Jaguar's Kiss (Lone Pine Pride) (9 page)

“It’s starting now,” Patch said. “You’re getting married.”

I don’t want to get married.
She couldn’t make herself say it out loud. “Yeah.”

Lila came down off the log and stretched out beside Patch on the ground, not caring if it ruined her dress. Side by side, they stared up at the canopy in silence, shoulders brushing.

“I lied to Santiago,” Lila admitted softly. “I don’t even know why I did it.” Because it felt safer, probably, hiding the truth.

“What did you lie about?” Patch asked.

“He asked me if I remembered the day we met and I said no.”

Patch turned her head, frowning. “That must have been years ago.”

“It was. We were playing football and I made him and Mateo join us. Remember?”

“Not really, but it sounds like something you would do.”

Lila remembered that day with crystalline clarity. How she’d been aware of his gaze the second it had touched her. How she’d played harder and laughed louder with him watching. How she’d used the flimsy excuse of two shifters leaving their make-shift game to cajole him into joining them. The way his eyes had laughed into hers across the line of scrimmage even though his mouth had stayed serious. And that moment, that unforgettable moment when he’d lifted her off her feet and taken them both to the ground and suddenly it hadn’t been play anymore.

In that instant she’d felt the weight of something else, his intent, no longer playful, a line no one else had ever dared cross with her being breached. With him, for the first time, flirtation hadn’t been a game. It had been foreplay.

And that scared the shit out of her. Because she couldn’t let herself want him. Not then. Not now. Not ever.

“Silly thing to lie about,” she mumbled.

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” Patch said idly. “He’ll be gone soon anyway.”

Lila’s head snapped to the side. “What did you say?”

“Santiago. He’s relocating to Seattle. Didn’t he mention it?”

No. That couldn’t be right. He wouldn’t leave. He wouldn’t stir her up and twist her in knots and then just vanish. “You must have heard him wrong.”

“Maybe.” But Patch didn’t sound like she thought that was likely.

Lila’s thoughts reeled.

He’d kissed her. He’d said he wanted to kiss her again. He wouldn’t just up and leave after that. Though what had she done? She’d rejected him. She’d told him to stop. Told him she was marrying Roman. Avoided him. Run like hell. Why should he stay?

But when she thought about the pride without Santiago, when she considered never seeing him again, that she might never look up and see him across the dining hall or on the other side of the compound, his eyes smoldering into hers, when she thought he might just walk away—no. It was wrong. He belonged here. Lone Pine wasn’t right without him.

“I have to go.”

She scrambled to her feet, barely aware of Patch’s soft “Lila?” behind her, already running down the path back toward the main compound.

How dare he leave without even telling her? Sure, she hadn’t exactly made it easy for him to tell her in the last week when she’d been hiding from him, but she’d needed time to think things through. Time, damn it. Was that so much to ask for? He was asking her to rock her entire world to be with him and at the first sign of adversity he just up and moves to Seattle?

No. Hell no. That wasn’t how this was going to play out.

She dodged other shifters, tossing half-hearted waves to those who called out to her, and raced up the stairs to the apartment where she’d found him last time, but when she knocked no one answered. Gone already? No—his scent was all but nonexistent. If he’d been living here, she should have been able to tell.

He hadn’t moved into the pride after all. Still out at his tree house, alone and unprotected. Reckless bastard.

Lila pulled out her cell phone.

Patch didn’t bother with hello. “Are you okay? When you ran off like that—”

“I need to borrow your car.”

“Lila…” The pause sounded like a
no.
“We aren’t supposed to be straying far from the pride right now—”

Which was why she hadn’t asked for one of the pride vehicles. Lila didn’t have her own car, but she was going to see Santiago. One way or another. “Either I borrow your car or I walk.”

Patch must have heard the stony determination in her voice. “I’ll meet you at the garage with the keys.”

