It’s Still Complicated: …because I Am Still Waiting (3 page)

“I’ll be there at 11 am,”

I got up, and got ready before everybody else at home woke up. Mami was surprised to see me ready and asked me whether I had any tuition that day. I told her that I had a very important class and had to leave without taking my breakfast and I left home quickly. While travelling to Pitampura on the Metro, my mind had several questions, like:

What if she is a fat looking girl? What if she blinks repeatedly? Or…

Stop! I said to my mind, she is my friend, I like her, and I would accept her for whatever she is.

I reached Pitampura Metro station and waited for her, it was just 10:30 am, and I called her and asked where she was?

She said she was at Kohat Enclave Metro station, and by mistake she told me to come to Pitampura Metro station. I had to take a token again to reach Kohat and wait for some more time to meet her. I got very much excited; I ran towards the counter and took the token for Kohat. I don’t know what happened to me that I was running like someone has left his dog behind me. I was running toward the first coach of the metro because this coach will first enter the Kohat Metro Station. I boarded the metro and as soon as I reached Kohat I called her to ask where she was. She said she was at Gate no.3 waiting for me and I went running towards gate no. 3. But as soon as I reached to the stairs I was very nervous. Time had stopped by now, everything has slowed down, sunrays were directly falling on my face like a spotlight falls on a performer during his performance, disallowing me to see her from upstairs. I saw two girls standing downstairs and looking at me. I went downstairs slowly wondering - is this Megha and is that Sakshi? If yes, what’s going on in their heads, looking at me? I got more conscious at every step going towards them. I took my cell phone out to confirm that this is Megha and she waved her hand to tell me that there is no need to call, it was her.

I was now standing right in front of her, she was looking dazzling in her black top and blue slim fit jeans, and she has untied long black and silky hair which I dreamt about. She had a beautiful smile which could win thousands of hearts in a second and no one could ever get tired looking at her. Her figure could give competition to any of the actresses in Bollywood. She was a perfect match for any of the guys looking out for a decent, simple and innocent looking girl. Her face reflected her cuteness and simplicity of nature. I was lost looking into her eyes that I couldn’t even give a look towards Sakshi.

Before I could gather some confidence and utter a word she said “Hi! I am Megha and this is Sakshi!”

“Hi!”

“Sorry! I thought this is Pitampura Metro Station… sorry to keep you waiting there at Pitampura,”

“No worries, after all I have reached and we are here. By the way you have reached before time and I thought I would have to wait for you people to come,”

“Umm, this is the first time where I have reached before time otherwise I am always late,” She said laughing. “Ohk! So, I will have to wait if I had to meet you again in future,” I smiled.

“Maybe”, she said; “Anyways we have to leave now as we have to go to the market and buy some stuff for us; will see you some other day,”

“Bye,” I said.

“Don’t say bye, say see ya. I don’t like the word ‘Bye’. When we say bye, we don’t know when we will meet next, but if we say see you, it means we are meeting very soon!”

“See ya! I said.

She went off, even as my eyes followed her.

I didn’t want her to go, even though I had just met her. I felt like I should take her home and keep looking at her till the end of this world, I felt like she was the only one for me; the one I had dreamt about, my dream girl. I had heard someone say “When you are with your loved one, time runs so fast that you don’t even recognize it, but when she is away from you the time goes so slowly that every minute is like an hour…” This was the time when I fell in love with her deeply.

I went to the institute to attend the classes, but I don’t remember if I studied anything that day. Everyone was busy looking at me doing awkward things, like smiling again and again, putting the pen on the desk and suddenly start writing something, looking at phone and reading her messages over and again, the teacher did not bother looking at me as she dint wanted the class to get disturbed. I went home and I was a completely different CK by now. I was going to the PC switching it on, then off, then walking in hall, again going to the PC and again switching it on and off. I became restless, I dint even remember that I haven’t had food since the morning and it was 9 pm in the night. I waited eagerly for Ravi to come. He came and I explained everything to him. He made me realize that I was in love and he was damn surprised to see me like this.

