Jaded (26 page)

It wasn’t my fault.

Corrigan shifted away and remarked, “Um…about that…Miss Connors said that

we were supposed to make an appointment in three days or something, but she’s booked so…”

“What?”

“I signed up for her first available slot and it’s…”

“Right now,” I finished for him, numb.

He laughed nervously and watched me. He even scooted away from me.

“I have to go and see a counselor like this,” I said flatly.

“Well…” Corrigan shrugged.

“Fine. Let’s do this.” And just as abruptly, I was up and through the door. I didn’t care what my face looked like, if they could see the tears or not—I wanted this hour done and over with.

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Bryce was already in the office, leaning in the same spot, but unlike the last time, he didn’t straighten when we walked inside.

He ignored us.

Mena sat beside him, her face closed to everyone else.

When we traipsed in, Miss Connors looked us over and announced, “Well…is

there special significance that Corrigan is in the middle this time and Sheldon isn’t?”

Corrigan didn’t say anything. Neither did I.

Bryce shrugged and commented as he looked out the window, “No significance.”

Her eyes looked us over again and studied each one before she harrumphed and leaned back in her chair.

“You know,” she spoke flatly. “If I’d judge from our last session, I’d think that this was another dog and pony show for me. So…is it? I come down on you guys about protecting Sheldon, so you put Corrigan in the middle this time? Is it going to be you, Bryce, next time?”

Bryce failed to react and Miss Connors’ eyes sparked at that.

She asked, sharply, “Sheldon…I was told that you skipped every class yesterday.

Did you?”

“No,” I murmured and looked at the door.

“Really? Because I have the attendance sheets.”

“I didn’t. I went to first period.”

“Right.” She sighed and asked, “So how about you, Bryce? You were missing all day yesterday. Where were you?”

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He laughed, chokingly, and shook his head. Our eyes met briefly and we both

looked away.

He’d been inside of me. And then someone else had taken his place.

“Fine,” Miss Connors took another deep breath. “Someone wanna clue me in on

the very large, very white, invisible elephant that’s in this room?”

Crickets chirped.

“Alright. No one wants to tell me. I’m not going to ream you out like yesterday.”

She sighed and reached for a book. “How about today we’ll just read a story. You guys can sit and listen. It’s probably appropriate and if you don’t pass my quiz at the end, I’m going to require daily sessions.”

“What?”

Corrigan

asked.

“Ah!” Miss Connors smiled. “And the middle-man speaks. Now, story time so sit and listen, little children.”

She opened the book and sighed as she sat straight, “So there was once a little girl fish, named Spooky, who loved to swim, but she’d never been taught to swim. And there was this frog named Harry Green. He liked to chirp to the friendly pond that he called home.” Miss Connors paused dramatically…

“Are you serious?” Bryce asked, annoyed.

She looked at him with chilled eyes. “No. Talk time was earlier. This is story time. So zip it.”

He opened his mouth again—

“Zip it,” she cut him off. “And if you’re going to complain again—whip it!”

Corrigan

laughed.

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“Mr. Raimler,” Miss Connors chastised.

“Why am I Sheldon? Corrigan is Mr. Raimler? And Bryce is Bryce Scout?”

“Can you three please make up your minds? I’m not a puppet for you to string along. If you want to talk, let’s hear what the white elephant is and if you don’t—you’re going to listen to my stories.”

“Your stories?” Corrigan asked, eyebrows arched.

“Elephant or story. Your choice.” She raised her own eyebrows to match his.

“Story,” Bryce said automatically.

“Elephant,” Corrigan voted.

“I had sex with Denton Steele,” I named the elephant and startled myself.

Without missing a beat, Miss Connors remarked, “Well, that makes sense.” She was serious.

Everyone looked at her, puzzled.

She sighed and said, “You found someone you knew and considered a friend

dead. You’re normally cut-off, Sheldon, but quite a bit’s been going on. You realized how truly crappy your parents are. You found someone murdered. You’re getting threatening letters. And…I got a phone call from your father. He said your mother came home yesterday. I’d say for someone who usually flies under the radar, emotionally-speaking anyway…you needed a different avenue to avoid everything that’s been going on. Sex with someone you don’t love—that makes sense.”

