It Was You (21 page)

“
Sunday?” he asked, disbelieving. “I have to wait another day to see you?”

“
I don't know yet,” I said quickly, not wanting to share that I'd promised Tana I would stay. “Let's see how it goes. I'm still going to shoot for tomorrow.”

I didn't want to stay. I wanted to hurry back and lie down with him and do all of the things that had been racing through my mind for the last several days. I wanted him to wrap his arms around me, whisper in my ear and make the rest of the world disappear. But I wasn't going to bail on Tana.

“Shoot hard,” he said.

“
I'll try,” I said, making no promises. “If I can get her settled and calmed down and show her that life won't end with crazy roommates, then maybe. But is it likely? No. I'll probably be here until Sunday.”

“
Try hard,” he said. “Try to make it okay for her. So you can come home to me.”

“
I'll try,” I repeated. “But no promises.”

“
Because I'm gonna go stir crazy without you.”

“
You can find things to keep you busy,” I said.

“
I want you to keep me busy.”

I shivered. “I will,” I said. “As soon as I get back.”

We talked for another minute before we hung up. I missed him even more than I thought I would. And I felt a little guilty for letting him think I might be back early because I really didn't think I could make that happen. Tana would need to do a complete one-eighty and I just didn't see that occurring. Maybe I could help make her comfortable, feel better about the living situation, help her start feeling good about all of the good things about going to school. I would try my hardest to see if I could make that happen. Because I wouldn't bail on her if she needed me. But if I could see that she was going to be fine?

I would race back to West.

THIRTY ONE

Tana wasn't going to be fine.

I'd phoned my parents, leaving them a voice mail on the home phone, letting them know I might be at Tana's for the entire weekend. We'd eventually settled in, her in her bed, me on an air mattress on the floor. She kept me up half the night, whispering to me that she thought the deer head was staring right at her. And every time she woke me up, Gil and Athena were making...noise. Gil wasn't much to look at and definitely gave us both the creeps, but he apparently possessed the stamina of a porn star. Because all night long, he was grunting and Athena was breathing heavy and their bed was shaking in the dark.

So Tana and I got out of the room early in the morning, hiking around the campus for fresh air, exercise and to giggle about Gil and Athena. She seemed a little more relaxed by the time we got back to the room and it helped that Gil and Athena were gone. Her roommate had left a note, letting us know they'd be gone for the better part of the day. We hypothesized as to why—hunting, swingers club, lingerie shopping—but we were glad to have her room to ourselves.

We unpacked the rest of the  stuff she'd brought from home and spent the day getting her re-organized, filling her dresser and closet, re-arranging the decorating we'd done the weekend before. It was good to spend time with her and it seemed like every conversation led to both of us convulsing in laughter. Part of me wondered if I should focus hard enough on my classes at Mesa to get my grades up so I could eventually transfer to Poly to spend my last two years of college with her. I knew that was looking ahead, but we were having so much fun that I couldn't help but think about what it would be like if we were able to live together.

But then I thought about West. He wouldn't be there if the daydream came true. I let myself fantasize about both of us coming up to Poly when we were done at Mesa, thinking about how my life would be complete, being able to spend time with both him and my best friend while getting my degree. It was crazy and silly but I loved the possibility. I loved the dream. I wanted to share it with him, reach out and tell him about it. And even though I promised Tana I'd cool it with West for the weekend, focus more on her than him, I reached for my phone to tell him just that. And then froze. Because when I looked at my phone, I saw my battery indicator telling me it was nearly dead,. I realized with horror that I'd somehow forgotten to pack my charger.

“You're sure you don't have it?” Tana asked as I ripped through my bag, knowing it was a futile effort.

“
I'm positive,” I said, my shoulders sagging. “It's on my nightstand. I meant to grab it and just spaced it.”

“
We can go buy one,” she offered.

“
It'll be like thirty bucks,” I said, shaking my head. “For one night.”

“
What about your car charger?” she asked.

I bit my lip. “It's in my bedroom.”

She rolled her eyes. “And it's there because...?”

“
I don't know,” I said. “Probably because I took it in your car one time and forgot to put it back in my car?”

“
You can use my phone,” she said. “To talk to him.”

I nodded, but I was disappointed. How could I ask Tana for her phone to text my boyfriend when I'd already promised I'd be one hundred percent available to her that weekend? 

And, just then, my phone dinged with a text. I knew it was from him. The battery light blinked red. Nearly dead. I opened the message.

I'm getting in the shower. And thinking about you.

Thinking about me how?

Thinking about what I'd do to you if you were here in the shower with me.

A not-so-small thrill ran through me. I ached to be standing under hot water with him, to let his hands and mouth roam my body.

The phone dinged again.

Tell me you're coming home tonight.

I smiled and wished I could tell him that.

Why? Miss me?

YES. Come home. Take a shower with me.

Tempting.

Don't think. Just come back.

I sighed. As much fun as I was having with Tana, I was tempted. I wanted to go back to him. And I didn't want to disappoint him.

I tapped the screen.

Soon.

How soon?

SOON.

Killing me, Abby Sellers.

I laughed, then felt my stomach sink as my phone screen went black. “Shit.”

Tana glanced over at me from her desk. “Dead?”

“Yeah.”

“
You need to call him?”

