Jase (15 page)

“When did you do all this?”

“Years ago, after a year of working together. My file is now yours to deal with, Carly,” Mimi wiped a tear.

“Your
forty two Mimi!”

“I KNOW!”

Thomas jumped, “Okay we need to…”

We cried and hugged
each other and then I pulled Thomas into our embrace. After a few minutes he began to tremble, “I need to go, I need to see her.”

~

When we came home the house was full of food and flowers. Thomas and I just looked at each other for a few minutes, “How the hell did this happen?”

I started crying i
mmediately, what else can you do? One day you’re sitting at breakfast, laughing and making plans to play a fucking board game and then a knock on the door and the whole world changes. She was my life, mother, and best friend all rolled into one. I had never really thought about why I knew she was the best mother… I just knew she was. She was patient, and loving, she supported me in everything I had ever wanted to do. There was always balance in our lives and I knew I was one of the two most important people in her life. She laughed at her mistakes and ours,
a life lesson chalk it up and move on
. She never pretended to be perfect and she didn’t have to. She was the absolute perfect mother for me.

The
emptiness inside was immediate. I felt myself caving in, into a deep black nothing. I could survive anything because I knew I had her. Now… I had nothing, worse than nothing. I looked at Thomas who had started to finally break down.

“We’l
l know soon enough,” I hugged him and we both sobbed.

We woke the next morning and di
d the same thing. Cameron phoned from the airport, I didn’t even know he was already on his way. But of course, he would be. I showered and dressed and came out and saw Thomas sitting at the desk they shared for almost a year now, he was crying and my shattered heart was breaking even more. He picked up his laptop and threw it against the fireplace and it smashed into pieces.

He turned around and saw me, “I
can’t fucking do this Carly.”

“I know,” I started to cry again.

Tears don’t dry up, pain doesn’t go away, and hearts don’t heal from this kind of loss. I knew that for the rest of my life it would hurt this bad. Nothing could replace her… ever.

Two days would never be enough
time.

T
wo lifetimes wouldn’t be, and if there really was a hell: I just found it.

I grabbed the broom and dust pan and turned to see him on his knees sobbing and whispering something.
I assumed he was praying. I watched him wondering how he could talk to him right now. But when he was done he wiped his eyes and turned around and reached for the broom, “Please, I can do that.”

“Were you praying?”

“Yes,” Thomas cleaned up the mess.

“What made you smash the computer?”

“An email, we got funding, not that it matters now,” he cleaned up the mess and took the trash out.

When he came back in he took a deep breath, “We get through our
allotted two days Carly, just like she instructed. We love her forever because there’s no other way, and we make her proud because she’s looking down on us now.”

“People who don’t believe don’t go to heaven,” I started walking away.

He grabbed my arm, “She believed Carly, and yes she did go to heaven. I know when you were younger you went to church. There would be no other place worthy of her. Your mother …” he let out a breath, “She’s in heaven, watching us.”

~

After the services, we went to the lawyers to read her will, everything was spilt fifty-fifty between Cameron and me. The house was Thomas’s. She still owned the condo in Jersey that Cameron was living in and we both thought we should keep it. Her old tenants moved out a few months after my escape from Barbie, and Cameron moved in. She wanted anything we didn’t want to be donated to Catholic charities. When the lawyer read that, Thomas looked at me and winked, which made me feel better.

We dropped Cameron off at the airport. On the
way home Thomas asked me, “Where to kiddo?”

I laughed, “I have no idea.”

“Well we aren’t allowed to grieve now, just celebrate. Life is one big party, huh?”

I laughed, “Then I
can’t go back to that house.”

Thomas pulled over and looked at me, “That house is just as much yours as it is mine. I don’t care what your mother said, I will not take your home from you.”

“Thomas it’s a house, she isn’t there. I just can’t go back now, not for a while.”

“So we sell it?”

“YOU sell it,” I reminded him.

“WE or it stays, making us both miss her. It’s up to
you,” he held my hand.

