Jane Shoup (4 page)

“C-can I at least know your
name? Your first name? You seem to know everything about me.”

He smiled.“I don’t know
everything about you. I wish I did.”

She frowned. “Don’t you get
tired of whispering?”

“It’s time for me to go.”
She shook her head, not wanting him to go, and he was so touched, he felt lit
up inside. He kissed her again.

“Just tell me why,” she
begged, clutching his arm. It was hard and lean. “Why can’t you tell me?”

“There’s a reason,” he
repeated. “That’s all I can say now.”

“All you can whisper now,
you mean.”

She’d finally stopped
crying. In fact, she was frowning again; he could tell by the way her eyebrows
were knitted.

“It’s not because you’re
married, is it?” she asked.

“No.”

“You’re not married?”

“You’re the only woman I’d
marry.”

“Well, I absolutely have to
see you first.”

He laughed. It was time to
go. She’d gotten her spunk back and he couldn’t risk her tearing off her
blindfold. Not with the deception he’d employed. It was possible she’d be so
upset she wouldn’t see him here or in therapy ever again. Not only that, but if
she were really upset, she might sue him or contact his employer and get him
fired. No, there was way too much risk.

He set her aside and then
helped her to her feet. He tucked himself back into his pants, watching her
carefully for any sudden movement.

“And what am I supposed to
call you?” she asked again.

She felt a light kiss on
the tip of her nose and she knew he wasn’t going to answer her. “Tell me one
thing and I won’t ask any more questions for now,” she bargained.

Silence.

She cocked her head,
listening.“Are you there?”

Silence.

“I’m taking the blindfold
off,” she warned.

She slipped it off and
looked around, already knowing she was alone again. She studied the scarf in
her hand. The perimeter was black and inside of that was a wild design in
orange, pink and yellow, a violent ocean wave in front of a canopy of stars.
There was fire, leaping fish, the feeling of movement, the struggle to live.
Not only was it mesmerizing; it was Hermes. He’d bought Parisian quality for
the occasion.

Or had he taken it...from
his wife or girlfriend? Was that why he wouldn’t tell her who he was? He’d said
he wasn’t married, but how did she know he was telling the truth? Or maybe he
was engaged and this was some game, a last fling before he tied the ol’ knot.

She turned and picked her
clothes off the floor and dressed again. The only item not there was her bra.
It was her best one, too. She glanced up at the top of the dryer, in case it
had been left and saw two hundred-dollar bills lying there. She felt an
unpleasant sensation in her stomach at the sight. The money had been kind of a
thrill the first time. It felt different now.

Chapter Four

December 12

Jenny smiled her approval
that Ryan had practiced the exercises she assigned. It had made their session
go smoothly. “I’m proud of you. You did a great job today.”

“Do I get a r-reward?” he
teased.

She grinned as she wrote a
note in his file. “Like a lollypop?”

“L-l-like d-dinner.”

Her eyes shot up,
surprised.

“I’d b-buy, of c-course.”

His stuttering had suddenly
taken a turn for the worse. Stress. Her mind went blank searching for a
response.

“It’s okay,” he said
quickly, shaking his head. “I’m s-sure you don’t go out with g-guys like me.”

Conflicting emotions tore
at her. She crossed her arms. “Patients, you mean?” she asked a little testily.

He studied the frown on her
face, wondering what was going on in that beautiful head of hers. After a brief
hesitation, he nodded.

“I hope you didn’t mean
that I wouldn’t date someone with a speech impediment. I would be really
disappointed if you thought I was that shallow.” Slowly, he relaxed, impressed
by her sincerity, and the relief on his face made her chest ache. That
was
what he’d meant. How much rejection had he suffered because of a damned
stutter? “My dad stutters,” she admitted quietly. “So does my brother. It’s why
I became a speech therapist. A lifetime of seeing their frustration, a lifetime
of seeing jerks make fun of them,” she said passionately. “So please don’t ever
suggest I would be
—
”

He held up his hands in
concession. “I didn’t know.”

She took a breath and
exhaled, realizing she’d gone a little over the edge. Still, she hated that
anyone would think
that
of her.

There was a brief knock on
the door before Zoe came barreling in. “Oh,” she remarked with an innocent look
that didn’t fool anyone for a second. “I’m sorry. I thought you were all done
in here.”

Jenny barely restrained a
groan. Zoe was pathetic and Ryan was gorgeous. Actually, Zoe was pathetic
because Ryan was gorgeous.

“Zoe Ross,” Zoe introduced
herself to Ryan, sticking out her hand.

He shook her hand. “Ryan
Cosgrove.”

“So, Ryan Cosgrove. It’s
Monday Madness over at Nelson’s on fifth. You know it?”

“I –th-think so.”

