It's Just Lola (54 page)

~ ~ ~

One day she came home from work and Sam came into the kitchen from the back door.  He was dirty and sweat was running down his face, but he was grinning.

“Come and look.”  He pulled her toward the door.  The entire back yard had been cleared of grass and there were neat furrows running from end to end.  There were two lines of tired looking plants, but the rest just looked like dirt.

“It’s too late to plant tomato seeds, but I got some plants from the nursery.  They may not give any fruit because it
’
s so late in the season, but they were cheap.  I planted spinach and cauliflower because they can grow this late.  We don’t get really cold weather here.  There’s more, but that’s the bulk of it.  Oh, I forgot to say there are onions by the door.”  He looked at her proudly.

“You did all this today?”

“Yep.  I figure if I can’t bring home a paycheck, we’ll need to cut down on grocery bills.  The fresh stuff is better anyway.  I was just sitting here after everybody left for school and work this morning, feeling sorry for myself.  I didn’t know what to do because all I know is cars.  Then I thought
of my Grandpa and realized that was nonsense
.  I grew up on a farm.  I know farming.
”  He sat up straight and grinned. 
“My Grandpa had a theory.  He said that bad stuff gets into people sometimes.  There’s some of it can be taken care of with a laxative, but if you can’t poop it out, you just have to sweat it out.  I decided to sweat today.”

That night Sam’s sleep was deep and undisturbed by dreams.  The next day he started looking for work.  It wasn
’
t as easy as he
’
d hoped.  Weeks grew into months.

~ ~ ~

Lola canvassed the secondhand stores and found a man’s beige overcoat that was perfect except for paint on one sleeve.  On her way out of the store, she saw a filthy doll tossed in a stack of rags.  Lola
bought
them
both
.  She made winter coats for Nellie and Harry with the man’s coat and removed the doll’s porcelain head from the filthy body.  She cleaned the head and painted new features on it.  She bought material and made a dress for Nellie and a new body and matching dress for the doll.  It was almost Christmas and she was planning ahead.

She drew a small train and designed a way to make the cars hook together.  Working after the children were asleep, Sam cut the wood and they assembled the pieces.  Lola made a
new
dress for Charlotte, patterned after the latest flapper designs.  Christmas was special that year because they were together.

In late January Lola
discovered
she was pregnant.  Why now?  Why did it have to happen when her pay was the only money coming into the house?  Her job depended on her looking stylish so the customers would trust her judgment.  Pregnant did not fit the image of stylish.  What would they do?

She considered going to one of those women the gypsies had told her about many years ago—women who would remove the child before it began to flutter or kick.  She thought about it for days, waking in the middle of the night to wrestle with her conscience.  She knew she had to make up her mind quickly.  Late one night she decided.  Silent tears flowed from her eyes as she decided to sacrifice the unborn child so those already born could eat.  She rose the next morning determined to take the afternoon off and go to the gypsies, but somehow the day passed and she had not summoned the courage to go ahead with her decision.  She retired early, pleading headache, only to lie awake and stare at the ceiling, listening as the house settled down for the night.

At last Sam came to bed.  She closed her eyes
feigning
sleep until Sam’s breathing became slow and even.  Lola watched his face,
serene
and trusting.  She loved him for his deep belief in peace and non-violence.  She was sure he
’
d think her a monster if he had any inkling of what she was about to do.  That realization brought her a wave of pain so piercing that she started sobbing, trying desperately not to make any noise.

Sam turned over in bed and pulled her close.  “I love you so much,” he whispered.  “I promise I
’
ll find some way to provide for you.  It
’
s not right that you work so hard.”  He brought his hand up to stroke her cheek and felt her tears.  “Don’t cry, Lola.  God will help us, have faith.
 
You rescued me from a lonely life and I
’
ll be grateful for all eternity.  Things
’
ll work out for us—I just know it.”

Lola caught her breath.  He
’
d never talked about God
or faith
before.  It must be a sign that she
made the wrong
decision.  Sam had been depressed by his lack of success in finding a job, but tonight he seemed confident.  She held him close and was comforted.

The next day Sam was waiting at the door when Lola came home from work.  He waved an envelope as she came up the walk.

“You got a letter from Ecuador,” he said.  Lola’s heart leaped.  Could it have been that easy?  Had
Juana persuaded him
?  She opened the envelope with shaking fingers.  Some bills fell into her hand as she unfolded the paper.  It took only a moment to read the short note.

Dear Lola,

Your stocks are going through the roof! 
Juana said you need some money. 
This is
the
dividend money that came in while we were away.

Your brother,

Charlie

The flare of hope faded into bleak despair.  She didn’t even have the energy to be angry. 

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked. 

“My stocks are going through the roof,” she quoted tonelessly.  She held out the bills. 

“Five hundred dollars
?
 
A
man work
s
month
s for tha
t.
  It’s almost spring, and I can plant again.  We ate well from my garden, even though I planted at the end of the season.  I’m bound to have a job before that.
 
Lola
, t
his is practically a king’s ransom.  You are wonderfully thrifty.  With your salary we can make this money last forever.”

“And without my salary?” Lola whispered.

