It's Raining Benjamins (12 page)

We put Pucci's pet in his new cage. Then I hand Mr. Magoo the money for the hoglet. “I wonder if Mr. Pygmy can make noises, like ‘Oink, oink!'” I say. I smile at Mr. Magoo, but he doesn't smile back at me.

“No, I don't think he can squeal like that,” Bubbles says. Then she looks Mr. Magoo right in the face, and points her finger at him. “But I bet
this
one can!”

We hightail it out of that store, screaming with laughter, before Mr. Magoo fries
us
like
bacon
!

Chapter
11

I
t's a good thing I let Bubbles take Mr. Pygmy to her house, because the first “thing” I see when I open the door is nosy Pucci. The television is blaring from his bedroom, so I don't understand what my sneaky brother is doing in the foyer.

“Why are you out here?” I ask him.

“None of your business,” he snips. Then he says, “I wonder what Daddy got me for my birthday,” and runs back to his room, before I even have a chance to answer him.

I shake my head and laugh, because I realize that Pucci is probably so excited about his birthday tomorrow that he's already running to see who's at the door! I may have a sense of smell as keen as a dog's, but my brother has ears like a cat—he hears
everything
!

I debate whether I should tell Mom about the meeting at the record company, because I can hear that she is on the phone—probably talking to her boyfriend, Mr. Tycoon. He's probably in Paris, France—or anyway, in one of those places he lives.

Mom says he lives in Saudi Arabia, Paris,
and
Geneva, Switzerland. Places I've never been—but will get to see one day, now that I'm a Cheetah Girl. Bubbles says the Cheetah Girls are going to travel all over the world, until we're ready for the old cheetahs' retirement home.

I tiptoe into my bedroom and fall right into bed, hoping that I'll dream once again about the Benjamins falling from the sky. Or about all the fun the Cheetah Girls are going to have, recording songs with Mouse Almighty …

The next morning, I'm s-o-o nice and helpful to Mom while we get everything ready for Pucci's birthday celebration. Humming along, I open the refrigerator and touch the bottles of
cerveza
—that's beer—to see if they're cold enough. My dad likes his
cerveza muy frío
—and we made sure to get his favorite, Wild Willy beer. I take out a few of the big brown bottles, and plunk them down on the banquet table.

“You seem very chirpy today, Chanel,” Mom says, as she puts the big bowl of
fufu
—mashed yams—on the table.

“I'm happy it's Pucci's birthday,” I say, all bubbly.

“Remember—don't say anything to your
abuela
about my boyfriend,” Mom reminds me. “The last thing I need is for her blood pressure to go up because I'm not dating a Latin man.”

“Okay,
Mamí
,” I say, amused. I don't think Abuela
would
like Mom's boyfriend at all. He's
antipático
, if you ask me—not really friendly. But I guess I should just be grateful that any man would put up with Mom—because she can be a pain,
está bien
?

All of a sudden, I feel the “spookies” churning around in my stomach as a new thought occurs to me.
What if my father doesn't show up

No, he
has
to show up, I reassure myself. I hope Bubbles and
Madrina
don't get stuck in traffic either. I'd feel better if Bubbles was here.

Mom hands me the Dominican-style
arroz
con pollo
, and tells me to put it on the table. She puts the
sancocho
stew on the table herself, and tops it with slices of avocado.
Yum yum
!

“Pucci, you look cute!” I exclaim as he walks into the living room. He is wearing a red sweater and pants, his face is clean, and the curls on top of his head have been combed into place. I can tell he's really excited. Pucci sneaks over to the coffee table and starts rustling the wrapping paper on the big box that's sitting there.

“Cut it out, Pucci!” Mom yells from the kitchen. Pucci must get his keen sense of hearing from Mom, because she is the only person I know who has bigger ears than he does—
or
is more nosy!

When the doorbell rings, both Pucci and I run to answer it.

“I got it!” he hisses, so I stop short and let him open the door. It's his birthday.

“Hi, Pucci, darling!”
Madrina
says excitedly with outstretched arms. She grabs Pucci and gives him a big bear hug. Bubbles is right behind her, and she is holding a big cardboard box. I should have known these two would have a hideaway plan!