Sex with someone you don’t love. Those words echoed in me.

She continued, “And I’ve seen his latest movie.” She whistled, “Hot stuff.”

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Bryce asked as he stretched his legs out, “What do you mean? Sex with someone she doesn’t love?”

“Ah!” Miss Connors grinned coolly and replied, nonplussed, “That’s what you

heard out of that whole speech.” She nodded my way and said, “I bet she’s thinking the same thing.”

Corrigan

laughed.

Miss Connors ignored him and looked at me, “Because you do love him, Sheldon.

And guess what? That’s a decent thing for you to do. To be with someone that you love.”

She looked at Bryce, “She might not know it, but she loves you.”

“My father called you?” I asked, quietly.

Corrigan stopped laughing.

Miss Connors nodded and murmured, “I called him yesterday to let him know that I saw his daughter for a successful session. I couldn’t tell him anything, but he called me back and told me what was going on.” She leaned forward. “For the record, Sheldon—he sounded sorry about everything that’s gone down.”

“What’d you tell him?”

“Just what I said right now. Sheldon came in for a session with her two best friends and I felt it went very well. That was it.”

“Nothing else?” I prompted.

“Did I divulge all your secrets? No.”

Corrigan suddenly asked, “Can we get back to Sheldon’s question? Why am I Mr.

Raimler, she’s Sheldon, and Bryce is Bryce Scout?”

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Miss Connors grinned and said, “Because you’re so informal that you’re formal.

A formal title only makes sense. Bryce is a legend. He deserves two names. And Sheldon because, half the time, she forgets her own name.”

Huh?

“What?” Corrigan echoed my sentiments.

Miss Connors shrugged, “You’ll get it. Someday, maybe.”

“I get it,” Bryce said softly and leaned forward. “Mr. Raimler because you flirt so much to actually be real. It comes off as kinda impersonal or…formal.” He shrugged.

“And Bryce Scout because she said it herself, she hears about me from all those girls. I’m not really real, but… I don’t know, like a celebrity or something.” He took a deep breath, “And Sheldon because…Sheldon forgets that she’s human sometimes. She tries to be a robot all the time.”

“A robot who has mad passionate sex,” Corrigan joked.

“Not appropriate, Mr. Raimler,” Miss Connors rebuked quickly.

Corrigan muttered, just as quick, “Sorry.”

“I think,” Miss Connors spoke firmly. “That the biggest question in the room today is if Sheldon is a decent person or not. She talked about it yesterday. She told me that she wasn’t a decent person. Leisha was a decent person, but Sheldon wasn’t. Her words, not mine. So…” She looked between Bryce and Corrigan. “What do you think?

Do you think Sheldon is a decent person?”

Corrigan spoke first, “Hell, yeah.”

Bryce didn’t say anything for a moment, but then he sighed, “She’s a decent

person when she remembers that she is a person.”

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I looked over, surprised.

He shrugged and met my eyes, “You just…I just don’t think you feel half the

time. You’re so harsh sometimes to other people and I think it’s just because you’re worse to yourself.”

“I think the bigger question is what Sheldon is going to do when she leaves today.

She felt something yesterday and look where we all got. So what about today?” She finally looked my way and asked me, “I know you’re feeling something today—so what are you going to do when you leave this office and you enter that world where you can’t feel to get by? What ‘indecent’ thing are you going to do?”

I shrugged and looked away.

To my surprise, it was Bryce who burst out, “Come on! Just…say something,

Sheldon!”

“This isn’t therapy with just me,” I cried out. “I thought this was a group thing.

Why are you so focused on me today?”

“Because you’re the one who banged Steele,” Bryce bit out.

Miss Connors said quietly, “Because you’re hurting the worst of everyone in this room.”

Shocked, I looked at her, but the words died in my throat. I shook my head.

Bryce fell back against his chair in disgust.

