Japanese Slang (37 page)

Religious words for the female organ, however, are more rare. In certain Niigata circles
nyorai-sama
(Lord Buddha), is the vagina; by entering the world of the Buddha the worshipper will be transported to ecstasy. For an even stronger touch of profanity, some individuals opt for
rurik
nyorai
(Lapis-lazuli Buddha).

Kannon-sama
(Goddess of Mercy) is another popular regional word.
Kannon,
whose name literally means “she who hears their cries (of anguish),” has the added attraction that she is a Bodhisattva—she post-pones her own ascent to nirvana so that she can guide men to joy. Some groups use
kannon-sama
to refer to the clitoris. Even the Buddhist temples have not survived Niigata street slang unscathed.
Okunoin
(inner sanctuary) is used as a zesty reference to the vagina, while
honzon no kageishi,
the hidden image of the Holy Buddha, serves blasphemously as the clitoris.

Further down the road, the prefecture of Tochigi offers the unique
fune.
Some villagers argue that its etymology is
fune,
as in “boat.” Others, however, point out that since most of the mountain villagers who enjoy using the term have never seen a boat, the original inspiration must have been
fune
(couple sleep).

On the coasts of Mie, in the area of the old pearl fisheries of Shima, the private local words for vagina are
konbo
and the harsher
hamehame
(jab jab). In the
southern part of Honshu, in the precincts of the Setonaikai National Park in Yamaguchi, the favorite regional word is
bonshii,
while across the straits of I yo on the island of Shikoku, unusual words like
chobo, magu, okai,
and
okaisu
are heard in the impenetrable dialect of the local roughs.

The most bizarre words for vagina in Japan are to be found in the ancient Kingdom of Ry
k
, today's Okinawa. Our linguists board ship at Kagoshima on Kyushu, and island-hop through the hundred-odd islands that comprise Okinawa, interrogating locals in the fishing ports all the way to Yonagunijima, off the coast of Taiwan. In their ports of call they encounter exotic languages, unintelligible from one island to the next.

Before their boat leaves Kagoshima harbor, the travelers have a last chance to pick up a few final indelicate expressions from the dock:
ohako
(box),
mame
(bean),
mochi
(rice cake), and
bocho,
all synonyms for mature organs, while
anabachi
(new pot) is reserved for virgins. One of the favorite harbor-slang words in Kagoshima is
manzu,
the local pronunciation of
manj
(bean-jam bun). An unsolved linguistic mystery to this day is that this bun also makes a cameo appearance on distant Ishigaki island, almost six hundred miles out to sea, where
manj
is the female organ, and
manj
shin
(doing bean bun), means “raunchy intercourse.”

The most widespread Okinawan words for vagina are
hi, hii, pi
and
pii
(which, to the travelers' surprise, also mean “fart” on most of the islands). Other general words popular on the islands are
h
, haji,
and the polite and circumspect
m
,
which in actual fact means
“front.” The inhabitants of the tiny islet of Kuroshima use
kizaku
(shell) in their harsh local slang, while further out, on the island of Tokunoshima, the local taboo words are
homa
and
to.
Nearer to the main island of Okinawa, on minuscule Yoronjima, the island words for vagina are
po
and
p
o.

On Okinawa proper the most common rough word for the organ is
h
mi.
Tourists are often startled to see it scrawled on the walls of public toilets with the elegant characters
h
for “jewel” and
mi
for “taste.” The fiercest Okinawa expression for sex is
h
mi yari
(doing tasty jewels). In the jargon of the local mobsters, who are known as
ashibj
(the men about town) in the capital city of Naha,
h
mi yari
has a sterner meaning: it refers to gangbangs and forced rape.