Jaded (29 page)

I didn’t wait for a nod of permission. I shoved my way through the crowd and stopped short at the surreal emptiness of the lounge that lay just beyond four opened doors. In the corner, tucked away behind the coat-racks, couches, chairs, and coffee tables was a girl with spiked hair. She looked like a peacock.

I remembered and approached her. Her head was downcast, studying her lap, and she seemed to shrink in size as I sat in a chair next to her.

She looked up after a moment and I saw the same injustice that raged inside of me. She had startling blue eyes, but she looked away again.

“You can just leave,” she bit out.

“You were friends with Leisha. I remember seeing you at her table once.”

She whipped up and snarled, “It was my table and Leisha
is
my friend…she’s just gone right now.”

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“Don’t tell me your name is Cassandra Bens.” I remembered that Carlos had had a thing for her.

“God, no!” She blinked, startled, and in disgust. “I’m Bailey, Leisha’s best friend.”

“I’m—”

“I know who you are,” she said quickly. “Leisha worshiped you.”

“I know,” I said faintly.

I caught movement at the doorway and looked up to see Bryce standing in the

doorway. He met my gaze and turned to lean against the doorframe as he watched the vigil inside.

Bailey looked over too and shook her head, “He’s really gorgeous, isn’t he?”

“He’s an ass.” I smiled faintly.

“Yeah.” Bailey laughed dryly. “Only you can say that because he’s yours.”

I frowned, but didn’t correct her. “I liked Leisha,” I said instead.

“I know. Me too,” Bailey whispered hoarsely.

“I’m really sorry.”

“Why? Leisha was the one who went to the party. She was the one who walked

down the block.”

I frowned and asked, sharply, “What?”

Bailey looked up. Blank.

“What do you mean—she walked down the block?”

“She was at my house that night. Carlos called her and she wanted to go. He said that you invited her. I live two blocks from Evans’ house. He’s a dipshit.”

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“I thought—I thought she was walking in the park because that was the straightest way from her house.”

“Hell, no. Leisha’s not stupid. She would never have walked in that park alone.

Someone who’s high might go there at night or if they want to get murdered and raped.”

I was stunned. And speechless.

“I told her not to go. I thought it was stupid. She liked Carlos so much. I thought she was stupid for liking you too and I really thought she was stupid when she skipped with you and Mr. Gorgeous.” Bailey shook her head as a haunted grin flitted over her features, “Leisha was so stupid sometimes, but…she said that you weren’t what everyone said you were. I guess she was right after all.”

“I liked her,” I said again, faintly.

“I can’t stand this mockery. I bet a third of those people in there are actually feeling sad. The rest, they’re just there so everyone will see them there. I hate it. Leisha wouldn’t have cared and that’s so sad. She wouldn’t care that they’re just using her.

She’d say something moronic like ‘at least they’re praying for a good cause.’” Bailey broke off and laughed bitterly. A few tears streaked down her face and she wiped them away.

“I gotta go,” she said abruptly and sped down the stairs.

I didn’t move. Bryce came and sat in her vacated seat.

He leaned back and neither of us said a word.

We sat and stared at nothing.

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Bryce and I left as the last prayer started. We wanted to beat the crowd and after Bryce dipped inside to tell Corrigan the plan, neither of us said a word when he came back with Luca in tow.

The three of us trailed to Bryce’s car and Luca sat in the back. Silently, Bryce drove to his house. He didn’t look my way, but disappeared inside with Luca for a moment. Bryce came back out with a bag slung over his shoulder and he reversed the car out of his driveway.

My house was doused in black while Mena’s was white with movement, music,

and dancing lights. They were having a party. It was surreal considering what we’d just left.

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I walked around the garage for a better view. Bryce rounded the garage and stood beside me. He watched for a moment and murmured, “Those people seem pretty glitzy.”

“Yeah. I don’t think Mena’s parents are there.”

“Big bro is having a party.” Bryce nodded with no reaction and moved around to the back door.

He knelt, found the hidden key, and unlocked the house.