I went to bed and I messaged her that I wanted to meet her again, I don’t know what was going on in her mind, but she said ok, and that she would plan to meet me very soon. She explained that she was a bit tired today because of the shopping and would talk to me tomorrow.

“See you,” she said. “See you!” I replied.

The next day we dint talk as we both were busy with our classes, but I called her in the evening.

“Hey! I wanted to ask you a question since we met, how do I look to you?” I asked her.

“Hi! You look okay! No so smart but better than any average guy, and blow what I expected you to look like,”

I had mixed emotions hearing this but still said to her “Okay.”.

She asked me the same question and also asked me “How was Sakshi?”

“You looked damn impressive” I told her, “you were above expectations, if I had to tell you what you look like, I would write a poem.”

“Seriously?” she asked, “Do you write poems?” “Yes, I do sometimes when I am in a very good or very bad mood, it depends,”

“Okay! Nice, by the way what about Sakshi?”

“I dint pay much attention to her, she looked pretty but I was lost in your eyes…,” I smiled.

“She looks better than me, she is…”

“Umm… you look better than her if you ask me and I am happy to have you as a friend,” I said to her.

I could feel the smile on her face.

“Listen!”, she interrupted our conversation suddenly. “I have to go to school tomorrow, so see you. Good Night,”

“Good Night.”

12th February, 2009 (The Proposal)

It was a regular day, we both had our classes and were busy with our respective schedules, so I waited till the evening to call her. I called, but she dint picked up the phone. I was wondering why she dint pick up the call. Luckily, I got a call from her very soon.

“Hey! Sorry I was busy with some household stuff with my mom; I saw your call when I got free so we can talk now,”

“Hi! If you don’t mind I want you to just listen to me for a while and leave everything you are doing right now…”

“Why? Is everything okay?” she asked me in a surprised tone.

“Yes it is, but I never knew I was going to feel this way. I’m not sure how to do it, but I have to tell you what’s on my mind so here goes…”

“What happened? What do you want to say?” “Megha – Since we met I am not able to walk straight on the road, my eyes keep searching you everywhere. My dreams have nothing in them except your smiling face; in every text book it’s you, I go blank while studying in class, everyone says I am lost, but I think I have found myself in you. I am lost in your eyes as if they have hypnotized me, I don’t even bother about what everyone thinks of me, I’ll sleep without having food but will not be able to sleep without talking to you. Every second without you is like an hour for me, if god would have given me a chance to redeem my million good works against the one thing which I want in my life, I would only ask for you. What I am trying to say is
I Love You
and I live for you sweetheart, will you be my Life forever?”

There was a complete silence from both sides… I was afraid of losing her, thousands of questions started running in my mind… I guess it was too early to propose to her, but I didn’t know what was happening on the other side… After a long pause she said…

“Look, you are such a true and decent guy, every other girl on this planet would never say no, as you are worth loving. But my family has different thoughts; they are orthodox and they would never allow me to have a love marriage. I don’t have enough courage to tell them about you, believe me they would not like it even if they saw me talking to you. You don’t know them they are very strict and will never let it happen. I am sorry, I can’t say yes…”

Suddenly it seemed like everything in my life had fallen apart. I felt like the blood had stopped running in my vessels, that the heart was not pumping and had stopped beating, the silence was killing me. It was a feeling which broke me from inside. I felt so weak that I was not able to hold my phone. Somehow I gathered the courage to speak and could utter the next few words…

“
I Love You
and will always do, I’ll become everything which your father wants me to. I’ll try everything to convince your family, if you are not able to tell them I’ll tell them that we love each other and will find out a better way to make it an arranged marriage somehow. Please say yes… please…

“Sorry I can’t,” and she hung up the phone.

