Japanese Slang (36 page)

As the traveling linguists stalk the various groups of bucolic organs from village to village and town to town, they uncover along the way hardcore aboriginal words exclusive to each region. The remoter the area, the more exotic the words. In the extreme north, in Hokkaido,
pochi, bochi, puchi, ma, m'ma,
and
momo
are of indigenous Ainu background. On Honshu, the main island, the northern province of Akita hides some of the most interesting, if crass, synonyms for vagina. Words for the female organ favored in tougher village circles in Akita are
anbe
(the northern
tanbe
minus the “t”),
nen,
and, down in the area surrounding Akita airport,
betta.

•   
Kyonen no sh
gatsu kara ore anbe yatte n
danbe!
I didn't get to do any pussy since last New Year's!

•   
Ora ni anbe namesasste kun
da.
She won't let me lick her twat.

•   
Soko no tenugui totte kunro! Betta o nuguwan'nann
.
Gimme that towel there! I wanna dry my snatch.

Just south, by the ski slopes of Yamagata, local thugs enjoy using words like
biren, choko,
and
chame,
while in the rice-field area in the southern part of the province racy farmers use
abecho
or
apecho
to distinguish virginal organs, and
sat
bako
(sugar box) for those more experienced. One province over, in the bay of Sendai, the halibut and tuna fishermen use
berako,
a type of hagfish, to allude to young organs.

One of the roughest village expressions, stumbled upon in the mountains of Aizu, is
kumananna
(bear's hole), also pronounced
kuma ana
(bear hole). Village men use it primarily as a jocular synonym for vagina, but also as a blunt way to describe women.

•   
Ore kon'
da are no kumananna midakeyo!
Man, I got to see her puntang!

•   
Ore ga k
te kitara y
, ano onna kuma ana aratte toko dabe sa! Ora tamage da!
When I got back, that woman was washing her twat! Man, what a turn on!

•   
Kondo T
ky
kara kita kuma ana ii onna da b
g
!
That bit-of-ass just in from Tokyo, she's one good looking woman!

•   
Areya nisa no kumananna ga?
Is that there your bit-of-ass?

An interesting set of off-color words in the province
of Niigata is of chaste Buddhist lineage.
Daibutsu
(Great Buddha) is used throughout the nation as a naughty euphemism for penis, the Buddha's shaved crown suggesting a sacrilegious resemblance to the bloated head of an erect organ.
B
zu
(priest) is another popular penile alternative based on the shaved-head association.