“What are you going to do now?”

“Well she would kill me but I don’t think I could ever go back to that college either.”

“Alright, I’
m confused.”

“The laptop incident,” he used air quotes, “We had an offer.”

“What do you mean we?”

“A company wants me to continue my research but it would mean a big move. But it’s also big money, and I get to do all the hiring. When I applied for
grants I never expected this.”

“Then why did you throw the laptop?”

“I have known you for two years Carly, I love you like I would my own. I wouldn’t leave you here, ever.”

“
Let’s do it,” I smiled, “I love you too, Thomas.”

He pulled out and continued driving, “You going to ask where it is?”

“Sure where is it?” I looked at him and he frowned, “Jersey?”

“Yes…
so take your time and consider wisely.”

“I don’t have to see him, I
haven’t even talked to him in nine months, I am fine, let’s do it.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“When we get back can I use your Mac?”

“If you promise not to throw it at the wall.”

“We are going to get through this kiddo.”

“Yes we are.”
We had to right? But when would it stop hurting
?

-I wanna
lick that little kitty…Z

I looked down and read the message and roll
ed my eyes glancing briefly up at Dominic, Abe, and Cyrus who were smirking down at their phones.

Zandor had sent a group message and was sitting in the large leather chair in DeLuca’s main headquarters in Prato
, Italy. We were finalizing the last details for the research and development facility in New Jersey.

-Be careful that kitty scratches….Dom

Everyone looked down again

-I would hav
e that hot little ass tied up, declawed, and trying to rub all over me in two fucking minutes…Z

-focus …J

-I am focusing on Shakira over there, I bet those hips don’t lie, well maybe on the bed with me fucking the hell out of her… or across my face…Z

-Dude
, cut the shit—I’m getting hard just thinking about her…C

-She’
s married…Dom

-Like he gives a shit…Abe

- I wonder if she can roll her tongue…right across my cock…Z

Everyone chuckled.

“Is there a problem?” Benito DeLuca was annoyed.

“No,” we all replied at the same time.

“Good, please give my wife the respect she deserves,” Benito sat back, “Proceed.”

-Now I need to lick that, can you even imagine for a minute what s
ex with that fuck would be like? Poor little kitty….Z

- Not i
f I get to her first, I wouldn’t declaw her, I would love to feel her nails sinking into my back…Dom

-Not gonna happen Dom, I called it first…Z

-Aw… I’m not one of you, but if you want to share, you take the back, I will take the front. She appears to need it….Dom

“That i
s all,” Jules De Luca looked at her husband.

“That will be all,” he nodded to the door dismissing her, “Any questions?”

“I have one, will she be traveling to the states? We could use her expertise for a few weeks. Of course we would love for you to come as well,” Zandor sat back.

“If you find it necessary
, I will make her available. Feel free to ask my assistant for anything you need. See you at dinner.” Benito stood and left the room.

We all stood and looked at Zandor, “
Let’s go.” I motioned to the door.

Zandor rolled his eyes and stood, there was a loud bang against the table and he doubled over.

“Did you, are you, oh my, my,” Dom chuckled.

“
Nah I’m fucking with you,” Zandor stood and winked at me.

“Sounded more like a pencil
anyhow," Dom patted his back.

“No you forget I am from America
, not Italy,” Zandor laughed and patted his back.

“Oh that’s right, inferior to us. However half of you is
Segreti, let us hope it’s the lower half, huh?” Dom was pretty damn funny, fit right in.

“No Dom the lower h
alf is all Steel, you wanna check it out?” Zandor grabbed his belt buckle and Dom shot him a warning glance, and we all laughed…

~

We all went out to a club owned by none other than DeLuca, we ate dinner and watched the ladies dance on the stage, fucking topless. Benito and Jules hosted the dinner. Zandor and I had a little chat about scaling it down and I hope he got it.

Whenever I looked up, Jules DeLuca was looking at me. I wasn’t sure what it was all about
, but it made me fucking uncomfortable. Benito whispered in her ear and she shook her head and stood up and walked over to me.