I was sad, I told Ravi about it, he somehow tried to make me smile but I couldn’t smile. He knew where I was and what I was feeling but he didn’t have any choice, and neither did I. I spent the whole night crying and thinking about her. I felt like maybe she would never talk to me after this. It was as if I had lost my control of all the senses, I felt like I was sleeping on a death bed having a lot to say but I dint have anyone to hear it. I was feeling like I am lost in a cage having mirrors everywhere and don’t have any escape from it. I couldn’t hold my tears but after a while my eyes got tired of taking out the water from them.

13th February, 2009

Ravi woke me up; he was very worried and asked me to repeat the whole conversation which I had with Megha last night. I repeated every word as it is, like a tape recorder. He came to a conclusion after listening to the conversation, he said to me – “Look bro, she loves you. All you need to do is make her emotional and fall for you and that job is mine now…”

He took my phone and sent a message to Megha. “Hi! This is Ravi, his cousin. He couldn’t sleep the

whole night, he cried a lot He loves you so much that

while thinking about you he burnt one of his fingers while boiling the milk in kitchen. He seriously loves you and I don’t know why, but he is mad on you…”

14th February, 2009 (The Valentine’s Day)

She called me up in the evening, “Hey!”

“Hi!”

“I am sorry to hurt you, I just called you to say, that… that…
I Love You,”

“I was just worried that I would lose you, but sorry I don’t love you…” I said rudely and I disconnected the call.

Surprised?? Why did I do this?? and that too on Valentine’s Day.

There were two reasons behind it.

One, I wanted to see that if she was also dying for me. Second, I wanted to propose to her and to hear a ‘Yes’ from her side. I mean a guy always like to propose and a girl accepts it, right…

I know it sounds silly but above all I wanted her to wait for me, after all
Love
gets intensified in the absence or wait of someone.

16th February, 2009 (The Final Proposal)

It’s been 2 days since we talked to each other, I was wondering why there was no call from her side for the last 2 days. I had few questions in my mind…

Was she angry with me?

Maybe she didn’t want to talk to me because she thinks I have broken her heart by refusing her proposal?

She might be sad and crying because I hurt her. This was also possible, right?

Maybe she was dying to talk to me, but she wants me to call her first?

I couldn’t resist myself from calling her; I was dying to listen to her voice and after all so I gave up and I called her

“Hey!”

“Hi!”

“I am Sorry.” “It’s ok…”

“Look, I dint say Yes because I wanted you to feel how much you love me and I wanted you to know how much you can get hurt when you hear a ‘No’… I tried to be funny at the wrong time… But like I said
I Love You
!”

She said “I Love You too!”

I felt like I was bent on my knees in front of her and giving her a red rose; I imagined that she was smiling and accepted my rose speaking those 3 magical words which I was dying to hear. I was lost somewhere and a tear of happiness touched my cheeks. I then requested her to meet me as I was dying to see her again and wanted to get lost in her deep, innocent eyes.

She promised me that she would soon make a plan to meet but suddenly she was silent now.

I couldn’t understand her silence and I asked, “What happened?”

“Nothing,” she said.

“Are you not happy with this?” “Yes I am, it’s just…”

“It’s just??”

“I burnt my hand the other day because you were hurt, and it’s paining…”

“Did you apply medicine on it?” “Yes, I did.”

Okay! I want you to promise me one thing today…” “What?”

“You will never hurt yourself hereafter, and you will always take care of yourself. Promise???”

“Promise,”

Okay, now go and take some rest, we will talk tomorrow, Good Night. I Love you…”

“Love you too.”

I had mixed emotions this time; on the one hand I was happy that she had accepted the proposal and that she cares for me so much that she hurt herself when I was hurt, and on the other hand I was sad that because of me she hurt herself and I never wanted her to get hurt.

Finally, we both were a couple now and I know that we were going to be in a lifelong relationship together which I would never allow to end. My happiness had no end; I was feeling like I had just won the world cup. I was excited to tell Ravi about this, I shared this with him as soon as he reached home and he was very happy to see me smile. That night I was listening to the melodious songs of Aatif Aslam, my all time favorite on FM.

one to one

17th February, 2009