Chapter Eight

Patch’s old Subaru bounced over the narrow track to Santiago’s house as Lila pushed the accelerator to the floor.

He had to still be there. He couldn’t just jolt her awake with a kiss, shake her up with unanswerable questions and walk away while she was still reeling. Unless this had all been a game to him. Toy with the Alpha’s little princess before strutting off into the sunset.

No. This was more than that. Even if Lila couldn’t trust her own instincts where he was concerned, Patch liked him.

The Land Rover was still in the driveway. Lila’s heart gave a hard thump of relief at the sight. He hadn’t left already.

The car skidded to a halt, throwing gravel, and Lila launched herself from the vehicle, the slamming car door announcing her presence. She knocked on his door, knuckles rapping the wood in a steady, unending staccato until it was jerked from beneath her hand, revealing Santiago—tall, dark, glowery Santiago.

“You’re moving to
Seattle
?” The words were more accusation than question.

“Not today.” He stepped back to make room for her to enter.

Lila stalked past him into the living room. “But you’re leaving. Just up and running away. Were you ever going to tell me? Or just slink off into the night?”

“I didn’t think I needed to say it. You can’t honestly have thought I would stay here and watch you marry Roman.”

She didn’t know what she’d thought. It was one of the things she’d been trying not to think about. Because when she looked at them head on, she was forced to admit the truth. Her shoulders slumped and she turned to face the fireplace, gripping the mantle. “I don’t want to marry Roman,” she whispered.

It was the first time she’d spoken the words aloud and it felt like the world cracked open, the earth suddenly jagged and unstable beneath her feet.

“What?” The door clicked closed, Santiago shutting them in, but Lila didn’t turn. Even from across the room, she knew he’d heard. His hearing was shifter-keen.

“I’m scared of marrying Roman,” she said, a little louder. She felt her face heating from the shame of her admission. “All my life I’ve known it would happen. I’ve been preparing for this, but I can’t help being terrified that I’m going to be the worst Alpha’s mate ever. I don’t like being in charge. I want to help people and make them feel at home here, but I don’t want to be the boss. That isn’t me. I’m going to be such a train wreck. Let everyone down. I’ve never wanted that life. I don’t want to be the Alpha’s mate.”

“You don’t have to be.”

“Don’t I?” She turned then, resting her back against the mantle. He was still safely on the other side of the room, and she studied him, truly seeing him for the first time since bursting in here.

The sleeves of his button down shirt were rolled up to the elbow, the deep green color making the rich brown of his eyes jump out in contrast. His black hair was disarranged, as if he’d been raking his hands through it all morning. The sight of him, tall and strong, and looking at her like she was his entire world, hit her low in the stomach as he moved to stand at the farthest point of the room from her—either to give her space or in the feline’s patient stalk, she wasn’t sure which.

“You could run away with me.” His voice was low and dark, everything seductive.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” He took another step, still circling rather than approaching.

Lila swallowed down a flood of helplessness. How to make him understand how trapped she suddenly felt, when she’d never let herself feel hemmed in like this before? “This is still my home. I owe them…”

“What?” he challenged, though the word was surprisingly soft. Tempting. “Your life? Your happiness? Your soul?”

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?” Was it really so bad, what was being asked of her?

“Come away with me,” he said again, the words a sultry invitation. He circled again, closer this time. “Not forever. Just long enough to clear your head. Get away from the pride telling you what to do and figure out what you want for a change. Give us a chance to figure out if this is real.”

This
. The other big thing she’d been ignoring. The way she wanted him. The way he seemed to want her. Lila closed her eyes and shook her head.

Why had she come here? To stop him from leaving? She should have let him go. She couldn’t have him, so why was she torturing them both like this? Let him leave. It was probably for the best. Then she wouldn’t ache like this anymore. She wouldn’t feel this sense that she was missing out by doing what she had to do.

“Lila.”

His voice was so close she jumped, her eyes snapping open. He was right there, his gorgeous face inches above hers, his hands lifting to cup her jaw.

