It Was You (4 page)

“There's one other thing,” I said.

They both looked at me, waiting.

“The one thing I was really looking forward to was living in the dorm,” I said. “Being on my own. I still want to do that.”

They exchanged glances again.

I took a deep breath. “I want to get my own apartment.”

SIX

“
It's like I don't even know you anymore.”

“
Shut up.” I rolled my eyes at my best friend and rubbed a dollop of sunscreen across my midsection. It was almost three o'clock but it was late summer and the sun still hung high in the sky, threatening to sear us with late afternoon rays. I liked my tan but I didn't want to be burned to a crisp.

“
Or maybe you're still drunk,” Tana said, repositioning herself on her blue striped beach towel. Her blond hair was piled on top of her head in a sloppy bun. In the sunlight, it looked almost white.

She'd texted me while I was at the office with my parents, asking if I was coming down. I'd finished with them, stopping home long enough to change into my suit and grab a towel and a diet Coke before heading down to Law Street.

She brushed at the sand on her forearm. “Why the hell would you change your mind about State?”

Her reaction had been just about the same as my parents had been when I shared the news. Utter disbelief.

“I can't believe you even have to ask.”

She chewed on her lip and thought. “I just can't believe you're giving up school because of that bitch.” Tana was the one person who had no illusions about how I felt about my sister.

“I'm not,” I said.

When she lifted her sunglasses, her eyes narrowed, I said quickly, “Not really. I mean, yeah, I don't want to be there with her. Hell, I don't even want to be in the same stupid city as her. So I guess she was the impetus for it.” I smiled at the word. Senior English again, coming in handy.

“Yeah, I'd think I'd want to do more than just un-enroll from the same school if my sister had just sucked off the guy I was crushing on,” Tana muttered.

I waved my hand. “I don't really care about that.”

Her mouth dropped open.

“
I don't,” I insisted. “Kevin means nothing to me.”

“
No,” she said. “But he could have. If the Wicked Twin of the West hadn't waltzed in and done him in the bathroom...”

“
Stop.”

I sipped my soda. I didn't want to relive the image of Annika on her knees in Adam Mularkey's bathroom. But Tana waited, her expression doubtful.

I sighed. “Sure, I liked him. But it's not like we were a couple or anything. So, yeah, I was pissed about seeing her, knowing she was with him just to get to me. But it just started the ball rolling. I want to be away from her, Tana. I've lived my whole damn life in her shadow, you know?”

She nodded. “I know. And, uh, I think I've been telling you that for years.”

I smiled. “You have.”

She reached for my soda and took a drink. “It's too bad you can't come with me.”

My smile faded. “I know.”

Tana was leaving for Cal-Poly on Wednesday. She'd gotten a full scholarship and they had a great architecture program, one of the best in the country, but she was still reluctant to go.

Because she'd be leaving me.

“
It's only a few hours away,” she said. I didn't know if she was saying this for my benefit or for herself. She'd lowered her sunglasses but they were lightly tinted and I could see her eyes focused on the water, far out on the horizon. “You'll still be here in San Diego. Just a different school.”

“
Yep.” I forced the smile back to my lips and flipped over on to my stomach. “And you won't have to come visit me in a dorm.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Yeah, you totally need to dish how you managed to score that with your parents.”

I hadn't scored the apartment yet, but I was close. I'd expected my parents to freak when I mentioned wanting my own place but they'd remained remarkably calm about it. Mom twisted her hair tight and Dad grabbed his soda, probably wishing he could knock back something heavier at that moment. But they'd asked questions and listened to my answers. More importantly, they said they'd talk about privately. I could only hope they'd consider all of my reasons and decide they made sense.

A spray of cold water hit my back and I squealed.

“Oops. Sorry.” A male voice.

I flipped over. Kevin Swigert stood in front of me, his blond hair slicked back, water beading on his chest, his board shorts hanging loosely on his hips.

I shook my head. “Whatever.”

He ran his hand through his hair and more drops rained down on me. “So last night was pretty crazy...”

“Yeah.”

He shifted from one foot to the other. “I was sorta hoping I could talk to you. You know, about it.”

Tana lifted her sunglasses and watched openly, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

“
Alone,” he said, glancing at her.

“
What's there to talk about?” I asked.

“
You know,” he said, his eyes widening just a little. “The bathroom...”

I didn't know what he thought he needed to talk to me about. He'd been caught with his shorts around his ankle and his dick in my sister's mouth. It had nothing to do with me.

“Oh.” I raised my eyebrows, an expression of mock horror on my face. “I'm Abby. Not Annika.”

His cheeks colored. “I
know
that.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Whew. OK. Good. Just didn't want you thinking...”

“I know who you are, Abigail Sellers.” He crouched down, resting on his haunches, his face close to mine, his voice lowering to a whisper. “But last night, when I walked into that bathroom and someone followed me, I didn't.”

I stared at him. “I'm not following.”

“It doesn't make it OK,” he said. “Totally get that. But last night? I thought it was you.”

SEVEN

“
What the hell am I supposed to do with that little nugget of information?”

Tana watched as Kevin crossed the sand to the stairs that led back up to the street. “Maybe he felt bad and just wanted you to know?”

“He invited me to a
menage a trois
!”

