Jaguar's Kiss (Lone Pine Pride) (5 page)

Lila shivered at the unchecked possessiveness on his face.
God, to be wanted like that. To belong to him.
“That’s not what I meant. It’s too late now. I can’t—” Things were settled. Didn’t he see that? Why had he waited? She might have been able to talk to her father before. Might have wanted to if she’d only known. “Why didn’t you let me know you wanted me before?”

“Because it wouldn’t have made a difference,” he snarled, raking a hand through his black hair. “Because you flirt with everything that walks, but when push comes to shove you’re the biggest goddamn snob in the pride when it comes to mixing with the non-lions.”

“That isn’t true!”

“No? Then why were you telling Patch she needs to hook up with a mountain lion?”

“Were you
spying
on me?” She had said as much to Patch, right before the meeting tonight. She’d been trying to distract herself from the upcoming announcement, thinking to play matchmaker between her best friend and some of the new independent male cougars who had recently arrived from the south. But for Santiago to know that… “How did you know about that? Did Patch tell you?”

“
You
just told me. It was a guess. An educated one based on your prejudice and the fact that there are finally
eligible
males for Patch in the pride—by your limited definition of eligible.”

“It’s not just my definition,” she defended, hating that he saw her as closed-minded. “The children of cross-species shifter pairings can’t always shift. Don’t you want your children to be able to change?”

“Medical science is advancing all the time. And you’re getting a little ahead of yourself, aren’t you, princess? I haven’t even asked you out.”

“Don’t call me that.” She’d always hated it. The pride princess. She was more than that, damn it.

His eyes were dark, mocking. “Hey, if the tiara fits…”

“I don’t have to listen to this.” She turned, meaning to shove past him and march right back to the main compound, but his arm shot out, wrapping around her waist and dragging her back against him—exactly where her traitorous body desperately wanted to be. She twisted, struggling in his grip, the cage of his strength making something hot and wild unfurl in her core. “How dare you?”

The growl was back in his voice. “You want me to dare?”

Oh God, yes, please
. “I
want
you to let me go.”

His hands were suddenly off her, his luscious heat gone. “Whatever you say, princess.”

Half of her wanted to run like hell. The other half longed to throw herself back into his arms, knock his feet out from under him and beat him to the ground. But Lila forced herself to do the right thing and walk slowly, deliberately away without a backward glance.

Doing what she was
supposed
to do had never been so difficult.

Chapter Five

Santiago groaned as he watched the object of his obsession saunter away as if nothing had happened. As if his world hadn’t just shattered and reformed wrong. As if he hadn’t just made the biggest goddamn mistake of his life—the one mistake he would never be able to make himself regret.

He’d kissed Lila Fallon.

And it had been everything he’d been fantasizing for five years it would be. Though the afterglow could use some work.

Shit
.

Everything with Lila was complication on top of complication. For him it was simple. Lila Fallon had always been the most beautiful, precious female he’d ever seen. She was kind-hearted to a fault and so giving she was going to allow herself to be eaten up by the needs of the pride, packaged and domesticated until she was no more than the product of her parents’ wishes. So much so that she didn’t even know her own.

He wanted to steal her away. Make her his and live just the two of them, somewhere it didn’t matter that she was the Alpha’s daughter and he was a stray jaguar. But Lila was a lion. She would always need the pride, need that community around her. She wasn’t cut out to be a nomad, even if he could have asked her to walk away from her family.

He didn’t really want her to abandon them. He just wanted her to want him. Even if it was only half as much as he craved her.

There had been moments before tonight, flickers, when he thought he caught something in her eye, some hint that she might have some feeling for him, buried underneath layers of obligation, but they never quite got all the way to the surface. She wouldn’t let herself want. Because then she would never have to be upset by her lack of options. She’d never have to face the fact that her life had never been her own.

But tonight she’d wanted. He hadn’t imagined that. She’d been with him all the way. Just as hungry and eager as his wildest dreams.

He wasn’t sure if that was very good or very, very bad. He couldn’t predict how she would react to letting herself want him—even if it had just been for a few minutes.

She hadn’t immediately thrown Roman over and fallen into his arms. In fact, she seemed to still plan on marrying him.

Santiago clenched his fist around the ribbon that still carried her scent. Could he stay and watch her marry Roman? Watch them raise perfect little lion babies and rule over the pride? Would he be able to swear his loyalty to Roman, who didn’t even seem to know what he had in Lila?

Maybe it would be best if he left now, before it got any harder. He’d liked being part of a pride, but he was still a jaguar, still independent enough to make it on his own. He had enough of a reputation now that he could probably move to another area in the region without losing too many of his client contacts. Idaho, maybe. Or Washington. He’d heard Seattle was beautiful. Jaguars actually liked the water and there wasn’t a lion pride within a hundred miles of the city, so he wouldn’t have to worry about being reminded of Lila all the time.

It was a decent plan. The only problem was, he didn’t want to leave her. He didn’t think he would ever want to leave her. Even if it meant never having her. Watching her with someone else.

Lila Fallon had wedged her way into his soul and until he learned how to get her out, he was stuck.

Santiago took another swallow of tequila, trying to burn the taste of her out of his memory, and wandered off the trail, deeper into the wilds of the pride lands. He would’ve shifted, but right now he needed tequila more than fur.

Lila woke feeling wretched, and she couldn’t even blame it entirely on the alcohol. The hangover really wasn’t that bad, but the remorse, the remorse was eating a hole in her stomach.