“What's that? Is it my present?” Pucci asks excitedly.

“Never mind, Mr. Cuckoo Cougar,” Bubbles says jokingly, then puts down the box where it will be safely out of the way until it's time to open it.

“Bubbles, I have a joke for you!” Pucci says excitedly.

“Oh, I don't know, Pucci—your jokes aren't even fit for the ears of the wildest animals in the jiggy jungle,”
Madrina
says hesitantly.

“Pucci!” Mom yells out.

“No, Auntie Dottie, this is a
good
one,” Pucci says with a mischievous grin. Pucci calls
Madrina
“Auntie Dottie,” even though she isn't really his aunt. (
Madrina
wanted to be Pucci's godmother as well as mine, but Dad let his sister, Aunt Lulu, be Pucci's godmother instead. Aunt Lulu lives in Miami, with three Chihuahuas—so of course, Mom never likes to visit her.)

“Okay, Pucci, let's hear the joke,” Bubbles says, amused. I think she's trying to distract him from the box, 'cuz his eyes keep straying over in that direction.

“Okay Why is it so hard to hide a cheetah like you?” he says.

“I don't know, Pucci … because I have a big mouth?” Bubbles responds.

“No! Because you're always
spotted
!” Pucci says proudly.

“Whew, that was a good one, Pucci, I must say,”
Madrina
says, relieved. She sits down on the couch, takes off her big leopard hat, and hands it to me.
Madrina
hates it when her hat gets crushed, so I always put it in the closet until she leaves. That way, no one sits on it by mistake.

The doorbell rings again—but now I'm not worried about Pucci seeing his present, so I let him answer it.

“
Papí
!”

Gracias gooseness
, my father is here! I close my eyes for a second, and ask God not to let my mom and dad fight today. Then I take a really deep breath and run to the door.

“Hi, Abuela!” I say loudly—because Abuela is hard-of-hearing. Abuela reaches up, with her walking cane in her hand, and gives me a hug.

I look up at my father and smile. He isn't really that tall, but next to my tiny
abuela
, he looks like a giant. Obviously, I take after Abuela, because I'm short, too.

Daddy hands Pucci a present, and I can tell Pucci is already sizing it up. My eyes are just as good as his, and from the shape of the present, I'd say it looks like a book.

I can't wait to tell my dad all about the Cheetah Girls' trip to Los Angeles, and big meeting with Def Duck Records! When we sit down, my dad's eyes are twinkling as I tell him
every
detail. Pucci squeezes in between him and Bubbles on the couch, and just looks on happily, listening.

“Who was that guy you were talking to after the showcase at the Tinkerbell Lounge, Chuchie?” Bubbles asks me, amused.

Why would Bubbles bring that up now
—
in front of my parents, no less
?

“What guy?” I ask, playing innocent.

“The guy in the shiny suit and shades,” Bubbles quips. “You remember …”

“Oh, that guy! He was a vice president for Def Duck—I think he said in the publicity department or something. I can't remember, Bubbles,
está bien
?”

“Well, I'll bet he remembers you, Miss Chanel. As a matter of fact, everybody will, because they sure were giving you all the attention,” Bubbles says, giggling.

Oh, I get it
. Bubbles is trying to make me look important in front of Daddy!

“I don't think so, Bubbles—they were paying attention to
all
of us,” I reply.

“What's this I hear about you flirting with some man, Chanel?” Mom yells from the dining room. “I hope you didn't go to Los Angeles and lose your mind!”

“No,
Mamí
, I didn't,” I say sheepishly.

Abuela is sitting across from me, and she just smiles. I don't think she really heard anything we said.
Gracias gooseness
!

“Juanita, you
knew
we were
all
working it,”
Madrina
says, coming to my defense. “He
was
a tasty-looking morsel though, right, Chanel?”

What did
Madrina
have to say
that
for?!

All of a sudden, Mom snaps at
Madrina
, “If you're
that
hungry, Dottie, maybe you'd better eat something.”