She nodded. “Well, he was probably drunk off his ass.”

“And, I mean, what does that say about how he thinks of me?” I was incensed. “He really thought I—me? Abby?—would just hook up and suck him off in the fucking bathroom at Adam Mularkey's house?”

“
Whoa. Calm down.”

She knew I was pissed. I rarely cussed. It was one of Annika's bad habits, and one that I tried to steer clear of, if only to find a way to distance myself from her, to make me as unlike her as possible.

“He's such an ass.”

“
Or maybe he just meant he wanted to hook up with
you
,” Tana said. “Which, by the way, is kinda why you went upstairs in the first place.”

I frowned, even though she was right. I wasn't mad at him. I was mad at Annika. He probably had been drunk off his ass. That didn't excuse the act, but it also didn't justify my treating him like a criminal, either.

But no one ever said I was rational.

“
Anyway,” I said, changing the subject. I was done thinking about Kevin Swigert. Done. “Come to Mesa with me in the morning.”

“
You want me to accompany you to Harvard on the Hill?” she said, grinning. “Wait. Can I still call it that if you're going there?”

We'd mocked Mesa Community College for years. Harvard on the Hill. Thirteenth Grade. So witty. But it didn't seem so funny now that I was planning on enrolling there.

“You can call it whatever you'd like as long as you come with me,” I said. “I don't wanna fly solo.”

“
I thought that's actually why you were going there.”

I swatted her arm. “You know what I mean.”

She adjusted her sunglasses. “Okay. I'll be your wingwoman.”

“
You're the best.”

“
I really am.” Her mouth twisted into a sly grin. “What do you think Annika is going to say? Now that you've been given the green light by the parentals?”

“
About me not going to State?” I said. She'd already overheard the conversation with my dad but she didn't know I'd talked to them and gotten approval to switch gears. “Who cares? She'll probably make some snide remark and then hound me incessantly. And I'm going to ignore her. Completely. Drive her nosy butt nuts.”

Tana held up her hand and I high-fived it.

And that's exactly what I did. Annika was already waiting when I got home. She followed me into my room, peppering me with questions. I answered all of them with a shrug and a stone face. Few things got to Annika like my refusal to engage and I played it to perfection, watching her face get redder and angrier as the night went on. When she slammed my door after one last attempt before bed, I knew I was in for a great night of sleep.

***

I was out the door early the next morning, rested and in a good mood. It felt like the beginning of something big for me, like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. For the first time in a long time, I felt focused, energized.

I picked up Tana and we made the short drive over to Mesa. I'd been there maybe twice in my life, but had driven by it hundreds of times. We parked in a parking lot the size of three football fields and climbed a massive set of stairs. The sun was already warm, the thin marine layer not quite reaching the streets of Clairemont.

Tana put her hands on her knees when we reached the top, huffing and puffing. “Well, I know one thing.”

I bent over, too. “What?”

“
You'll have an ass made of steel if you have to climb those stairs every day.”

I was working too hard to catch my breath to laugh. I made a mental note to pick up a map and find a better place to park.

We walked aimlessly across the campus and I actually liked what I saw. White stucco buildings with archways. Lots of grassy areas. Plenty of trees. It looked like a college, just on a smaller scale. I could envision myself going to class there every day. Especially if Annika wouldn't be lurking around every corner.

A long line of people about my age snaked out of a large building near the center of campus.

“Gee,” Tana said. “I wonder if that's the registration line.” I could hear the resignation in her voice. The last thing she wanted to do was waste a day waiting in line when we could be at the beach.

“
Chill,” I told her. “You don't have anywhere you need to be.”

“
No, but I need a bathroom,” she said, her eyes scanning the building. “I'll find you in line.”

I headed for the back of the line and she took off in the other direction, clutching her canvas bag to her side.

I peered around the back of the line and guessed there were maybe a hundred people in front of me. I couldn't tell how many were in the building or where the line went from there. I allowed a sigh to escape. This was going to eat in to a big chunk of our day.

“
This is for registration, right?” I asked out loud.

The two guys in front of me turned around. The shorter one, dressed in a blue T-shirt, gray canvas shorts and flips, just stared at me blankly.

The taller one wore a black T-shirt stretched tight across his massive chest and long board shorts down to his knees. He raised an eyebrow at me. “No. They're giving out free hot dogs.”

“
Seriously?”

The shorter one snorted.

“Uh, no,” the tall one said. “And you're gonna need to be a little sharper than that if you're gonna get through college, sweetheart.”

I looked up at him. Thick black hair, all waves and curls. Icy blue eyes. A crooked, condescending smile. Carved out cheekbones. Dimple in his chin. Arms like tree trunks. Skin the color of caramel. A barb wire tattoo encircling his massive left bicep.

I was too taken in by his good looks to come up with a snarky comeback.

When I didn't say anything, he shrugged and turned around. His back was like a giant stone wall.

Tana found me in line. “Much better.”

I nodded, still trying to find words.

“What's wrong?” Tana asked.

“
She's disappointed about the hot dogs,” the guy said over his shoulder and his pal chuckled.

I felt my cheeks redden. “You don't need to be an ass,” I shot back.

Tana looked at me, then him, then back at me, completely confused.