“Jenny and I are going.”

“I didn’t say I was going,”
Jenny reminded her quickly. Zoe always just assumed she would ultimately get
her way.

“You want to join?” Zoe
continued as if Jenny hadn’t spoken.

Jenny chewed on her bottom
lip. What was wrong with her? She was holding her breath, praying he wouldn’t
respond to Zoe. Maybe she was the one who was pathetic. She’d just refused
dinner with him
—because it was the ethical thing to do.
He was waiting
on her to say something, to indicate whether it was okay or not, or maybe
whether she was going or not. She gave a slight shrug. “It’s low key, kind of
fun. They make their own beer. I’m not planning on staying long—”

“Okay,” he said as casually
as he could manage. It was tough because his heart was soaring.

* * * *

Ryan got up to go hit the
bathroom and Zoe watched him go. “He is so into you,” she commented to Jenny.
“I hate you.”

“He is not,” Jenny replied
automatically, despite the fact that she felt like a fourteen-year-old girl
being told the boy of her dreams liked her.

Zoe studied his retreating
figure. “Look at the ass on him.”

“Come on,” Jenny frowned.

“Honey, baby, relax your
girdle a little and look at his tight little ass. Yum.”

“You’re sick,” Jenny stated
lightly.

“Yeah? Know what you are?”

Jenny sipped her beer. Zoe
was going to say ‘uptight’ or something like that. “What?” she gave in.

“Finally getting over that
asswipe ex of yours,” Zoe said approvingly.

Jenny grinned. She had gone
all day without thinking of Mitch. “Can you say a sentence without using the
word ass?”

“You know, Ryan would have
made a good Marlboro man, don’t you think?” Zoe said, totally off topic.

“Bet your ass,” Jenny said
in a low voice.

Zoe guffawed in a most
unladylike way and held up her glass.

Jenny rolled her eyes, but
clinked glasses anyway.

“I’m picturing him in
nothing but a cowboy hat and a pair of boots with spurs on them,” Zoe said
wistfully. “Think he has any tattoos?”

“I’m sure I don’t know.”

* * * *

Ryan came back and his eyes
settled on Jenny’s.

“Oh, God,” Zoe groaned.
“Music’s going to start any second, isn’t it? Violins and shit.”

Ryan colored a little and
looked down, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off Jenny for long. “Are those
c-color contacts?” he asked shyly.

Jenny shook her head.
“Nope.”

“Mine either,” Zoe added
with her typical comical flair. “How ‘bout I get up and get us another round?”
She popped up without waiting for a response.

“She’ll be here all night,”
Jenny said drolly.

“The not dating
p-patients,” Ryan said, staring at his half-full beer.“Is that your p-personal
r-rule?”

She looked down and studied
hers, too. “I wouldn’t say it’s a
rule
, exactly. Most of my patients are
either kids or senior citizens, so it hasn’t been that much of an issue.”

He sat back and waited for
her to continue.

“The thing is,” she said,“
—
suppose
we went out and hit it off, and then, you know, things went wrong.” Her smile
had dimmed. “Where would the therapy be?” she finished weakly. “And it’s
important. It’s something that affects your life.”

He shook his head. “Why
would something go wrong?”

She shrugged. “It happens.”

“Stuttering isn’t the only
thing that affects my l-life,” he said earnestly.

She looked down at the
table, trying to rein in her emotions. He could say so little and yet affect
her so much. Even the way he looked at her affected her pulse rate.

“I know this r-restaurant,
Greek food,” he said.

“Ryan, it’s really not a
good idea while you’re
—
”

“Then I quit.”

Her eyes widened in alarm.
He was dead serious. “No! That’s crazy!”

“I can q-quit when I want
to,” he reasoned.

“Not so that I’ll go out
with you!”

Zoe came back, balancing
three over-full beers. She sat them down and looked back and forth between
Jenny and Ryan. “What’s going on?”

“I’m trying to get her to
go out with me,” Ryan admitted.

“Go out with him,” Zoe
snapped, glaring at Jenny. “Don’t be a dumbshit.”

“Zoe, stay out of it,
please. Ryan
—
”

“It’s like this, Ryan,” Zoe
interrupted, sitting back down. “Jen had this asswipe of a boyfriend.”

Jenny’s face flamed.“Zoe,”
she warned.

“Guy thinks he’s God’s gift
to women,” Zoe kept on.“And he gets his rocks off by trashing whatever woman
he’s with, but in a real slick way.”

“Stop it,” Jenny said
quietly.

“Like that gives him some
special power,” Zoe kept on.

“Shows how p-powerless he
really f-feels,” Ryan commented, scowling at the thought of someone trashing
his girl.