You can hear the
silencio
. Why does Mom have to pick on
Madrina
now? And why did
Madrina
have to start with her?

See, Mom and
Madrina
used to be models and everything, and they were both really skinny. Mom is still skinny, because she never eats anything and exercises all the time. She is always picking on
Madrina
for getting, you know,
más grande
.

“Juanita, this isn't a restaurant, so rest assured I
will
serve myself—when everyone else eats,”
Madrina
snips back at Mom, giving her that scary look that makes men run away on the street.
Por favor, Díos
, please—don't let
Madrina
hit Mom with her cheetah pocketbook!

Luckily, Dad comes to the rescue. “So—they gave you girls a record deal?”

“No,
Papí
, not exactly—well, I mean, no,” I explain, stammering.

“Uncle Dodo, what Chanel means is, they're paying for us to record a few songs for a demo tape, then they'll see if they like the songs enough to give us a test single,” Bubbles explains proudly. “And if
that
goes over well,
then
we get a record deal.”

“Oh. I see.”

Abuela beams at me, so I jump up and I run over to hug her. “Cristalle,” she says, her eyes twinkling. Since last year, Abuela calls me by my confirmation name—which I like.
Me gusta Cristalle
!

“Let's eat!” I exclaim, jumping up to get everyone plates and stuff.

“Is there chicken in the
sancocho
?” Abuela asks Mom, while she spoons some onto her plate. The two of them are rival cooks—and the truth is, Abuela
does
cook better than Mom!

“No, I made it with just beef and pork this time,” Mom says hesitantly.

“
Está bueno
,” Abuela says. Whew! Now we can all breathe easier. If Abuela is happy with the food, then we're
all
happy!

I want to tell Dad that I saw Princess Pamela, but I realize he probably already knows that. Besides, Pucci is keeping him busy—he's so happy Dad is here.

After dinner, Mom goes to the kitchen, and motions for me to follow. That means it's time for Pucci's cake! We light the ten candles on top, and Mom brings it into the living room. I'm right behind her, singing, “Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday, dear Pucci … how old are you?”

We all join in and sing along, and Pucci finally blows out his candles. Now comes Pucci's favorite part: opening the presents! I'm glad, too, because I'm getting a new pet! Well, Pucci's getting it—but I know who's gonna be taking care of it, and it's not gonna be Mom!

Pucci excitedly tears the wrapping paper off the box by the coffee table, opening his birthday present from Mom. “A new computer game—aren't you lucky!” I exclaim.

It's a great present, true—but I still can't believe she didn't get him a dog, after she promised she would. That's Mom for you.

“Mom, this is really cool!” Pucci says, giving her a big hug.

Mom looks at me over Pucci's shoulder, and I can tell she's thinking, “See? I didn't give him a dog and he's still happy, you troublemaker!”

Next, Pucci opens Abuela's present. It's a beautiful yellow and black sweater. She proudly tells him she knitted it herself, just for him.

“Thank you, Abuela,” Pucci says, running over and hugging her.

Abuela urges Pucci to try it on, to make sure it fits. “My eyes aren't so reliable anymore, and you grow so fast,” she says, smiling.

Pucci takes off his red sweater, and puts on his new one. “It fits!” he says proudly, warming Abuela's heart.

It's obvious that Pucci is saving Dad's present for last, because he opens
Madrina's
next.
Madrina
has made Pucci a beautiful burgundy velvet suit.

“Oooh, Pucci, you are definitely the man!” Bubbles says excitedly.

“Thank you, Auntie Dottie,” Pucci says, hugging
Madrina
.

“Make sure you wear that suit when you take your girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant.”
Madrina
is always joking with Pucci about having a girlfriend. Pucci goes along with it, even though I know he
hates
girls—especially
me
.

“I will,” he says, smiling and winking. He's so cute sometimes—even if he is a pain the rest of the time.

Bubbles goes and gets the cardboard carton, then sets it down in the middle of the floor. “Pucci,” she says, “this present is from me and Chanel.”

Pucci looks over at me and gives me a smile, even though I know he doesn't want to. Bubbles tries to help him open the box, but he insists on doing it himself.