It was a little startling how ingrained Bryce had become with my life.

.

Once inside, I said, “You can’t leave.”

He stiffened and slowly put his bag on the ground before he turned to me. “We’re not going to hash that out right now.”

“Why not? This is as good a time as any. No one’s here. And you’re already

pissed at me.”

“Pissed,” Bryce bit out. “That’s what I am? That’s why I held your hand and sat next to you at that prayer thing? That’s why I’m here right now?”

“No.” I was blind as I spewed out, “You lo—”

I stopped as the words choked in my throat. My eyes went round and I blanched as I took in the furious keenness that had overtaken my best friend as he heard me and heard the words stop. He stepped closer.

He asked softly, lethal, “What were you going to say?”

I readied myself. A fight was brewing.

Bryce finished it as a gentle fury swirled in him, “I love you. That’s what you were going to say.”

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I looked away and started to walk, but Bryce gripped my arm and whipped me

back. “You don’t walk from this. You started it. We’re going to finish it.”

“I—” I started, but my doorbell rang and the words shriveled and died.

Bryce cursed and I shoved past him to walk the entire household’s length to the front door.

I glanced through the living room windows and gulped as I saw who stood there.

Bryce still waited in the back doorway, so I moved around and opened the front door.

Denton stood and I saw the movie star that caused everyone to pant. He wore a crisp white buttoned-down shirt over a pair of just-as-crisp black leather pants.

Denton grimaced and laughed as he saw my perusal.

“Sorry. It’s my get-up for the…” He waved in the direction of his home. “It’s the crowd that I’m entertaining over there. The Hollywood crowd doesn’t do jeans and tee shirts.”

I leaned against the door and remarked, “I recall Mena wearing a shocking leather outfit today.”

“Yeah,” Denton rolled his eyes and rubbed a hand over his jaw. “She…she’s been a bit out of hand lately. I think she got it from Kari.”

“So what are you celebrating tonight?” Let’s swap evening stories. I’ve just been to a vigil for my murdered friend.

Denton seemed to choose his words carefully, but he said, “I’m trying to make it up to Kari for our argument last night.”

“Yeah.” I raised my eyebrows and taunted, “How’s that going?”

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Denton smiled softly, seductively, and stepped closer. “Mena told me about your friend. I’m sorry. I saw your car pull in and wanted to offer my condolences.” He reached out and trailed a finger down my arm to my hand and threaded our fingers together.

I didn’t move, but I just watched.

I felt Bryce move around the corner. No sound. No reaction. Nothing, but I just felt him. I looked over my shoulder and stared into his cold eyes.

Denton didn’t notice him right away and murmured, “I was wondering if I could offer my condolences right now? Maybe in a bed this time?”

Bryce jerked awake and strode to us.

Denton looked up, startled, and was quickly pushed out the door. Bryce slammed the door shut and locked it.

He stood and breathed. His chest jerked up and down with each raging breath and then he hauled me against him and slammed his mouth down on mine. He ground into me and I whimpered once as pain and lust slammed full force into me.

I literally crawled up him and wrapped my legs around him.

Bryce clamped his hands around my legs and pawed where I knew bruises would

appear within the hour. He turned and slammed me into the wall as he reached up and ripped my shirt into pieces. Different pieces hung off me. One wrapped around my wrist.

Another hung from my naked waist. And one strand was still wrapped around my neck as it hung down my back.

Bryce took my weight as he walked up the stairs and to my room. He threw me on the bed and pinned me down with his body as he unzipped my pants and flung them off.

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I screamed in my throat from the force and anger that rolled off him, but I also screamed because I felt it and needed it. I needed him in that moment.

Bryce scooped me up and flipped me on my stomach. I heard a condom rip open

and a second later, after he spread my legs wide, Bryce shoved inside of me. I felt him gasp just above my ear as his chest rubbed against my back.

I whimpered as I pressed my face into the blankets. I’d never felt anything like this before.

