Jase (25 page)

Slate didn’t know she was there to see it first hand, didn’t know she was sitting across the arena so she could see the players’ faces where they sat on the bench. No one knew she went to the games, that she couldn’t stay away, even though she knew she had to for his sake. She bought a Tridents jersey after the first game, wearing his number to all the games she attended, both home and away.

She had taken a gamble one night, following other fans around the outside of the arena to where the players parked, thinking if she could only glimpse him from a distance, it would be enough.
Then, she saw him walking out of the hallway into the parking lot, and without clear thought, had begun moving towards him. She realized she was still as drawn to him as she had been all those months ago at Mica’s party.
Her advance abruptly halted when she saw him step to the side with a beautiful young woman. That was another moment when her breath was stolen, but that time by pain as his friend fondled him unashamedly, barely blocking the view with her body.

It was what she wanted for him. But…
God,
it hurt so badly to see.

Eyes welling with tears, DeeDee had turned on her heel to flee, nearly panicking when his voice called her name, because she stupidly had gotten too close and he clocked her. Of
course he
had,
because there was no way the universe would let her slink away in quiet humiliation. That was too much to ask,
apparently
.

She knew Jase was coming after her, his footsteps fast and loud in the parking lot behind her. It seemed like she was moving through molasses, each step away from him a struggle. Then he touched her, and she froze in place, looking up into his eyes.
The smile
on his face had brought more tears to her
eyes, because
he looked well and happy, so even if she was miserable, it looked like she made the right decision. Brazening it out, she stood and chatted with him as if she wasn’t tearing in two. He teasingly invited a caress and she had been unable to hold back, reaching out to touch him gently,
lovingly,
as if she still had a right to do so. Now she closed her eyes, remembering the feel of his hair between her fingers, the unguarded look on his face as he straightened.

Then his friend was stalking across the lot towards them, and from the stormy look on her face, DeeDee thought he might be paying for his actions for a long while. She knew if it had been her, he would have had
hell
to pay for first chasing, and then having a private conversation with another woman, especially one with whom he shared a history.

She quickly said goodbye, fleeing like a coward, leaving him standing there alone to explain things to his woman. She didn’t want to stick around and hear him fumble for words to address what they had once been…
what
they now weren’t to each other…not after they teased each other so lovingly about labels and
titles.
She didn’t want to see the pity in the woman’s face either. It would be a knowing look, acknowledging without speaking how much it hurt to lose all that was Jase, how much it distressed her to see him under another
woman
’s hands.

That didn’t stop her from going to the games, though.
Slate told her Jase was leaving tickets at the box office for each game. Declining to use them, she told him to make sure other club members did, so the tickets wouldn’t go to waste, implying she wouldn’t be attending.
Buying her own tickets online, she selected her seat with care. Far enough away from the glass to prevent a chance meeting of eyes, but not so far away she couldn’t see his face.

Now, sitting beside the couch as he slept, she bowed her head, tracing his features with her gaze, reaching out to push his hair back off his face. From across the ice, across a parking lot, or across these few inches separating
them, however
it happened,
she
loved looking at him. His features were normally so expressive, but now, in a drug-induced sleep, the muscles were slack, relaxed, which held a beauty all its own. Her fingers continued to slide through his hair then around his face to cup his jaw possessively. He stirred under her touch and she froze, but he turned his face into her hand, burrowing into her palm and sighing deeply as a smile curled the corners of his mouth up and he murmured something.

The weight of a presence loomed behind her and she knew what was coming. Looking up, she stared into Slate’s eyes as he scowled down at her. Mutely, she asked him…what…she didn’t even know what she was asking, just something. For him to give her this, a few minutes Jase would never have to know about. A salve for her heart and emotions. Something to hold close, bring out in the night when she was alone and lonely. She might not be able to have him in her life, but she would by God fight Slate for these few moments. Her chin quivered, lips trembling as she pressed them tightly together, and he closed his eyes, shaking his head. “Fuck me,” he muttered and turned, stomping back
to
the kitchen as she hiccupped a sob. Looking back down at the man she loved, she ran her fingers tenderly through his long hair.

