computer
with full access to accounts payable, payroll and the general ledger so you’ll
be able to pull whatever reports you might want without having to go to anyone
else to get them.  Jack thinks that will be beneficial later, too.”

“He’s right about that.  Wait until you meet Marla.  She’s
an interesting character and very possessive of her files.  It’s like pulling
teeth to get a simple report out of her. I swear, if I planned to remove one of
her files from her area, I’d better go armed.”

“That’s interesting,” Nate said.  “Wonder why she’s so
protective of those files?”

“No clue, except that she’s been there a long time and she
likes things the way she likes them.”

“Hmmm…I think I’ll look into her first.”

“Well, I imagine once you see her, and her boobs, you’ll be
wanting to do more than look.”  I rolled my eyes and Nate laughed. “Jack thinks
Frank is the one you should be looking the hardest at.”

“Does Frank have good boobs?”

“Gross.”  We both laughed and I stood up.  “I think this
conversation has deteriorated far enough.  Jack wants you to take him a tie for
tonight, so I’ll go get one for you.”

“Okay.  I’ll get my stuff packed up.  I need to get moving.”

By the time I returned with the tie, Nate looked ready to
go. He shoved the tie in his jacket pocket and waited while I gathered up my
various containers from Sunday and loaded them back into my tote bags. I smiled
to myself when I saw the second treat container was missing.

“Since you bought me breakfast this morning, why don’t I
make you dinner tonight before we go?” I offered.

“Oh. Okay. That sounds great. Thanks.”

“Is there anything you don’t like?”

“As long as it’s not liver, I’ll eat it.”

“I have never made liver in my life.”

“Good, then it’s a plan.” He displayed the dimples and then
held the door for me as I went through it with my bulky load.

We loaded our stuff into the back seats of our respective
cars and he turned to me as he was opening his driver’s side door.  “Okay, I’ll
see you sometime between 5:00 and 5:30, then.”

“Sounds good.  Have a fun afternoon.” I closed my back door
and stood out of the way as Nate waved and pulled out of the driveway.

I opened my door to get in and saw a folded yellow note on
the front seat.  Puzzled, I picked it up and unfolded it, smiling when I
recognized Jack’s sprawling handwriting.

“Enjoy your afternoon off. Don’t have too much fun
without me.  xoxo”

Looking at that note, with its hugs and kisses addendum,
caused a little flutter in my chest.  Jack had never written me a note before
that didn’t have a particular purpose behind it, like, “Went to get propane for
the grill, be right back.”  And he had never signed any of those with hugs and
kisses.

I slid into my car and closed the door behind me, still holding
the note. Then I read it three more times. It wasn’t that it said anything so
important, but I kept picturing him writing it and leaving it for me to find. 
Like he was thinking of me and wanted to make sure I was thinking of him while
we were apart. It was such a sweet thing for him to do and I found myself
wishing, again, that things could be different between us.

I pulled a pen out of my purse and wrote the date on the
back of the note.  Then I folded it carefully and put it in my wallet.

Then I drove away to start enjoying my afternoon off.