He shoved deeper and I felt myself stretch to take the full length. One hand held my arms pinned above my head. The other snuck underneath my body and grasped my breast. He rolled the hardened nipple in his fingers as I panted. I bucked underneath him, needing more. Bryce let my arms free as he moved to wrap my legs around his waist and he pistoned into me.

I twisted my neck, in search for him, and Bryce found me with his lips. He

demanded entry and I gave it, gladly. After a short battle of the tongues, Bryce let go, clamped one hand to the bed’s headboard and another at my hip. He held me still as he levered himself up and down over me.

I could only lay there, gasping, as the onslaught of pleasure crashed over me.

The thrusts increased in tempo and both of us were gasping for release as Bryce exploded over me.

I was just behind and my body quivered as he fell onto me with his full weight.

Neither of us moved. We laid there and focused on getting our breath back.

Finally, I asked, hoarse, “Was that supposed to be punishment?”

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Bryce sighed wearily and rolled off of me. He moved on his back and threw a

blanket over both of us.

I propped myself up, on an elbow, and asked as I stared at him, “What was that?”

“You came.”

“Bryce,” I snapped and overpowered him this time. I straddled him and glared.

“What was that?”

He laughed bitterly, “The epitome of a dysfunctional and unhealthy relationship?”

“Are you smug about this?” I asked, incredulous.

“What do you want, Sheldon?” Bryce shoved me off. “I love you. You’re about to say it and that movie star slut shows up.”

“What do you want from me?” I snapped and shouted. I scrambled to my feet and flung a sheet over my naked body, but I stood and I demanded an answer. “What do you want from me?”

Bryce watched me intently from the bed. “What do you think?” he shouted back.

“I don’t know,” I grated out. “I don’t know…okay? I want you, but…”

“But what?” Bryce scrambled to his feet now. He towered over me and I felt his body heat radiate off his skin.

“I…how can I want to—all the girls, Bryce! All the girls that you just screw.”

“I don’t screw ‘em!” he cried back, frustrated. “I just…I don’t push ‘em away and why should I? It’s not as if I have a relationship to push them away for. I’m not going to hand over my balls just to feel the breeze in a different way.”

I choked in outrage.

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Bryce said further, “I have told you. Others have told you. You know how I feel, Sheldon, and you don’t do a goddamn thing. Are you that deluded?”

“You’re leaving!” I shouted. “You’re leaving me for professional soccer.”

“No.” Bryce shook his head, fierce. “You didn’t find that out until today. That doesn’t count. Stop playing games!”

“I’m not!” I got in his face.

“That’s all you do!” He got in mine.

“My god—” I laughed, darkly, and shook my head as I stepped back. “I can’t

believe this. We just…you just screwed me, literally, and we’re trying to tear each other apart. This isn’t…this isn’t right.”

Bryce sucked in his breath and retreated. He raked his hands through his Mohawk and sat on the edge of the bed as the sheets covered his slim hips. Even there, even with the hatefully-charged words and recriminations, even with all of that—I wanted him. I wanted him deep and I wanted him forever.

“What do you want from me?” I asked, softly, and my voice echoed in the

screaming wake.

Bryce drew a ragged breath in and said quietly, “Maybe the question is what you want from me?” He pinned me with his eyes and added, “I love you. I’m here. We’ll have sex until the house falls down…what do you want, Sheldon? You don’t want me gone. Is it—can you just not be vulnerable? Is it the trust thing? I’ve seen you naked in a shower.

I’ve seen you pretty goddamn vulnerable.”

“That’s not vulnerable,” I said faintly, surprised at my words.

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“Yes, it is.” Bryce stood up again and advanced on me. “I know you inside and out, Sheldon. I just…I want you to say it, once. I want you to finally break down your pride and admit that you need me. I know you do. Not Corrigan. Not even your parents.

You need me and I need you. And I need you to just tell me, once.”

“I

want

you.”

“That’s not what I want and you know it. Stop the games!” he retorted swiftly.

Backed into a corner, I snarled back, “Stop it!”

Bryce caught my hands and pinned them above me. He leaned close and

whispered against my skin, “Just say it, Sheldon.” He kissed underneath my ear and I gasped.