“Why do you say that?” Sam sat down and took her hands in his
.  “You love your work, and you’
re really good at what you do.  What happened?  Why would she want to fire you?  Did you do something?”  His eyes were full of concern.

“No. 
I
didn’t do something—
we
did something.”

“I don’t understand.”

Lola looked into Sam’s gentle face and guileless brown eyes.  “Oh, Sam, I’m so sorry.  This isn’t the way you’re supposed to find out about this.  It should be a joyful thing, not something to give you more worries.”  Tears filled her eyes.

“What?”

She took one of his hands and placed it over her womb.  “We’re going to have a baby.”

“A baby?  That is the most wonderful thing in the entire universe.  Oh, God, how could life be any more wonderful than that?”  He
grabbed her hands
and
danced
a wild polka
around the room until she was laughing harder than he was.

Nellie and Harry came running to see what was happening.

“You’re going to have
a new
brother or sister
.
”  Sam
was exuberant
.

“Can I play with him?” asked Harry.

“Can I help take care of him?” asked Nellie.

“Will he wet himself like my friend Tom’s baby sister?” asked Harry.

“Will he cry a lot at night?” asked Nellie.

“Yes, yes, yes, and yes,” said Sam happily as he
led
Lola
to a chair
.

“Will I have to share my train?” asked Harry.

“Not for a long, long time, and if you don’t want to share it when he wants it—we’ll make him one of his own so you won’t have to share it at all.”  Satisfied, Harry went back to the other room to play.

Sam stared after Harry with a strange expression on his face.  He turned to Lola and grabbed her shoulders.

“I’m good with engines, right?”

“You
’
re a positive genius with engines,”
said
Lola with a smile.

“It was here all along, right under our noses and we missed it
.
”

“What?”

“Cars aren’t the only things with engines—trains have engines
.
”

The next day Sam came home smiling.  “You’re looking at the newest employee of the Union Pacific Railroad
.
”

That night, as they lay side by side in the dark, Lola asked Sam why he suddenly started talking about God and faith.  Had something happened to make him do that?

“Do you know that I love you?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“Even if I didn’t tell you so, would you know it?”

“Yes.”
 

“Would you think I loved you more if I said ‘I love you’ a hundred times a day?”

“It might be a little annoying,”
said
Lola
with a laugh
.

“Love is something you hold in your heart.  It isn’t something you have to talk about all the time.  Faith is the same.  Faith is love.”

“So why did you start talking about it?”

“Because my heart told me you needed it.”

That summer Lola found that she not only liked gardening, but she was good at it.  She learned to can vegetables so they would last through the winter.  At the end of August Lola went into labor.  The midwife came and almost immediately told Sam to take her to the hospital. 
It was a wild ride until they were pulled over by the police.  Then it was fast but not as wild with the policeman escorting them to the emergency entrance of the hospital.  Lola
’s terror was greater than her pain.  She knew she
might
bleed to death before the doctors could stop her hemorrhaging—and the baby
c
ould die as well.  At least the other children had someone to watch out for them now.  She had a final glimpse of Sam’s worried face as the orderlies rushed her stretcher into an operating room.

~ ~ ~

Lola heard distant voices.  She forced her eyes to open. 
A weak smile touched her lips as she saw Sam’s face with a dark stubble of beard.  “The baby.”  Her effort to talk came out as a bare whisper.

Sam grinned.  “A healthy boy.”  Lola smiled.

“I’m glad to see you awake.”  Lola tore her eyes away from Sam’s face to see the person
who spoke
.  It was the doctor.  It was hard for her to concentrate on his words, but the general meaning was clear.  She would live through this, but would probably never carry another child.

She smiled as she heard Sam’s answer. 
“As long as my wife
’s
all right, I’m happy
.
”

A month after she came home with Donald, she invited Juana and Charlotte over to celebrate the new arrival.  After dinner Juana insisted that she and Charlotte could clean up.  Lola sat with them in the kitchen. 

When the
dishes were
done, Juana handed Charlotte a towel to dry her hands.
 
“Why don’t you go out and help Sam with the young ones? 
Y
our mother and I need to talk.”  C
harlotte left and Juana
put a kettle of water on the stove before she
sat at the kitchen table with Lola. 
“I’m going back to Peru.  I’d like to take Charlotte with me.  I’ve grown very fond of her.
” 

“Before you make that decision, Juana, you need to know that I have a lawyer working on getting my stocks away from Charlie.  It could involve a lawsuit, maybe a public hearing—whatever it takes.
  I don’t want Charlotte caught up in any unpleasantness.”

“He said he sent you money.”

Lola’s voice quivered as she fought to stay calm.  “He sent a few hundred dollars.  After begging him for years to either sell or return the stocks, he sent a few hundred dollars.”  Lola clenched her hands
around her teacup
.  “
Y
ou’ve never been poor.  You can’t imagine how hard it is to hold two jobs, wake up after a few hours sleep
and
walk an hour to work just to save the bus fare.”  She
took
a swallow of tea.  “You
’
ve never been poor, but you are a mother. 
Can’t you
imagine how hard it is to give your children up to the nuns
?
”  She leaned forward and looked directly into Juana’s eyes.  “It was Charlie’s greed that made me give up my children
.  I will not suffer because of him again.”