I thought for a moment. “No. I'll call him tonight. If I call him, I'll be on the phone with him forever.” I smiled at her. “And I don't want to burn the rest of the day with you like that.”

She smiled back. “You can call him, Abs. I don't mind.”

“
I will,” I said. “Tonight.”

“
You sure? He'll understand?”

I thought for a moment. Our text conversation had ended at a breaking point. He wouldn't be wondering where I'd gone. And he might be a little miffed to not hear from me until later, especially since he'd distracted me with his naked body getting into the shower when I should've told him that I had a nearly dead phone. But he'd be okay. He'd pout, but he'd be okay. And we'd get to talk that night.

“I'm sure,” I said, nodding. “He'll understand.”

Tana studied me for a moment, then smiled at me. “You really like him, don't you?”

I looked down at my dead phone. “Yeah. I really like him.”

“
You seem happier than you've seemed in a long time.”

I nodded. “I think I am. Changed my mind about school. Met him. Annika's gone. It's all gone right so far.” I looked up at her. “I am happy.”

She smiled at me. “You should leave early tomorrow. Get back to him.”

“
I told him I'd be back later in the day.”

She shook her head. “I'll have been babysat long enough. You miss him. He misses you. Get up in the morning and go home.”

I didn't tell her that I wanted to go home that afternoon, that I wanted to cut out early and get back to the boy who had absolutely stolen my heart. Because I'd promised.

“
We'll see,” I said instead.

But, inside, I was secretly hoping. Hoping I could get back to West and finish what we'd started.

THIRTY TWO

West didn't answer his phone.

And Tana didn't want me to go home.

I called three times from Tana's phone. Once before we went to dinner. Once after we went to dinner. And once after we got back to her room after sticking our heads into a party at a house next to the dorm. The party was overrun with drunken males who seemed thrilled to see two girls show up and as soon as we realized we were significantly outnumbered, we headed back to her room.

“He probably doesn't recognize the number,” Tana said, as I handed her back the phone.

I nodded, but couldn't hide my disappointment. “Probably.”

“You left a message?”

I shook my head. “No. I wanted to talk to him.”

She held out the phone. “So keep calling. Make him answer.”

I thought for a second, then shook my head. “No. It's okay.”

“Doesn't seem okay.”

It wasn't. I wanted to talk to him. And I needed to tell him, even though I didn't want to, that I was staying the extra night.

“He's probably busy,” I said. “I didn't ask him what he was doing tonight and it's not like he should have to stay home just because I'm not there.”

Tana raised an eyebrow. “I say keep calling.”

I could've. And maybe he would've eventually answered. But I didn't want to be the girl who had to call sixteen times out of panic until he answered. I didn't want to be the girl freaking out when all he'd probably done was left his phone at home or let it die by mistake, just like I had. I wanted to talk to him, but I didn't want to come off as the crazy girlfriend.

“
No,” I said. “If he calls back, fine.”

“
You didn't leave a message.”

She had a point. “Gimme the phone.”

She handed it to me and I punched in the number. His voice came on again and told me to leave a message.

“
Hey, it's me,” I said. “I'm calling from Tana's phone. My phone died and I don't have my charger. You can call me back if you get this or I'll just see you tomorrow when I get back.” I hesitated. “Miss you. Bye.”

I punched off the phone and handed it back to her. “Thanks.”

She took it, checked the volume and set it on the desk. “You're welcome. He'll call back.”

I shrugged. “Maybe. But if he doesn't recognize the number, he might not even listen to the message.” I forced a smile. “It's fine. Really. I'll see him tomorrow.”

“You are an absolutely terrible liar,” Tana said. “And if it wasn't so late, I'd send you home now.”

I frowned. “Not leaving you.” I'd made a promise.

She rolled her eyes. “Please. I'm fine. I'll be fine. I can handle the camo twins.”

I tried not to sigh. Why hadn't she come to that conclusion a few hours ago? There might have been enough time for me to drive back home that night. I glanced quickly at her phone, noting the time. I couldn't leave now. I wouldn't get home until almost morning.

“Speaking of which,” I said. “Where are they?”

Tana held up a sticky note. “They are camping tonight. They won't be back. Probably going to kill their breakfast.”

I forced a smile. She really would have been alright without me that night.

Oh, well, I thought. I was in San Luis, not San Diego. And I would make the best of things.

“Thank God. Now we don't have to listen to his grunting all night.”

She crawled down off her bed onto the floor next to me. “Or listen to that bed squeak.”

“Or imagine what they look like naked.”

“
Or worry about the lights coming on accidentally and actually
seeing
them naked.”

We both laughed and for a moment, it felt like we were twelve again, spending the night at one of our homes, staying up all night and giggling over nothing. I was grateful to have a friend like her and I was probably going to miss her more than I even knew. And maybe I'd be making more trips up to see her than I thought. And right then, I was glad that I'd stayed through the weekend, glad that I'd been able to help out my best friend. She needed me.

But I couldn't shake the feelings of missing West.

Or that something was wrong.

THIRTY THREE

I slept with Tana's phone next to my head.

It never rang.

I was up early the next morning after a night of sleeping off and on. I'd sleep for awhile, wake up, check the phone, temper my disappointment, then fall asleep again. In a way, it was worse than listening to Athena and Gil.