Corrigan raised a hand and said, “Can I ask a question? And I’m not doing this to distract from Sheldon, I’m really not.”

“What?” Miss Connors asked.

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“Why are the three of us in here? I mean—I know that we were originally in here because it was Bryce and Sheldon who found Leisha’s body, but…no one else is doing ‘group’ therapy.”

“You’re in here because the three of you have formed a tight family unit,” Miss Connors explained patiently. “I’ve heard and listened to other students. You three are so tight, that there’s no room for anyone else and you bat down anyone who threatens your alliances with each other. In the therapy culture, we’d call you an enmeshed family.”

“Oh.”

“So…this actually leads into some homework that I have for you guys.” She

reached behind her and grabbed two pairs of handcuffs. “Hold out your arms.”

“What?”

“Are

you

serious?”

“Hell.”

As we did, Miss Connors clamped one pair of handcuffs from my arm to Bryce’s.

She extended the other from Corrigan’s arm to my other and leaned back in her chair.

“Now,” she skimmed our faces. “This assignment has been approved by all your teachers, parents, and even the police. The three of you are going to prove to me that it’s healthy for you to be as close to each other as you are. You’re going to keep those handcuffs on until you’ve proved to me that you’re healthy.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Bryce remarked.

Miss Connors shrugged and offered, “It’s this or you listen to stories of fish, frogs, and ponds.”

“Handcuffs.” Corrigan nodded.

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“Good. I’ll see you in two days for a check up. I want to know how it’s going.”

And we stood up.

Handcuffs, chains, and arms swung between each of us in our tight enmeshed

triad.

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Life in handcuffs was not new to Corrigan and semi-new to Bryce. Surprisingly, they were alien to me in and out of the bedroom.

How to get out of handcuffs?

It was Corrigan’s forte and he only needed one stop along the way.

Hoodum’s.

The gang leader laughed uproariously when Corrigan called him out to our car in the parking lot. He actually stood there, laughed, and needed to pat his leg for composure.

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It was maybe the first time that all three of us were quiet for our humiliation.

After we were delivered a third-sheet of public ridicule, Hoodum hunted around his warehouse and produced a key. Of course, afterwards Bryce remarked that Corrigan should’ve just ‘picked’ the lock. After getting arrested a few too many times, Corrigan knew his way around a pair of handcuffs.

At Bryce’s comment, Corrigan had blinked, startled, and then cursed his own

stupidity.

From there, we went back to school with the handcuffs still on, but they were taped so Miss Connors wouldn’t figure out that we were cheating. All three of us tried to figure out which classes to go to and we had finally decided on Corrigan’s fifth period with Mr. Hankins. I had just settled back for a nap when Mena strolled in wearing a black halter-top and black leather miniskirt.

Every guy sucked in their breath. And most of the girls’ mouths fell open or they hissed.

Corrigan and Bryce both appreciated the imagery, but it was Mr. Hankins who

spoke up, “Miss Cruiw, you can report to the office. I’m fairly certain your dress is inappropriate. They might have a large tee shirt for you.”

Mena ignored him and sat at a table in the corner.

“Miss Cruiw,” Mr. Hankins tried again.

Bryce leaned forward and remarked, casually, “You’re not wanted, Mena.”

She snapped to attention and whirled around, “Was my brother a good lay,

Sheldon? He was over at your house a little longer than he needed to be.”

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The class gasped and I sighed. Bryce had started this, but Mena knew where to make him hurt...

“What does it take to get it through your head?” Bryce asked. “You’re not

wanted.”

“What’d I ever do to you?” Mena demanded.

He leaned back, coolly in control, “You’re not right in the head. That’s what you did.”

“What? And Sheldon is? She’s more screwed up than me.”

“Mena,” Mandy spoke up.

She was ignored when Mena cried out, “I can’t believe you. You guys go at it like rabbits and you’re still defending her after she screwed my brother in her garage.”

That was enough. I asked, a sly grin on my face, “Did you wish it was you?”

The class held their breath.

Mena

paled.

“Do you wish it had been you instead of your brother? Or do you wish it had been you that he touched?”