“Dance with me,” she grabbed my hand and pulled me up before I had a chance to
object. The free flowing liquor didn’t help my ability to react all that quickly either.

“Your husband tell you to dance with me?”

“Yes. Benito wants us all to get along,” Jules smiled, she had a nice smile. Zandor was right she had a Shakira vibe about her, spicy hot, “You are single, yes?”

“Yeah, but not really.”

“In love, huh?”

“
Aren’t we all?” I nodded towards Benito, hoping to draw her attention back to her husband since her tits were snug against me. I nodded to Zandor and on cue he walked over and cut in.

I sat next to C
yrus on one of the corner couches as some of the girls started coming over and dancing for us. Abe and Dom each left with a girl after the second song.

“You may wanna grab one before they get sweaty. Which shouldn’t take long
, holy fuck Cyrus,” I elbowed him and we both laughed.

“You first.”

“Not gonna happen.”

“Either am I, check out Zandor,” Cyrus shook his head.

Zandor was leading Jules to the bar, holding her hand. I looked at Benito and he rolled his eyes and whispered to one of his goons before following one of the dancers into the back. I looked back and Cyrus was at the bar beside Zandor. I was certain I had ordered water and this was not water.

“Hey Zandor
, you about ready to get going,” Cyrus patted his shoulder.

“Nah, not yet.”

“Look, Momma warned us about girls like her,” Cyrus smiled at Zandor, “Let’s go, there is plenty of ass around here.”

“I think I like this little kitten though,” Zandor grinned and ran his hand
lower down her back.

Jules slapped him across
the face and Zandor laughed.

“Cut your losses bro, she isn’
t worth the fight,” Cyrus caught her hand as she attempted to slap him. “I’ll let go but if you try that again your worst nightmares will come true Julianna Sanchez.”

She
glared at him, “What do you know of my dreams?”

“Julianna Sanchez was a
registered nurse at a Cuban hospital, where she met Benny boy. She was married when she met him. Somehow she saved enough money to fly to Italy for a little procedure, an enhancement of sorts. Shortly after, she divorced her husband, moved to Italy with her daughter who is at a boarding school. How am I doing there, Jules?”

“You don’t know a thing of me!”

“I know your husband just offered you up to Jase, who happens to be the majority shareholder in DeLuca. I know he just left the room with one of the dancers here and it didn’t seem to bother you one fucking bit. So again Zandor, Momma raised us better than to play with little kitties who climb their way from the bottom hoping like hell they make it to the top of the proverbial pole.”

Cyrus caught her next attempt and Zandor laughed.

“There is nothing wrong with an open marriage,” she snapped.

“Hey
-- to each their own, but yours isn’t open to what you want, it’s whatever he says. Back home we call women like that—whores.” Jules spit in his face and he laughed and licked the saliva off the side of his lips exposing his piercing.

“You will fail
here, mark my word. Then you’ll be poking holes and painting people again on the Jersey shore!”

Zandor laughed as she walked away, “Alright bro,
let’s go see how Jase is doing, and get dessert to go.”

I woke up to someone between my legs, if I closed my eyes tight enough
, I could imagine Carly. It had been nine fucking months and I swear I needed a release, preferably caused by someone other than myself. I was fucked up and she had cut off all ties, so why did I give a fuck? She was probably banging Brad. I heard a gasp and looked down. The dark haired woman was fascinated and I smiled, “Boccino.”

“Sure,” I laughed, I really needed to
learn some Italian other than just fottiti, ti voglio bene, and the one I could not wait to use, ti amo, with-- Carly, “Stop !” I sat back quickly, “What the fuck was I thinking?”

“You finished?” Cyrus pulled me up
everyone was standing there looking at me. Abe looked quickly away, he was pissed. So was I. Cyrus helped me stager to the door and I don’t remember much after that.

~

I woke up to slamming drawers and then little giggles, “Little Bell, stop slamming things please!” I moaned and rolled over and covered my head with my pillow.