***

Hoss stood in the kitchen, watching through the open archway as DeeDee sat next to the couch, one of her hands constantly in contact with some part of Jase. There was a slow easing in his chest, a loosening in the tightness that had started building when he found out DeeDee had closed the door on Jase again. He remembered the blinding beauty on her face he had seen only once before, having caught a glimpse of it again tonight when she first approached where Jase lay. He turned to Slate and nodded. “I get it, Prez. I totally get it. I was wrong, man.”

“Come again?” Slate asked, cocking a hip to lean against the countertop.

“What you and Bingo’ve been telling me. I like DeeDee, always have, but I don’t love her. I don’t have that kind of connection with her. Did you see the man’s face when she laughed? He knew she was here, even if he couldn’t see her. Doped to the gills, he still knew she was here, and it eased something inside him.” He looked down at the tips of his boots. “I wanted to keep her in the club, because…hell, I don’t know all the reasons. Mostly because keeping her in the club meant we kept part of Winger. That man was a good fucking friend, a good brother.”

“Yeah, he was.”

“Jase is a good friend, and he’s good for DeeDee. They’re good together.” He made a face. “I don’t want to
fucking
lose her, too.”

Sighing, Slate leaned over and looked
around
him, one corner of his lips lifting in a slow smile. “I’m pretty sure we get to keep her, man. Jase is one of us, but for the patch. Now, she just needs to pull her head out of her own ass, see what you’ve seen.”

***

Sitting in Adam’s office two weeks later, Jase was ready for some good news. “Come on, hit me,” he joked, turning his shoulder towards the doctor. “See how ready I am? Come on.”

Shaking his head, Adam said, “Funny, Jase. It wasn’t your arm that got hurt, was it? Maybe your head? I bet that’s it. You hit your head when you fell down?”

“No,
really
,” he nodded, “I’m ready to get back to two-a-days in the gym.”

“From what I hear, you already are,” Adam said dryly, laughing as Jase winced.

“Eh, not so much. I’m doing a few extra reps of the exercises and stretches you’ve prescribed. Nothing wild and
crazy
, just ready to get back to life.” Jase ran his hands through his hair, leaving one palm pressed against the back of his neck, rubbing as the muscles tensed. “Skating is my life, man. I’m ready.”

“All right,” Adam said, turning to his desk and making a note.

“All right?” Jase questioned, not believing his ears.

“Yeah, all right.” Adam shrugged. “You’re working hard at getting healthy,
and as a result,
you’re healing fast, about five days ahead of what I expected. But, I don’t want you to overdo it. Five mile light runs, no more than two-a-days in the gym, and no exercises other than what’s on your sheet. Keep the weight to what we’ve discussed, and I’ll see you on the ice this time next week.”

“Yes, sir.” Jase snapped off a faux salute, standing with a smile.

As he was climbing into the
truck,
his phone rang. He switched it to Bluetooth and answered, “Hello?”

Daniel’s voice echoed in the truck and Jase smiled. “Hey, Jase, how’s it hanging, man?”

“Hanging quite
fine
, thank you very much,” he responded. “What’s up, Cap’n?”

“Just calling to check up on you. How did the appointment go today? They release you to skate yet?” Daniel asked
seriously
.

“Next week, I’m back
on ice
. This week, I get to sweat my balls off in the gym.” Jase grimaced as he started the truck, pulling into traffic.

“Ouch. At least you’re
off
the couch, right?”

“Yeah. That’s something, at least. Fucking IR, hate the list. Hate it. I’ve got too much time on my hands. Hell, Daniel, I’ve been reading. Who the hell do we know that
reads
?” Jase turned the truck towards the gym.

“What the hell are you reading?” Daniel was laughing now, and there was something in the background of the call.

“Is that Mica? Tell her hi from me,” he said. “Bear’s gal left a book at the house, some kind of submissive stuff. Not much in the way of dialog, but
it’s
descriptive
with
the cock and pussy action; I’ll give it that. Leather and silk, swings and benches, and lots of other things I’ve never heard of.”