She’d left Patch alone with Roman and never gone back, forcing her best friend to make excuses for her. On the night she’d become officially engaged to one man, she’d gone and kissed another. And then had a raging row with the Other Man—though she couldn’t remember what the fight was about. But she recalled every detail of the kiss.

She felt all twisted up inside, like her emotions would only be made straight if she could shift into feline form and run for days—which was so not her. Lila had never been ruled by her cat. She was almost detached from it, it was so contained within her. She enjoyed her cat well enough, but she never
needed
it. She didn’t really have much of a connection to her animalistic side, having never really keyed into her leonine instincts, but now she felt the restless press of fur against the inside of her skin.

She stripped out of last night’s slept-in clothes and took a quick shower, but the restlessness wasn’t soothed by the pounding water, so instead of drying off, she shifted and shook the water droplets from her fur.

She padded out of her apartment and loped awkwardly down the external stairs. The nearby area was thronging with people, many of them carrying suitcases, bits of furniture, and crates of personal items—the outlying cats moving in already. She wondered where Santiago would stay then shook away the thought. It was none of her concern.

She took the same route as last night, trotting north out of the main area. She easily found the spot where she’d kissed Santiago, but her red ribbon was missing from the post and someone had already cleaned up the broken glass she’d meant to come back for. Farther up the path, she crested a small hill and found a saturation of Patch’s and Roman’s scents. They’d stayed here for a while, waiting for her to come back, no doubt.

Lila ran on, stretching her legs out with a burst of speed. She scented prey to her right, but didn’t turn and belly under the fence. She wasn’t in the mood to hunt alone. Instead she veered left, taking off through the underbrush into one of the many forested areas on the pride lands.

She was forced to slow to navigate the less familiar, uneven path, but she kept her pace just a little faster than caution would recommend. She wished she could say it was helping, that she’d sorted out some of the jumble she’d woken up with, but she was still as tangled up and restless inside as ever.

She must’ve run for an hour, taking a wide loop through the northern pride lands before circling back to the main complex. The activity hadn’t abated. If anything there were more shifters on the paths now, getting settled themselves or helping others move in. Lila threaded around their ankles, careful not to trip anyone as she darted through the crowds.

This was what it was going to be like in the pride now. Crowded, with everyone smelling slightly of tension and fear.

“Lila.”

At the sound of her name, she darted off the side of the path, twisting to see the speaker.

Roman. Standing on the porch of one of the bungalows with a pair of elderly lynx. The older couple waiting patiently as Roman paused his conversation with them to call out to her.

“Come by my office later, if you would. We should talk.”

She bowed her head in assent and leapt back into motion, rushing off. Now the tangled, amorphous nervousness she’d woken up with had a point to focus on.

Roman wanted to talk to her. Roman
never
wanted to talk to her.

What had she done wrong? Well, obviously she
knew
what she’d done wrong. She’d made out with Santiago like a cat in heat, but could Roman know that? Sure there were times when it seemed like he was omniscient when it came to the pride, but usually he didn’t pay much heed to who was sucking face with whom. Though it might make a difference if one of the face suckers was his fiancée.

How was she going to face him? What was she going to say? She hadn’t been this nervous the one and only time she’d been called in front of the pride school’s principal. Of course, in that case, she’d known she was in the right. Patch had been being bullied and Lila had gotten in that fight because she
needed
to. She didn’t have an excuse this time. This time she was fully in the wrong. And somehow Roman knew.

How could he know? Did Santiago tell him? No. Lila was certain the jaguar wouldn’t have done that. Roman had probably just walked past the infamous fence post and smelled the two of them all over it.

She would explain it. Wild oats. Bridal jitters. Alcohol. It was perfectly understandable. Roman was a reasonable mountain of muscle and authority. He would understand. She hoped.

By the time she’d shifted back, showered again and changed into fresh clothes—which necessitated a good hour of primping until her nerves were diminished enough for her to leave the apartment—it was lunch time, so Lila stopped off to grab a couple of sandwiches at the commissary to take to Roman. Maybe if she fed him it would remind him that his fiancée had virtues to counterbalance the tendency to make out with strange jaguars immediately after the announcement of her wedding.

Roman’s office was in the middle of a housing cluster. Since the Alpha’s office was part of the main house, off on its own up on the hill, Roman had decided that the Alpha’s heir and second-in-command should be more accessible to the pride, to give him a chance to get to know his cats on a more casual basis before he became their master.

Lila agreed with the policy, but it meant she was ducking through more crowds as she made her way to the low-slung building that was Roman’s den. She scratched on his door, half-hoping he wouldn’t be in, but his deep baritone promptly called out, “Come in.”

Lila shoved open the door and he looked up from the file on his desk. “Lila. Thank you for coming.”

He was alone. Just the two of them as she let the door fall closed behind her. She should get used to it. When they were married, she was going to have to be alone with him.

“I brought you a sandwich.”

“Thank you. I’m starving.” His gaze flicked to the side, so rapidly she almost didn’t catch it, but when she looked over she saw the remnants of a massive meal piled on the sideboard.

She blushed. “You ate already. I should’ve known—”

“No, this is perfect,” he cut her off, rising and rounding his desk. “I’m always hungry. Something you’ll doubtless need to know about me.” He took the sandwiches from her hands and drew her to the chair beside his desk—not the one opposite, but a small one she’d never noticed positioned next to his throne-like one. “More food is always welcome. Drink?”

He sat in his chair and stretched out one long arm behind him to pop open a mini-fridge, stocked to bursting with Gatorade, bottled water, and, surprisingly, vanilla Coke.

“Water?” She cleared her throat when her voice came out a squeak.