“Is Daddy sick?”

“A little but he will be fine. Let’s get you back to Grandma and I will kick your…wake your father up,” Bella laughed at Abe.

When Abe came back I was getting dressed, he couldn’t even look at me.

“Abe I was fucked up, I didn’t even…”

“Yeah, well you should just forget about Carly, this shit
isn’t going to work.”

“Listen, that’s not going to fucking happen…”

“Katherine died, so yes you are going to…”

“
Wait, what the fuck did you just say?”
I swear to God I had heard him say…

“Carly’s mother three
nights ago. She had a heart attack and died,” I watched as Abe threw his stuff in his bag.

“Abe I want her number,” he had refused and I respected his wishes up until right fucking now.

“Not going to happen.”

I grabbed him and he pushed me back, “Don’t start something you aren’t prepared to fucking finish
, Steel.”

I closed my eyes, “When are the services?”

“Yesterday, immediate family and…”

“The book club. Fuck
, she is going to be such a fucking mess. I need to see her,” I felt my hands begin to tremble.

“You sit down and shut the fuck up! They fucking responded to the email, you fucking win Jase, now
let’s see what the fuck you can do that’s not underhanded!”

“Abe that’s not fucking fair, not fair
at all man,” I stood up and started packing my things and Bella’s.

~

Abe and I didn’t talk the entire ride to the airport or the flight home. As soon as we landed he pulled his phone out and made a call, I know it was to her and I stayed the fuck away. One phone call and I could find out how to get a hold of her, just one fucking call.

When Abe
got off the phone he glanced at me and walked out the door. I carried sleeping beauty to the car where she slept on my chest.

Abe looked at me, “Sorry, I don’t want to fight with you. I know what you are
doing and what you have done. Watching Benny boy last night, fucked me up. I don’t want that for her.”

“Did it fuck you up before or after you took off with …”

Abe laughed and slugged me in the arm, “I’m not claiming to be in love.”

“I know, but I really didn’t, fuck Abe how much did I drink?”

“I am assuming doubles of whatever you ordered, you’re the shit now man, Jase Steel fucking business tycoon.

“No different than before, brother.”

“We have a party to throw on the shore,” Abe laughed.

“Abraham
O’Donnell CFO of Steel USA.”

“No kid
ding,” Abe laughed, “Jase, you’re amazing with her.”

“This little thing? It’s nothing man
, and everything, she is the coolest little chick in the world. My girl, finally in my arms.”

“So that’s enough right?”

“What are you getting at Abe?”

“You
won’t fall apart, you’ll still be her Daddy, like you have been for over a year now, not just a piece of him if Carly tells you to fuck off?”

“She
won’t,” I smiled and looked down at Bella’s little face. “But if it happens, I would be no different, hurt, but no different than I’ve been for over a year now. In love with your crazy, beautiful cousin, who I didn’t have the balls to…”

Abe covered his ears, “No, I don’t want to hear it.
”

I laughed, “I’
m going to nail her ass.”

“Jase
you’re pissing me off,” Abe warned.

“She is not going to be able to walk for …”

“Hey Bella, time for you to wake up,” Abe tried to poke her.

“Don’t do it, she
won’t sleep for hours if she wakes up,” I was serious, if she fell asleep for ten minutes it was a fucking party for at least three hours when she woke up.

“Shut up and I
won’t,” Abe laughed.

We pulled up in front of
Abe’s place, “Busy day tomorrow.”

“Oh she will be here in two days. The
Professor has to take care of a few things and he will follow.”

“You sure nothing is going on with her and him?”

“I’m sure,” Abe rolled his eyes, “My cousin seems to like bad asses.”

“Smart girl.”

~

Abe called me in the morning, really early
, “She’s leaving now, a day early. Cameron isn’t going to be back in town for two days. I’m picking her up at six. Going to bring her by the house and then I don’t know, what the fuck!”

“I got the party, you take care of her. Call the office
, see …”