“Exactly,” Zoe agreed.
“Anyway, he did a number on my friend here.” She finally noticed Jenny was
looking off, obviously highly pissed. “Which we won’t go into detail about
because I gotta’ pee,” she said, scooting off again to avoid Jenny’s
displeasure.

With Zoe gone, there was an
uncomfortable silence at the table.

“I should probably g-go,”
Ryan said.

Jenny’s spirits deflated
completely. She chanced a look at him as he stood.

“F-Friday night?” he asked
hopefully. “Greek food?”

She had to work not to
burst into a wide smile. He was still interested.

“Think about it?” he asked.

“You wouldn’t really quit?”

“I r-really want to t-take
you out.”

She struggled to make the
right decision. He was gorgeous and sweet, yeah, but he was her patient, too.
“Dinner,” she said. “Just the one time. Okay? Then, if we want to...pursue it,
we’ll wait until we’re further along in your therapy. You have to promise me you
won’t quit, though, no matter what.”

“I don’t plan on b-being in
therapy forever,” he hedged.

“And your insurance won’t
pay for it forever either,” she teased. “It’s either ten or twelve sessions.
You have to promise me you’ll stick those out.”

“Okay.” He smiled.“Tell Zoe
it was n-nice to meet her.”

Jenny’s eyes flashed.“I’m
going to tell her a few things,” she said darkly. “But I’ll pass it on.”

* * * *

Zoe watched Ryan leave
before she headed back to face Jenny. “Note the tail tucked between my legs,” she
said upon sitting, her gaze cast down, her posture prostrated.

Jenny felt her anger melt
away. “I don’t want to discuss Mitch anymore,” she stated matter-of-factly.
“Ever.”

Zoe’s head popped up. “Are
you going out with him?”

“Mitch?” Jenny squeaked.

“Marlboro man, idiot. Ryan
the gorgeous. What the hell you talking about
Mitch
?”

Jenny shook her head.

“You’re not?” Zoe asked,
her eyes wide.

“No, I didn’t mean that. I
said I’d go out to dinner with him. Once.”

“Why once?”

“Because I need to keep some
professional distance.”

“Oh, Jen. Please! You’re
not performing heart surgery on him. You’re not his shrink. Get real.”

“I am real. And I am a
professional. And I care about his progress.”

“And if you had wild,
screaming sex with him, that would change? Suddenly you wouldn’t give a shit
whether he stutters or not?”

Jenny gave her a disgusted
look.

“Yeah, it’s stupid,” Zoe
concluded.

Jenny reached for her beer.
“Look, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Too damned bad,” Zoe
replied, sitting forward in her chair.

“No, not too damned bad,
because if I don’t want to talk about, we’re not going to talk about it.”

Zoe sighed. “Let me just
say one thing.”

“Right,” Jenny replied,
rolling her eyes.

“No, really,” Zoe said,
suddenly earnest. “It’s about Mitch. It’s about a comparison. And then I swear
to God, I’ll never mention the asswipe’s name again.”

Jenny crossed her arms. “Go
ahead.”

Zoe sat back. If this were
going to be the last thing she could say about Mitch Crow, she had to make it
good. “You know, I didn’t dislike Mitch at first. He reminded me of the Malibu
Ken doll I had as a kid.”

Jenny nodded. She’d heard
the comparison before. Mitch was a tall, good-looking, well-built man with
sandy blond hair and a goatee.

“The first thing that
bothered me about him,” Zoe continued, “was the way he looked at you. Like he
was always analyzing you, but distant, kind of cold, the way you’d look at
someone you just met if you’d heard something kind of questionable about their
character. You know what I mean?”

Jenny nodded. “He had a
habit of cataloging my faults so he could bring them up later.”

“You know what it was,” Zoe
said knowingly. “You were his project. He studied you,
learned
you.”

Jenny had never thought
about it exactly like that, but it rang true. “And then used everything he
learned against me.”

“Because he’s a sick ass
mother fucker,” Zoe added. “Now, compare that behavior to that fine Marlboro Man. He watches you too, every second he can get away with it.”

Jenny was unable to stifle
a smile.

“But it’s a whole different
thing. Ryan’s look says if there’s a puddle and you want his coat down in it so
you can walk across, cool.” Jenny shook her head and started to speak, but Zoe
rushed on. “No shit! I don’t think a guy has ever looked at me like Ryan is looking
at you. Of course, on a scale of one to ten, you’re a nine and I’m a two.”

“That is not true,” Jenny
frowned.

“I’m just talking looks,”
Zoe said. “But you’re right. I’m more like a four or five…and a half. Six if I
spend like an hour putting on makeup...and you view me in just the right light
at the perfect angle.”

Jenny reached across the
table and squeezed her friend’s hand. “You’re a ten in my book.”