“What do you really want?” he whispered, and then he kissed her.

It was everything she remembered and more. Heat and aching sweetness. Need in every caress. Her blood fired like lava pulsing through her veins. This was why she’d come. She’d needed this. Needed him.

His hands dropped from her face to grasp her shoulders, lifting her to her toes as he took the kiss deeper, his tongue stroking deliciously into her mouth. She gripped his shirt, loving the feel of his pecs against her fists and needing him for balance as the rest of the world tilted and slid away, and his large, capable hands roamed down her back and over the curve of her hips.

His mouth wandered, over her jaw, along her throat, finding her pulse point, his teeth scraping just hard enough to draw a gasp from her.

They had to stop. If they didn’t stop now she wouldn’t be able to. She wouldn’t want to.
I already don’t want to.

“Santiago.” Lila pushed him away, but her hands stayed fisted in his shirt so he couldn’t go far. Everything was swirling, twisting and tangling in her head. Too many things she’d denied for too long crashing against one another.

“I lied,” she whispered, her voice surprisingly rough. “I remember everything about the day we met. No one had ever looked at me the way you looked at me, like I was yours and I just didn’t know it yet. It scared me. Because I knew I could want you, because I knew if I let myself want you I would never be able to stop and I couldn’t do that. I wasn’t free. I’m still not free. I belong to the pride. To Rom—”

He cut her off with a hard, brief kiss. “You belong to
me
,” he growled and those words curled her toes and made her breath come short. He fisted his hand in the hair at her nape and hauled her back against him with a hard arm banded across her back.

His possessiveness called to something deep inside her, an animal side that had always been ignored.
Mine
, she wanted to growl right back. This gorgeous man with his sinful good looks and fierce, untamable independence was hers and no one else’s. She gripped his shoulders, her claws snicking out to test his flesh and Santiago rumbled a deep throaty purr that vibrated through them both.

He broke off the kiss, breathing hard, eyes blazing a wild gold. “Say it. Say you’re mine.”

“Yours. Always.” No matter what else happened, no matter who she had to become when she went back to the real world, she would always be his. Lila pulled him back down to her mouth, biting his lower lip with a hard possessive nip.
Mine
.

Santiago’s answering growl wasn’t remotely human. He jerked her off her feet and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She would take this moment, take this night and brand him into her soul. If it was all they could ever have, she’d make it count.

She clung to him as he took the stairs to the master suite, carrying her weight easily, his muscles flexing firm and tight beneath the tips of her claws. She bit his shoulder where it met his neck, her lioness rubbing against the inside of her skin. Normally the feline side of her was quiet when she was in human form, but Santiago called to the animal in her, waking her cat and making it purr with his touch.

He dropped her onto the bed and came down above her, caging her with his arms. “No second thoughts.” It was a demand more than a question, but she answered anyway.

“Never.” She wouldn’t regret this.

She sank her fingers knuckle deep into his hair and pulled his mouth down to hers, devouring his lips in a long, hungry kiss. He nudged her legs apart to settle between them and one hand stroked up the bare length of her leg.

“These fucking little skirts,” he groaned against her lips. “You’ve been driving me mad with them for years. Every time I see you in another pretty, frilly little skirt I want to bend you over and flip it up and drive myself into you until you can’t remember your name.” His hand snuck beneath the fabric, long fingers hooking over the narrow waistband of her bikini panties and dragging them down an inch.

The image of him doing just that slammed into her brain and Lila shuddered deliciously. But instead of putting action to his words, he released her panties and stroked his hand back down her thigh, his fingertips brushing the underside of her knee, bending it up as he continued over her calf until his hand closed over her ankle. Her shoes today were strappy sandals, buckled over her ankle. Santiago deftly released one and slipped it off her foot, like Cinderella in reverse, before flicking it over his shoulder to thud against the wall and disappear.