Mica’s voice asked in disbelief, “Mommy porn? You’re reading mommy porn?
Jeeze
-oh-PETE, Jase!”

“Why the hell don’t you warn people when you put ‘em on speaker, Daniel? You know I’m not the kind of person you can have on
speaker
, man. What the hell?” He
laughed, then said,
“Hey, Mica?”

He waited for an
acknowledgment
from her and continued, chuckling, “You should come visit me. I’ve been reading for days. You might even call it studying. I’ve learned a lot from my studies, I mean…reading. Plus, my dick’s not broke no more. Little Jase is working just fine.”

It sounded as if there was a scuffle in the background, and then Daniel’s voice came back on the phone. “Talk to you later.”

Jase said, “Laters,” and hung up the phone, laughing.

“Whoooo! Win column. Champion
City
, coming to a theater near you.” Jase was
crowing
, standing on the bench in the locker room. “Way to go, boys. Smash those—who were the losers we were playing again? I already forgot! Whoooo!”

Laughter filled the room and Jase looked around at his teammates. Nodding, he stepped down from the bench and made his way over to Lee, standing near Coach. “Good team, Cap’n,” he said. “We are right and tight. Ready to keep winning, man.”

Lee made a face, cutting his eyes over to Jase. “You know who the next set of games is against, right?”

Jase blew a disappointed raspberry. “Yeah, Mallets. Daniel accused me of getting hurt so I didn’t have to play them the last series. He’s gonna pay for that comment Friday,
wham
.” He slammed a closed fist into his palm with
a broad
grin.

This would be the first time Jase played against his former team. The Tridents and Mallets had met for four games during the five weeks he was injured, but he hadn’t been able to go watch, much less play. The teams had split that series, which hadn’t hurt Jase’s feelings. He knew it would be tough to play against his old teammates, but he would figure it out.
Them’s the breaks
, he thought, leaning down to unlace his skates.

Hardly anything had worked out as he intended when he asked for the trade, but this had still been a good move for him, both as a player and as a person. He might not be with DeeDee, but things everywhere else were good, and he hadn’t given up hope on her yet, either.

The next morning, he had barely walked in from his run and was standing in the kitchen, sweating and drinking water, when his phone rang. Pressing speaker where it lay on the countertop, he answered without looking at the caller information. “Hello?”

“Jase, how you
doin’
?” Mason’s voice came through the phone and Jase cocked his head, looking at the phone as if it could tell him what the man wanted. There could be no
good
reason for Mason to be calling him. That man was seriously scary.

“I’m good. What’d I do?” Jase asked and winced.
And, once again, your mouth leads with
stupid
, he thought.

“You didn’t do anything, fucker.” Mason laughed. “Calling to see if you wanted to go on a run Sunday before the game. A few of us are coming down and we’ll be taking part in the first charity ride of the year; thought you might want to get in on it.”

“Sure, count me in. You coming to the game then?” He wondered if the charity or the game was the real reason for Mason’s presence in Fort Wayne.

“Hell yeah, wouldn’t miss it. The monster match-up of the century is how they’re playing this up in Chicago. Prodigal son Jase Spencer pitted against Daniel Rupert and crew.” Mason snorted. “If they only knew, right?”

“Yeah, yeah. If only,” he said quietly.
If they only knew how stupid I was.
“Hey,” he paused, clearing his suddenly constricted throat, “will DeeDee be on the ride?”

“Naw, she’s got
other
crap to do. She’s helping Ruby plan her wedding long distance. Slate’s been out of town and finally got tired of being alone, and he called for Ruby to come out west last week, asked her to marry him as soon as she got off the plane. They’ll be back in a few days, but not before the game. Did you know she’s pregnant?” Mason asked, curiosity evident in his voice.

Jase’s throat closed and he couldn’t breathe.
She lied?
His next thought was full of
joy,
because she had wanted a child so badly.
Did I give her that?
“DeeDee said she couldn’t get pregnant.”